Maymay, thank you for posting about the support and love you are getting, I feel better knowing how loved you are by your group of friends.

MayMay, I'm so sorry you saw that. It must have been horrible.

Thanks AnneW and diane. :)

I've done a lot of crying today and I have been getting lots of support from my boyfriend, my boyfriend's best friend, my boss, and everyone at the bar. And today I've also hugged every firefighter and paramedic that always comes into the bar; including all of the firefighters that helped clean my room while I was in Hawaii. And earlier this evening we had a group therapy session and they all gave me advice on coping with the trauma of seeing something like the plane crash that happened. I feel like it has helped a lot. :)

My boss also gave me the whole week off so that I can have some time to process and cope with what happened. And right now me, Matt, Cory, and Snuggles are all staying at my boyfriend's house so that my boyfriend can keep an eye on me just in case I have another seizure. :)

Today rained all day so finished painting cabinets in garage, all thoroughly done, so hopefully mice and spiders will not like having everything painted white, they are used to unpainted wood and dirt and filth, so this clean stuff is shocking hopefully. Tomorrow I can move all the tools, nails, screws etc. in to their forever home and off the deck. Will be so nice to enjoy the deck without all that stuff there.
will post June challenge stuff tomorrow, too tired now

so sorry you had to see that Maymay, it will take several days to get that out of your mind, such a difficult thing for you, and then to have a seizure. Just seeing in on the news, affected me, so I can't imagine what it must have been for you.
I once stopped at a wreck and stayed with the two guys until they died and paramedics arrived. I kept waking up in terror. A friend told me to tell my mind to STOP thinking, and ask to have the image go away. Don't know if this will help or not, just want you to know that you will get through this, and the pain will get less in time, my heart goes out to you.

yes, had to unload then load Java, spent hours trying to figure it out, then 'Tillie told me to redo it, sorry you missed chat Cory

Dear MayMay -- I am so so sorry you witnessed such a traumatic event & followed by your own neurological/somatic trauma... Please know my heart is with you right now.

Be as kind and gentle to yourself as you can for the next few days and beyond. It will take some time for your body and brain to process, integrate, and heal from your recent experiences.

Allowing yourself time to cry, "zone out," sleep more, take bubble baths, receive hugs &/or massage, AND allow other people to care for/comfort you -- like your wonderful "peeps" who brought you that healthy fruit when you were sick to ensure that you didn't only eat pickles ;)

Speaking of which ;) --Please do not neglect proper fluids and eating -- even if you don't feel like it... Even if you just have some chicken or miso soup.

I'm really glad you have Matt & Cory & NOW Snuggles to give you LOTS of LOVE :D & doggie "kisses" & cuddles!!!

Thinking of you, MayMay, & (as so many others said) sending you big hugs...

Update us & keep us posted on how you are feeling and doing, ok?

Take Good Care,
AnneW

5 of us have gotten into the chatroom.
We all have updated JAVA.

Yes Cory :D
it does look silly.
We will miss you.

Yes Cory we got that too but we kept on running the updates until they worked.

You may need to unload JAVA and then reinstall it.

I tried running the update and I am getting the same message. It says the site bizsiteservies.com/chat is using some jre which hasn't been updated. I don't even know what that means. I will have to have our computer guy look at it tomorrow. Sorry Tillie. Tell everyone I have been trying to get on. Makes me look silly when it is my program and I can't even get in :)

Cory,
Diane and I had that issue and had to download JAVA updates to get back in.

Well I had planned to be on the support group tonight but for some reason, my computer is saying that my security settings are blocking me from joining??? Anyone else having these issues? Not sure what has changed in the past few weeks, but I will have to have my I.T. guy look at my computer now. Sorry guys, I have no idea how to log in now...ridiculous!

Cory

Thanks Tillie.

MayMay,
I saw that accident on the news yesterday.
So very very sorry you had to see that. :(

GREAT BIG (((HUGS)))

Take care and rest.

Again so very very sorry.

Sincerely, Tillie (((HUGS)))

Hi everyone! :)

I hope everyone is doing better than I am right now.

Yesterday was a really rough day for me. And when I mean rough, I mean it was one of the WORST days of my life. :(

I don't know if any of you guys have heard about this... But yesterday there was a really bad airplane crash at an air show in Ohio. And I was there when it happened.

I witnessed the whole entire thing. It was awful. An airplane that had a "Wing-Walker" performing on it, crashed to the ground and then burst into flames. The "wing-walker" and the pilot both died instantly in the crash. :(

And then to top it all off, a few minutes after I saw the airplane crash, I had a seizure; which I'm pretty sure was caused by the shock and trauma of me watching 2 people die right in front of my eyes. :(

So the paramedics that arrived at the scene to help the "wing-walker" and the pilot, ended up taking me to the hospital. :(

Here's a link to an article about the crash:

www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/06/22/dayton-air-show-plane-crash_n_3483600.html

It was really bad. I still can't stop crying about it. I've been crying on and off ever since the paramedics put me in the ambulance yesterday. Last night I ended up crying myself to sleep, and then this morning I woke up crying again after having nightmares about the crash. :(

Good morning :)

Had hopes my hoarder would do something, anything around here today.
He has gone off somewhere.
Maybe he will return soon but probabally won't.
He wants me to wash his clothes. I don't want to.
The kitten keeps jumping, flying at me and digging in with his claws to hold on. I grab him and he play wrestles and bites me. He bites hard. I have almost used up an entire bottle of iodine.
Then he stalks my big kitties risking life & limb.
He is persistent. ;P

I have no plans for today.
Going to eat watermelon and maybe watch something on Netflix. :)

I keep looking for stuff to add to the June Challenge but it's hard to find stuff that's mine that I don't want or need any more.
Feeling like breaking the rules and tossing something of his. lol ;)

Have a great first Sunday of summer!
And remember ONLINE SUPPORT GROUP is tonight. :)

Hello Hello Hello :D

For some reason the wasp population here has really died down.
I am not complaining. :D
This gave me the courage to walk barefoot through the grass! :D
What a wonderful feeling! :D

Diane, whatever you put out for free will be grabbed up and people really like christmas stuff and it would be nice if that stuff was out of your way, over & done with.
Happy your charity will make donation pick ups for you. :D

Lynn, hoping everything smoothes out for you at work. Please take care of yourself and stay hydrated.

Hi Roxie :)


WAY TO GO! Everybody on all you have been doing!
Love reading about all your days. :D

Hello All,
Sorry haven't been posting lately, but I've got to work on my meditation time. To save time I'm not going to say how she's accusing me of acting like her brother was to her mother being verbally abusive and controlling, that is a story that will turn out to be a book.

As for the new job, the only day I worked for a short time was that Tues last week. I was suposed to be there for 12 hours but a few hours that I was there I began to feel dizzy and not feeling well due to the heat. The line supervisor had said that I should go home. When I had arrived there, there was too many wokers and there wasn't a real hands on job for me to do as a packer so I ended up sweeping up under the machines of where I needed to but it wasn't really that important. That same day she had said that I could work 3rd shift from 6:20p to 6:30am. I had already been up since 2am to work from 3:30a to 4p which didn't happen, so I had to turn down that opportunity due to lack of sleep and my own safety. I am going to call her tomorrow and ask if there is any work for me for either the 12hr shift 1st shift or any 8hr shift to work. At this point I'd rather take any shift to work at all and hope to get put on a schedule for more steady work. If I'm on a 12hr shift I would only work 3 days a week. An 8hr shift is different though.
Just so frustrated and anxious to work.

Sunny, pretty day, and instead of going somewhere fun, I finished painting cabinets at one end of garage, and it took hours. Drove to thrift store for another huge drop off, and returned their 3 bins. Talked to supervisor and asked if they would pickup the next load, this is getting to be too much, she said of course they would, so that will be easier this week, knowing don't have to haul it. I was chatting with my hoarder friend today and she suggested I really should get rid of Christmas stuff, I said no one will take, then thought, what if I put it out and put it on craigs list, one bag at a time, maybe someone would pick it up. If not, I told her it is only 3 months until I can donate. The other suggestion was to take to Goodwill since they have more storage than other thrift stores, don't usually go to Goodwill because they pay their handicapped employees 23 cents---- to $4.00 an hour while ceo's get over $400,000 a year.

Whatever you might think of the comic George Carlin (language!), I keep remembering his routine about "Stuff," which I think could be a hoarder's theme. See if you can find it online and watch it. I laughed SO hard. And it is SO true, for everyone, not just hoarders.

What I like about summer? Blue skies, sunshine, wild animals out and about, newborn animals, birds singing (some amazing melodies) , the way the light sparkles on the water. I have to drive over a bridge over a lake to get home and when I glance at the water an immediate sense of calm falls upon me. Lovely.

Oh, dear, my sleep cycle is upside down again. I was up until 6am then slept until 5pm. This happens several times a year. It'll adjust eventually.

I'm happy to report that I brushed my teeth, did all the dishes, wiped down counters, opened two new packages and put away the contents, and bagged up some more books to go to donations.

Diane, thank you, that means a lot.

Hugs all around.

Good moring :)

Nice and quiet and cool here right now.
Cats have all had their breakfasts.
I have really fallen behind on house cleaning but that can wait.
The kitchen is clean and laundry caught up but the house is very dusty.
There is always so much dust living in the desert where the wind blows so much and our road is not paved. lol Oh Well ;)

I want to go to the grocery store today. Running out of almond milk and fruit and kitten chow.
Have my list all made up. Still need to get dressed but first I want to finish drinking my tea.

Sometime this weekend I want to search for more items to add to the June Challenge. :D

Wish I could toss some of his stuff, he has so much all heaped around here.
Last weekend he went to yard sales and brought home even more. :(

I would like to go to wally world (walmart) and buy a new pillow. Mine is so flat now that it's like having no pillow at all.
Washed it last month hoping that would fluff it up but it didn't.

Summer is officially here!
Everybody, make sure you enjoy it.
What's your favorite thing about summer?
I love sun dresses, sandals, fruit, flowers, birds and doing word puzzles in the shade. :)

Tillie and Roxie, been thinking about you both and hope things are going well for you today. You are both so supportive of others, and me, in particular, and I want to thank you, and hope you are both as kind to your self as you have been to others.

Hello gals. Tillie, happy you are feeling better and able to cook good food for you. Roxie, yes, SAD comes and I don't know what is wrong with me, today was going to be a fun day off. Well it was supposed to be sunny, woke up to rain!!!! Cloudy all day, being aware of SAD, made it through today. I went to the shed in back, put two gas lawn mowers that are prehistoric, on the garage roof and pushed them off, went around and pushed them down to end of driveway, also pulled the futon out and put it next to lawn mowers, then put box of tiles on dolly and pulled them down to put with others, as well as some other things, then went in and put on Craigs list, saying they are out there, come and get it. They were gone in an hour. Now know how easy it is to do this with other stuff don't want to haul anywhere. My friends husband came over, but I already had done this, so he gave me advice on sagging cabinets and helped me anchor them. We had a nice long chat, really nice. Then I decided to paint the cabinets in garage, some had one coat that I put on last week, got all outsides done. Was pooped when I finished so going to take the rest of the day off. It is already 4:30 so will take car full of donations in tomorrow and take tomorrow as my day off, since worked today, supposed to be sunny tomorrow. I totally spaced on 12 meeting, would have loved to take part, just forgot when painting. Also watered flowers and raspberries. My dishes have piled up again, so would like to do those today, so tomorrow can be a real day off.
So happy you all say whats going on in your life, helps to feel connected to you.

Hello everybody and thank you.

WAY TO GO! everyone for gettig things done! :D

Had to water outside this morning. Things were looking sort of wilted.
Then I needed to cook some foods to freeze so I can have ready to eat easy meals.
Otherwise I just snack on whatever I find laying around.
Got the kitchen all cleaned up too.
Now I need a shower.
Just taking a rest and checking in.
Went to Friday noon chat and got all caught up with Karl. :D

We have a major leak in the pumphouse now since he tried to fix the leaky faucet in there.
Oh well. :(
Maybe he will fix things right this weekend.

Off to shower now and then take a nap. :)

TTYL :D

Kara, good for the work you did get done! Every little bit helps, I know. I have to keep reminding myself, which is why reading these boards helps. Every post.

Tillie, you are sick? Do you know what or why? I'm concerned about you. You are so important to this website (at least to me). Rest as you need and if you need, please see a doctor. Hugs.

Diane, you sounded so sad about your friend saying no to helping. I understand. But remember there could be any number of reasons for the no and maybe it was only no at this time. You still have friends to help and they do help. You accomplish SO much, hon.

Also, with both SAD and CFS it is hard sometimes to figure out what is different or if I am "really" sick (as opposed to normally sick), if you know what I mean. When I lived in Illinois over a decade ago, I had a wonderful doctor who could look at me and know immediately I was "sick sick" as opposed to normally ill. I really miss her. Haven't had that kind of medical support since I moved for financial reasons. Most doctors around here don't have a clue what CFS is or how debilitating it can be.

I watched a documentary on the computer called I Remember Me, done by a fellow CFS patient. I looked at other CFS info. Many folks seem to recover. It has been more than a decade for me and things stay the same or get worse. I had all the shrinks examine me and all ruled out mental illness or malingering, including the "opposition's" shrinks (hence, I got disability claims allowed). It is very frustrating and sometimes scary, and isolating.

For myself, I am slagging behind. Just drooping. I know some of it was the SAD but not sure about the rest. I do know that yesterday I was feeling lonely, which is not something I typically feel. In fact, I rarely feel lonely. Not sure what to do with that other than to hang around the boards and read/post.

Hugs all around. You are all so important to me, and I look forward to coming here when I wake up each day.

Tillie, your post yesterday was the first in which you mention being ill and having challenges with fatigue and lack of energy. You always sound so active in your efforts at keeping your hoarder's hoard at bay, gardening, caring for pets,in addition to all the encouragement and support you dispense on all the boards. I hope there is someone that can give you a helping hand when you need it.

You are there with kindness for so many struggling people. Hopefully some of that flows back to you when need a lift.

Hi all, Tillie, sorry to hear you are not feeling well. Hope your headache is better. Yes, Roxie, do have SAD, grew up on rainy side of mountains, and had a tough childhood, now live on the sunny side, and a few cloudy days does affect me thanks for the reminder. tomorrow is trash pick up day so went out in garage to find stuff to put in garbage, was able to fill up the 95 gallon cart as well as the recycle cart, and they are out ready for pickup. as soon as they are picked up I will put them away then put futon out for free. already posted on craigs list for tomorrow. A guy friend is stopping by to help me get the lawn mowers down from shed in back for give away, and give me advice on how to fix saggy
cabinets, tomorrow at 9:30am. Nervous about his comments about the hoard.
Once garbage full, went through nursing tops and bottoms to give away, now in car, car is stuffed.
It was a long day, got a lot done.
Today on the radio in between songs, she said, you can tell who are your true friends are when you really need help. I cried, thinking about a close friend who said "no" when I asked her to help me for an hour. She is the one I spent all the time helping her find a place for her aunt to live, have never asked for a favor so was shocked she said no. I talked to another friend who helped me through the sadness and pain. some of it is the huge change, of letting go of my stuff that has been a buffer from the world, a false sense of security, I am grieving the loss of my stuff, and the loss of time it has consumed, purchasing, moving it, and now sorting it, feel like I have lost years of my life with stuff, and now when friends are needed, I see I only have a few real friends. this will improve, just hard this week. Will be nice tomorrow so will go to park with a river once the futon is picked up. So grateful for this site.

Kitten's phote is posted in Vet clinics, animal shelter and grocery store.

My whole house is a cat TOY.
Boxes, climbing posts, tube tunnels, paper bags, stringy things with bells attached, balls, bells, small stuffed animals, crinkly pieces of paper, empty toilet paper tubes, cat beds, hidey hole cat places, scratch trees & boxes, a cat tent, etc.....
He plays with all this.
He is extremely active for 5 whole hours then takes a brief nap and starts all over again.
I am not well and have very little energy which the kitten uses all up.
There are days when I am too sick to even get up out of bed. Some days my hoarder has to take the kitten to work with him because I can't even care for myself.

There is nothing wrong with the kitten it is just that this is kitten season and there are so many unwanted kittens everywhere.

Tillie, kittens are a handful. I suggest one of those fishing pole type toys and 10-20 minutes of vigorous play each day with it. That helps it expend the excess energy. Also, adventure toys like cardboard boxes with various holes cut out, anything it can bat around the floor, anything it can climb on (boxes again) will help. Sounds like the kitten is nearly ready to place with someone else. Perhaps a local shelter will allow you to do a "courtesy posting" with picture on their petfinder dot com listings. We do that for cats and also even dogs sometimes.

Diane, you are doing super work and doing much more than most folks every day. You deserve a break. Do you maybe have SAD? I do and a couple days of rain will bring me down, make me sad and tired. Even overcast days (multiple) can do that. I do take meds but I sometimes still get that effect.

MayMay: I meant BARE skin, not BEAR skin. LOL Love my typos sometimes. Used to laugh at work a lot. Looked like a nut but I had fun.

Karl, helps will make mistakes at times so you just have to roll with it. No they should not be tossing stuff without your approval, but ... Hey, keep up those 15 minutes, they are working for you and will get your out of a mess and help keep from remessing.

Speaking of which, I fear a backslide for myself. Little energy and I look about and see the beginnings of mess. AAAAAAARrghhh. Save myself!

Hello :)

Diane :)
ENJOY YOURSELF today! :D

Hi MayMay :)

Hi Karl :)
Good plan for getting the trash gone! :D
Sorry the helpers tossed stuff before asking you about it.
Hope you can get a start on the kitchen today.
You have really been doing GREAT! :D

Here it is almost noon and I am still not dressed.
That kitten wears me out immediately after I release him from the kennel.
Running, jumping, climbing & biting on my flesh, annoying & chasing the big cats who want to do him great bodily harm. :(

I have/had some plans for today.
First I need to take some aspirin for this tension headache.
Maybe I should get dressed?
Probably should brush my hair, wash my face and brush my teeth. ?
Kitten is sleeping now.
Maybe I will just sit here quietly for a while.

Some things probably need watering outside. Afraid to go out, the cats might hurt the kitten if I'm not here to prevent it.
He screams and rattles the gate when I put him in the kennel while the sun is shining.
At night he just goes to sleep.

One bit of good news. My hoarder got a promotion that includes working locally again and doesn't have to commute to work any more.
Somebody resigned and the position opened up.
He used to work locally but the state down sized and he was transferred rather than being let go.

O.K. it's noon now.
I will gather my thoughts that the kitten has scattered all over the room. lol

Hope everybody's day is going well.

I'm backlogged, but it's time to say something here.

After my helpers left, but before the inspection, I had a lot of trash next to the garage; I took some of it to the curb last week, but didn't have room for everything. Tonight I took more of it -- but first I looked through it, because I'd noticed a few things had gone missing. Yep -- my helpers had tossed some stuff without asking me first. It's not devastating, just annoying. They'd even tossed some food (NOT spoiled) that I'd been planning to eat. *Scowl*

I took most of the remaining trash out to the curb tonight; what's left can either go out next week, or I'll drop off bits and pieces in public trash receptacles as I go out to run errands.

I haven't been able to start in on kitchen cleanup yet. I think there's some of it that I could do on my own at any time, but getting the helper crew back wouldn't hurt, either -- as long as I've already stowed any "keepers" to make sure it won't be mistaken for trash this time.

Almost 7am here, and I've been up all night, trying to do four things at once. I'll sleep in, and maybe I can work on preliminary kitchen cleanup in the afternoon. I'll see how I feel.

Hey diane,

GOOD FOR YOU! You have been working so hard on getting rid of stuff lately. You TOTALLY DESERVE A BREAK! HAVE FUN tomorrow and Friday. :)

((HUGS))

Hey Roxie,
Now you made me want to go skinny dipping. Lol. ;)

Thanks Tillie and Dianne, I really needed those hugs and encouragement. I have done nothing but chat with friends tonight, and play computer games, and watch TV. So strange how when today was so terrible, I just knew that is all I would feel, and already I feel better. Friday, no rain, so will put free stuff out by road, already put on Craigs list that would be out there by noon on Friday, then will go to a park on river and go for a walk. I plan to meet a friend at her aunts for a quick hello tomorrow, unless she works late. Need to connect with friends and nature.

(((hugs))) Diane

You are just worn out and rainy days are not helping either.
Pamper yourself. Relaxing bath or foot soak.
Eat properly. Hot oatmeal always puts me to sleep. Have a nice snack before bedtime.
Take time off from the house. Get out somewhere.
Even just sit in a coffee house and nurse a cup.

Happy the java update fixed your problem with chat too. :D

Thanks Tillie, I am so overwhelmed and sad today, seeing how bad this room is, it is so jam packed, I actually thought "it may not be worth going on, I will never complete all this" it is so painful.
I have done 3 loads of laundry, watered all plants in the yard plus hours in the dungeon. I think I have to quit for now, I am just too sad to do anymore. This is my worst day in quite awhile. I am still not getting enough sleep, which is catching up with me, still waking up at 5 and my normal bedtime is 11, last two nights went to bed at 10, couldn't fall asleep until after 11, really need to sleep until 7am to feel good, just worn out and feel so alone today. I talked to one friend, didn't tell her much, she was on her way to a hike with her company from England. It is supposed to rain again today and tomorrow, so can't put stuff on deck to sort until Friday, don't want it in living room, and bedroom is so packed and still smell mold, sorry I sound so negative, just a very difficult day.

Diane,
Enjoy your home made soup and please don't push yourself.

Sounds like there is a lot of decisions to be made about all the stuff. That is such hard taxing work.

Regular breaks, regular meals & snacks are necessary. You know this. ;)

(((hugs)))

Good the other dog is gone, easier with just one dog. Started in big bedroom again this morning, after 3 hours reached the big closet and started pulling stuff out, it is so stuffed, probably over 50 scrubs, and don't plan to do nursing anymore other than flu shot clinics in fall, maybe last time this year. More Christmas stuff, 3 tubs of it, tons of sweaters, skirts etc.
So many decisions to make. I found a hole in wall by floor, that I had duct taped years ago, mice went right through it and now know to stuff with steel wool etc. Went to pull up carpet in there, no pad, so he glued it to boards, so will get a screwdriver and see if I can pry it up and look for mold. I am taking a long break, reached the end of my rope when I saw how much junk was crammed in there.
Bedroom and closet are lavender, I painted it 3 to 5 years ago. Closet had only one coat, so once I get everything out and figure out carpet, will probably paint it to seal in stink, after I use vinegar water wash. This is not a one day project for sure, Thanks Tillie for all your help. Sounds like you are doing great. I know I need to take it easy today. It has been cloudy and cold here too, even made a fire in wood stove this morning, cold with window open in there. Looks like the sun might peak out, if it does, I am heading outside for awhile. I made a BIG pot of soup yesterday on top of everything else, so have such a treat to eat today, haven't been eating well for a few days, so plan to change that today.

Good morning :)

The weather has gotten strange again.
This morning is cold! And it probably won't get much warmer all day. LOL

My plans for today...
Do cat chores, already fed them.
Water the lilac hedge.
Cook some food then clean the kitchen.

Then I plan to do some work on my doll house. :D
The 4 main rooms are all furnished. There is a kitchen, bathroom, parlor, and reading room.
There is no bedroom because I never had any furniture for one.
I found a tiny bed so now I can make the loft area under the slanted roof into a bedroom. :)
Yesterday I put up wall paper in that space.
Had a tiny electric lamp so I wired it in. Made a pretty lamp shade for it with multi colored glass beads.
Have a tiny treadle sewing machine and the teeny dollhouse dollhouse in the new room.
Planning to make a mattress and covers for the bed out of some silk fabric scraps.

It is fun having a place of my own even if it is very small. ;)

Hi Kara and Roxie :)

Tillie and Diane, congratulations on how much you are being able to accomplish!

MsyMsy what the heck is a Mens Shed?

Oh, and skinny dipping is the most wonderful feeling...all that water slipping by your bear skin. I grew up Finnish-American where we'd take a sauna then go jump in the cold lake. Youza. It was wonderful

Yesterday I got the big laundry bin down to the street for weekly pick. And I brushed my teeth. Three out of four days now. yah!

LMAO! No, I've never gone skinny dipping before. I'm kind of shy when it comes to doing stuff like that. Lol. :)

Do you also wear a bathing suit when you go skinny dipping? lol ;D

Thanks diane! :)

Tillie,

OMG! That is exactly what I do when I give Cory and Matt a bath. I just get in the shower with them. I always wear a swimsuit though. Lol. :)

My boyfriend always makes fun of me for it. Lol. He'll always say stuff like, "why do you always wear a swimsuit whenever you bathe Matt and Cory? Who cares if they see you naked. They're just dogs." Lol. :)