Hi Lila!

Welcome!

I call myself Subclinical because I have a lot of manageable but not officially diagnosed issues that characterize depression, OCD, and autism. I've never felt a need to talk to anyone who would be qualified to make an official diagnosis.

And of course, I've got a whole constellation of hoarding issues.

I'm 52, one amazing and patient Dh, three grown and moved out kids, two kid in laws, two "extra" kids, one heartgrandson, and one blood grandson.

I live on a farm and teach part time.

I fully identify with your bedroom of boxes.

So friends, today Dh and I have been working on Boxing Day. I am not going to identify all the things because that leads to regret, but Dh is loading the truck as I decide and will drive it to donate this evening. It includes a shelf, a chair, a giant plastic bag of linens and four paper grocery bags of assorted so far.

He is proud of me.

There have also been some items claimed by my kids - I took pictures of a few things I thought they might want and messaged them.

Ok, back to work!

hello,

I am new on this thread and was invited from the other thread where I posted a month ago. I am overwhelmed and so frustrated. I thought I would just do an intro here first, then spend some time reading this thread. Then maybe I can start asking for help on specific things. I sure need it and regular people are too judgmental to ask. I think you all probably "get it" so I will try here. I will try and help you all, too. Would love a little intro on who is most active and your stories.

I am 51 and I have five kids. Four of them are adults, three of those have moved out and have their own families or lives but I see most of my kids regularly and the clutter has not gotten in the way of our relationships thank god. When they were young my house was always a wreck but I did keep in clean enough, and the main living areas clear enough that they always could have friends over and seem normal but "lived in." When people would come over, I always just rushed and threw all the clutter (and trash, even) into boxes or laundry baskets and shoved them into my bedroom. So it would look relatively normal (except for the kitchen "bar" counter which is always piled with papers and stuff). But my bedroom became and still is a storage unit and I hate that.

I've lived in my house for 24 years. I've cleared a lot out, had yard sales, donated tons so I don't know how I still have so much. The good part is I did a purge and yard sale this summer so I now have some space and empty rubbermaid tubs in my garage if I want to move things from my living space. It's not temperature controlled though so I don't put some things out there. Plus it's not easy to get to. So I have tubs of photos, tools, "special things" etc in the house, everywhere.

I am married but it's a broken marriage for years. Truth be told I posted about my hoarder husband on this forum a few years ago because I was so angry at him. He still hoards up his bedroom (separate from mine, downstairs), a storage room, half the garage and now his hoard has taken over the downstairs family room. It is just so depressing because he won't change or throw out ANYTHING. But, maybe I can fix my bedroom. That would make me feel better.

Thanks for having me.

Good morning!

I bought the truearth. Unscented. And I still like them!

If you get the "years supply" you get a discount and they come in a nice little corrugated box (in the US cardboard is recycled more efficiently than paper, but I will reuse it for kids to pack projects to take home) which takes up more space than the envelope, but never falls off the shelf and is super easy to get the sheets out of.

Right now they give you an extra 10% off with your first order if you give them your email, and they emailed me once. Also, they sent me an unannounced surprise gift with my order, but I don't know if they still do that.

I prefer Canada for their wage and environmental laws.

It's going to be cold and cloudy today, but I will try to do some outside stuff because later in the week it will rain.

Mr. kitty says hello.

Lovely to hear that the mulled wine, etc was a hit! Yay for new traditions!

That's sweet about the baby's footprints! I like the golf ball tradition and the dog's role in it.

What a relief to get my donations out. Then I actually drove to a grocery store and I stocked up on things. These things are still in my car. Cat food and juice and a big pack of toilet paper. They didn't have the cranberry juice I like. But still it was good to get my stuff.

SubC which laundry sheets did you buy? Do you still like them? I have two packs left of my year's worth and am looking to switch to truEarth because they are manufactured in Canada and not China. I've been using EarthBreeze and I adore them but was a bit disappointed that they were coming from China. I'm trying to buy a bit closer to home/carbon footprint/shipping/etc.

Washed my face, fed my cat. Fell asleep at 7 and now ready for bed.

Oh my Tatoulia,

What an odd way to run a business!

Maybe she is just overwhelmed by everything.

I'm glad you got your goodwill dropped off, and it is lovely that you will have your cleaning fairies for new years.

I also think it's great that you have such a nice, supportive and communicative work environment.

We had a really good time with the kids.

The cookies and the mulled wine were a hit, and we decided we should do them again next year - except inside the house by the woodstove, with my son and ddil!

Dd2 brought us a bottle of wine, a big candy bar, and a gift certificate for a pizza at our favorite place.

Dd1 and sil gave us a footprint plaque of Bean's feet (which I helped make - lol!) and a hand carved stirring stick dsil made of a piece of cherry from the farm, and some golf balls for dh. The golf balls are a tradition - DD's dog has been trained to find them. They live across from a golf course (not as fancy as it sounds) and dd and the dog pick the good lost balls up all year when they go for walks, and then wash them and fill a stocking with them for Dh.

Tonight I am going to just relax and tomorrow I will return to putting things in order. I have the whole week off.

Okay! I got all my bags to Goodwill! Very happy about that. I even dropped off the bag that had stuff I was going to consign. I'm nit going back to my consignment shop until,Ed's I need something. One of the women there has scolded me twice. I don't need it. The first time she asked me how I was holding up in the pandemic and I said that I've been doing well but it's been hard on my mother and she launched into soldiers in WWII and no one even knew if their loved ones were alive or dead. Again, she asked me. I didn't bring it up. Last time I said, I'm happy with my selection (referring to a ceramic delft pitcher I'd bought) and she said, oh no, this election is not over. Not by a long shot. You wait and see. (I'm not taking political sides; I just don't want to be scolded)

So I'm done with them. Would rather donate than sell something there.

I will have so much garbage by the time tomorrow rolls around. Missing a pickup has been a problem.

So it's time to find more stuff to donate.

Hello everyone!

I understand your husband's fatigue, SubC. BF and I talk about it all the time about how now isn't the time to get lazy. I like how you put it with the bear! Thank you!

The bonfire sounds lovely!

Today I will hopefully get to goodwill. I have so much to donate and it would be a good feeling of relief. Just getting it done and out, making more room in my car for be next batch. In fact, I think I'll go make my breakfast now with a plan to leave for the car in 1-1/2 hours. Wish me well, I really want to do this.

Oh, I contacted my cleaners to ask them to come this week instead of waiting for the following week. Just to spruce it up for New Year's Eve. They will come on Wednesday.

A lot of changes at work and interesting discussion from Senior VP last week. There will be a role for me but in he meantime they are going to be inundating me with work while they make department changes. She wanted to make sure that I don't get frustrated that they can't just elevate me immediately. Their proposed ideas for reshaping my unit and aligning it with other units makes enormous sense and I appreciated the phone call. Two higher ups have contacted me on this and I'm grateful for all of it. So I expect to be swamped. So grateful to be home while working through it.

My ultimate goal is to make enough to have cleaners once a week.

SHOUT OUT TO TILLIE! love you so much!

Good morning

🎶 on the 288th day if corona, my true love said to me 🎶

"I am just sick of this."

He does not want to deal with any more socially distanced visiting from our kids, he has no interest in giant zoom calls with his family, he hates being home, and he does not want to hear one more conversation about masks.

I let him read all day and made cookies. I wisely did not point out that "you don't stop wrestling a bear when you're tired, you stop when the bear is tired."

So, today it will be in the 40's and we're having the bonfire we didn't have on solstice with mulled wine and cookies and two of our daughters and sil, and the baby we aren't allowed to hold because he spent Christmas with his daddy's family in a house.

CM, you are wise to recognize your limits and be realistic about your situation.

Tatoulua, I am glad you had such a good christmas. It's lovely to have a gift you will use and enjoy all the time.

Warm thoughts to Tillie, holding you in my heart.

And shout out to Emily and Tessa! Tessa, how did the inspection go? Crossing my fingers for you!

Hello everyone!

We had a great Christmas. I may have mentioned how BF loves to shop and buy gifts and this year he worked all day everyday. So I told him something that I really wanted for Christmas and would never buy for myself. He was relieved. So I got my Bose noise canceling headphones and I love them.

He kept apologizing for not having more gifts for me. I am thrilled with what I got. I am so happy with the headphones. . Will help me in multiple ways. Listening to music, relaxation tapes, answering work calls, using for zoom calls, etc.

This was by far the most relaxed Christmas Eve and Christmas we have ever had. We had no timetable, no rush. Didn't have to be somewhere with other people and getting things decorated, etc. So easy being just the two of us. We could talk or not talk. We generally have Christmas Eve at his house with mom and his neighbors. So on Christmas eve we left gifts for his neighbors and they had a package for me. We were able to run errands and just stay calm. Droooed off gifts at mom's, etc.

Yesterday was also really relaxed and calm. We had dinner here again and it was tasty. No rush. No nothing, so nice! We dropped off things for people, pies, cards, etc. so much fun. We saw mom from about 12 feet away.

So honestly, I had the best time in a long time.

I have tons of laundry to do. So I m doing it and feeling really good about it. Such a joy for me.

I realize I worded that wrong last night, LOL. We wouldn't have tried to take in all 13 of the rabbits, just 1 or 2 - it was one of those "Can several people in the club each take one or two?" type deals.

But I'm still glad not to have to try and squeeze in even one extra thing around this overstuffed house and schedule. I am happy to take some time to help the bunnies offsite, pet them and love them and play with them and all of that. But we recognize that we are already overwhelmed.

Good morning! Happy Boxing Day!

CM, I'm glad you had a good Christmas and things are settled with your priest.

I'm very glad you didn't try to take in 13 rabbits!

We had good visits with our kids and my parents. I never got up with my cousin. I did finish reading my first book - an autobiography, and read through my second (it's a pottery book, so lots of how-to information and ideas, not really a "sit and read" book.)

Today I'm going to do some baking for tomorrow and catch back up on dishes and work on some general tidying and sorting out. I mentioned boxing day to Dh - who is generally all for it, and he said "we didn't really get a bunch of stuff we need to make room for."

His present to me was an antique soapstone "sled warmer" we put it on the woodstove last night and then tucked it in the foot of the bed, and it was lovely and warm all night! I got him a pepper grinder.

Our daughter in law made us masks and cute little hanging bags that will come in very useful, and we got some consumables from their area.

MERRY CHRISTMAS

Hi, Tessa, welcome back!

I'll have to make a better post later. Just a summary for now. Hope everyone's having a nice holiday including Tillie who I also hope continues to recuperate more and more.

Last night I went to Christmas Eve Mass, roommate came along, it was beautiful. Our new priest seems very settled in and happy, and we are thankful to have him. And hope that'll be all the changes for a good long while!

Having a more relaxed time at home today, hoping for the best on a new "situation" that came up, namely that the wind blew shingles off the roof day before yesterday. Only two sets, and I climbed up and could see no obvious gaping holes.

The sewer line business may begin to move forward tomorrow... hesitant to say too much as if I might jinx it.

And we almost took in foster bunnies. There is a guy in town who is disabled and his son took off leaving 13 or so rabbits that he was stupid enough to think he'd get rich selling... anyway, they are in terrible living conditions and the rescue wants to get them out of there asap.

Luckily a board member has come up with a space to house them. As much as I love bunnies, I had felt some apprehension re taking on more to deal with right now in our insane little corner of the world. So we can just help by buying food and toys for them, I can groom them, help set up the pens in the habitat, etc.

If/when life settles into the regular routine, of course I still have much to do with my catching up and my decluttering.

Good morning,

Merry? Christmas.

I slept late this morning. First Christmas in 53 years. I kept waking up and then thinking "there's no reason to get up" and going back to sleep.

We have snow on the ground, and the lights on the tree, and a fire in the woodstove. Dh put on some Christmas music, but there are no breakfast pastries to go with the coffee - I didn't bother. And no stockings.

At some point Dh and I will open our presents to each other, and later we'll call ds and ddil and open the ones from them.

I'll finish reading my new books.

I'm sure I'll call my mom today, and I'll probably try my cousin again (she's the closest thing I have to a sister - I don't know if I told you guys about growing up with her?) when I was a kid, Christmas Day always ended with the two of us on a loveseat next to our grandparents' fireplace, opening mostly matching presents, and then playing, and eating too much, and when we were very little, falling asleep curled back up on that love seat together. The loveseat is in her recroom now.

Anyway, I hope you guys have a good day.

Dd2 has rescheduled because of the temperature, so we'll have the girls here on Sunday and I think I'll do my Boxing Day tomorrow after all.

The coop door is fixed and the hens are all moved in with the big senior rooster - plenty of space and Fox proof.

Dh also helped me fix the hinges on the boy rabbit's door so it isn't crooked anymore.

I have the dishwasher running, I am as caught up as I want to be on the laundry, and I am having a hot cocoa to warm up. Then I'll do a little more tidying and go add more bedding to the coop floor. I was too cold once the chickens were moved.

The snow lady is stashed under a table in the basement in her styrofoam coffin.

Tatoulia, I'm glad you had a good time with your friend.

Wow a lot going on there, SubC! The snowman is pretty upsetting. I think you need to keep it. Ugh.

My friend left this morning. We had a nice time last night. It was so nice to get some solid girlfriend time in. Now I have to wash her linens, etc. I wish she could've stayed for Christmas but she needed to get the rental car back and then she leaves for Japan on the 27th or 28th. She went out all day walking with a different friend (the one who took her cat) so I was a full day of work for myself.

Okay I need to figure things out here. Will write more later.

Good morning.

I finished bagging up the feed sacks. It made things look a little better.

I refilled the rat cafe because I have seen some new signs of rat activity.

I marked the rest of my blueberries.

And I partly cleaned out a stall - laying down cardboard around my farm bell and covering it with manure. My goal is to put a round herb garden around the base of the bell this spring. I got as far as a half circle.

My cousin didn't answer her phone (as usual)

It's supposed to be bitterly cold here the next three days.

We opened presents on zoom with Dh parents last night.

I got two books and a set of glass measuring cups that I asked for, a very cool hat that mil had the logo dd2 designed for our farm embroidered on, a beautiful little cutting board handmade by fil from trees felled on their farm (he is a skilled furniture maker and used scraps of all the woods left from projects) and two things I don't want - a grey t-shirt with a picture and a slogan on it that I know mil thought was cute, but is worn by a subgroup of my 4h community that I do not want to be identified with, and a handmade by mil gift.

Dh is happy to take the t-shirt - it's unisex, and he does not get involved in 4h. The handmade gift is harder. It is a snow-woman made of poly quilt batting and felt, identical to one mil made herself from a good housekeeping pattern in the 70's. She made one for "each of us" (daughter and dils) because "two of you asked for my snowman and you can't have it! But I couldn't remember which two." (Hint: maybe not the woman who has way too much stuff and tries really hard to keep man made materials out of her life) it's 18" tall and arrived in a styrofoam cooler for safe storage.

I told dh "I don't know why she gave this to me and not you, it's from your childhood." And he replied "because I've never liked it. You can get rid of it."

I can't get rid of it - she worked really hard on it and she will come to my house at Christmas time again when all this is over. I have to put it out. If I get rid of it, she will be hurt.

Today Dh is going to help me repair the door to the old chicken coop so that I can put the hens in it. They are currently trapped in a too small pen because a fox ate three of them.

I don't know what else.

So it looks like I'm going to be fighting thus in small chunks.

I'm trying to complete lityle jobs at the moment, instead of starting big ones - even though big ones really need to be done!

I also crossed with Tatoulia kadt time, so Tatoulua, I want to say I'm glad things went well with your friend. I'm sure you'll pass her compliments on to the cleaning fairies.

I rolled up and bagged about 1/3 of the empty feed bags that were lying around the barn (these feedbags are the bane of my existence, but I can't bring myself to pay 2x for feed in paper bags when I'm so happy with the nutrition science behind my feed and the other feed is marketing environmental impact, not animal health.)

I swept half the little concrete pad in the barn, I put a shovel away, and I picked up two stakes with ribbons on them that were lying on the floor of the barn and hammered them in next to some small blueberry bushes that my husband theoretically knows are there, but will otherwise probably forget and run over before they leaf out in the spring.

That took 30 minutes. Now taking a water break - more for stress than hydration - and planning to go back out for another 45 minutes and then call my cousin.

Hi Tessa! Welcome back!

I am so sorry you have been struggling with depression, but proud of you for being here!

I hope your day gets you to a good result on the inspection!

I am struggling to get on my big girl pants today. It is unseasonably warm and there is so much to be done in the barn! But I used the sunny part of the day picking up around the house, starting laundry, getting feed, and taking care of some things with my bank (please hold...) it was good use of my time because I saved myself $65, but now it is overcast and I want to stay inside.

But, I am going to take you as I spiration and go do SOMETHING. Hopefully when I come back you will have posted an update with your success (not to pressure you - I know some days "success" is "I put real clothes on")

You can do it, Tess! Backsliding is part of the process! Cheering you on, today and everyday!

Quick check in. All went well with friend. The cats didn't do too well together but boy what a sweetheart her cat is! She has taken her cat to a different friend's house (part of the plan all along) and I'm just working away. No issues using our masks, wiping down surfaces, etc. all going well.

She kept complimenting how clean my house is (and not in comparison, just in general) and today she said she's never seen a cleaner bathroom. THAT IS SO NICE. I told her I have cleaners so she doesn't think it's me.

Hi everybody! Guess who's back!!!! I hope everybody has been staying safe and healthy. I have spent most of this year in one level of depression or another. Still am. It's been a really rough year emotionally and physically. Unfortunately, I've had a little bit of a backslide. Not nearly as bad as it was, but still, I have some work to do. And, surprise!!!! Emergency inspection tomorrow. Could be a good thing. It's giving me a reason to get out of bed today. Well, better get busy. Have a good day all! I will have a lot of reading/catching up to do here during my breaks!

Thinking of everyone.

Emily, how are you doing?

I had a great day with Bean. Sent Dd home with most (4) of her Christmas presents - which she insisted on opening in front of us on the porch. Since I got to hold bean longer it was fine with me.

We saved two for when her sister is here, since I had two for dsil and two for Bean (Dd got more gifts because hers weren't expensive)

I sent her dolly too.

Dh put up my outside lights today!

I think I will be caught up on the dishes when I go to bed - just have to unload and partly load.

CM, I recognized your rabbit and your greeting. I hope they made Tillie smile.

Hopefully everything will go well with your cousin and it will just be one of those odd things and benign.

Tatoulua, you sound like you have everything well planned out. I would love a queen sheet on a twin bed. I am a restless sleeper and drive Dh crazy stripping the bed - there is never enough to tuck in. I use king sized blankets on our queen bed.

I hope you get your trash out.

I had a good day. I had my fire and finished burning my things just as it started raining.

I did some planning, made Irish tea bread, exchanged emails with a parent, cleaned off that shelf I had been avoiding and did some more clean up work in the scullery. I also sorted through my in/stash basket and recycled a bunch of stuff. There was stuff in there from 2017. It's not cleared, but it's no longer overflowing.

I chatted with my mom for an hour - I opened her last package - it was another puppet of a turtle. and I rode the exercise bike for 45 minutes.

Dh made me a yummy dinner, and best of all I got a surprise call from Dd who wants me to pick up Bean tomorrow morning! His dolly is all dry and clean and ready for me to dress him back up in his little corduroys and flannel shirt and hand him over.

Dh and I also had a good talk about our goals and plans for the next year. It's a little hard because he still doesn't know if he will keep his job, but some things are pretty certain.

I did get some sad news today - my uncle (not blood or law but my grandmother helped raise him) died yesterday. It was not unexpected as he had aggressive cancer and had been holding his own wake one friend at a time for several months. One of my blood uncles and my cousin were able to sit through the night with him at the hospital and say a last goodbye.

But to end on a happier note - tomorrow - Bean!

Listen to your body and mind, Cm and know that you need to coast right now.

My cleaners came today. My house is very clean. My friend arrives tomorrow. I did the two loads of laundry I wanted to do. The pillows I ordered for my friend have come in. I've washed her sheets. I couldn't find the top sheet for her twin bed, so she will have to use a queen sized top sheet.

I really should run out and get more cat food for the two cats. Hers and mine. My little bud went through a lot with the cleaners here today.

I just found out that tomorrow Am is our only trash and recycling pick up for the week. I am grateful that the collectors have Christmas off but it will be tough going here in the city for a week. I took out three recycling bags and one trash bag. I have a very heavy trash bag that needs to go out now.

I am exhausted. I have a semi important meeting in the am so I have to be showered and dressed and I'll need to put some makeup on.

Dressed from the top up.

I really should go run errands but I'd like to just hop into bed.

I may just take the heavy garbage out and then lay down. I can get Perrier tomorrow. I have a department meeting at 4 and my friend is going to try to get here between 3 and 4 tomorrow so I don't have to exit and let her and the kitty in.

O-kay... the site changed my bunny's eyes from circles to question marks, and that should read

HI TILLIE

below, but since we can't edit, I have to do this.

Happy Solstice day

This is a thing I saw on Facebook - you copy the bunny and change the emoji item he is holding to whatever you want.

(\_/)
( ?_?)
/ >🌞

For me, and for my roommate, the psychological boost is tremendous, even if the days only lengthen by about a minute.

Tatoulia, I'm sure those Bose headphones will be lovely to have. SubC, that's cool that Bean can inherit his momma's doll.

I'm starting into my pattern of coasting until Christmas is over, mostly. Will wrap the few little things I got for roommate.

My cousin 8 months older than me was to have had surgery today to remove a suspicious lung module. She never smoked or partied very much, married fairly young and had her kids, and has been in good health, eats lots of vegetables, etc. The only thing I know of lifestyle wise that could've had an influence was she used to sunbathe a lot when we were teenagers; I don't know if UV damage could cause something without there first having been melanoma (which is too scary to think about, but she didn't mention any). So I pray and hope to hear that everything went okay and that the growth was gotten in time, etc.

H I T I L L I E
❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🖤🤎🤍💗🦡🐇🐈🐈‍⬛

Good morning and happy solstice!

I got up early this morning to restart the fire from last night's coals and light candles.

Some years I would have been out by a bonfire, but it is cold and wet and I am getting older. So I settled for walking outside in my pajamas for a few minutes to give thanks for another year. I will have the bonfire later.

Tillie, you are on my mind. Sometimes I have students who are doing all they can to log on and they can't face the camera or the microphone. I ask them "if you can, I really need you to just turn your mike on long enough to say "hi" so I know you can hear me."

If you are reading, I really wish you would just type "Hi" or anything. I'm wishing you blessings in the new year.

WTG SubC! Great work! I'm so proud of you. I love your daughter. And the little doll drying by the wood stove!

I had coffee with Bf when I saw him so I'm A little hyped up. I had a nearly three hour zoom session with friends and we did our gingerbread houses. Four for me this year. This time I used only gum drops and marshmallows and other things that I'll never eat. I'm not sure I'll even keep the house. It was more for the experience with my friends

I'm doing laundry now. Washing up a bathrobe and slippers for when my friend is here. I'm also running the dishwasher. Just once for me, SubC!

I have two bags of recycling and one bag of garbage. All ready to go out. You did a good job today SubC with getting those things together. All of my gifts are wrapped and the stockings are done. I am awaiting the oil painting of Tigger. I bought a bunch of stuff for mom to cheer her up. A pretty plaid tote bag that zips, a sparkly bracelet, some Burts Bees body and hand lotions, that sort of stuff. A calendar (Edward Gory) and Monet placemats. BF will give her the last two items, with a little envelope with some money. I also got BF a Swiss army watch. He loves watches and I figured that would be nice. I may have mentioned this but his gifts last year were all tickets to events that were cancelled.

Every year he buys me beautiful gifts. Even on the no gifts years. And this year, I know he's struggling because he doesn't have any time off from work and the stores aren't open as late as previous years. And he can't even supplement my gift with massage and spa treatments since nothing is open. So I did something uncomfortable. I told him what I want. I told him it's something that I won't buy for myself, that I've wanted since March and that I will never, ever buy. I want the Bose noise cancelling headphones. I told him I don't care what model and I don't care what color. I can use them for my work meetings instead of the cheap headset, I can use them for my phone calls, I can listen to music and meditation tapes, etc. so I know what I'm getting. He understands my hatred of amazon and he told me to get the model I want (I had given him the option of the cheaper model and the one I really wanted, knowing he will always go a step ahead). So I went on the Bose website and ordered them. He told me to act surprised, which I will even though it's just the two of us.

We are having work done in our tiny laundry room so no washing on Tuesday and Wednesday. I'm not thrilled with having the construction work done so close the Christmas but I know I can use that laundry service if I need to.

I didn't get the cards put away. But the hallway is almost back in place. The sound of the dishwasher at night is so comforting.

I'll go get my things out of the laundry and head off to bed. Goodnight dear hearts.

Tillie signal us when you can. No pressure. I just want to make sure that you know that I love you. I really do.

I did not find very many things to donate, only a few, but I also created half a bag of recycling, cleaned off the other shelf and the floor in the back hall and wrapped the Christmas presents (not very many this year - most were shipped directly and we are keeping things small. Dh and I are giving each other one gift. - he knows what his is 😕)

And I did a load of laundry plus I washed the cloth doll I made for Dd when she was little. She said "don't make him another one - clean mine up and he can have it." So there is a little naked stuffed baby drying by the woodstove.

And I found a few worn/broken natural material and obsolete paper things that can be symbolically (and literally) consigned to the fire tomorrow.

I got one bag up to my car to go to goodwill. I've gotten part of my hallway put back together. I believe I am done with sending Christmas cards and will put the remainders away. I didn't blast through them all but I made a dent.

Last night I washed the comforter for my friend's visit. Also I saw two of BF's friends today; wife is a doctor and husband is in med school and we discussed protocols for friend's visit and the wife was on board. So I think we are good. Their dog was good friends with Tigger. He even helped search for him when the cat was missing. Poor doggie.

I'm sorry about the passing of so many people, SubC. Very discouraging and sad.

Let me know how you are doing, everyone. And waving to Tillie

Cm! I am so sorry about the knee! It's always something. Keep doing what you can. We believe in you!

SubC I'll start a big cleanup with you today. Music on.

Tillie I love you so much.

Good morning.

Tomorrow is the solstice. I am bemused by all the people who are suddenly embracing the symbolism of the holiday.

Me, I'm going to have my fire and meditate on closure for the last year and my goals and intentions for the new one.

I'm thinking that I might at least start my "big cleanout" today. I'm kind of in the mood for it and it would help give the new year more of a fresh start feeling (my new year, the astronomical one, not the western calendar one - my "holiday season" sort of starts with the one and ends with the other.)

Also crossed with CM.

Your poor knee! I'm glad it wasn't worse.

I am hoping your sewer holds on!

There are also things about this social distancing that I'd like to hold onto, but I do not feel at all ambivalent about ending the pandemic!

I called my parents yesterday. My high school English teacher and my brother's kindergarten teacher and her husband all died.

One of my mom's best friends is in the hospital, but with complications of diabetes, not covid. This is not a good time to be in the hospital with diabetes!

So, a total of three loads of laundry done today. Either hanging to dry or put away!

Ran the dishwasher twice total.

Took some pottery stuff out from the dining porch to the studio.

Other stuff I already said.

Also, I have restarted an exercise program. Riding the stupid exercise bike again.
40 min Tuesday
30 minutes Wednesday
45 minutes Thursday
45 minutes yesterday
45 minutes today.

So far I have managed to enforce not watching videos unless I am riding the bike.

It's not actually helping yet.

Hi, having a quiet and not too productive Saturday but it's okay, I've lowered my expectations till after the holidays.

Yesterday was semi-crazy to very crazy as the day went on. Poor roommate was scrambling to finish up knitted gifts and I helped wrap. She needed some files from her workplace and I rode out, sat in the car while she went in.

Thankfully the building has opened an entrance closer to her office so she didn't have to go through the whole thing. It's a former high school turned administrative building, one story, feels miles long, and had been a Covid test site but I'm not sure if it still is. Not someplace to linger, though.

We stopped by the bunny house to pick up our hay order (everyone masked). Then back home where the trash pickup had taken place and the guys had flipped the dumpster into the flower bed. So I scrambled out and was hurrying to push it back up the driveway, caught my toe on a nasty place where the concrete sticks up, and went sprawling onto my knee and heel of my hand.

Those moments of shock, damage assessment, and hoping not to have to go to the ER with the pandemic, but then I realized with relief that it wasn't too bad. Threw a bit of monkey wrench in my plans though. The knee was stiff so I iced it while she went to the post office. It's less swollen today, coming along.

Later roommate was struggling trying to find documents for work that no one had known they'd need to look up again. By the time evening came, things finally settled down and we watched Dark Shadows. We need to watch some Christmas shows too in the next few days.

This year we're off schedule, disoriented. Wonder what it'll be like when people get vaccinated and time starts flowing normally again. I'm ambivalent since in some ways I've liked having fewer set obligations.

And the city people still haven't flagged the yard, plus our handyman has a friend who is dying. So who knows about the sewer line. Just hope it doesn't bust during an ice storm sometime. We had more earthquakes here today. I felt them. The gas company may again be having to check for leaks, so that could cause delays with flagging. I hope not though.

Never a dull moment.

SubC I'm glad your "housekeeper"?showed up! I do understand what you mean about just having your husband still. It gives you room to do what you need to do and to do it in a way that makes sense to you.

I can't find a bean emoji.

I am wrapping up gifts and puttering while my very quiet electrician is here. He is a joy. He just does his work and as my friend's husband, there is no creepiness.

Winter is just hard.

The housekeeper showed up thus morning and started the dishes, laundry, and woodstove. Then she moved all the school materials to the dining porch and picked up the living room, so Dh has agreed that we can put off firing her another week.

Dh has had a long week and is very tired and reading a book by the fire. It's funny, it actually helps me when he does stuff like that, because usually he is so hustle-bustle and efficient I feel like I am struggling to keep up, but when he us still, I feel like I am accomplishing so much, like "look at all the stuff I got done while you were reading!"

More update later.

🐰for CM
🐱for Tatoulia
🐻 for Tillie because I hope she is hibernating safe and snug
And 👋 to Emily because I don't know what critter to send you.

SubC my house definitely shows the face of depression. I need to pull it together. I am unhappy with it and I know that neatening up will help. I will check back in a bit.

Day one of winter break.

Last night I made two lists - one that is just the daily routine stuff so that I don't forget it now that my daily routine will be changed (like my vitamins and checking the water level in the fountain) and one of things that I want to get done today - which I'm sure we all know is long enough to overfill my two week break - lol!

Then I went to bed and slept 9.5 hours!

Mr. kitty and I have been sitting around lazily drinking coffee, reading and having tummy rubs, but he just announced that it was time to go outside, and I think I'm going to see what I can do about getting this house in order. The last three days have not been too good. The housekeeper has not shown up at all!

I had to go back and reread my post.

I left out the messy hard parts - my inlaws are just icing.

Today was pretty good. Such an odd start to Christmas break. My last class was with my teens who were terribly goofy today. I eventually gave up on them getting anything done and basically just bantered with them while the few motivated ones worked independently. At the usual clean up time, one of them asked "is class over?" And I said "yes. Class was over 20 minutes ago if you didn't notice."

I will miss them, but enjoy a little downtime - although I'll probably spend part of break on school stuff.

I need to clean up my "classroom" and run my dishwasher and do my evening chores.

My girls are coming to socially distant visit in the barn on Boxing Day, so I will have to pick a different day tatoulia.

I hope that things go very well with your friend.

SubC! That was a messy evening, esp after slogging through a massive headache.

People are, in my opinion, making this pandemic and safety very complicated. Whether their reasoning is valid or not, isn't the point. What is upsetting is that the gatherers are making life so hard on us social-distancers. I am so disappointed by how many people think that any holiday is more important than safety, and how they feel free to belittle and argue with people who are choosing a different level of safety. It should be, "im having 14 people over," "cool, I'll sit this year out," "We will save a seat for you next year." And it goes both ways; I am furious with people's choices to gather but I just sit it out.

SubC I have an artist friend who made me a mug for Christmas. I've been drinking out of it everyday since I got it. It's wonderful.

The end of school will bring up a lot of emotions. Just be good to yourself.

I am nervous about having my friend here for two nights. But I'm setting up a very strict protocol for us. She is very neat and clean and if either of us gets a little nervous, I'll book her a room at the Westin. I might even be able to get her a room at the Four Seasons, which I know she would enjoy.

Tillie, SubC, Tess, Joan, Emily, Anony, Diane, Dianne, LR, Bitsy, Roxie, we are here and we are thinking of you.

Good morning.

I had a good school day but a rough evening yesterday. Life is messy and hard sometimes.

Today is the last school day before break. All pottery classes. Done by 2:30. (Might end up letting everybody go at two, might end up hanging out after class - last night the kids didn't want to leave.)

My inlaws will be visiting both Dh brother's family and his sister's family for Christmas. In two states that are in the top ten for severity of outbreak, in households that include three college students and a high school senior whose parents think "you can't not let him see his friends." Mil is disappointed that they won't see us because her son married a crazy person.

I'll check back later after I actually do something.

Good morning!

Tatoulia, I hope you are safe and snug. I'm glad you got mom her things before the snow. I like that your cat is your nice thing. Have you heard anything about when your mom might get her vaccine?

CM, I hope that today will be a peaceful break after all of your struggles. Really, they must get that permit taken care of!

Tillie, I am still thinking if you every day and hoping you are resting and taking care of yourself. We know you are tough and independent, but please don't wait too long to call Nate if you need help.

Hello to Emily! We don't know where you are, so if you are in the snow, I wish you also safe and cozy - and a snow day! And if you are anywhere in the states - stay safe!

Yesterday I woke up with a headache from sleeping on my neck funny and holding my muscles tense. Dh tried to rub it out for me, but it didn't work. It was one of those headaches that starts to make you nauseous after a while....

Fortunately it was a very good school day, so I had positive distractions and was able to work through. No more Wednesday classes until January. Today will be my last 2020 day with my tu/th kids.

Then supposedly we have only one more week online in January. I am not holding my breath! My state is doing just awful, and my part of the state is in the leading edge of the awful.

I opened another of my mom's little packages. This one was a thrift store find - an adorable little leopard seal puppet. I'm thinking about submitting puppetry for a class again next year, but wether I do or not, it will be very fun to use with bean in a few months. It's so soft!

I didn't accomplish much else with my headache, but fortunately it is gone this morning. Have to dig out again today.

Stay safe all!

Big snow coming! I'm going to take a brief nap. I took my recycling out to the bin this afternoon. I've done some more decorating. Cat is asleep by the fireplace and I'm streaming traditional Christmas choral music. Doesn't get much better than this.

Cm! No wonder you are frazzled! You have so much going on! And truly, that's got to be aggravating to hear someone else's zoom call. Can you hear just your roommate or everyone in the call? I wear a headset for better clarity.

You have been through so much with vet and can and sewer. And it all sounds irritating and expensive. I'm glad that you and roommate were able to forgive each other.

Tonight I got my wreaths and I have now hung them. I also had to do quite a bit of shopping for mom as she is having some personal problems and she is out of personal products. I was able to get everything she needed at Cvs and then I went to Whole Foods to get her milk. I got my wreaths there. I also picked up a bouquet of red and white roses which I just finished cutting down and putting in different little vases to decorate a bit. BF met me at the market and drove me honey which I really appreciated. Hopefully the people at mom's have taken her stuff up to her. She's been very ill. Stomach. The usual.

I'm thinking of going to bed early tonight. I've been staying up too late and I'm exhausted during the day. I'll think about that.

Sending love to you all. We are expecting no snow in the next two days, which should be enjoyable. All of my meager shopping is done. And almost everything is wrapped at this point. I just need a gift bag for mom's gift. I need to find my stocking so I can fill it. Mom and BF got little printed cloth gift bags for stockings this year. Already filled (no candy, just little gifts of hand cream and for BF a wood model/puzzle. Very cute.

Bits and pieces

It's snowing here, and I'm about to head out into it just to get away from another of roommate's jibber jabber Zoom work meetings. They have been making her have so many of them lately. 😑 I may come back after awhile though, and put on my earbuds and crank up Tchaikovsky's Nutcracker or Josh Groban, or some other Christmas music.

My own doctor appointment Zoom is tomorrow, then I don't have anything else to remember at a certain time, I don't think.

Got my van back yesterday. Could've been worse, I suppose. We are still waiting for the city people to flag the yard for sewer line replacement. It's been ridiculous. We're on borrowed time with the temporary fix.

The cats went to the vet this morning. Preparing for that has been an ordeal that began about 24 hours ago and included such fun highlights as spilling water from the cat drinking fountain over a large stretch of floor yesterday and having to mop that up.

Then this morning, boy kitty went to ground behind a pantry cabinet and the washing machine. I had to climb up over the machine and scruff him out, then climb back up and over. Roommate and I have had some drama from all the aggravation both days, but we forgive each other. And some of it was humorous. I got my fitness workout with the climbing, I think. We could both use naps. Girl kitty is going through a relapse with her urinary issues but the vet gave her an antibiotic jab.

All this stuff has made for frazzled, fragmented days. I'm trying just to survive and keep hope alive that I'll be able to catch up with so many things that I don't get to devote much time to while putting out fires as we have been. We could also use naps, roommate especially since she's still recuperating from the surgery.

Less than a week till solstice though. Counting the days. 🌞

Oh, and my friend who was so sick in 2019 and has been in a care facility, even had some more hospital stays this year plus Covid - she called me Sunday and we had a great chat. I've been so stuck in my introvert shell, so it's good that she reached out. I'm going to try and call other friends too.

Hope Tillie is recovering steadily. Emily, if I forgot to say it, welcome to this little corner of the internet. 🙋‍♀️

Wrapped my gifts while sitting in on corporate meeting. Used up the remaining bits of Christmas paper. At last. Good to have it done with. Some of this I bought a decade ago. I used to buy once down to 90% off. I think I won't do that this year, I'll just buy one role next year. I don't really do a ton of gift giving it a ton of wrapping. Most things only need a bow and I have enough ribbon. Cant have real bows because my cat iOS real. Every time I think about how I can't have nice things, I remember that she is my nice thing.

Great work, SubC! You are certainly working hard to keep the Christmas spirit alive! That's sweet about the baby. I bet he's really fun.

Okay a lot for me to do today. Let me get started and report on progress!

Good morning.

Somehow I always seem to wake up with sore shoulders the day after Bean comes. 😄

He is a hefty 20 lbs.

This morning I need to finish putting away the baby things and set up my "classroom". 4 days of online school until break.

Also some laundry, dishes, and general clean up.

We "traded" bean back to his father for my bulk grocery order - dsil and Dd1 are trying out a buying club that delivers to a group by truck every month. Since they are in the city it is not hard for them to go to the pick up location.

I only got a few things, but so far I am pleased. It all came packaged in heavy paper bags. (Except the glass bottle of sesame oil) I now have currants, which I couldn't find locally anywhere and were very expensive by mail so I intend to bake more tea bread! (A lot more - lol, because they come in a 5 lb bag)

I sent home the clothes I got bean for Christmas - because he needs them now, and their Christmas candy.

Total out on Christmas goodies: 2 tins, 3 plastic containers, gift bag, two fancy paper boxes. Total in - gift bag, two plastic containers and a little glass dish with a lid (I don't know if the sender wants that back, but if not, I want to keep it.) I have one more tin to deliver.

We have also been gifted a CD from the friends we usually get together with every year to sing and celebrate. Apparently one of their sons - who is a talented musician - recorded us all a couple of years ago because he had just gotten fancy sound equipment he wanted to play with. I have no memory of this at all, but he burned everyone a CD so they could have their own in house "sing along" this year while eating the traditional candy that the two moms (my friend and I) made sure to get out.

Hello! I've showered and I just had beef ravioli that was absolutely delicious. I used a red sauce instead of my usual creations involving capers and sun dried tomatoes, etc. so tasty

Electrician did not come by tonight, which was a blessing. All of my recycling and my trash is out! I ran to the grocery store where I ran into my friend. I always see her there. So that was nice. Now I am determined to put away all the Christmas cards and just let the decorating begin.

How are you all doing?

Emily, I got out a lot of recycling and garbage and although in my mind it doesn't look any different, I feel lighter. Much lighter. Do you ever get that feeling?

SubC believe it or not, having the hallway put together is helping me. He said he'd come tonight but it could be anytime. So why aggravate myself in the meantime. BF stopped by last night to see the chandeliers and he's happy with them.

I've started to get contacted by all sorts of people in different offices about the opening at my company. People are behind me for the promotion bit it's not up to me. I'll just keep working hard.

I do have wrapping paper, everyone. So I'll be wrapping my gifts soon.