Hi

Things are still up in the air, and it's complicated. I'll check back when I can and/or when I feel up to it.

I too have been wondering a lot about Tillie. Praying she is safe and has her needs met.

I have frustrations I don't even want to get into, and I'm thinking about channeling them into cleaning and tossing stuff when the weather cooperates. It will probably be the most therapeutic thing I can do for the foreseeable future.

Good evening,

Tatoulia, do you think there's a way to ask Cory to check on her? Do you think she'd be mad? I am going to hope she is just busy settling in to Nate's and being treated like a queen until she feels better.

I am proud of you about your job. I'm sure they love you!

Good school day today. I'm afraid I may have told my teens something they aren't supposed to know, but when a kid straight up asks me if we are 100% for sure going to be back in school next week.... anything I say is an answer. So I told them everything I know, which is current numbers are bad, but there are signs infection rates are dropping, the director knows the kids want to come back, she surveyed the teachers and I think we want to come back - and she's meeting with the board this week. The board will decide if we go back on the 12th or wait a week to be sure about how things are going, but hopefully when they look at all the information it will be a yes. So, not 100%, and pick up your supplies because I don't want you wasting time on Thursday anyway.

I did my chores, unloaded the dishwasher, and exercised. Dh is making dinner while my hair dries in front of the fire - I am so spoiled! Pajama party later.

Good morning and coffee clinks!

SubC I loved the description of your grandson watching the creek. So lovely.

I too am concerned for Tillie. I know she'll do all the right things to take care of herself. Hopefully she's left for Nate's at this point. But I worry she hasn't.

I am looking to be the person they promote at work. We aren't at interview stage yet as they are looking to realign the business units. But everyone knows I want something more. So I'm just filling in gaps and helping to keep things moving. I no longer have someone directly above me so I answer to senior management.

Good to hear about the new pjs and I will go though my pj drawer tonight. Time to get rid of some pjs. I'm still wearing summer ones at night. I like the thinnest possible woven fabric. I still sleep with no heat in the bedroom and the ceiling fan on. Although my hot flashes have stopped, I still need a very cold sleep environment.

Okay. On tap today: pj purging.

Good morning.

Tatoulia, I'm confused. Are you hiring, or will you be the one in the spot?

You are doing a great job in your house and your goals!

I am worried because we haven't heard from Tillie fir a month.

Today is a "school" day. It feels weird. At least I am easing in - on Tuesdays I only teach in the afternoons. I cleaned up all the baby stuff again last night and got my desk out.

I have piled clean laundry baskets on the guest bed again, and I am behind on the dishes. I did wash my new pjs and hang them to dry last night. I tried them on first and I love them! Dh said he will help me clean out my pajama drawer tonight.

Yesterday I did yoga and carried Bean around (we bundled up and went for a walk outside - he loves to watch the creek flow over the rocks.) and rode the bike, and today my body is sore. I don't do yoga unless Dh gets up and does it too because the program is on his iPad. And he had been sleeping in because he was on vacation.

I have not started putting away Christmas decorations yet. Maybe today, maybe tomorrow. I always leave them up until epiphany. Sometimes some until Valentine's Day. (Like the red bows and white lights on the house) and there are a few snowmen who escape to the equinox. My mom says she isn't going to start taking down her Christmas decorations until she gets her first shot. My state is now saying they will get to tier 2 at the end of March, not mid January. I realized I had started hoping to see my parents on spring break. I really need to stop doing that. One. Day. At. A. Time.

Today I do some dishes and some laundry and I plug in my computer and teach. Then later Dh and I will have a pajama fashion show.

SubC I'm excited about your new pjs! Hope they are what you expected them to be.

I slept after work tonight. I needed it. I was up til 4 AM with a worry but seem to be less worried now.

All garbage and recycling out. Clean box for kitty. I have to wash the cat carrier tomorrow. Tigger got sick in it and although it was spot cleaned, I'd like to put the inside pad in the washer and at some point I'll take the actual carrier outside for a hosing down. I don't know if our hose is still hooked up. I suspect not. So I may just clean the carrier with old rags.

I'm sticking to my promise to not let my things take up space at a rest stop. I'm keeping up with dishes and I'm eating better now that I'm using my nutrition CDs again. I've started a donation bag and today I put two Christmas decorations in it. They are nice but I'm done with them.

Tomorrow will be a big day for me as I will be meeting with someone to fill a gap at worn due to an unexpected departure. I will need to shower and dry my hair for the meeting.

I wore makeup on NYE and it felt good. Much has dried out in 9 months and I threw a bunch out.

Okay off to bed.

Hi Lila,

Yes, Bean is my grandson. He's 5 months old and the love of my life. His mom just picked him up early because she got done at work and I am a little bit disappointed. Dd is the family "breadwinner" dsil was a teacher and he quit his job to stay home with Bean. He is also a talented photographer who has done paid work. The plan was for me to keep Bean on Mondays (my school is closed on Mondays, also, legally it isn't a school, it's complicated...) so that he could do events on weekends and edit/process/paperwork on Mondays and expand his photography. Yeah. Remember events? He did some graduation photos and he still does some really cool art stuff, but he doesn't need me.

I deleted a bunch of personal information here, because - internet, but basically, I don't know when I'll see Bean again because of Covid and returning to the classroom on the 12th.

I started to make a snack, and then I asked myself if I was eating because I was hungry, or because I was sad, and I decided to set a good example by coming here instead. (Don't shop online! Come here and tell us about it!)

I hope you got something off your list. It sounded like a good plan.

Now I'm going to build up the fire, start some laundry, and put away the baby things.

My pajamas arrived - more info on that later...

Lila! You are doing it, one foot in front of the other! And yes! Get rid of the sad glass! I am so proud of you and you are helping to motivate me! Keep it up and drink lots of water. I don't know why I always say that but I do. I feel better hydrated.

SubC refers to her infant grandson as Bean and it is adorable!

Good morning,

Feeling a little irritable this morning due to having a huge list of pressured to-dos. I may be going out of town Weds and Thurs but won't know until tonight, so that is making me irritated. If I am going I need to prep for the trip, but don't want to do unnecessary things if I am not going... so will prep tomorrow, last minute style.

Today I have so much other stuff to do that I feel paralyzed about where to start. And it is cold and raining so no walk today. I had my coffee and made my list so after I type this I am going to go do one thing off my list. Sigh... SO not enthused.

As for the paper piles, there are a couple more but they are in boxes, or under a chair or something. I would have to move things to get to those, but will, eventually... I think today my tasks in there will be to clean and move the weights, put some clothes away, and put the dishes in a container of some sort so I am not always tripping over piles of bowls, plates, and mugs. There is only one drinking glass left from my set of 12 unbroken and it is on the bookshelf in there and it makes me sad, so I am donating it. I actually have another box of drinking glasses someone gave me in the garage for when I can use them.

I hope your day goes well, guys. Is Bean your grandson?

Took care of Tom; thank you SubC.

Enjoy your grandson!

Quick bounce back - I might not post tomorrow. The project didn't get finished, and Bean is not only coming back 😁he's coming back earlier!

And I have to get school stuff prepped after he goes home.

Can anybody help Tom? He listed in this forum but not thus thread, and Tillie isn't here.

Yay for seeing the Bean, SubC!

Lila you are doing this! Keep moving forward! Yes so much of this is emotional. It's the emotional ties to stuff that puts us in his position. It's hard emotional work and it's worth it!

I forget if you've answered this so forgive me, are you able to sleep on your bed? I hope so!

I was supposed to meet a friend for a walk today but I had something unexpected come up on my end. So I feel a bit cheated but that's okay. I'm starting to gather up my garbage for tomorrow night. I have my tablecloths and napkins ready for the dry cleaner. I have a few Christmas items to put away. I'm keeping the little display in front of my desk, in the window sill, for a bit. It's such a dear little scene. I took down the wreath on my door and I'll do the same with the one in my living room and the one in my bathroom. I may wait on the ones on my front windows because being real wreaths, they will shed needles and my cleaners don't come this week. I'll do it closer to when they will be here.

I spent a little time with BF tonight and I enjoyed his company. I largely just worked on an older NYTimes Sunday crossword puzzle.

Okay I'm going to do a few more things before bed. I've showered and washed my hair. Back to work tomorrow! Lila I work from home. This is a challenge to get back into the groove!

Good evening!

I had a good day with Bean.

Lila, I'm going to guess tgat you didn't see my other post because you were typing.

You make it sound like all the paper piles are cleaned up, but before you said there were six, so I'm unsure. So I will give options at the end of the next step, which is:

Choose a category of thing that is now in the keep bin - say, gift cards - find a place for that thing. (Gift cards I suggest your wallet, but if there are many, an empty purse which you will tie a tag to that says "gift cards" and then put where you will see it, or a labelled box on your dresser, or... your cards - your location) if you choose something that needs to be filed, don't choose "things that need to be filed" choose one file worth "medical papers" or "electric bills" or whatever. Now, get a second bin, and move all the things one at a time into the second bin, pulling out your category and putting those items in their permanent home. You might find something else you can discard.

When the first bin is empty, the new bin should not be full. If you have more paper piles, sort them just like the first step - except pull out your category - until your new keep bin is full. Unless you actually already sorted all your papers - in which case - wow! Give yourself a big pat on the back!

Keep doing this using a new category each time until all your papers are put away. (Don't ADD categories, just choose something new. Otherwise you'll end up sorting new piles into 15 locations and get overwhelmed. Eventually you can come back around once all the papers are in the bin.)

You accomplished a lot today! I'm impressed.

And yes, there is a huge emotional aspect. I'm so sorry about your garage. That had to be heartbreaking. Do you and your Dh have an ok relationship outside of the hoarding issue?

I am picturing you throwing out your trash, hanging up your clothes, and moving your bin and pile out of the way and climbing into a nice clear bed, and I am smiling.

I ran the dishwasher and washed and dried a load of laundry today. I also picked up all the toys and blankets and put away the portable crib after Besn left.

part 2 for Sunday

After I wrote the last post I went in my bedroom to do a bit. I sorted 3 piles of papers into one of 3 places: trash bag, bin, and little pile of "do something with this today or tomorrow" because it is more urgent stuff. I also managed to find like 7 band-aids and put them all into the cupboard in the band-aid box. I found a few office supplies in the piles, like post it notes and index cards, so I just put those in the basket in my room that has office supplies. I also just happen to have a paper shredder in my bedroom so as I went through the piles I shredded maybe 20 papers that were sensitive info but not "keep." Whew! That felt good and didn't take as long as I thought. Now instead of 3 bigger piles and some random papers strewn around, I have one bin and a very small pile.

I also consolidated the diet food into one area, put away a laundry basket of clean clothes, and put dirty clothes from the floor into the basket.

That was about all I could take at the moment so I made myself some coffee and sat down here to chill. I think I have it in me to do a little more after a break. Plus now my bed has the bin, small pile, and a bag of trash on it plus a few clothes I need to put away, so I have to deal with that before bed. I NEVER sleep with junk on my bed - that's my line in the sand, I guess.

Going back and reading more of your posts again.

I also think a lot of this is emotional, don't you? Like, one time I went in my garage and was determined to make it nice. I had SO much stuff. I literally went through every box at least to see what was in there, stacked everything nicely, and got rid of about 30% of my things to make space. Some of it was stuff I wanted to keep, but I wanted the empty space more. I put all my husband's things on one side on shelves, and all of my things on the other side. Family things went front and back. It was so great, I was so happy, I knew where everything was and could get to anything I needed. Less than a month later, my husband went into his storage room and moved ALL, and I mean ALL of his boxes, bins, bags, and random crap into the empty space in the garage. I did not know he was doing this and I was so distraught when I saw it - more tight and cluttered than before I cleaned it! Then he moved a bunch of his stuff from his den, in boxes, into his storage room! Filled it up! The end result was that I got rid of lots of MY nice things and then he filled ALL of that space with his old, never-used, worthless junk. This was a couple years ago and I tried talking to him about it but he gets angry and won't get rid of one thing. So see how I have little incentive to clear any space downstairs? He just hoards it right back up. He is not allowed to leave ANY of his stuff in my room, living room, etc so I am focusing on that (which is all upstairs).

Actually Lila, that may be depression. Depression is not identical with sadness, and it comes in degrees and with varying markers - like autism. Low energy and lack of interest in doing anything are markers of depression.

I completely agree with Tatoulia about the diaries, but they sounded so traumatic I didn't think they would be a good starting place. Maybe tear out a few pages that bring good memories or show a positive side of her and stick them in an envelope. Or seriously - just toss them. It sounds like a relationship best left in the past and a weight you don't want to leave your kids.

And you have another possible goal - clear out the cabinet and get rid of it!

Here is the badger:🦡. We ask people to send him to us when we need more motivation. 🙂 we are pulling for you!

Hi Tatoulia!

hi Tatoulia! Thank you for the thoughts! That is very insightful about the lamp. This cabinet that belonged to my ex... it bothers me. I look at it and think of him and have a lot of mixed feelings. We were not married for long. It was a pretty bad time in my life. But now he is dead, we talked and forgave each other before he died, but still I wish it was gone. But it is full of things I have no other place for yet. The diaries I may get rid of. I have thought about it, picked them up, flipped through... almost tossed them. But then I wonder if my daughter (who is too young to care now) might want to read some of her grandmother's writings. But then again, my mother was not good to me. She even disowned me. She was depressed her whole life and a lot of the writings are about that, and hard to read. And also the diaries are how I found out she cheated on my Dad when I was a teen. That was NOT even on my radar. Honestly just thinking of her fills me with a mix of being sad, angry, sorry for her, hating her, wanting to hurt her back, being p'ed off, and wanting to forgive her. I know once I toss them they are not replaceable. Will I want to read them in 10 years? Hmmm. Maybe I will get rid of most of them and save one in which her writing sounds less insane and makes me less mad.

I went to help at church this morning (we record it and then send it out - Covid so we can't meet in person. I just help with recording). Now I am sitting here wondering what to do. Do any of you guys just feel like sitting and doing nothing all day?? I ALWAYS feel like that. I am not super tired, don't feel depressed. I feel content and fine but prefer to sit on the couch with my feet up and look at the computer or TV all day. I know it is terribly unhealthy. I have been like this for a long time. I have a planner and make lists of things I need to do, goals, etc but unless I am pressed for some reason, and HAVE to do something, I just end up sitting here. Not sure how to change that.

Ladies! Seeing your posts made me really happy!

Lila, I love that you are sharing so much. One thing that has helped me to get rid of stuff is the saying, "you don't lose/waste money when you get rid of something, you lose it when you buy something." Let that sink in.

As to the clothing, you have a lot! A lot that fits and a lot that doesn't fit. Can you cut down? Maybe say, one thing that fits and one thing that doesn't? See if some of the thin clothes are even things that you'd wear? Just an idea!

Okay brace yourself: get rid of your mother's diaries. You hate them. You'll feel better and lighter.

I realized this year that some of things I have give me a subconscious bad feeling. A very nice lamp that I bought at Bloomingdales with a gift card from someone who was mean to me. So I let it go. And it felt great. I have a few things like that, and they are now gone and with them, the bad feelings. Just a thought.

A few years back, I would put things in my online shopping cart and then delete it. That satisfied me for a bit.

Anyway, you are facing this head on and we are here to help. If your trash is in bags, then time to take the bags out!

I got rid of three containers of expired tea. And it made room for the things on my counter! You are doing a great job!

Hellooo SubC!

Also Lila,

I want to be really clear on the bins. You don't have to label any bins yet. Do not get out a bunch of bins and sort by category. You have one bin: "keep" all you are doing in the first step is removing the stuff you no longer need to keep. Stop when the first bin is full and come back for the next step.

Good morning!

Hi Lila,

I asked about the only child thing because a brother or sister might be a support for the journals and pictures - rats.

About the shopping - first - I think it was fantastic that you used some of what you had and cleared out space! Is there any more dog food? Keep feeding it until it is gone!

But, you talk about money for furniture - how much was the treat ball without the extra shopping? Because what you got for your $50 was some merchandise, and a problem. If you had spent even $5 less and skipped the cat box, you would have $5 toward your furniture an no problem. Find or print out a picture of a pretty couch. Tape it to your computer or use it as wallpaper. If you can - open a savings account. When you are tempted to shop online, do something else instead. Then transfer $1 to your savings account. This is your furniture money. If you transfer $1 every day - you will have $365 toward your furniture. Another thing would be to fill your cart, delete it, and transfer the total to your furniture account. - it will add up very fast! This is assuming you are spending money you actually have. If you have debt like a lot of people, you should talk with Tatoulia. She is the "getting rid of debt while not shopping" genie!

Another question to ask yourself is - did the doggie need the treat ball now? It sounds like you have many things to entertain your doggie. And really - most doggies would rather have a walk or a play with you than a toy - what if you had just given your dog the time you spent shopping? Next time, maybe shop your stash and focus on how much fun you have with your dog?

Fantastic about the shelter and the donations going tomorrow! I hope you can find some additions (would they like some lotion?) but don't delay the donation if you can't.

The cat boxes - donate the two that are not in use right now. Thrift shop, pet rescue.... don't go into the thrift store - Covid! (Also you have too much stuff and you are saving for furniture) if they are too nasty, just throw them out. After the new one arrives, when you see which one you and the cat prefer, get rid of the other.

Yes, get rid of tea you won't use. Also, if the diet food is ok, keep eating it.

Let me know if you do the bins or move the weights. (You can vacuum that one spot and then clean each weight before you bring it back. - so much exercise!)

I am glad to hear about your teen. Some of my students are on the independent end of the spectrum and I really enjoy them. Also, it gives you a horizon for using your dishes and a goal - "in three years I will have all of my kitchen stuff in the kitchen and only things I want and use in my kitchen." That is a good, reasonable goal. Don't be appalled by the "three years." New habits take time. Physically removing stuff takes time. I have been coming here for about three and a half years (a little more.) I am not done yet, and I backslide, but things have gotten so much better!

I posted about my hoarding and my hoarding inclined Dd when I first arrived. I reread the post Thursday because she called, and during the conversation, she told me that watching me has actually transformed her relationship with stuff. Now before she gets something, she asks herself "do I really want this? How am I going to get rid of it when I'm done with it?" She just finished an entire year of not buying clothes (well, she slipped and bought a pair of shoes, and we bought her some athletic wear for Christmas. - but really amazing.)

Also, I'm afraid you'll think I am hypocritical about the extra shopping to save money. I try very hard not to do that. The bras will be replacing some that are so old the navy one is pale grey, and I have found which ones to replace before the package is even here. I also bought a pair of pajamas for myself this year - they are purely a treat, although I am thinking about cleaning out the pajama drawer before I open them (package tracker says today) and I bought some socks on sale, but I'm not sure if that was early 2020 or back in 2019. Clothes last a super long time if you buy selectively and take care of them.

Hang in there. And seriously - if you want to shop online - come tell us about it first!

part 3 -

I was going to bed and remembered something I wanted to add. About the "having enough." I have this constant fantasy that I will the lottery or get some inheritance and can suddenly afford things. I think about buying a smaller house and then moving each thing into it intentionally and having to sort every item and get rid of a lot... and (shame) think about booting my husband out so he can't hoard up my new home. He makes me so mad with his hoarding. It is 10x worse than mine (imagine all I described in my bedroom and then make the room half as small, and add boxes and piles containing every piece of mail including junk mail and every receipt for the past 15 years. On top of that add bags and bags of plastic bags, boxes of used paper towels, bags of paper trash, every magazine, catalog and newspaper that came by, and all his clothes since 1976. You can't even walk in his den and he has to sit on stuff when he sits down. I hate it because it leaked over into my family room, garage, and storage room. Anyway.

When I get rich, the fantasy goes, I can throw out these horrible couches I have with giant areas of bonded leather peeling off and one end falling off and get nice couches. I can get rid of the stupid cabinet that was my ex husbands and get something new. I can send back my son's dining room table which doesn't fit and is a bad shape for my dining room, and can get rid of the 6 wobbly, mismatched chairs around it and buy a whole new set. I can get rid of the end tables I hate and buy cute ones that have storage space in them. Maybe if I am rich enough I can even add a closet at the end of the hallways for sheets and blankets.

Sigh... so all my furniture is depressing. I hope that sometime this year I have enough money to replace all of that!

part 2 -

I also found a place that helps domestic violence survivors that is taking donations. So I have a box in the back of my car that I will donate there on Monday. It's been in my car for like a month. I also have a box started in my room for donation but it only has a few things in it. I will go in and find a few clothing items in the closet, or at least one, anyway, and donate. Will also re read your post and think about what else I can do. But I really like the bins thing.

My teen on the spectrum will, I think, eventually move out and be able to have their own life and even be successful. Maybe in 3 years. It's mild aside from the anger outbursts which happen maybe once a month. It used to be more often, thus all my broken dishes. But still it is not safe to put the dishes out yet because of the occasional outburst. They are Correlle and match. Instead of them being out on the floor it might be a good idea to put them in a drawer or a tub. I don't put them in the garage because I do get them out for dinner occasionally.

I love dog training and it's my favorite hobby, my own and other peoples'. I'm good at it. I may be getting a puppy soon so will be using the training stuff hopefully.

Let's see, what else? The diet food. Oh the diet food. I lost a lot of weight in 2013. And that is how old one box of the diet food is. Now before you get totally grossed out, it is all powdered protein drinks. I actually had one the other day and it tasted fine (mix with water) but part of me cringes that I have stuff 8 years old like that. The other part of the box is pretty new and I had them for snacks twice this week. You know, I have 2 drawers in the kitchen FULL of tea bags. Some are 8 years old. No one needs that much tea. I could get rid of some and then move the diet food into a drawer, maybe?

Okay, heading to bed! Thanks!

Wow, Subclinical, I feel like we would be good friends in real life! You make a WHOLE lot of sense, even to the point I think, "oh I can do that!" Thank you so much! The moving the weights to the garage and back every day made me laugh! Because it makes sense!! And also makes me realize how silly it is to have them sitting in my room for five years waiting to be lifted. They are in a cardboard box with no lid and it's full of dust bunnies and dog hair! omg, I will move it tomorrow. Thank you.

The papers-to-bins is intriguing. I think I will do that, slowly. But I immediately start thinking "wait! I have to label each bin, and sort the papers by year, and shouldn't I just make some files for the filing cabinet and file everything..." making it more complicated than it needs to be. Just getting papers somewhat sorted into the empty bins will create a lot of space. Then you can tell me the next steps too.

Today I did not go out, but I did shop online. My dog is old and lays on her bed a lot and I wanted to get her something to do, so I found a treat ball thing on amazon. Then it said, "save 25% if you spend $50 of certain items" so I had to look at all the items. I bought a litter box that has a hole in the top, to keep litter in (if this works omg it will be so awesome. The cat tracks and spills litter everywhere!! but... now what do I do with the THREE litter boxes I already have (for one cat... only one is in use)?? I also got some dog toys and treats.

Then I did something I am proud of. I have no where to store the treats and stuff I bought, so I went to that bin in my room that was full to the top with treats, dog food samples, etc. I took ALL the dog food samples which was like 12 little bags, and poured them all into the dog food bin. Let's be real, my dogs will eat anything, they don't need to sample it first! Then I went through the treats and got out 4 bags that were expired (but they are crunchy treats and seriously have not gone bad) and poured them into the treat jar in the dining room.

Now that bin is only about 1/3 full! And when the new treats come it is only 2 little bags so that bin will stay a lot less full. I might even be able to store a dog towel or some toys in there with the treats to save space.

Yes, I am an only child, why do you ask?

Good evening,

Some days I feel like you guys all live in CA even though I know you don't. It's quiet all day and then I go to bed and wake up in the morning and someone posted - like emailing my students!

I took the recycling today and Dh took two truckloads to the dumpster. It was very stressful for me, but the yard looks better and his shop looks amazing.

A charity load, two dumpster loads, and a recycling load - we're off to a good start this year.

I also picked at the basement a little more.

Dd called, and I get to go get Bean tomorrow! Just when I thought the holidays were over...😁

Good morning Lila!

I'm so sorry you were in the hospital. I hope you get good health news.

Such a lovely long post! Thank you for taking the time and the courage to share all of that with us.

Two things in all that time is not too bad. And you are using them.

Good job facing the room!

Here are some different starting ideas:

I hear you say you won't be able to afford to replace the clothes, but you could afford the new coat, right? You won't suddenly need a whole new wardrobe and that sounds like a lot of clothes. Also, honestly, women in their fifties rarely lose a lot of weight. (I say this as a companion in he struggle, not a critic.) feelings of scarcity are scary, but maybe you could donate one item of too small clothes this week to balance the coat? The closet might be a good place to look.

Btw, don't wait until you "have enough" to donate stuff. Right now, you just need to get it out as fast as you can.

Are you a generous, caring person? There are shelters and food banks that really need that lotion and shower gel right now. How much will you honestly use before it expires? Donate the rest. If it's expired, you shouldn't use it either and it's time to throw it out. (Ouch I know! When something like that happens, I feel really sad, and then I tell myself to remember this and learn from it and not waste things by getting too many to use again. - it doesn't always work, but you slowly make progress.)

The food is similar. The purpose of food is to eat it. If it is expired - you should throw it out. If it is still edible - here is a great place to start! You are currently excited about your fitness plan. Grab one diet food item and base your next meal on it. You can also save money (for future clothes) by not buying any more food (except things your family needs) until you have eaten all the diet food. Also - you no longer buy lotion, face products or shower gel! Shop your pile.

Those dishes in your room - are they mismatched and partial sets? Donate them and replace them with the pretty dishes to give yourself a lift. I would like to know a little more about your child and breaking the dishes - is it anger, frustration, the joy of the crash, or coordination? Is this something that might change? The answers can inform your actions.

Also, can you tell us more about the role dog training plays in your life?

Those boxes you want to give your kids - do your kids want them? Have you asked? How do your kids feel about the stuff? They may want to help you. They might be interested in taking a few of their things now, or giving you their blessing to let the things go.

How much do you LOVE that huge jewelry box frame thing?

Are you an only child?

Would you like to sit in your rocking chair? You have empty bins - go to your closet or dresser and put clothes into those empty bins until you have enough space for the clothes you actually wear. Keep an eye out for anything you can donate now. Bonus points if you can fill a bin with all one type of item or all one size and label it! Put away the clothes you wear! Put a sign on the rocking chair that says "no dumping". Never put anything down on that chair even for a minute. check to be sure it is clear every night.

Move the free weights to the garage. Tomorrow move them back. Move them every day and you are exercising and going into both spaces and looking at the space every day. Eventually you will decide how you really feel about the weights - use them properly or get rid of them.

Grab an empty shoebox sized bin and sit down by one of those 6 piles of papers, coupons, gift cards, receipts... pick up each item. If it is a receipt, ask yourself why you are saving it - if you don't need it, recycle. If it is a coupon, check the date - expired, recycle. Set aside the coupons you KNOW you will use this week. Papers, same as receipts, gift cards - just put them in the plastic bin. Put everything you are keeping in the bin. If it is a hard decision, just put it in the bin. The most important thing here is to keep moving and eliminate things that can obviously go. Keep going until the bin is full. If you choose this one, let me know, there are more steps.

Keep trying to not buy things. Keep telling us what you buy.

Last night I started the dishwasher, but all the dishes didn't fit. (I also forgot to tell you I baked tea bread yesterday - it made Dh happy.) I also went online to order a new mattress pad for my dad's twin bed. It was on sale, but $9 shipping and Dh buys his underwear there , so I asked him if he needed new underwear. He said yes, but the underwear was on sale too, and I was still $11 short. So I asked if he needed t-shirts too. He said "no, why?" When I told him, he said "buy a bra." (I wear my bras far too long.) I said "a bra is a lot more than $11." And he said "ok. You need it." so I looked, and they had one I like on sale, buy one get one, so even though I went well over, I ended up getting two for less than $14 each.

My box will come Friday, so next weekend I need to finish making up the bed and throw out two old bras.

hi all, I made it back and caught up on your posts! Thank you for remembering me and asking about me!

the bad:
I was in the hospital for possible TIA. Not sure yet but need to see another doctor.
I ate too many sweets because we had a family birthday, plus I just ate more of them.
I bought two more things :(

the good:
yay new year
birthday was fun
the two things I bought were at least useful: 1, a coat that fits, I love it! I bought it promising myself to walk every day. I have not walked yet. Will start tomorrow. 2, a little bike pedaler you can pedal with sitting on the couch watching TV. I have used it twice. You can use it on your arms too. I hope it will help me lose weight and get more fit, especially with the health scare.

Well, not too terrible I guess. I went in my bedroom yesterday and today, looked around, grabbed the trash bag, got overwhelmed and walked back out. I feel like there is not one thing in there I can get rid of. The trash is all in the bag so there is no trash to pick up.

Can you help me figure out how to start? I already have "gone through" all the stuff in there in the past, just keep reorganizing it and wondering what to do. Here is what is in there.

4 dressers full of stuff. 80% of the stuff is clothes. I did go through and sort it, put some in bins downstairs but the drawers are still full. I am broke and it gives me huge anxiety to even consider giving away ANY of the clothes because I already got rid of anything I don't really like, too big, or worn out. What is left is a lot of clothes I bought when I was thinner and they are goal clothes. If I get rid of them I won't be able to afford replacing them WHEN I lose this weight. So I feel like the clothes stay. MAYBE there are a couple things in the closet I could donate. Tops of dressers are covered in stuff like photo albums, jewelry box, a couple things my kids and family gave me.

3 nightstands full of stuff. Tops covered in stuff.
a big wardrobe type closet with doors that is full of photos of my kids, documents, special stuff that was my dad's and grandpa's, and blankets I use. The top of it has a bunch of those Breyer horses that I collected as a child.
Bedroom closet is filled with my clothes and shoes, stuff for my dogs, boxes of things my kids made for me when they were younger (I want to send the boxes to them when they have their own homes to live in).

Rocking chair piled with the clothes I wear the most.

Box of free weights for weight lifting which is a goal but I haven't in a long time.

small rocking chair that was mine as a child, with stuff piled on it.

box of photos from the 60s and 70s which is all I have from when my mother died. I need to scan them...

big tub of baby pictures of my daughter, very overwhelming.

box of my dad's stamp collection from the 30s and 40s. One connection to my dad who passed away. Also a box of birth and marriage certificates from the 1800s. Family. And very old photos. I feel paralyzed wanting to copy and preserve all this stuff. But can't begin.

3 boxes of books that someone very special gave to me that will help me in my volunteer work. I need these and treasure them.

One bookshelf with glass doors, with books I use, and a few ceramics my kids made for me.

tub of cords, wires, parts to things (overwhelming)
large tub of diet foods I bought, like low carb stuff. No room in the kitchen for them.
box of papers that need attention of some sort
big box of brand new frames that I want to put photos in and hang, but its so overwhelming
huge jewelry box frame thing for the wall but has photo slots and I can't cope. Plus I need someone to hang it for me. So its on the floor.
Frames of all sizes leaning against the walls.
a dollhouse my dad and I made together when I was like 8.
a tub of work tools that if I put them anywhere else in the house, my husband takes them and loses them.
a pile of folded beach towels
a plastic 3 drawer thing full of things for my dogs (I do a lot of dog training)
a plastic 4 drawer thing full of toys like barbies and all their clothes, polly pockets, things that cost me a lot of money for my daughter but she outgrew but my granddaughter will want to play with next year.
a plastic 4 drawer thing full of important papers of my kids, plus random items like earbuds, paper, binoculars, all kinds of random things
one corner of the room is literally empty plastic tubs and bins. I feel so dumb saying that. I bought like a dozen in shoebox size with lids, a few bigger and a few smaller, and there they sit!!
then on another side of the room is stacks of those shoebox tubs with photos in them from 1990s-2000s sorted by year. I need to scan and get copies to my kids. They are the only pics of the kids... nothing was digital.
A box of VCR tapes that I got half f them converted but still dont want to get rid of them, it's my dad and my babies on there.
two fire proof safes, one big with kids journals and heirlooms, one with documents.
box of... ugh... my mother's diaries I got when she died. I hate them but can't bring myself to get rid of them since they are not replaceable... but... I hate them so don't want to scan them or anything either.
big clock that was my grandparents in 1920s but needs to be fixed.
stacks of planners, notebooks, notepads
piles... like 6 piles... of random stuff, papers, coupons, rewards cards, gift cards, receipts...
boxes of lotions, face products, shower gels...
a literal pile of clothes, papers, a laptop, chargers
a folding laptop table so I can do Zoom meetings in my room
2 china tea sets that my daughter and I used to have tea parties and I will use with my granddaughter
box of office supplies, pens, sticky notes, index cards I use
another big tub full of dog treats, chews, food samples
a scanner (funny, right?) that I have no where to put, don't know how to use or set up and am overwhelmed by how much I have to scan
on the floor are piles of stacks of dishes, bowls, plates, mugs, pyrex because my spectrum child breaks them if they are out so I put them in my room - plus all the knives

So this overwhelms me and I can barely walk in my room and I cannot even know where to begin. I know that is a LOT to take it, but can you help me know where to start? I KNOW I will be resistant/have reasons not to do anything suggested but I promise I will try.

Tatoulia, I am glad you found your tablecloth! You have definitely made a good start on the year!

The addition is done! The doorway looks so nice!

In other news - Dh helped me carry the daybed from the little porch bedroom to the barn loft (it is still disassembled)

We carried back the mattress and box spring that were out there and I set up the twin bed that was my dad's in there (bed parts had been stored in the basement) I still need to make the bed. I am going to buy a new mattress pad.

The center bedroom is still a mess. I moved a little table from there to be a nightstand by the bed and took my rolling drawers of stamps out and put it next to my craft table.

The porch bedroom contains bed, nightstand, craft table, chair, rolling cart, pictures I want to hang, and the serger I haven't put away because I have five unfinished baby wipes. There is also a small built in shelf that is full of Nick knacks.

Now that I have moved the nightstand and cart, if I move the bin of I-actually-don't-know-what, I can move my glass fronted doll cupboard out of the guest room. Then - I clear the stuff off the changing table that is being used as a storage shelf in the basement, set it up in the guest room, and bingo - the room is ready for Bean and his parents to stay over!

So, if I focus on trying to get that done, covid will be over before I know it!

In even more other news, I set up the ladder shelf (not in a nice location, it's tucked away in a corner - but moving the bed frame made space) in the basement and put my china dolls back on it. That eliminated a box from my storage rack. It's actually only half the china dolls, but from that box, there are two I'm considering getting rid of. The others made me smile when I unwrapped them, and those two did not.

Ok, a few more things to do before I can settle down for the evening.

We had dinner here last night. Windows open and fireplace on. I slept til 1 today. I stayed up all night tweeting.

I've started another donation bag! And I started cleaning out my freezer yesterday. Not a lot in there but still there was stuff that needed to go.

Bf and I will get mom's groceries tonight in a little while. I'm giving platelets tomorrow afternoon. I'm finishing three loads of laundry and I'm reading. Not a bad start to 2021.

I found one of my tablecloths. Actually turned out to be at BF's. So we used it last night.

I hope to wake up at a more normal hour tomorrow. Something that counts as AM.

SubC you are doing great! And I'm thrilled about your husband's progress! Great work!

Happy new year Tatoulia!

And to Tillie, CM, Lila, Emily, Anony, Joan, and all who come to this place. :)

Dh and I had pizza and went to bed early last night. Although we had some difficulty sleeping because several of our neighbors celebrated with fireworks and gunshots.

I did not do anything useful after i rode the bike (except chores - if I am physically capable of getting out of bed, you can assume I did chores.)

Dh is hoping to finish the doorframe today. He has all the wood stained. Then the addition project we started in 2014 will be done!

Unfortunately, the decluttering my life project is not going as quickly. But it is going.

Today is another day to make progress.

Happy New Year, All!

CM! That is so good to hear!

God will still love you if you have a dirty face and need to brush your teeth, I am so glad your sewer will be done!

Tatoulia, your "no rest stops" is wise! But I'm not sure I can do it. I have been doing better today about finishing jobs.

I hope you found your clives.

Hi Lila! We miss you.

I did not do any paperwork today. Dd1 told Dh that they have a dumpster being picked up from work this week that has a ton of room left in it. Apparently it is the same to them if the dumpster is full or empty, so Dd invited him to throw stuff in the dumpster. I started out happy that I could finally get rid of my broken vacuum cleaner, and then Dh encouraged me to think about what else could go. I spent part of my day gathering up the pieces of the broken plastic playhouse that had been handed down to the goats and pulling the former duck pool with a hole in the bottom out of the weeds. I think the use of the dumpster is Dh favorite Christmas gift.

I also spent some time working in the pottery studio, looking for larger things that can go in the dumpster (a broken plastic shelf) and trying to sort out and put away many many small items that have just been piled around and scooped into boxes. I emptied one box. I also found a few more things to recycle. The recycling is mostly in my car. It completely fills the back with the back seat up and there is at least one more box I will have to stick in the back seat. I'm not sure when the last time was I dropped the recycling. Over a month for sure, because we were at school.

I am also caught up on dishes.

Mr. kitty did not spill his coffee this morning and hopefully my cushions will all be dry by tomorrow.

I have warmed up from my adventures in frozen plastic recovery and am going to go ride the exercise bike - taking Tatoulia's admonition to "reduce" to heart. :) (although I slipped on the ice this morning, and I'll be honest - when I hit the ground I was grateful for my extra padding.)

Back later!

Quick update - GOOD NEWS -

Handyman doesn't have Covid, just minor bronchitis.

New projected work date for digging sewer line is Saturday, as tonight a nasty winter storm is supposed to move in here.

I don't like the idea of possible water being cut off and trying to work around that getting ready for Mass on Sunday morning, but I'll survive. If the work will just be DONE, I'll survive and be thankful. And maybe the timing won't put it right when I need to get ready anyway.

Spent time worrying in the night, which I know is stupid but had difficulty turning it off. Finally said heck with it and turned the light back on and finished a book.

Today is payday for me so I need to go out and buy a phone card now that I know it's okay for me to be out and about. Then I may come home and crash for awhile.

My goal remains pretty consistent, which is to reduce! I cleared out one shelf of a kitchen cabinet today while breeding my coffee. Since trash is tonight, I'll have it out of my house and a kitchen shelf with room. How's that? Reduce, reduce, reduce.

I'm also actively working on "no rest stops." Sometimes when I'm taking something out of one place to put it back, I let it sit in a rest stop area. No more. I've been working on that with some pretty awesome results. So no dishes resting in sink, no bedroom item sitting on the hallway table to take a break, etc. I take a mental pause to put back in its final destination

Lila any goals? We can cheer you on AND we can relate to falling down a bit. CM! What are you thinking?

SubC in my book you should get your vaccine along with the other teachers. We need you to be safe!

Okay I'm on my way to go find whole cloves. Wish me luck.

CM,

I hope you will get good news about your handyman today.

Tatoulia, I am sorry to hear there is more covid at mom's. Have they said anything about when people might get vaccinated?

Our governor said we should start vaccinating teachers in mid January, but I think that might be over ambitious, because the health care workers I know had their shots pushed back a week. Also, since I don't work in an official "school" I'm not sure if I'm a "teacher".

Alligator clamps are for clamping together things - they look like giant metal clothespins if the clothespins were flat on both sides of the spring, and they have rubber tips to protect whatever you are clamping. They will go in the shop.

Today is the last day of December. Since Tillie isn't here, I will ask - does anyone have any goals for January? I didn't finish my December goals, but I did ok. I did get the laundry put away and not make new laundry piles, and I did clear the piles out of the den and great room. I didn't do the scullery or dining porch, but they are both better.

I tend to think of my year more in the solar quarters and cross quarters than by month, so there are 8 seasons. This is the hardest one because of the daylight (or rather lack thereof) it starts with solstice and all the celebrations, which I am slowly learning to just let myself relax and enjoy, and ends on February 4. It's a season of beginnings and planning and preparation.

So, that is where my focus will be - laying the groundwork for a successful year by organizing and preparing my home, ordering things I need for the farm, and clearing out old unneeded stuff. I will try to finish the scullery. I will also try to prepare my body by doing yoga and riding the bike and taking walks outside so that I don't feel so exhausted in the spring.

But today, I will work on "paperwork" - seed order, chick order, lesson plans, class proposals, maybe even evaluations - they are due late this year because we started late, but I don't want them to sneak up on me.

Cm that is terrible news and a terrible worry. I'm so sorry. Will be praying for all. I'm so, so sorry.

SubC thanks for the encouragement and praise! Oh I love having my ladies here. So I'm super clean for tomorrow's dinner. I'll miss our usual of eating at 11 and ringing in the new year and people-watching from our excellent seat at the restaurant. But, we'll be safe and here and eating tasty food,

The woman at mom's tonight would've let me up but there are new COVID cases so I didn't go in, I now have all of the tips distributed at mom's. We reached 12 people this year. Not bad. One of the aides helped me to identify who would get tips. So those are all out. They aren't supposed to accept tips but most of them will anyway. There is a way to donate and then they are split evenly amongst all staff but I also have private pay aides. And this is a fairly poor resident population so my $300 wouldn't go very far. Went much farther this way, where most people got 20 and a few got more. I can't tip everyone.

I count my shower as an accomplishment too, SubC. I didn't wash my hair.

BF's office had an inspection today and the officer cried when she found out that Tigger is no longer with us.

SubC I cannot imagine who spilled the coffee. I shall assume it was some sort of invisible resident of your home.

Okay wha are alligator clips?

Love you Tillie! Lila stop by when you can!

Still waiting to hear from handyman the results of his 2nd Covid test today as the first one was inconclusive.

Tatoulia - you have a clean house with extra space!
🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻

I wanted to put a unicorn with balloons exploding out of it's head, but the internet wouldn't let me.

CM, I am sorry that Murphy likes you so much. Very sad for your handyman too. Such a rough situation all around.

I didn't clean the fountain today. I had a hard time because it got overcast and rained.

I Did:
make the last mold for my students
Ride the exercise bike (my weight has hit my old high again)
Shower (you know it's a rough day because I need credit for showering.)
Putter in the basement and move a few things around and put a few small items in the recycling.

Meanwhile Dd came by and gifted us a box of alligator clamps that they were throwing out at work and returned another bin of outgrown baby clothes for me to store.

I also took all the cushions off the couch and washed them because some klutz who was not Dh or Mr. kitty dumped an entire mug of coffee on the couch this morning.

I also realized I should have called my seed order in today. now they will probably be closed until Monday. I will get it all ready, but I hate not being able to finish things when I am actually making progress.

Well, Murphy's Law is still in effect for roommate and I, and possibly more so for our handyman and his poor family member. That person now has Covid on top of stage 4 lung cancer. Handyman has gone for a Covid test. That escalated quickly, and we may need to take steps if we have been exposed.

Yesterday nothing happened on our work, we waited all day. But it may have been because of the new development in the situation with the sick person.

Both roommate and I have Type O blood which is supposed to make a person less likely to catch Covid. Statistically anyway. And we take vitamin D consistently, another possible thing in our favor.

Animal control checked at the place where those bunnies had been and the bunnies were gone. Our club leader fears they've been returned to the original breeder. We are dismayed and I can't speak for the others but I myself am just trying to put it out of my mind because it's too sad.

I'll update as soon as there's something to update.

That's funny about the baby's "cough". So sweet!

My cleaners just left and I am pleased as punch. I really want them every week. This is heavenly.

Okay back to work. We have tomorrow off. I cannot wait to sleep in. In my professionally made bed.

Oh! I have gotten rid of enough stuff that I will keep the comforter and pillows I bought for friend's visit. I may even try the pillows myself although, they aren't my prefered type of pillows.

Im working on a donation bag. Need to keep things moving here!

Okay back to work.

Hello everyone!!!.

Good morning!

Beautiful moon thus morning - always makes me think of Tillie.

CM, I am so relieved that the flags are there! Lol about the synchronized gophers. Dd manages construction projects and I'm pretty sure she has some subcontractors who use those.

Crossing my fingers for girl kitty and this'd poor bunnies.

Tatoulua, thank you for mentioning your laundry! It reminded me to take mine out and hang it before bed. Good job on the Christmas cards!

Lila, how did yesterday go?

I did all the thank you notes yesterday and made three molds - then I checked my notes and realized I actually need a 4th mold, so that is priority for today.

I also did some laundry (as mentioned) and wrote a scholarship recommendation for a former student.

I finally got up with my cousin and we had a nice long talk, and I also chatted on FaceTime with dd1 and mom. Dd1 was funny. They are very concerned because Bean keeps making this little coughing noise and they are afraid he is sick. It is vocal - like clearing his throat. I told them it is not a cough, and Dd said "but he does it all the time. He started doing it the other day and it is getting worse and worse." I told her "yes, when he does it, both of his parents stop what they are doing and focus all their attention on him - it is a very important noise, so he is practicing it."

Maybe I will wash the fountain today. It isn't supposed to rain until lunch time. Dh has all the rotten wood removed and most of the new bracing in, so he will start work on the floor today I think.

The school stuff that is still piled all over the dining porch would be another good point of attack. Or my seed order. I got two more seed catalogs in the mail yesterday.

Hi CM! Good to hear from you! That is good progress on the sewer line. Now for the next steps to start...

I feel terrible for those bunnies. Those poor things. I hope animal control can get to them ASAP. Please keep us posted.

Hello Tillie! We miss you and love you!

I am getting rid of more stuff and feeling great about it. I'm really quite happy.

I'm also happy to hear that our trash will be picked up on Friday, so that means that Thursday night before BF comes over i can take my trash out,

I am tired and for once would like to go to bed at a reasonable hour


Oh my goodness I just remembered I'm doing laundry.

I'll go deal with that now.

TTFN

Sort of just coasting at the moment. Chilly rainy mucky day here.

Earlier things were hopping off and on. Had to confine kitty girl for follow up urine sample to take to vet. Roommate awaiting results. We hope kitty is cured. Poor girl was so relieved to get out of prison aka the back room.

The last couple days things have begun to get in motion again the sewer line done but always there are delays and glitches. Our handyman had a grandbaby born and another family member had a health condition relapse which will be terminal, so he's been tied up, but he did better keeping us posted via text.

The city guy did actually get the yard flagged at long last, yesterday. And our guy did nail down the shingles on the roof, and cleaned the gutters. Now we're just waiting on the bobcat, backhoe, team of synchronized trained gophers, or whatever from the rental place so the digging up of the yard for sewer work can commence. The equipment rental place has its own various delays, though. Sigh.

Roommate may have chance to sell her old car, handyman knows a couple people interested. So there was a scramble to get stuff out of it.

The prospective multi rabbit rescue operation hit a wall as the gentleman stopped returning our gal's calls. She's trying to go through animal control now. Weather forecast is for some cold nastiness in the central US tomorrow but it may remain liquid precipitation here. Still not nice for a neglected, underfed bunch of young bunnies in a makeshift pen who've had to live on a pile of their poop for months. 😥

Lila, I think you will devise strategies as you go, and the process will take shape as you see what works best for each area you face in your home and with your fitness goals and so on. This is a good time to concentrate on inside projects. Hope Tillie is back soon as she will undoubtedly have tips for surviving and thriving when not all the others in your household are able or willing to get on board with decluttering.

Hi SubC and Tatoulia, I skimmed the posts for now but at least I know what you're up to in general.

Weather should be better here by a week or so from now, and dare I hope more of the loose ends will be tied up by then. I'd hoped to do more on my stuff but all the stopping and starting and waiting for work on the house is a hindrance.

Hello everyone! SubC I am taking note of your health tips!

You are accomplishing quite a bit! It is getting colder by the hour here. I've made a good dent in my work and in my house. I got rid of a lot of Christmas cards this year and I've made a second bag (of cards) to donate. I was able to clean out one complete bin of Christmas cards this year! And now I'm shredding the ones I received from people. No need to hang on to them.

I'm getting through a lot here and I feel good. In other news, I'm in my pjs and haven't had lunch.

Good afternoon!

Lila, I gave been thinking of you.

I did yoga and chores, ran the dishwasher, spent a few minutes sorting and tidying in the basement, rode the bike and showered, and spent some time working on molds I need to finish for the kids in one of my classes. I have the first one nearly finished and drying for it's final trim, and the second one slumped on the mold and firming up in front of the woodstove. I need to make three.

Dh is removing the external door from between the house and the addition. Once he has cleaned out all the rotted wood from back before we started rehabbing the house he will reinforce the doorway and frame it in and then we will have to decide what cosmetic finish we want to use - drywall or wood - in the opening.

Next year when we have everyone here for Christmas there will be a beautiful open space and the great room won't get too hot from the woodstove and all the people.

I did have to empty my fountain and take it apart and move it so he can work without danger of damaging it. This would be a good opportunity to was the fountain and the shells, but I'm not sure I'm up for it.

It is sunny as promised here, but barely above freezing.

At the moment I'm more motivated to do thank you notes than the needed barn work.

Good morning friends!

Lila, you had three successes yesterday!
You did not buy anything - big!
You chose a motivational outfit.
You made a plan.

Today - try not to go to the online shopping. If you want to - come here instead. Tell us about it. Read people's stories.

Or go "shop" one of your bins - see if you can find something you like more than something you have out. Maybe the thing that is out is ready to go. Maybe there is nothing in the box you want enough to make space for it right now and something from there can go. Maybe you just churn, but you don't buy anything online, so win!

If it is just too cold to be outside - walk your stairs. Set a goal for how many times you will go up and down them and just do it.

Are you watching tv with commercials? Exercise during the commercials. Maybe just start by standing up during the commercials, then add stretches, then walk in place....

I need to restart my exercise program. I also need a shower. I am telling you this because now I know I will exercise and shower, because how can I tell you to exercise and not do it myself?

I felt a little better about my house when I went to bed last night. I also cleaned out a stall yesterday and laid down a base layer for my spring herb garden.

I'm not sure what I will do today - but I will report back. I'll try to check in often because, Lila, I know it is hardest at the beginning.

Btw, are you willing to share a little more about your child on the spectrum? Do you think they will one day move out, or are they likely to live with you? If you will always be together, how they function is going to impact the kind of home you have and you have to be realistic about that. (Maybe you keep ONE setting of the pretty dishes somewhere out of the way and use it to serve yourself an attractive, healthy meal at a time you arrange to eat alone...)

Hi Tatoulia, Hi CM, Hi Tillie, Hi Emily!

Put on a coat then add a scarf. The scarf will hide the fact you can't close your coat. I'm huge right now from all the baking I did at the start of the pandemic. Yes! Take a walk! And just work on something tmr. See if there is a Red Cross or other donation site. I don't blame you for being upset about your goodwill.

Thank you for the replies and the great tips guys! It feels good to tell my problem somewhere. I've been kind of ashamed of it.

I regret the dishes already. They look nice in my head but WHEN? Probably in a few years. I don't know.

It would help if I found a place I feel good about donating to. I hate our local Goodwill, they are ridiculous and the staff just grabs your box of stuff and literally DUMPS it all into a giant box to sort. I have watched them DUMP glass and fragile items I donated as well as things I had sorted, like army men or legos, they jump DUMP them and it gives me so much anxiety!!!! I need to find a place that appreciates it.

I know just the thing for the outfit I want to wear. It is a pretty grey blouse with flowers and I LOVE it but it is just too snug in the arms, and I can button it but it pulls - you know that feeling like you want to safety pin it shut because you just know a button is going to pop off or there will be an embarrassing gap between buttons? But it is CLOSE to fitting. I will try that on each day and make it my goal shirt. I need to get out a pair of jeans I can't button but want to wear, too.

I got so emotional this morning I felt paralyzed, and instead of doing all the things on my to do list for today I just sat and shopped online (did not buy anything but came close). And watched tv and ate. I got nothing done and feel bad about it. I guess tomorrow is a fresh day and I will do better.

Goals for tomorrow:
Put 3 things in the donate box
Find a better place to donate
Eat healthy, maybe take a walk... I don't think I have a coat that fits though :(

Hello ladies!

Way to go SubC! You and your husband did great work today! I am so proud of you! Great work!

Lila you are here and I'm pretty excited! Post as much as you need or want to. It's a good place to come even if you are the only one posting at that particular time.

I live in Boston proper in a city apartment. I have a corporate job and work from home right now. I live alone and am in my 50s. My hoarding comes from a few places but mainly I like treasures. And books. And more treasures. Also, I used to like to be everyone's go to. So if something were on sale, say a bunch of cute erasers or so me note pads or this thing or that thing, I'd buy one for me and several others. Then I realized that I am not a store for people. People really depended on me to have an extra flower pot or this thing or that thing. And I've eliminated, with help from people here, that habit. I now buy one or even more likely, I buy none. I got rid of 20 boxes of books and now rely on my kindle. I still have plenty of books and I should deal with them again sometime. I make choices and some are hard and some are easy. I still have too much stuff, mind you. But I took many bags to goodwill on Sunday and that was a relief.

I got rid of cute dishes and great dishes and even dishes and things I was keeping out of guilt. And I still work on it all the time. Tatoulia is a name I made up and means nothing. It's a name I sometimes call my cat.

So I've been on here, I think, since around 2013. And you won't believe the progress I've made. I now have cleaners come in every two weeks to clean my house. And it's great. I had them last week and actually they are coming again this week because I feel like being pampered.

Things got out of control for me in about 2007. My apartment was cluttered and filthy. And I couldn't have anyone over. Oddly, I always changed my sheets once a week and made my bed daily. Now I can have anyone over except COVID-19 issue. A year ago my sister spent the night (she had never seen it cluttered so she had no idea what I was going through) and she said she'd never been in a cleaner house. I did not tell my sister that I have cleaning ladies. Last week a friend stayed here for two nights (the first I've had a friend inside since March) and she said she'd never seen a cleaner bathroom and commented how there isn't a speck of dust behind my toilet and nothing under the radiator, let me clarify: her cat was in my bathroom so she noticed from the cat walking behind the toilet, etc. I did tell my friend I have cleaners. so having cleaners has paid off for me.

Where to start? Anywhere! .Since getting your bedroom back would help you, how about you go in there with a bag and take care of the trash first. Start a bag of trash. Are you able to sleep in your bedroom? Because changing your sheets and making your bed will make you feel really good. I have to make my bed each day. But you might have stuff on it that would make it hard to make it.

So, between what I have said and what SubC has said, what do you think is a good place to start?

Oh and we support each other even when we backslide and do stupid stuff. We are supportive no matter what. Good group here. And if you ask us to badger you, we pull out our fictional badger. We are all trying for peace and comfort.

Are you on Instagram? Because sometimes I post pictures of my house on Instagram.

Okay, I got three bags of garbage out tonight and two bags of recycling. We didn't have a pick up on Friday and it's been a long week! Plus I had two cats here which meant two litter boxes. All set now!

Ok, here is my trick for losing the weight - pick out your very favorite outfit one size down. Try it on every morning. Try it on every evening. Try it on when you don't feel like exercising. Try it on when you are tempted to snack... when it fits, start wearing it and get rid of the larger clothes. Even if the smaller clothes are tight - wear them. You won't eat as much if your clothes are smooshing you.

We do not want to deny you your fancy dishes, but the first step to managing the stuff is stopping the inflow.

Most of us find it easier to put off or avoid acquiring something than to get rid of something. Especially now with covid, there is extra motivation to just not go places where you can get stuff - don't check the online sites.

For a long time I confessed every single thing I brought into my house here. If I saved a pencil from the yard at work, I made myself come on here and type out "I brought home one pencil." I'm not sure when I stopped doing it, but I recently noticed that I had stopped and that it made it easier to slide things in, so I am trying to start again.

When do you think you will be able to use the pretty dishes?

As for clearing things out - start anywhere - you can try to pick the easiest category and just get rid of one thing the first day - line up something you know you have too many of and get rid of your least favorite, grab one bin and sort through... whatever gets you started.

One thing that helps me is having a good place to take things - recycling has expanded in my area, and that has been huge. The place I sent my stuff today helps needy families in the local community. Maybe I can't afford to make as much of a financial donation as I might wish, but I can give up my extra stuff!

I also cancelled my trash service. I can throw away a little bag of food package trash when I get gasoline or in my classroom trash can (I asked - my boss said "if the classroom trash isn't full" - I don't make that much trash! Sometimes I hide my classroom waste basket so the janitor won't change the bag for almost nothing.) having to think "what will I do with this when I am done with it?" slows me down.

If none of that works for you, keep coming back anyway. Share what you are struggling with and everyone will try to help. Make ANY progress and we will cheer for you.

Wow, congrats, Subclinical! You got rid of a lot! Way to go... I want to be you someday!

As for the ten pounds, it's pretty high priority, actually. 9 or 10. Two reasons: one is health (the Covid 15 turned into the covid 40 and my blood pressure is up) and the other is I literally have one pair of jeans that fits and about 4 shirts. I would have to buy more clothes if I don't lose it... but I have plenty in the next 3 sizes down. I have a goal to drop that 10 this month.

I did not get rid of anything today. In fact, I saw someone giving away a pretty set of dishes and went and got them for free. Now there is another box in my garage... sigh. But they are so pretty and cheerful. My child is autistic and broke 90% of my dishes so we are using paper plates right now. The pretty plates in the garage give me hope.

Lila,

I will come back to talk to you, but right now I just need to brag and catch the daylight.

Two quick questions though - how high a priority is that ten pounds? Higher than the mess in your house? How much time and effort is it worth? Scale of 1-10(top). And what kind of thing is least hard for you to let go of?

So, the truck just left. 5 grocery bags, one giant plastic bag, one box (canister set), hot plate, shelf, chair, little two drawer chest, and some stuff Dh got rid of that I didn't second guess.

Lots of praise for me.

I wrote an intro post this morning... hope you all will read it and hope to get to know you better! Now this is my first post asking for help.

I don't know where to start. My routine to "get motivated" is what I am doing right now: drinking coffee and I have Hoarders on the TV (which gives me enough anxiety that it pushes me to do SOMETHING - but not enough).

I am going to focus on my upstairs right now. Downstairs is where my hoarder husband has his room and family room completely piled up. I can't deal with that right now or the other rooms down there. It is a split entry house and main living area is upstairs. My daughter's bedroom is okay, and she handles that. The main bathroom is also okay, she handles that. My own bathroom is 2/3 decluttered and not a huge concern. Living room is mostly decluttered (because it was Christmas) and clean.

What is left that I need to do something about:
Off the living room is the dining room. Not too bad (due to Christmas) but there are 3 tubs of stuff under the table and by the hall. It is stuff that I am keeping but has no home. The catch-all counter is there as well, piled with stuff that has no home. Kitchen is not too bad but has very limited storage and all the cabinets are overly full.

Hallway has 2 closets. I sorted and cleaned one already. The coat closet is decluttered for the most part. Both closets are totally full though.

Extra bedroom is mostly full of tubs of clothes and kid's toys that I am keeping for my grandkids, mostly already gone through. That room is pretty full but I rarely go in there.

Finally, my bedroom, the worst spot. It is a pretty big room and 90% of the floor space is tubs and piles. A lot of it is dusty. All the tubs have been gone through but are things I want to keep (clothes, tools, old photos of family, etc). Then loose piles of papers and things I 'should' do something with. Clothes all over the place that I either wear or will wear if I lose 10 pounds. It's just a mess and I have no closet space or anything.

How do I figure out where to even begin with this?

Thanks.