Oh boy. Have my work cut out for me. Got off phone with mom's therapists and I need to greatly reduce her things to make room for wheelchair. They have assessed her space and need me to get this done before Wednesday.

I took my vitamin b.

Isn't that a good feeling, Tillie, to admire our hard work? Glad you can see the cleated spaces. CM yes slam dunk the junk. I have zero sports knowledge dso can only enjoy it as a hoarder would!!

Cleaned out mom's fridge and her cabinets. Her food cabinet was filled with expired stuff. Her dish cabinet I rearranged and put her disposable stuff at eaay reach. Her cleaning lady said she'd freshen up the apartment before Wednesday. I have more work to do there and will try to fit in a few hours tomorrow. I haven't taken vacuum over or the carpet cleaner. Will have to do tomorrow.

I then visited her at hospital.

I'm going to head to grocery store now. Get a little walking in.

Keep up the good work!!!

Just a quick note before I take a nice afternoon nap. :)

I saw this sign at a car dealership on my way home from church and just had to share:

SLAM DUNK THE JUNK

It is no doubt their attempt to link college basketball March Madness with the idea of buying a new car. But for us it has a different meaning! ROTFL!

Happy Sunday!

Good Morning Everybody :)

Hi Tatoulia :)
Wonderful to hear about your walk home! :D
So happy that you got to enjoy some fresh air and exercise. (((hug)))
Wishing you a great day today. :)

Cold dark and cloudy today.
I am dragging after all the work I have done this week.
Today I will empty and scrub out the litter boxes.
That's it for chores today.
Tomorrow is a fresh new week to start up again with all the hard dirty work needing to be done around here.
I keep stepping out on the back porch enjoying looking at all I accomplished back there.
I have to turn a blind eye to his cluttered area but it's pretty much all contained to along side the garage.
Also, I am not pudgy any more.
And I have gotten a good over all workout.
:D

Wow! WTG CM, Porter, Tillie! Great work, great progress! I'm such a city mouse--so fun to hear about your land and gardens etc. great work!

I am enjoying a cup of coffee and running dishwasher and laundry. Going to change my sheets and then map out my day. I need to get to mom's to go done work there.

I bought vitamin B complex. And I will go take one now.

I did walk home from work Friday night. I haven't done thstvun a while and it felt good. I need exercise!

Hi Porter :)
You have done such a FANTASTIC job.
You have gotten your stuff down to a manageable amount.
You have cleared and cleaned the home
making it a safe healthy place.
You have been working with your daughter to help her with her stuff.
You have been working to keep the family unit happy and enjoying daily life.
And best of all you have also been making model homes, gardening and now you are living in the moment with simple pleasures.
I raise my marshmallow toasting stick in your honor. (((HUGS)))

Went to the storage unit.
I don't have anything there anymore. It's their stuff now. I spent two hours trying to arrange stuff I know came from my mom. Cause I'm going to eliminate it from my daughters hoard.
My mom has other grand children. She can give to them or donate it herself. But that's about all I can do . If NANN moves out it could all come back.
OR if
My wife moves bed to the dinning room it could all come back.
But there is no need to push.
A lot of things could change in the next 6 months. So for now I'm going to put more time into other things. Than the hoard. Because I've gotten as far as I can with their stuff. Mine is a hoard. But it's condensed Into stack able tubs into my room.
So I just need to focus on maintenance and locating a new home. That depends on my wife's health.
And where my daughter starts highschool.

So for now that spring is here. And I don't have a garage or sailboat anymore. I make a firepit for cooking meats and marshmallows. And seize the day.

Hi CriticalMass :)
Wonderful to catch up with your going ons.
WAY TO GO!!!!
For EVERYTHING!!!!! :D
Great that you are getting those inconvenient To-Dos all done together.
Good luck for GREAT progress making your crafting supplies more easily accessible so you can do them.
GREAT job tackling those pesky trees. I love my new pruning saw, cuts through so fast & easy, even 10 inch diameter parts.
Was 28.00 but I had a 10.00 off coupon for the hardware store. :D
I will do a few more smaller trees this next week but when the humming birds show up no more tree trimming because it's too hard to see if they have any nests, so tiny.
Thank you for your support on my decision to get those big dangerous trees down (((HUGS)))
Take a breather this weekend and have a GREAT week!

Happy weekend to all!

I'm at the library on their computer. Finally got the chance to read back through last several days posts.

We have put tree root killing stuff down the plumbing and can't flush potty or let water go down when washing hands, etc. So going out to eat or shop and use public bathrooms. By tomorrow night it'll be over. Between that and the bug man it's been out of kilter, but I'm glad to get all the hassle done at the same time. Next week, I'm hoping, will be a much calmer and straightforward time to regroup and have a little freedom to set my own agenda.

The push to declutter my bedroom has been a blessing in disguise - thanks again for all the prayers about it! It's down to some minor hotspots that I can tackle individually next week. Found places for my paints and polymer clay to be more accessible so hoping I can USE them more and esp. with the clay, reduce the backlog from when I bought more than I could keep up with. It may very well be that I make components out of the clay that will be incorporated into mixed media acrylic pieces. Plus some other things I want to sculpt - figurines and maybe jewelry.

Porter - your superpower of cleaning a room in 4 hours is an amazing skill - who knows, maybe you'll be a professional organizer someday, if you think you'd like to be. You really did have to grow up fast - sorry life at home was so sucky but at least you had those survival skills to make your own way instead of getting more beaten down by it. Many teens don't, and they may have a harder time because they're still there under the daily stress. Neither life is ideal but I think emancipation gives you more self direction. Just my two cents on the subject.

We have volunteer mulberry trees and hackberry trees - the hackberry are SO invasive and even the small ones you can't pull up. I think a reciprocating saw is probably what we needed the other night. We used a smaller saw and broke the blade, then I finally got this tree sawed off at the base with hand saws. It was tedious, but we did it! Soon we'll tackle the dead dogwood.

I'd like to give the sticks to someone who has a fireplace but don't know who it would be. After those wildfires, I'd bet we had been under a burn ban. The rain finally has come now, though, so even though we have the sticks and long dry grass it's less of a worry.

Tillie, glad you got your trees dealt with too. He will deal, albeit probably with an attitude. But they needed to be dealt with and you did right. Maybe you'll get a cool off before you have to deal with more trees? I like your term "demand resistance" - it's so me! I get grumpy if I was going to do something anyway and then someone or some deadline says I MUST do it, and I dig in my heels! I'm just a stubborn control freak like that. Ha ha!

Anonymoniker, good job on that kitchen cupboard! Bet that feels great!

Tatoulia, hope your mom, brother, and kitties are doing better everyday.

It would be fun to foster kitties, but too much stress with the two resident kitties, dog, bunnies etc. Maybe I will when I get my own place again.

Well, I guess that's enough from me; I'm just counting the hours till we can use the water at home and the week begins where I have more autonomy on my time again. Still need to keep up with the gym visits (and the laundry that results from them - swim towels etc. - and other laundry). And I want to get out and work in the storage on the nice weather days.

I should have no trouble finding things to do. LOL!

Hello :D

Hi Tatoulia :)
YEA!!!! WTG!!!!
for having the pleasure of that clear and clean kitchen! :D
Wishing you a wonderful time out today (((hug)))

Hi Porter :)
Very nice! There is nothing like a fresh garden tomato. :D
WTG! on that fence clearing you're up to.

Got up at 4:00am fretting about all the raking needing done in the back yard.
When the sun came up I got out there and started raking up years worth of leaves and sticks & etc. that he was supposed to have been taking care of all these years.
I didn't do his BBQ area and along side the garage where he has lots of stuff piled up.
He mumbled something about he'll do that area.
But I did do the majority of the entire area.
He got pissy and said "there are no more trees" as he was standing among three beautiful cedar trees.
Guess he sees what he wants to see and to him all the trees are gone. (shrug :P)
That's enough for me today. I am exhausted and sore.
Still have to do the other side of the back yard on the other side of the garage where I need to also re-do that fence.
Maybe next week.
Beautiful weather today, sunny and warm when you're working bit chilly when you take a break.

Up early . I went out and dug up the first link of fence. This is be best way I know of to keep weeds under control and trees from getting a start along a fence. It's exhausting , so one link at a time isn't too hard. One on Friday, one on Saturday, one on Sunday. I have 40 links of fence. It's a ten week job if I do one more link sometime during the week. Plus it's a little bit of strength building work out.

I'm also planting tomatoes. I drilled five 3 foot holes with my auger right in the center of the yard.the Sun shines in that spot for dawn to dusk and tomatoes love that.
I filled the hole with sticks and burned them to raise the ground temperature. And I water with hot water until ground temperatures are at 55 degrees..
I keep a small hole near the plants to fill with hot water. There are better ways to get early tomato, but this just what I do. But I also added some potting soils to balance the acidity.
I choose beefeater tomatoes. And I've planted so many because I like beefeater green tomatoes. I may very well have moved by then. But a good early start. Will get back my investment. And the tending in the early phase is the biggest factor.
I like being the first to get tomatoes well before 4th of July. And eating the green tomatoes starting In May. They help make my fasting days almost cost nothing 3 days a week. And when fasting I simply am crazy about the tomato oil from handling the plants. On my hands and fore arms. When I fast fast my sense of smell is more attentive. And I love it.
Plus red tomatoes are a cancer fighting food. For the antioxidants.

So I'm glad it did it. Albeit impulsively. I use other things to keep the chore of weeding to a minimum. Especially since its smack in the middle of the backyard lawn.

Also I harvested and ate dandelion lea ed and had a dandelions. Salad while this the time of year wear I can tolerate the grass taste. This always prompts me to do a liver and colon cleanse. A week or so after the time change.

Good morning! Nice to see everyone here!

Yesterday AM it was so nice to have the kitchen counter clean and clear and the sink completely cleared. I felt the same way when I got home from work last night. I need to remember this.

Going to spend day with brother. Take him shopping and visit to hospital with mom.

Have a great day, everybody!

I enjoyed the rambling post ;)

Just had lunch.
The winds have picked up quite a bit.
Dark thick rain clouds have formed.
Getting some miscellaneous stuff caught up inside.
Have made macaroni salad and iced green tea with fresh lemon.
:D

Three hours is a good enough start.
I had the women folk buy me tools for presents on father's days. Since they dont do the yard work or trash, i have them pitch in by helping out with equipment costs. Not that being female has anything to with anything. Its just a role we play have agreed to play.
SOooo,
I had the by me a recipricating saw for cutting small trees. Thats my next step. Ill spend 3 hours cutting the mulberry bushes down to the ground.
I do keep some of the sticks in box packed i. Like straws. Its kindling. The dryer the better. Having the reciprecating saw makes the chore like playtime. We'll be moving soon ,but ill just do everything like normal would until we actually make the move. Since we were overrun by mice i know wiring could be a fire issue , so i for one want to move when as soon as possible.

The bushes make for great fire starter, and the old branches the fell off the enormous dead tree , for logs. I use an axe. Remake divots. And build fire under the divots. This cuts the logs for me with out great effort. I figure I get selected for the TV show ALONE. ILL MAKE. a mini cabin. And deadfall Log traps. So I'll be practicing using fire to cut large branches and felled trees into usable logs.
I can't figure why everyone makes temporary shelters. If the challenge is too last through a winter , then temporary shelter won't do.

What will do is log shelter. Using fire to cut wood to size is the key to saving energy. Plus it makes charcoal and torch cloth. Key to fire building skill and water filtering.

When I was homeless, by the River , I knew I was getting sick because the water was contaminated.
So I positions myself between the river and the library. The library had clean water to drink. And I was checking books out for survivalist . At first I was ripping a few pointless pages out for fire starter. But I started hoarding kindling. And after two weeks I had an abandoned car full of fire supplies. I left enough room in the trunk to sleep without being seen . From a survival stand point.
I was 18 .
My dad made it clear I was not welcome at his house with his new family.
My mother was jack crap crazy at that time. She was abusive to me. I stayed with grandma , but she died. And the ownership went to another family.

So I went fishing , I fished alot before it all went down. I knew the geography, so it's wasn't like I just went from. A house boy to a river rat overnight. I slipped into a survival mode slowly.
I was able to live with mom if I wanted to. But like I said , I was being abused. Smacked and yelled at constantly.

So I had water at the library, fish in river, survival books, an abandoned car for shelter.
On cold nights there was an overnight laundry business. It was warm there and the bathroom had a shower head in it for rinsing clothes. So it was a choice , I was going to join the military, but I just stayed in my routine for the Summer.

So I still hoard sticks to burn. Because they are best extremely dry.

Sorry for the rambling post.

Good Morning Everybody :)

HI Porter :D
Lovely to use your real name (((hug)))
Fence work.....
I too have some to do.
The fence line on the far side of the garage has been trash for years.
All those trees were growing up through it and smaller shoots/branches twisted everywhere.
Now that the trees are cut down I need to clear that area out and rebuild the fence properly.
Plus he has been dumping/storing big heavy things over on that side of the yard.
There is also a nasty twisted smaller tree on the side of the garage I need to take down.
Going to be a long hot miserable job.

Hi Anonymoniker :)
WAY TO GO!!!!!
GREAT job getting that cupboard emptied and finding your collector plates too! :D

Some people believe that one reason he hoards is because we spent years living in a converted bus on an island in the San Francisco/Sacramento delta area.
It was beautiful there. Had to take a ferry boat to get on the island and there were sail boats and yachts berthed there.
It was paradise. :D

Hi CriticalMass :)
YEA!!! WTG!!!
Happy that went well and is all over & done now.
Good luck with your Spring clean (((hug)))


Been wondering where my motivation went...
But thinking about this week, I have done a LOT and am just physically and mentally exhausted.
Think I will move slower today and hope to be rested up by tomorrow.
Yesterday I did plant another dozen gladiolas and some rosemary & some assorted flower seeds.
Hope tomorrow I can get the back yard raked.
The back fence line is cut in half by the garage in the center.
The part right behind the house is where my clothes line is and I have a patch of grass under the clothes line.
That's the part of the back yard we can easily see so except for the hoarded stuff it really only needs a good raking now that the trees are gone.

Another drive by, but I want to sit down later and read the last few days posts, they look interesting. :)

Bug man has come and gone. We didn't get everything perfect but he is not overly picky. I'm told there was one in the past before I lived here who was. Hopefully this one saw enough to be able to tell there are no termites hiding. Hopefully there aren't any hiding!

A big Thanks to anyone who prayed or wished me well with all this. I'm finding the momentum to do a nice spring cleaning with this. Not done but will tell about it next post. :)

To be honest. I drank a protein shake.
I plenty of energy and protein flowing in my veins.

Wish I had more to say , but I've been a bump on a log today.
Decided to use my real name. Why not?

It's warm outside. So I may go along the fence and dig up everything fence work is so exhausting. I might as well get the equipment set out for taking the first step of the task.

Pain, i also lived on a boat for almost a decade. Part of my hoarding was from finally having the room to cumulate stuff when i moved out here, with all this property, rather that having to get rid of something in order to bring in something, for all those years on my boat.
My Dad died 21 years ago & my honoring his will is what tore me from my family since then, too...
I got the scary top of that kitchen cupboard cleaned today! YEA!!! It was full of BBs & dead spider parts & a dead mouse carcass & some sentimental Gone With The Wind plates id wondered what had happened to! It looks great so far! Im feeling really powerful having done it! :D Tomorrow the shelf! :D My friend has seemed in good spirits today. I think her husband is finally treating her like the gem she is...♡
Tillie, im really glad he is ok with it all!
~☆♡☆~☆♡☆~☆♡☆~

Hello :)

Hi CriticalMass :)
Wishing you much luck and success!!! :D

Hi Tatoulia :)
Thank you (((HUGS)))
Sleep when you are tired, eat a proper diet.
Keep getting out to visit and have fun.
Remember, you were very sick not too long ago and you have had an awful lot of stress lately.
There is this thing called "demand resistance".
We tend to resist when things are being demanded of us.
Meaning the house is demanding you clean it and you don't like that.
Try to make a little game out of things to help change it from being a demand to being a more pleasant idea.
Put on some music and try to finish something before the music ends.
Play beat the clock or some other fun game.
;)


Hi Pain :)
Thank you for your very interesting and informative posts. :D
That is a good feeling
knowing that you can clear out an entire room in 4 hours.
That's very empowering ;)

Hi Anonymoniker :)
Thank you
He has adjusted, back to normal again.
We had talked for years about those trees and the vehicles and he knew this all needed to be done.
Just he did not want it to happen but it's now done & over with.

Lady from the animal welfare group that helped me with my kitten issue in December called.
Wanted me to foster pregnant mamas and boxes of kittens.
She did not realize just how tiny my house is and it already has 5 cats indoors and a bunch more outside too.
No safe place to keep them. :(
But that sure would have been be fun! :D

Our posts crossed, Pain.

Well the dishes are put away and I have final load in dryer. I have showered and think now would be a good time to go to bed. Both cats are asleep. I hope they can be calmer tonight. Last night the hissing and fighting forced me to get up at 5:00 AM. on the whole they are doing very well. It's just when the crazy cat hours of 4,5 AM roll around and they don't have enough room to run,without running into each other.

Thank you again Anony for opening my eyes. So appreciated. I feel better about myself. I did wipe down kitchen counters today and that felt good.

Sending prayers and strength, CM

Anony--you raise a very good point. Thank you. It's not all that awful in here. I swear even 4 hours of cleaning would fix all of the problems. I need to make a challenge for myself.

Pain, I have to admit that I couldn't follow your point but I'm grateful for your words. I blame myself as I am a bit of worried tonight & I am just exhausted. I will say that I am amazed by how much cleaning you do every day. Really something. Tonight is trash night, which always makes me feel better about everything. I took all the recycling out earlier today.

My friends last night told me, sweetly and kindly, that I look really tired. Had a nice visit with mom today. She's doing very well. She's being very patient.

Thinking of you all.

After I got on my feet, and my family started talking again . My father died , 20 years ago.
He gave me the family sailboat. Before passed away in state title.
The family argued over everything else and in the end his $250K turned into $2,000 a piece except for the widow . The attorney took 75%.
Everyone felt entitled to the boat. I believe he felt guilty about sendinv me away when he remarried. And then finding out I was homeless on the river . My brothers only saw the boat as place to party and cheat on their wives. But I I always treated it like a home .

Thing is sailboats that size attract big spiders.
Since the beam and mast plus cable stays offer perfect places to spin large webs. I became a spider killer. Just put on plastic gloves and flick them with middle finger nail. I'm no longer afraid of spiders. But if you stand there and slowly sneak up them they react. It's the rush and smash they can't defend. I kill them at first light . Destroy their webs with brooms. If not they never go away.
I. CAn tolerate a few buy alot is unacceptable. So nest eggs must be dealt with on the spot at once. Get them gone.

I had to let the boat go.
It was like a death to me. My second home gone and the memories with it. I grieved for the boat just as much as when my father died.
I trying to adjust to life without it.
Basically all work and no play makes pain a dull boy. Now I'm home all the time. I guess the boat May have Contribute to the hoard mentality. As I could escape to there . And have a persona completely separated from the hoard.


I'm going to switch things up.
I'm moving to the ipad2 it's old , but is perfect for posting and reorganizing what info I glean.
I do recognize the Contributions all you put forth and share . I'm extremely grateful to be apart of what goes on Here.

I too for years would keep busy everyday , but couldn't get all done. Like more was being added than taken away. I little in , a little out, never getting g much done ,but staying busy.
I make a more relevant post about the difference between staying busy and reclaiming living space.

A few things that work for me , accumulated over the years. A foolproof method of clearing a rooms entire contents In Four hours. Is extremely empowering. Empowering to know I can reclaim any space and no possibility of failure. That's so not been in my tool belt. But has made real differences when deadlines and $ are short.

Good Luck, CM!!! Ill pray for you!!! ~♡~

Very speedy don't-blink-or-you'll-miss-me drive by

Big hurried stressful effort to get ready for the bug inspector guy tomorrow. Both of us tired and cranky. Prayers if you want to say some. Thanks!

Tatoulia, i dont understand how your house could be very dirty or unorganized cuz from reading your posts, you have been cleaning & organizing it a lot?!? Could it be in better shape than you realize?
Tillie, i am sooo happy for you having the nice change with those trees gone!!! You sooo deserve this improvement!!! :D ~♡~ ...i am nervous that he make take revenge again, tho...
Last night i had creepy nightmares...the wind howled all night, things creaking & banging...it dropped almost 40 degrees today & is gloomy windy & creepy...plus, either a skunk or a raccoon came in & got in the trash can as well as up on the bathroom counter...it moved my earing to the other side of the sink!!! I had to barricade my tooth & keys...id hate for it to take those...ha ha...raccoons are notorious for taking shinny(sp?) things! I still dont know how it got in...theres no evidence of it?
I need to work on the spider corner, but i feel so creeped out today...im thinking again of maybe going on some kind of medication....if i could get the clarity & energy & motivation to actually fix this place up, i do most any kind of drug made or grown!

Tatoulia, i dont understand how your house could be very dirty or unorganized cuz from reading your posts, you have been cleaning & organizing it a lot?!? Could it be in better shape than you realize?
Tillie, i am sooo happy for you having the nice change with those trees gone!!! You sooo deserve this improvement!!! :D ~♡~ ...i am nervous that he make take revenge again, tho...
Last night i had creepy nightmares...the wind howled all night, things creaking & banging...it dropped almost 40 degrees today & is gloomy windy & creepy...plus, either a skunk or a raccoon came in & got in the trash can as well as up on the bathroom counter...it moved my earing to the other side of the sink!!! I had to barricade my tooth & keys...id hate for it to take those...ha ha...raccoons are notorious for taking shinny(sp?) things! I still dont know how it got in...theres no evidence of it?
I need to work on the spider corner, but i feel so creeped out today...im thinking again of maybe going on some kind of medication....if i could get the clarity & energy & motivation to actually fix this place up, i do most any kind of drug made or grown!

I learned something today while listening to NPR this morning taking dAughter to school.

I try to paraphrase. I'm incapable of verbatim.

When we poor and desperate. We focus on short term solutions. Short term solutions are typical of low
IQ. Now what was meant . In my own words.

Even if we're very quick and smart , when we're in a rush , the anxiety, the stress of deadline. Or not enough money , not enough time. Makes us focus on the obstacles instead of the navigating our creativeness and resourcefulness to usurp obstacles to our goals.

Just thought I would share that.
I believe I recognize that in others more than I see it in myself.

I guess if I wanted to use that in a manipulative way. I could not someone down in a stressful goal.
They might not look up long enough to see they are in their own tunnel. While I could focus on the long-range.

I understand the change reaction. I been getting g my head bit off for years for putting things away.

Joan I didn't watch last season of alone.
I wanted to binge watch the challenges.
I still practice making the traps as models.most are to dangerous to practice and leave unattended. I could trap a bear. And wait until I needed it .
I've also worked in a mental facility as direct care staff for people court ordered to stay locked in. Alot of training and applied techniques. But I'm no match for a pissed off Marine.

When I was young after a break up with a young love I had so few resources , I retreated to the river , lived in abandoned places and fished for food. At first it was survival. But I began to thrive after going to library and focus on the long-term.
Eventually I bought a running car for $100. Got a job and eventually an apartment. Met a girlfriend and shared expenses. I tried to not just people - women if I didn't love them. But I was trying my level best to never go back to living off what I could gather. But I saw that I'm not a person to give up. I have no idea why I hoard. But I believe it's tied to my memories. I had a TBI. Although I seem normal on The outside. My thoughts are usually similar to ADHD. I was on stratera , it fixed a missing part of my thought process.

All people have caring degrees of time calendar in their head. After my TBI I Didn't realize it was clouded. But I couldn't see past my routine. Routine is a big factor in survival IMO .

When on the new my mental. Calendar could go out for weeks and months . Only a PDA could help me before the meds. But I lost insurance, and hated the side effect very much. So I let it go.
Perhaps if I were treated for Adhd early In life. Got my education accomplished when I was young and grew up with high self esteem. I would stay on it.
But I get by with out it. I have confidence that if an apocalypse occurs. As long as I'm not caught up in a war or territorial gang turf issue. I would survive .

But this info I hear on the npr today. Sort of clicks or resonates. When eliminate focus on the lack of money, and eliminate focus on the lack of time. The step tasks for a path to a goal seem easier to plan and navigate.

My other issue is priorities. I don't always remember my priorities. Perhaps I'm constantly focused on what annoys me. But that's just too much naval gazing .

Today I'm focused on routine and helping family live another day. I put all laundry away, and have hampers reorganized to better fit the routine. All towels and a second load of bedding linens.

Fixing a protein energy drink and vetting the mower ready. The city put a door hanger. We were inspected , and they cutting down our small trees .
I don't care , but I wish they would cut the huge dead that's a danger to us and our neighbor's. .
I wonder what I can do to get the ball rolling, the owner refuses to do a sssssingle bit of it.

Hello!

Stay strong, Tillie. I'm sorry about the tension and the worry. On a much smaller scale, I have that with my brother. If I have to do something on a day he thinks I should reserve for him, I get panicky and upset, worrying about the how and when to tell him and bracing for the response. I have learned to rip the bandaid off and just tell him, then I ignore the nasty response. But that's just a tiny part of my world; I know you need to brace and defend and decide, etc on a daily basis. Not easy.

Anony I miss the days when I just had people over. They could come in and maybe something would be out of place but not the disarray and filth I have now. I keep blaming the two cat situation, but honestly, my place is a pre existing condition looking for a new face to blame.

I know I am happier when the house is cleaner. I don't know why I choose unhappiness. I know I'm less tired when I do what needs to be done, but I keep justifying sleeping to help me pass the time and to avoid my issues.

Good Morning Everybody :)

Hi Anonymoniker :)
Good luck tackling that spider corner.
Now's the time before all the spiders return.

Hi Pain :)
He pays all bills online on his computer.
I have been requesting all financial information and passwords from him for a very long time and he has yet to comply.
So, I don't know the status of anything.

Hi Joan :)
I have found we are all much better off when we follow our own instinct concerning our health.

Hi CriticalMass :)

Hi Tatoulia :)
So happy you had a very good night out with friends (((HUGS)))

Well, he noticed what's different and he's seething.
Many times over the years I have discussed with him the dangerous condition of the trees and he has even agreed with me that something should be done before there is a tragedy or property damage.
There are a LOT of other things I have been doing around the place too.
Things that have just sat getting worse over time that he knew needed doing.
Things that he was supposed to do but never did so I have been doing them slowly but surely.
The thing is, he hates change of any kind.
Loves to sit in a rut (inside his hoarded garage on the computer) while everything around him decays.
Well, I live here too.
The house cleaning is taking a back seat while I do the yardwork he is supposed to have done.

Also, four of his derelict vehicles he still has been paying registration and insurance on.
NONE of them has run in this century or for decades.
Their tires are all flat, trees grow up through the engine compartments, rats and wasps nest in them.
He keeps saying he is going to get them running.
Well, I removed their license plates and turned them into the DMV yesterday.
I told him to cancel all their insurance.
If he ever gets them running again (he has NO mechanical skills) I will go to the DMV and get them re-registered.

The backyard looks so fresh, new and open now.
Tomorrow I need to rake up years worth of leaves and crap back there.
But today I am going into town.
Need to buy new pads for the cooler (it will be hot soon) and get some groceries.

Pain, youre probably right about the downside of having a guy around to 'help' me. The few that have, even ones ive hired, have not wanted to honor my wishes. My last boyfriend got so angry when i didnt want to do things his way at my house! Its funny how often when a woman insists on how she wants something done, shes a control freak bitch, yet a man who is clear about things he wants, has a 'vision'....but anyone trying to hurt my cats would get a rear end full of 12 gauge rock salt!!!
Joan, i hear you about following your own instincts!!! I too would be dead, many times over, had i followed a lot of advice of others, especially the ones accusing me of being paranoid!
Tatoulia, you are so right about keeping things light with my friend! I feel more confident in that now!
I didnt get to my pre-spider-season-corner till after dark & i got way too jumpy cuz everything looked like a spider, so for sure during daylight hours tomorrow!!!
~☆♡☆~Thank you all so much for being here!~☆♡☆~

Pain, youre probably right about the downside of having a guy around to 'help' me. The few that have, even ones ive hired, have not wanted to honor my wishes. My last boyfriend got so angry when i didnt want to do things his way at my house! Its funny how often when a woman insists on how she wants something done, shes a control freak bitch, yet a man who is clear about things he wants, has a 'vision'....but anyone trying to hurt my cats would get a rear end full of 12 gauge rock salt!!!
Joan, i hear you about following your own instincts!!! I too would be dead, many times over, had i followed a lot of advice of others, especially the ones accusing me of being paranoid!
Tatoulia, you are so right about keeping things light with my friend! I feel more confident in that now!
I didnt get to my pre-spider-season-corner till after dark & i got way too jumpy cuz everything looked like a spider, so for sure during daylight hours tomorrow!!!
~☆♡☆~Thank you all so much for being here!~☆♡☆~

Anony
Yes, he may clear it out, clean it up. But then he'll argue with about where the dishes go , and never cut down the dam trees, or take out the trash. He might bring his best friends over and the friend will chase the cats within inches of their lives.
I once heard of cleaning buddy system.
Maids were so tired when came home their own they just wouldn't clean nothing. But they agreed to clean eachother house once every two weeks while the other made dinner she cleaned with no problems.

If I was near you , I would help my neighbor.

Thank you everyone for your support! Having your advice, suggestions and kind words are helping me keep my chin up!

I had dinner with a few friends tonight and we didn't talk about my situation at all--at my emailed request yesterday--so we had fun catching up on other things and I've friend is getting ready for a long European trip.

I'm home now and just loaded the dishwasher. I don't have enough cat plates to feed the two as many meals (small) as they like in a day.

Mom is doing very well and I think one of the reasons is she's not worried about kitty living alone or being scared. She mentions missing Netflix much more frequently.

Anony, just be yourself with your friend--you are warm, loving, compassionate and you have a great sense of humor. That will serve you both well. Someone at work today asked if I'd speak with a friend of hers who has thyroid cancer and asked if I'd be willing to discuss my long ago thyroid..and she added, keep it light. So I did. I was candid and yet was able to keep it light and make a few jokes.

Joan & Pain, I enjoy your posts very much and learn a lot. Many many thanks.

Cm & Tillie, thinking of you both! We are having a cold and windy night.

Thank you everyone for your support! Having your advice, suggestions and kind words are helping me keep my chin up!

I had dinner with a few friends tonight and we didn't talk about my situation at all--at my emailed request yesterday--so we had fun catching up on other things and I've friend is getting ready for a long European trip.

I'm home now and just loaded the dishwasher. I don't have enough cat plates to feed the two as many meals (small) as they like in a day.

Mom is doing very well and I think one of the reasons is she's not worried about kitty living alone or being scared. She mentions missing Netflix much more frequently.

Anony, just be yourself with your friend--you are warm, loving, compassionate and you have a great sense of humor. That will serve you both well. Someone at work today asked if I'd speak with a friend of hers who has thyroid cancer and asked if I'd be willing to discuss my long ago thyroid..and she added, keep it light. So I did. I was candid and yet was able to keep it light and make a few jokes.

Joan & Pain, I enjoy your posts very much and learn a lot. Many many thanks.

Cm & Tillie, thinking of you both! We are having a cold and windy night.

Quick drive by.
I wonder what its like to load up a box full of clutter . Drive over to someones house . And leave the box? I mean if I ask for help clearing my hoard.
And they say no . I think it would be funny to give them some it.


Tillie.
Is he not even paying the old amount towards removal of trash?

Hello everyone.

Anony, so sorry about your friend. Keep in touch.
Tilllie, glad to hear about your trees. Tatoulia, sounds like you are manging to roll with the punches.

Pain, just wanted to let you know that I LOVE ❤️❤️❤️ the show "Alone". I started watching it at the beginning, two seasons ago on Vancouver Island. The women this season were really great in Patagonia.

No-one understands my living situation but me, so I guess that is why I relate so well to the show. I make all my own decisions, and my health is improving. If I had followed anyone else's formula, I would have been dead long ago.

Take care, everyone.

Pain, what i would give to have a man like you in my life...i have recently found myself fantasizing about having a partner that would want to help me with all this! I do think i need to do it on my own tho....somehow...

Last night i tred a bunch of times to post & it didnt take...i was afraid after all those tries, itd end up posting 10 times without me knowing....geeez...im on a phone so i dont think i can copy & paste.
~Thank you, Tillie & everyone for your suggestions in dealing with my friend & her illness! You are right,she doesnt want me to be all guarded, or morose..and yes, she will indicate a change of tone & last night she said she wants to laugh more & did i know of any funny comedies to recommend, so that was a good indication!
Tillie, how is it possible that he didnt notice all those trees gone?!!? ....tho my Dad was kinda like that too, and was a hoarder...tho back then that word wasnt used. He was considered to be an eccentric collector...& im so glad, for his sake!
Tatoulia, i laughed reading about all the extra loads of washing cat food bowls! You are such a good cat Mom! You are a great caregiver of everyone around you! Please do take care of yourself as well as those around you?!
Yesterday a friend invited me to a drum circle near where i lived & i initially panicked over her coming here to pick me up, then realized where i could meet her & park my car, with the true excuse that i live so far away & its hard to find...id really love to have my place fixed up enough to have people over someday soon...
I did get some stuff done yesterday & it did make me feel better! I also realized spider season will be here soon & i need to get the kitchen cupboard corner cleaned first! That is today's project! My progress is very slow, but it is happening! :D

Last night i tred a bunch of times to post & it didnt take...i was afraid after all those tries, itd end up posting 10 times without me knowing....geeez...im on a phone so i dont think i can copy & paste.
~Thank you, Tillie & everyone for your suggestions in dealing with my friend & her illness! You are right,she doesnt want me to be all guarded, or morose..and yes, she will indicate a change of tone & last night she said she wants to laugh more & did i know of any funny comedies to recommend, so that was a good indication!
Tillie, how is it possible that he didnt notice all those trees gone?!!? ....tho my Dad was kinda like that too, and was a hoarder...tho back then that word wasnt used. He was considered to be an eccentric collector...& im so glad, for his sake!
Tatoulia, i laughed reading about all the extra loads of washing cat food bowls! You are such a good cat Mom! You are a great caregiver of everyone around you! Please do take care of yourself as well as those around you?!
Yesterday a friend invited me to a drum circle near where i lived & i initially panicked over her coming here to pick me up, then realized where i could meet her & park my car, with the true excuse that i live so far away & its hard to find...id really love to have my place fixed up enough to have people over someday soon...
I did get some stuff done yesterday & it did make me feel better! I also realized spider season will be here soon & i need to get the kitchen cupboard corner cleaned first! That is today's project! My progress is very slow, but it is happening! :D

Found something to do.
I know it seems like I'm non stop doing things.

But that's not always been the case.
Three years ago I tried to get on that TV show .
ALONE.
ITS A SURVIVAL challenge where you get to take some gear ,but you're alone in a hostile wilderness . You win $500,000 if you're the last out of ten contestants to remain .
Rule #1 spend all your energy improving the situations.

I am doing this in my everyday life.
I have routine days but when I FEEL like doing something to improve my situation. I look for something .

Today I found all my canisters that I keep in the cupboards could be cleaned and some purged.
They are thick acrylics, and have a rubber seal with a metal clamp . So they are even ant proof.

So today I made a list.of which ones need emptied and cleaned, which ones need used up before expiration and which ones could be better organized to make usable space.
But I'm washing every single one. And I'm making it a chore to put on my spring and fall cleaning.

There are very few sings of mice in the kitchen now. And I catch 1 in the kitchen about 1 in every five day or so. So they are not getting into the food anymore.

I don't know if this will help anyone, but it bounced through my head.

For worry , especially chronic worrying, one practice is take 5 minutes a day to make a list of your most pressing worries. About 10 to 15 .
Then take 15 minutes to dwell on the worries .nothing else. Just worry our hearts out. Then write down 2 solutions for each one. In five minutes after dwelling on them.

Then throw away the paper.

Do this daily.

It works for couples too with a little variation and a serious effort.
I'll come back later with the nutritional
Synergy food for the Bs.

Today I'm just taking a relax day. Except for fixing dinner and doing a load of laundry.

But that means I'll be on prowl to urge someone to purge something. I've figured every four days I go after them so it's not absolutely nagging nonstop.
And every fourth is a frivolous number of days that I keep to myself. If I don't prompt them the remain unchanged if not collecting more things.

The common areas I just do it all myself.
Their personal areas , I try use as their personal boundaries from me so I nag at them in their space.
But when and where I see neglect I prompt them .
If I prompt them twice and they don't budge.
I go in to their space and deal with it and come back and nag them till its like a pain to hear.
Then I try to leave before it gets to the point of out burst.

When it was a hoard of mess and disorganized. It was like ripping off someone's bandaid. But nor I have to remove the bandaid gently or it becomes my pain.

Tillie that is a good point re vitamin depletion. I will go to store today for some vitamins. I think mentally I'm exhausted and I need to push through that.

I'm working from home today and need strong focus. I'm enjoying a cup of coffee as the cats eat.

Hello everyone.

Congratulations on the trees, Tillie!
CM I am a master at decluttering other people's homes. All that junk vs my treasures!
Anony, I'm sorry about your friend. I try to just be myself in tough situations but I also listen to see if I need a tone-shift. It's tough but you'll find the words.
Pain, keep up the good work.

Saw mom after work then slept. Cats are OK. They are trying to keep it together. I am tired a lot and trying to balance things.

I have to run my dishwasher every night. The cats use so many dishes it is really something. They are little eating machines. The little one, mom's cat, goes through a lot of food. She doesn't vomit and she seems to be fine, meaning it doesn't seem to be nervous eating. My cat seems to be eating less these days. It's hard to tell. Tillie, I had no idea how the work is exponentially harder with two cats.

Everyone, looking forward to seeing what tomorrow brings. For me, I'd like to do some more vacuuming and maybe some sweeping. I need to clean bathroom too.

Hi Pain :)
I do have a burn barrel.
I live out in the county and am allowed to just burn anything anywhere on my property any time I want to.
Except when the winds are blowing or there is a red flag wildfire danger warning issued.
I do burn a LOT of stuff. :D
I am glad that you and your wife & daughter enjoy just normal daily pleasures together. (((HUGS)))
Laundry...
I try to do a load of laundry whenever there is enough to do one.
It's not like I have to take it down to the river and beat it on the rocks.
Simply load the machine & turn it on.
Hang it somewhere to dry, fold & put away.
The change from Winter to warmer weather causes more laundry as I pack away freshly washed unneeded stuff.
Then Spring clean and swap out the drapes for more lightweight Summer curtains.
But most day to day stuff is easy to keep done.

OK Just checked and I do have marshmallows.
But they are the mini ones for use in hot cocoa. ;D

So far he has not noticed the trees are missing ;P

Get some marshmallows Tillie
Do you have a fire pit?
If not get one.

At first it's wieners and marshmallows, then one day it rids you some wooden objects in the hoard.

If you have a burn barrel. Then never mind. Just a thought .

Mother in law smothers my wife with gloom and doom.
I'm so glad when she leaves for days because we get back to listen to videos and falling about food and friends. Things to do that were forward to . Then she comes back and it's just tears and sniffing. Nothing wrong with it, just wish NANN could be more a friend to daughter than rehashing how tragic it is.
But In no way do I say anything. But I do try to replace her care giving , with my wife's friends.
Not that is hospice yet. So really it's just about sitting g with a friend. That's great advice Tillie.
And anony it's perfectly normal to feel what your feeling.

I have adapt my routine to the washer issue.
It takes a long time to do laundry now due to having to turn the knob manually.
So now I do it everyday while cooking dinner.
I'm in proximity and it spends no more time doing that than the dinner time.
So 1 load a day for now.

HELLO :)

Hi CriticalMass :)
That is very common.
The reason it would be so easy is because you do not have any personal ties to all that stuff.
It's when it's our own stuff that decision making becomes hard.
;)

Hi Anonymoniker :)
Thank you :)
About your friend...
Her whole world has been turned upside down right now.
What she really truly wants is just her old life back, the one she was living before the diagnosis.
You can give her some of that by talking to her just as you always have.
Don't talk about all the medical & sad stuff unless she wants to talk about it.
Do not mourn.
Celebrate the time you are together.
Be the same friend to her that you have always been.
(((HUGS)))

Weather here has turned very windy.
The tree guys have cut down 4 of the 5 trees today.
They chipped lots of branches and sectioned lots of logs.
They will return tomorrow and finish up the job.
The yard looks so different.
OPEN is the word I would use to describe it.
Someone is due home from work in about an hour.
Wondering what his reaction is going to be.
He knew this really needed to be done.
The trees were dangerous.
:D

I'm so smiling at you critical mass!

Hi all!
Tillie, im so happy the troublesome trees are getting cleared! That should change the whole feel of things at your place! YEA!!! :D
CM, ive often noticed myself having urges to want to clean up other's messes, too & thought how very odd?! And for some reason helping others with their messes, or even washing their dishes, always seems far easier than doing my own?!!
....it took me a while to read these posts cuz i keep crying & then couldnt see to read...whenever something upsetting is happening, then everything seems bad...i also am now having trouble with what to say to my dear friend with....cancer(its hard to even type that)...we usually text almost daily, but now i feel like i shouldnt be telling her 'trivial' stuff, or funny stuff, cuz it feels like im making light of things, yet i know being heavy & serious & scared isnt good either...i want so much to help her...im also looking at my own situation & wondering how much i should take on at my age, as far as putting in a new building to live in, a greenhouse, etc...
I feel so down today, but i can tell ill just keep spiraling downward if i indulge it, so when i finish my tea im going to work on the living room some. ~♡~