Happy Monday evening.

I just got back from a gathering of friends and family members of my loved one who passed away last week. There were some people I hadn't seen in literally over a decade, and it was wonderful to finally see one another face to face again. Rather than being a time of crying, the gathering was fairly joyful (as these things go). The actual funeral service is likely to be more somber, of course.

Most of my posted goals for yesterday got shifted to today. Got some of them done while on chat this afternoon. Also got a little bit of kitchen work done.

Melody, I'm glad you're joining us here on the message board!

I probably won't get much done tomorrow in terms of clutter and cleaning because of family matters. I hope to get back on a more regular schedule starting Wednesday or Thursday.

Hugs to all.

Hello everyone! Diane, what a lovely day you had! I hope you stayed peaceful and avoided the roof! That was such a nice picture you painted of walking around the lake with your friend.

Melody, during my recent de cluttering, (which I secretly call "de-sh*#%£ing the house,") I got rid of many, many cards and letters. I had this moment where I realized I was keeping them to prove that I was loved. And so, I was able to throw out cards from the bookkeeper at my job from 20 years ago, when I had my appendix out (that's an extreme example, of course, but it is something I'd kept all these years) as well as scads of Christmas and Birthday cards. I was able to get rid of almost all of them. Kept one from my father, one from each grandmother, and pretty much tossed the rest. I don't know your reasons for hanging into the paperwork, but honestly, for me,as soon as I realized my reasons for keeping these things that clutter my life, I was free. I feel very lucky and don't even miss a one.

Tillie, I so wanted to clean my bathroom today but day got away from me. All trash is out, all recyclables out, had to throw out plants on window boxes (too gangly) and vacuumed bedroom. Kitchen still clean and orderly. What a pleasure to cook and not have to move the piles from the stove. Nothing on the counters or stove, and nothing in the sink. Another moment of freedom. Then went to my mother's to help her with an unexpected problem.

Much love to everyone. Hope to hear from you soon.

Hello all. Tillie happy to hear you are feeling better, since you are doing a lot today, I assume you are feeling good.
Welcome Melody. Hi Tat.
Today I went with friend to lake and walked around it. The day was so beautiful, perfect weather, which is rare this summer. So wonderful being out in nature, very few people there, just a great day. When we got back to her house I discovered her dog had fleas, she took him to the coast last week and he was acting strange. It is rare to have fleas on high desert, any home remedies? we put some lavender oil on hair, I know bugs do not like lavender, I think she has to get flea powder.
Since I have been home, been just sitting. Perhaps no work here today, was hoping to go on roof, and here I sit. Maybe taking today off is fine, will be eager to work on roof tomorrow. Plan to put tv in kitchen to motivate me to do dishes and finish some things in there tonight. I feel peaceful and content after being at the lake. Tillie you are so right to remind us to have balance in our life. Sure hope this week is better than last for you tillie. You are such a help to us. hugs

Thanks, Tatoulia, for the congrats and the welcome. :D

Thank you, Karl! I will indeed try to be here Tuesday night. And will stop by in the meantime.

Tillie, I appreciated this morning's "Remember to smile and laugh as you work through things today." I needed that.

Today I worked my way through several shoe boxes stuffed with paper junk (old bills & such) and a suitcase full (35-year accumulation) of greeting cards & letters. Hooray for progress! There's still soooo much yet to be done, but hey... baby steps, right?

One day at a time...

Good morning, Tillie. Glad you have cooler weather. We've enjoyed a fairly mild summer in the east but this week heating up to the 90s. I think I'll follow your lead today and clean bathroom. I'll report back on my progress!

Congratulations, Melody, on your pregnancy AND on finding this group. You've come to the right place. The support I've gotten here allowed me to make drastic changes in the amount of stuff I have. And I had a lot, believe me. And before I found this group, I had cleaned out a trash hoarder's apartment (it took me six weeks of daily visits--but could only do a few hours at a time since I couldnt/wouldn't/shouldn't use his bathroom).

Glad to see you here!

Hello, everyone! Melody in northwest Arkansas. Hoarder & child of hoarder (my mother).

I'm 19 weeks pregnant (my husband & I have been married 11 years now, but this will be our firstborn), and I'm trying not to panic about my clutter situation. I still have so much to do before this baby comes! I have GOT to clear out a LOT more space than I have thus far. I try to get a little bit done every day, but don't feel like I'm making enough progress. It's such a massive, daunting task... and most days I just feel completely overwhelmed.

I was able to "attend" the beginning of tonight's meeting/chat but then lost my connection (we've got satellite internet out here). I've just discovered this support group and I'm so glad to have found it... I am in dire need of some support, encouragement, and inspiration... and I am already finding that here. I mean, don't get me wrong -- my husband is plenty supportive... but he doesn't truly understand what it's like, mentally / emotionally, dealing with all this STUFF. As I read through some of the threads on these message boards, I am already feeling "at home" here. :)

So nice to "meet" you all.

ROXIE, THANK YOU FOR POSTING! I MISSED YOU AND WAS CONCERNED.

Good to catch up on everyone's posts. Yesterday I made no progress on my place but I did get family obligations taken care of and spent time with a girlfriend. Today I dealt with a bag of stuff I'd thrown in my closet about two, three years ago. Wasn't as bad as I'd built it up in my mind and 80% can go to goodwill. Keeping only four silk scarves and some antique embroidered quilt squares. The rest is leaving town today. My brother will take me to goodwill. I could take myself but my brother is isolated and it gives him something to do. So I get things out of my house and he gets himself out of his house. Frequently we stop for a cool drink such as a seltzer so it gives us a nice little outing.
Also, when I have heavy stuff I appreciate the door-to-door service!
Again, happy to hear from you all and celebrating your victories with you! Thanks for helping me to get myself moving!!!

Good morning! So great to hear from everybody. Roxie, we've missed you so much, and it's so great to know that you are well enough to be posting again! Many, many, many, many hugs! Thinking about you and your situation, bitsy! Tillie, I'm glad you have a new laptop! I hope you really enjoy it! diane, I'm glad to know you are taking more and more steps to have fun! I'm glad you tried the "boiling water on the ants" technique. I'd been meaning to suggest that one. Hope it helps.

I have a lot of other comments I'd like to make to others, but I'll save them for now. Still dealing with details related to the upcoming funeral for my relative. It will be held early this week. In part because of preparation for the funeral and in part because of other (more upbeat) reasons, I might not be at chat tonight. We'll see. I do hope the new people who joined us Tuesday night are able to come to tonight's chat!

I spent much of the day away from home yesterday and didn't get a lot of cleaning or decluttering done. (Got a little laundry dealt with, but not much else.) Did get a fair amount of cleaning and maintenance work done the two previous days, though, with the help of those on chat. Today, I plan to add to my gratitude list, spend some more time cleaning out my vehicle, make sure I have appropriate clothes ready for the services, and spend some more time scanning some family pictures. I will probably also get together with family members today, as I often do on Sunday.

Have a great day, everyone!

I got a phone call so sent last post before I was done, since I learned to send sooner or can lose post. This morning I worked in yard a little, had some fun, then thought, I would try using a newer cement like duct sealant to make rock sculptures. I did several and had so much fun. Went up on roof and poured a gallon of water on the roof where I thought the leak was coming from. I was wrong. Decided I really did not want to work today so that is why I did the rocks, just time to have some fun before I get too frustrated. I called a friend and cleared up some things that caused some discomfort, worked out great, feel close again and we are going to a lake on Monday and walk around it, maybe 3 miles, will be good to be in nature, been too long.
I did vacuum walkway and freezer room Walkway had gotten junk on it when ripping off roof crap, some blew into freezer room, and from my shoes. I finished putting roofing into garbage cart that was in front, so that is clean now. There is more in back yard in a pile. I have sprayed all the red ant mounds in back yard and driveway. Also poured boiling water on them. Neighbor used gasoline on his.
Pulled more weeds in driveway.
did dishes this morning but already have a few more to wash.
Cut chicken off my bird I bought at Costco Thursday. Froze some and am boiling the rest off now. Will let it cool, then make soup tomorrow. Guess I have actually done a few things, just feel like until I finish patching roof it won't count. I have to drill holes to put screws in metal roof cap, and that is what is stalling me on new metal roof. Finding the leak and patching it on trailer roof is the other thing that is bothering me. So happy I went to art fair yesterday and enjoyed my yard and rocks today, balance is important. So happy we have this support group

Best part of my day was reading your note Roxie. I think of you every day and was hoping you were in hospital getting healthy. So relieved to hear you are home and know to take it easy. No smoking by oxygen, that is what I feared happened when you did not post for days, so relieved you are ok.
I have heard several people say they are watching marathon netflix this week.
Today I was drinking my smoothie in lounger on deck while doing soduko puzzle, and knocked over full smoothie, it flew everywhere. I immediately cleaned it all up, moved the lounger, and realized I never did finish scraping and painting deck under recliner. So I scraped and painted that area. Worried ants will come and find smoothie that dripped through boards on deck, at least I cleaned all off deck as soon as I could, just can not get under deck, boarded all in.

Haha-I wrote take cats instead of take care. I do love cats!

WELCOME HOME, Roxie!!! Baby steps! Wish I were there to help you with your groceries and other things.

Glad to hear from Tillie as well! I binged watched Vreaking Bad so understand the fun that can be!

Will write more later on--just finished seeing Mom and taking her for groceries, then seeing ill family member and taking him groceries, now hanging out with BF before meeting a friend for afternoon tea

Take cats, everyone!

Happy to hear the job is going well, Barb. Re the toilet seat, I bet it will be easier for you to keep clean and keep the bathroom clean if you feel you have the right toilet seat. Sometimes "hating something" like particular carpet or dresser, can give me a ready-mades excuse for not keeping it clean and clutter free. Right now the only thing in my house that bugs me is a chair in my library area. It's nice and all, I'm just not crazy about it. I have a plan, though, and I'm keeping it free of clutter in the meantime.

Sticking to emptying my dishwasher and keeping all dishes out of sink. Ditto folded laundry. What a pleasure! Going to be another cool day in the Northeast. Hot days such as your weather, Barb,really take it out of me!

Wishing everyone a wonderful Saturday!

Good morning, everyone
I had a good week at work. Settling into a new routine can be tiring, but the workload and pace are manageable and people continue to be friendly and helpful.
Last night the young man mowed for me. I had to pay him extra. With all the rain we had over the past week, the grass was quite tall. It was very hot last night and he missed several spots and did not trim, but it is done and I won't get a ticket from the city.
I have not been able to make much headway on the clutter this week and was not able to have any workmen out. When the kitchen faucet was opened, the box contained the wrong one, so we had to contact the distributor and send it back. They discontinued making the easy-clean toilet seats I like. I was able to purchase one new one and had to persuade Lowe's to let me buy their display model off the wall at a reduced price. The other stores in town do not carry it. It is a little scuffed up, but I think a little Bar Keeper's friend should fix it. I know I am a little OCD, but I want my toilets to match.
This weekend, I will trim and weed outside, clean the kitchen and bathrooms, and start again on decluttering. I will need to pace myself. I have air conditioning , but temperatures will continue to be in the high 90s and it is easy to overdo.
Have a great weekend, everyone. Stay cool. I will check in Sunday night.

Oh boy things are unsettled for you, Karl. I hope you and your housemates are able to find a solution quickly.

Diane, I haven't felt like posting all week because I haven't done anything. I just think that we need to be fair with ourselves. We do a lot and as hoarders, it's not just about hard physical work, it's about hard emotional work. How'd we let it get so bad, how can we let go of this thing or that thing, why'd we spend so much money on useless stuff. We struggle and we cope and we work hard. Certainly we deserve to take a break without treating ourselves so unfairly.

Who knows what tomorrow will bring? Hopefully energy and a forgiving spirit.

Goodnight, dear friends.

Thanks for saying hello Tat. I feel so much better hearing from you and that I am not alone being lethargic this week, please do go to doctor. I watered things outside tonight and watched a show on PBS was feeling frustrated that I did not do more, then read your post and feel like forgiving myself and knowing tomorrow will be better. Hugs

Good to hear from you, Diane. I too haven't gotten any measurable work done this week. Glad to hear that you've been to the doctor! I'll try to use that to motivate myself to get to the doctor myself! I am exhausted,barely making it home from work before falling asleep for three hours at a stretch! It feels like thyroid meds are due for an adjustment. I am maintaining my house, however, so I'll take some solace in that. But honestly,without making forward progress, I feel like I'm not getting any thing done. Good for you Diane for getting a donation bag together AND getting some fun time in!

Let's not beat ourselves up for not getting as much done as we would've liked.

Thinking of you Diane and all of our friends here. Glad also to hear from LR. Missing Tillie, Barb, Bitsy, Karl, Dianne, Roxie and anyone I've neglected to mention. Check in when you can.

my long post did not post so will make this short, Tillie and LR and Tat, hope you have a good weekend
Ups and downs here, took donations to thrift store
Went to art festival by the river in Bend today, excellent art, so nice
Went to new doctor, wonderful woman.
Not much progress this week
dishes done

Good morning. Things are slowing down a bit today for me. (Well, I'm expecting to be busy, but it's more of a "flexible schedule" kind of busy.) My relative's funeral will be held early next week, fyi.

I had decided to look in my parents' house for some old photos of that relative (pictures from her younger days) that I could scan and send to her family. A container that had some of these old pictures (and yes, I did find some good ones) also has some of those not-so-beloved silverfish in it. Been reading on the Internet about how to get rid of those little critters. It's always good for me to have more incentives to clean and declutter.

Happy day. Hugs.

Sending you warm wishes, Tillie. I "channel" you every day when I defend my progress...of course, I'm merely defending against myself, which is easier than defending against someone else. Still, I am a formidable opponent and must take the time to fight the urge to just leave this or that, there and there.

Hope everyone is doing well. I haven't done anything new but haven't backslid.

Hi :)

Sorry for not posting much lately.
Trying to keep it together here & that takes all my strength and attention.
Hoping that things here get all sorted out soon.

Take care (((hugs)))

Thank you, dear LR, for taking the time to check in with us. Stay strong.

Good afternoon! Love that your kitchen is clean and clear, Tatoulia!

My thanks to all of you for the hugs and condolences. They mean a lot to me. Beautiful quote, bitsy! One of the positive things about a time like this is that it can bring family members and friends together for mutual support, people who perhaps hadn't been around one another in a long time. Such is the case in this situation. (This is the side of my family that has a number of members with "our" issues, by the way, so I will get to see a lot of "us" at the funeral services this weekend.)

Before I post this, I want to say that I could have sworn I posted this already this morning. Not only did I think I posted it, but I thought I confirmed that the post did "take." I'm confused. Maybe that's just my general state of being at the moment. Anyway . . .

Hugs to all of you.

Hello everyone. I can see that we have all been dealing with a lot lately. For me, I've spent the last several days trying to get my hands on some diagnostic study results for an I'll family member. Its been a nightmare, fighting with his insurer to get something covered but isn't due to some missing paperwork. His PCP hasn't been able to get it either so I took matters into my own hands and took a half a day off from work to get it dine. The usual call this number,talk to that person, only to end up at square one, being referred all around and ending up at the same place I'd called originally. It is compounded by the fact that I am not the patient and although I am health care proxy they require all thus other stuff. Eventually got in my car and started driving instead of phone calls. It looks like my hard work paid off and 8 think I have the right stuff now. Going to fax it all over the place when I get to work tomorrow. I wish I'd thought of just finding them on my own back in July when issue first arose.

I have not spent any time in my scary closet but let's not focus on the negative. The positive is I'm keeping up with clean and clear kitchen. Never a dirty dish on sink. Counters clean and clear!! Dining room table still looks very pretty. No papers! All laundry washed and folded and put away. It feels so much easier to be me.

I hope everyone is doing well. Please take care of yourselves. Barb, my heart sank when reading that you heard someone being called a hoarder. Oh boy.

LR2014
thinking of you with love and sympathy

"What we have once enjoyed deeply
we can never lose.
All that we love deeply
becomes a part of us."
? Helen Keller 

I am so sorry, LR. (((Hugs))) from me, too.

My condolences, LR.

Good morning, everyone. I wanted to let you know that my much-loved older relative that I've told you about passed away last night. (I was on chat last night and didn't get the news until I saw my phone this morning.) Thank you again for the extra love and encouragement you all have given me over the past few weeks regarding this situation. I probably won't be on the daytime chat very much over the next few days because of family matters.

Glad to have met so many new people last night on chat! Welcome to all of you!

I'll be reading posts when I can, but I may not be posting much during the next few days. Hugs to everyone.

Wow, sorry so many problems you all are dealing with.I almost did not come to this site today because I feel like I wasted most of my day being indecisive on how to do a few things. Did do dishes, watered some bushes. Used perimeter spray on red ants yesterday, today most appear dead so used it again. Found 2 more areas in back yard with huge ant colonies, same big red ants, sprayed the heck out of them, hope it works. Still too hot for me. Supposed to cool down tomorrow, sure hope it does. I found myself jumping from task to task and find it a big waste of time so tried to stick with one thing until done. Think I will go get groceries soon, also have to drop off donations.
Hope tomorrow is a better day for all of us

Hello,

Hoping today will be a better day.
Yesterday woke up with a migraine and then the well pump malfunctioned so I had no water.
A packrat was in the pumphouse area and ran back under the house when I opened the door.
Wrote a post here and when I hit "enter" my computer went blank & the post dissapeared.
Scooter scratched his eye on another cat's claw. Think it will be alright, hope so any way.
So far today the headache is gone and I have water.
Fingers crossed.

Take care everybody. (((hugs)))

Tatoulia and Dianne
Thank you both so much for your posts. My son had catheter removed last night and may be released to go home today. So now I am freaking because there may have to be home care, and he probably shouldn't come to house till he's more healed. to much stuff to trip over and not a good environment to be taking care of surgical wound and colostomy care. So I guess I will try to get a motel room. maybe extended stay. More money I need to spend on trying to un-hoard. This is how I don't get things done. one "crisis after another. overwhelmed. decisions, decisions. headache, nausea, etc.. Don't know about getting help.

I am sorry about your situation, Karl. I hope everything works out for you. It must be frustrating to have to keep moving.

I was eating lunch at work the other day in the break room and I overheard someone say, "Yes, she's a hoarder." I froze instantly. But they were not talking about me. They were talking about a woman that works in another part of our building. They said that this summer four people came in to help her clean and reorganize her workspace because it had gotten so bad. And they wondered aloud what her house must look like where she lives. And they wondered how long she will be able to keep her work area neat and clean.
No one at work would ever guess that I am a hoarder. I am super organized and super neat at work. You could say I am obsessed about it. My desk is clean and everything is put away before I leave even if I have to do it after I clock out. I have even been known to purchase color-coded file folders and containers for things I use most often so that I can locate them easily. This is because, for me, if everything looks the same, it becomes confusing and things get lost. If things look different, I can make decisions about where they go faster and easier.
And I was reminded again how alike we hoarders all are and yet how different. Some of us, like the other woman, are chronically disorganized. Some, like myself, have to be super organized in order to function. And maintenance is crucial. Once clutter reaches a certain point, we cannot deal with it effectively without becoming extremely anxious.
There are so many of us out there trying desperately to get back a life that has spiraled out of control. We just take one day at a time, one step at a time, do what we can for today, and trust that we will get where we need to be in the end.

Have a great day, everyone. Keep your eye on the prize!

YAY Diane! Congratulations!

i wrote long post (below) and it would not post, I copied it, closed this site, then logged on again and pasted it and it posted. I think it took so long to write previous post that I got timed out or something, so after reading posts about not being able to post, I wonder if it is a timed thing, if we take too long we can not post. Good reason to copy before we attempt to post

ianne I am so grateful that you updated us, I have missed you and knew you were getting help, so great that you have so much done now, amazing actually. So great you are not buried in your treasures now and your daughter must be so proud of her home now. thanks for letting us know
well, made my to do list
Got up on roof and attached the new metal roofing. Last guy here said it was a waste to use metal roofing and I should just coat it with asphalt emulsion, I debated, then thought, I like the metal roofing, it is already in place and it is 1/10 the work of the other stuff, so what if it costs much more, I like it. so I attached it, so nice to look at it and know it is straight and I did it myself. I figured out how to do roof cap, got it in place, then was too hot so came in to see what you are up to today. I looked over the other areas of roof, looking for areas that might leak, plenty of time for that. After chat last night I finished painting one side of 4'x8' osb board and then the thunder started crashing so moved board in walkway, I had a big spot light on it so did edges and today I can paint other side. Bought it to use where big garage roof has a big sag. Now not so sure, think I will just continue patching that piece of junk roof for this year, who cares how it looks, I never look at that side of garage, lucky neighbors do. I feel like roof is manageable now that I talked it over with you tillie. Balance today, so plan to wash a few dishes, clean bathroom, put a little clutter away. My good drill was put away last week and today I couldn't find it, reason for permanent homes. I moved it last week to a home, just forgot forwarding address. It had been on covered deck shelf, thought I should put it inside so does not get lifted, I am too trusting but since my RV rack got stolen, been trying to not leave good tools in plain site. My battery drill doesn't hold a charge for long so really want to find corded drill. I feel so much better after having two different people tell me they would not work on my roof, too difficult. Now I can do the best I can do and feel ok that it is not perfect, good enough to keep things dry, if not will help me toss stuff!!! I feel a little dose of happiness today. Chat really helped me last night, was so great hearing from others and what is going on in their life.
Tat, my friend, you have been such a great support and encourager for me this past week, and I thank you. Your kindness comforted me and made me so aware of the need to be kinder to myself. This morning I looked around at all the repairs, cleaning painting I have done and took it all in. The workers that came and saw the disarray had no idea that I painted the whole entryway, steps, deck, outside of freezer room and garage, so much improvement. I got devastated by their comments about how impossible the situation is, well I am making it useable inspite of crappy construction. Today I am proud of all that I have done, and with that said, please remind me when I am only seeing what I have not done or what I have done incorrectly!!! I love this group so much, thanks to all.