Thanks for that warm, kind, heartfelt post. You have given us the best gift, a place to connect and help each other have hope that life can be better. I am truly grateful for so much, especially this group and website. Thanks again Cory, you are a blessing to all of us.

woke up at 5:30, and could not go back to sleep so thought I will make the best of it, sad Tanner goes home today and I have to deal with being alone again. I was so pleasantly surprised at all the post on here today, makes me feel like I am part of a group, holidays have never been fun for me, just want them over with. Having all of you makes it so much better.
I am going to pay all bills today, online bill pay.
There is a bin of papers to toss or file, and want to make a can of pumpkin into something to eat with lots of cinnamon. Living room is not going to be a sorting area today, want all the crap out of here. I plan to only do maintenance the rest of this week, no messy sorting in here. I need the space to relax and maybe even do some crafting, just tired of working daily. I still have too many clothes, and if I get in the mood may put some in trunk, already have more donations in trunk. Plan to put one string of white lights up, just make it warm and cozy and cute in here. Thanks again for all the posts and especially for the kindness you have given me. Want to have a meeting tomorrow, 5PM PST?

Good Morning Friends!

I wanted to wish you all a very Happy Thanksgiving. Remember, now matter what position you are in there are always others that would look at you and say I wish I had that life! We create a lot of our own future by the decisions we make today. Use this holiday to remind yourself how fortunate you are and be thankful for what life has given you. Just make the best decisions and choices you can and learn from those that don't work out so well. You have a ton of friends on here for support and I am so happy to see you all using this board to be open and honest. Letting go of the emotional baggage is such a huge part of healing. You are all doing great work, even with backslides, your strength and support of friends will continue to lift you up. Have a wonderful day tomorrow no matter what your plans are. You are all very special people!!!

Your Friend,
Cory Chalmers

Good morning Everybody! :D

Wonderful to see so many posts!

Hi Dianne :)
Keep looking up at those stars! ;)

Hi Karl :)
GREAT! news about the truck and storage! :D
Good luck with finding helpers, my fingers are crossed. ;)

Hi Diane :)
(((hugs)))
Wonderful that you have nice home made soup.
I will be basically alone too tomorrow but I will be with you in spirit. :)

Hi MayMay :)

Hi Roxie :)

Hi Jess :)
Drive safely and have fun. :)

Hi to all who read and didn't post! :D

Another sunny with partial cloudiness cold, cold day.
Cats want to be fed but I will feed the fat little butter balls when I am good & ready to.
Woke up at 6:00am and have been reading the interwebs & drinking tea.
Have some granny smith apples and thinking about making an apple crumble.
I am still refusing to cook that small organic, free range, chemical/antibiotic free, humanely killed turkey he brought home. He is making plans to cook it himself on his big gas BBQ grill out side. ;D
Going to make myself some stir fry veggies with brown jasmine rice.
Hope everybody has a great anti-shopping spree and stays safe & warm.

Hi everybody, I'm back!

Really felt like I needed to come on here and read to try to stay grounded during the holidays. I get really bugged out by all the traveling and the stress of trying not to buy things I don't need. Also, I get a lot of gifts from people I love who are wonderful and they mean well but they have no idea how difficult it is for me to deal with these gifts. The last thing I need is more stuff. I feel crushing guilt when I get rid of the things people give me.

I haven't been doing a great job cleaning since the tornado. Today though, I put back some things I didn't need when I was at the store and I made sure to do the dishes before work. If I can be really productive tomorrow I'll be in good shape for the traveling I have to do Thursday morning.

Hi everyone! :D

Hey Dianne,
That's hilarious!... I had no idea that some stores do that on Black Friday. On Black Friday, what I always like to do is, have the guys arrive at the stores in the fire truck and then run into the stores with all of their firefighting gear on and yell "FIRE!" And then all of the people will run out of the store; and then we'll have the whole store to ourselves. LOL. ;) JUST KIDDING!

Hi Tillie! :D

Hey diane,
WAY TO GO today! I'm glad tanner is keeping you company. Are you maybe thinking about getting another dog? :)

Hi Karl! :D

Molly died one week ago today, still feel sad and hollow. Everyday the pain is a little less intense. I still have Tanner he has to go home tomorrow. It has been great having a "fill in dog" to help me get over the pain. His owner dropped by today and he really wanted to go home with her, She said she will take him home tomorrow for sure. I was so relieved he is here one more day.
Today I got the clean clothes off all the doors and walls, i hang them up after I pull them out of dryer, hang to finish drying, then forget to put them away, nice to see the walls and open the doors again. Then I cleaned off the end table by stove. Worked on more insulation around living room windows. Did dishes. Made soup and actually ate it, haven't wanted to eat this past week. There is plenty of soup for the next few days. Thanks for the kind words, this has been a difficult 7 days. I am worried about being alone on Thanksgiving.

Good morning :)

Hi Diane :D
Sounds like you found some lovely and useful items shopping at home. :D
WAY TO GO!!! on all that you got accomplished!!! :D

Feeling all better today. Taking it easy yesterday really helped. :)
Have some cat related tasks to do.
Need to tidy up the bathroom.
Then I plan to futz around in the pantry.
Little bit of dusting in there and I want to sort through items and straighten & organize it a little better.
Will make it easier to bake on snow days. :D

Hoping all of you are making solid plans of fun things to do during all this black friday shopping frenzy.
Try to stay away from all the tv, internet & newspaper ads falsely promising that you can buy happiness and inner peace.
(((hugs)))

another sunny day today, so happy it is sunny. I worked on the clothes on the closet door in bedroom. took other storm window off and cleaned it and put it back on. cleared out a bin of stuff, took cleaning towels out to garage. Got two bags of christmas stuff down, went through them and selected a few really cute things to have in here. Haven't decorated for christmas for years due to hoard, and couldn't find anything. I actually felt happy when I saw a snowman couple I bought at a craft fair years ago just so cute with wool coats and hats. Everything that didn't make me happy will go into trunk, already in black bags.
Found an old sewing machine in garage. Took it apart and cleaned it, and it actually stitches. I broke my other one. It is a cute baby blue. Really can smell the excess oil someone put on it. I will try it again tomorrow, about ready to have some fun. Tanner is still here, he will go home wednesday. I brought more firewood up on deck, I have been really using lots of wood with this cold weather. Called a friend and chatted. All in all, good day. Took Tanner for a walk to cemetary, and felt grief for all my losses, parents brother and molly. Walking home realized how tired I felt, then realized, I am depressed. will walk Tanner daily to try to get my energy up and depression down.

Good morning :)

Karl,
it was great to catch up with you in the chatroom.
Keep moving forward with the plans.
You CAN do this! :D

Hi Dianne :)
That desk sure is a major catch all! ;)
Great plan for today, making room on the desk for Sweet potato to walk around.


I am sort of taking the morning off.
Will do the cat chores and then some very easy other stuff.
Not feeling quite right and hoping the rest will help me shake this.

Have a GREAT new start to this new week!

Good morning :)

Hi Dianne :)
I once did a little jigsaw puzzle of a fat cat strumming a guitar & singing that song. LOL :D
Big WAY TO GO! on all you have gotten accomplished! :D
We are on our own well too & I have to always keep stored water on hand and with the possibility of blizzards in winter I always keep an extra supply of food, just in case.

Hi Roxie :)
Happy the animals will no longer suffer.
WAY TO GO! on dishes & groceries! :D

Hi everybody else! :D

Got 2 loads of laundry hung out on the line already today.
Cats are all fed breakfast.
Need to scoop litter boxes, wash & refill all the water & kibble bowls.
Then....
back to what I started yesterday.
Painting the area just inside the tiny walk in pantry doorway.
Did the right side yesterday, now need to paint the left side.
To do this I must empty the shelves of all the food & move the shelving.
Then paint, then wash the shelving, then wash the wall & floor, then put the shelving back in place, then wipe off all the food containers and reorganize them back onto the shelves.
Pantry needed a good deep cleaning anyways & I am having fun using up more of that paint I found when I painted the hall.

Hope to "see" you all tonight in the online support group. :D

Good morning :)

Hi Dianne :)
WAY TO GO! doing the maintenance, a very important task.

Hi Diane :)
Your livingroom is sounding like it will be a warm and inviting place to spend the winter doing fun & amusing crafts. :D
I am very glad that you now recognize when you are reaching your limit and stop for the day. (((hugs)))

Hi Karl (((HUGS)))

Hi Roxie :)
So very dangerous to run out of cat food! ;D

Saturday,
I have plans to not leave my house till after black Friday is all over with.
Have enough food for me & the cats and a box of kitty litter.
What more could any person ever need. ;)
Have a short list of things I would like to do today/tomorrow.
Went out in the snow covered back yard this morning and hung out a wash load of rags & cat blankets.
Supposed to get up to 45 degrees today, maybe they will dry.
Everything else on my To-Do list is just fun stuff I can do after all my daily maintenance stuff is done. :D

cleaned another 1/4 of bedroom today, it was Mollys area, and very emotionally draining. It is hard for me to stop working when there is so much more to do, and realized I am exhausted and need to stop. Now I am going out and bring wood in, it is still so cold, but want to stay out as long as possible, sunshine today

Tillie you make life so much fun, amusing yourself. Today I got up and refined my living room corner. I repaired the broken drawers under child size bed, and now they are filled with all my wool roving I am felting, so all in two huge drawers, easy access and no clutter. End table cleared off and now has just computer and printer. Took all cords apart, and wrapped in circles, so not a big kinked mess anymore. I am finally doing it the way it should be done, complete one area at a time, so it is exactly like I want, no piles in that section of living room, it looks SO nice, feel so lucky I have learned
from you even though I was resistant to completing a task before starting another. Slow, but steady. I am grateful I am using my pain to make life better instead of sitting in misery, the anxiety and emptiness allows me to have extra energy to focus on
work. I woke up today with no energy and feeling overwhelmed at the mess. I told myself to just start on one little area, and now that it is complete and looks better than I could have imagined, I feel so blessed I have this site to learn from, thank you all

Good morning :)

He has some paid time off work that he must use before the year's end or lose it.
So, he has taken today off & is here under foot.
I will try to work around him and hope he doesn't get in my way too much.
No hope he will do some work outside since the whole world is now slushy snow and mud.
My plan for today is to do the usual daily tidying up & cat stuff then find something to do to amuse myself.

What are you all up to today? :)

Oh Karl, Karl, Karl :(
Is there anyway, anyhing we can do to help you get packed, stored & resituated elsewhere?

Hoping you won't/don't "go there" but if they never gave you a certified, written eviction notice then you may have a case as to when the official move out date is.

The LLs probably already have a contractor scheduled to work in there and won't be flexible on the date.

(((hugs)))

Hi Diane :)
You did a Fantastic![/i job today! :D
Sleep well in your newly rearranged bed.
(((hugs)))[/color]

Roxie, I appreciate your story, could relate to it. Thanks Susan, yes part of family.
Today I worked all day inside. I cleaned 1/2 the bedroom, obviously the first time in years, the dirt was so thick, it is the last filthy room to clean. I took storm window off and cleaned it, moved everything on that 1/2 of room and cleaned behind it, and lots of stuff is in living room to go through. After making space and cleaning, moved day bed in there, it is so much more comfortable. There is no way to organize all that crap so have to be ruthless and fill more bags for give away. I broke down and cried at the amount of dust, wiped dust off wall, and wondered how I survived sleeping in that filth. I called a friend when I felt overwhelmed, she said just finish the 1/2 you are working on so you can sleep in there, and can finish tomorrow. So I hauled excess stuff out, put bed in and made it with clean stuff, think I will sleep better tonight after working that hard all day and bigger bed. the child sized bed is now in living room and is so much better in here, it is small and looks cute with pillows against wall, put extra foam pads on it so it is up high enough so I can see the view out window. I feel so good about the progress I made. The angst I feel has made me want to move and change things. Loosing my dog has made me feel so much pain, it has added a new perspective on how little value my hoard has, and I want people to be able to come in more than stuff. I feel empty and sad, and very aware shopping can not fill the void I feel.

Hi Roxie :)
the rainbow bridge website makes me cry buckets of tears, but sometimes a good cry is what we need. ;)

Hi SusanL :)
Thanks for the update and
WAY TO GO! :D
for getting the basement decluttered!!!

Diane, I am very sorry to hear about the loss of your pet. Pets are members of the family in our house. (((gentle hug)))

Been working on a basement cleanout. Good grief why did we let all that stuff come into the house. Talking decades of random things. Each item probably seemed like a good idea at the time. The young men doing the hauling were at the house all day, offered to feed them lunch. My cooking specialty: ordering pizza.

This cleanout was a long time coming. I've been picking away at it for 2-3 years now a little at a time, getting the "good" stuff out and putting it away or donating. I never thought I would be that kind of person, to have so much junk in the house. At least I didn't leave it all for the kids to sort after I'm gone. That would not be much of a gift.

Folks, keep up the good work, your stories have greatly encouraged me!

Thanks Tillie, especially telling me about your focus on your dog. I was criticizing myself for focusing so much on her, so was good to realize, that is what we do when they need us. And all the things you have said about taking care of yourself in the past. gives me permission to focus on taking care of myself.
Yes, good no infection, although the pain tells me will need to have it pulled, at least this dentist is $120 instead of $360 for surgical removal. Plus the $69 I paid yesterday for exam, xrays. So $189 instead of $364. To me that is a huge difference. And he was so nice as was his staff. The assistant used to work for my expensive dentist and she was reassuring. the drive is a long one, but a pretty drive. I told my friend that lives near dentist, that I was going at 11, she came to dentist and took me to coffee at the coffee shop there, I felt so comforted, and she didn't know about Molly. Life is going to be better, just aches now.

Good morning :)

Rained constantly yesterday from afternoon through the night but some time after I fell asleep it snowed! :D

Hi Diane :)
Glad you found some comfort in The Rainbow Bridge.
Happy you saw the DDS and have no signs of infection.
Be gentle on yourself and give yourself time and space for grieving. (((HUGS)))

Hi MayMay :)
Hi Roxie :)

Hi Karl :)
To keep him from having every dish laying dirty in his bedroom, years ago I limited him to only having 4 plates, bowls, forks, spoons & knives that he is allowed to ever use.
When I am washing dishes I know just by looking how many of each he has out.
I have him go find them and bring them to the kitchen to be washed.
He has managed to lose a lot of them, never to be found again, and I have had to buy him more dishes & silverware.
Any way, his cups and glasses are very special to him since they have pictures of Star Trek or Starwars or some special saying printed on them.
I used to ask him to bring them to the sink but he always said "NO" that they were fine.
He has been very resistant to allowing them to be washed and I never pushed it because he would have had a melt down and gotten extremely angry.
When he came home yesterday I had the glasses & cups all sanitary and shining clean, sitting in a clear area of his bedroom floor.
He said nothing. Was more quiet than usual all night. But I think he will get over it soon enough.

Hi again Diane :)
I see you have posted before I finished writing this post.
It took me a long time to get used to living without my blind cockerspaniel Windy.
Like you with Molly, I was always looking after her and trying to meet her needs to keep her safe and happy.
Never realized just how much of my time, energy and thinking was dedicated to her care.
(((HUGS)))

Today I will do the usual daily stuff.
The cats are all acting up because when they look out the windows they see snow.
Then I will get back to working hard (playing) in my little room.

Thanks maymay, for your kind words, and yes it is amazing how much comfort and understanding I got from reading posts from other grieving people. Realize it is normal to feel such pain, and now have to call two friends who lost pets last year, and tell them I am so sorry I wasn't more of a support to them, just thought since they had husbands, didn't need support, now I realize the husband is in grief too.

Karl and Tillie, it put a smile on my face this morning thinking of those moldy glasses he was drinking out of. No surprise he has intestinal distress.
I woke up too early with abdominal distress just from stress, but was great reading your posts.
Today I am planning on making soup. I think it is 1 degree yes, one degree, kept wood fire going all night. Water is still flowing, left a light on in little room outside where pipe comes above ground. Plan to wrap it with more insulation today. Also will check outside faucet, it is wrapped with insulation and bucket over it, black rocks around it. I am planning to stay home all day and work inside. Plan to take all the junk out of little bedroom, clean it thourouly and put a bed in there, now just has a child bed in their because had to have room for molly's bed. I will take the child sized bed out and put the daybed in there from living room. Had daybed in living room so Molly could lay with me while reading or watching tv. now am using little couch to sit in. I don't have a dining room table in here, no room, so could actually put table back in here if I want, or maybe just enjoy having empty space. I am starting to realize, without Molly, I have to think what is best for me, not used to that at all. I left tv remote on couch arm last night and now am surprised it is still there. Never could leave it in reach, Molly would chew it, the simple things I am grateful for, is what I am planning to focus on today. I am grateful to be able to relax today, I was always on red alert watching her to see where she might pee or puke and to comfort her, it was more exhausting than I realized. I still have that feeling of urgency, then I remind myself, she is no longer here, I can relax. I see the real potential to clean and organize things and have things stay much cleaner now
Gives me hope to focus on the positive and also spend some time thanking her for all the affection she brought into my life. she is missed

Hi everyone! :)

Just checking in to see how everyone is doing. I feel kind of guilty that I haven't been on lately. :(

Diane,
I am so sorry to hear about Molly. I'm glad that reading all those posts from the grief website has helped. Way to go on vacuuming the living room. And I'm sorry to hear that your tooth is in pain. (((HUGS)))

Tillie thank you so much for the rainbow bridge pet grief website. I read many posts and it helped me so much, felt less alone reading so many posts of people grieving the loss of their pets. One guy said he lost his bichon frise at 13 years 4 months, for some reason that was so comforting, Molly was 14 & 1/2 y.o. I kept remembering hearing bichons can live to 18 yo, so reading his post let me know it was ok that she died at 14. I read for a few hours on that site, shed so many tears, and felt some relief. This morning finished packing 2 large garbage bags of donations from in house those bags are in my trunk. I packed her bed and other things in a bag that is in the garage now. I vacuumed the living room tonight, tried to get up all of her hair, she didn't shed, but did leave a few hairs when she would rub on the carpet to scratch her back and ears. went to the dentist, it was difficult to diagnose a crack in the tooth from xray, so going by symptoms he felt it was a fracture, didn't have time to pull today, said to come back in a week or two if the pain continues. Because it is a huge crown put on screws or pins and has root canal, can not be replaced, it will splinter when crown is taken off, so will have to be pulled. there was no obvious infection he said, so should be ok to wait. there is a slim possibility it is a strained tendon?? Never heard that before. since I stopped chewing on that side and take aleve, it is just a mild nagging pain.
It is supposed to be 9 degrees tonight, oh that is so cold.
Thank you for your kind words Karl, tillie billie, ali dianne and roxie, it means so much to read what you say.