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Hoarding Help Message Boards : The Daily Chat : What are you doing today
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What are you doing today
   

sheryl
Posted: 11 September 2014 - 12:01 AM
I wrote a thesis on this message board somewhere and now I can't find it!! Any ideas of what I did wrong, for sure??!!
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G
Posted: 10 September 2014 - 08:42 PM
Tat, I must have been typing when you posted. Thank you so much for your kind words and making me feel welcome. It is appreciated, along with everyone else who has made effort to do so as yes I do feel very overwhlemed being new and tackling or trying to figure out where to start and how. Big enough challenge right there! Miss LR lots... Hope she is back soon.

P.S.-Good idea about the new thread :)

Peace....
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G
Posted: 10 September 2014 - 08:33 PM
Hi Everyone,

Got a few things on my list done today, although there is more that MUST be completed before sleep tonight. There has been power outages where I live causing extra stress and straining, although while I is easy to get stuck in being overwhelemd am working very hard to keep moving forward and hope to complete at least the most necessary tasks and goals tonight.

Tat, Sometimes we need to take rest and keep attention on the things we have accomplished. Sounds like that day for you is today :) Be gentle to you and I hope you have some good self care tonight. See what unfolds tomorrow. Little by little you can do it!

diane, There seems to have been alot of distraction going on aside from focussing on what we are here to work on. No one here should be having to deal with or put up with anybody else's issues, although I guess it apparently happens at times. So we forgive and move on, as we are all imperfect and shall have different views/experiences/truths even. Learn what we can from it and move forward in as positive way possible that works for each of us while supporting others as a group. The minute that stops or hurting has begun, we are all wounded as issues can then be allowed to become bigger than our mutual goals.

Have a great night and awesome day tomorrow everyone!!!

Peace...


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Tatoulia
Posted: 10 September 2014 - 08:10 PM
Diane I hate to admit this but after reading all that stuff on the boards, I am discouraged and have lost some of my oomph. Together we can get back on track. I don't want to lose you. I don't want to lose Tillie. She is a ray of sunshine. I miss LR and everyone else. I am trying to follow your and Tillie's lead by being welcoming and open. I appreciate EVERYONE here. We are having terrible struggles, in more than one area of our lives. Poor G mentioning a tragedy, your struggles, Tillie's struggles. None of us came to hoarding "pure," we all have other issues that fostered our hoarding.

I am starting a new thread, for all of us, called today is a new day, with the hope that we can close this most recent upset and all focus on what we can do to help each other. We can work on hoarding! And take it from me and others here, we can do it best by doing it together. When I first came here I was shocked and upset and dizzy and sick to discover that I am a hoarder. Everyone here helped me to turn that into positive action. Just hearing Tillie say Hooray or LR remind me to drink water, got me to where I am today....well on the road. And Diane, I feel close to you. You are a dear.

I look forward to hearing from G and Sandy and Dianne and Whew and Roxie and Karl and Bitsy--everyone. So let's see what we can accomplish and how we can do it together.

Much love.
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diane
Posted: 10 September 2014 - 07:53 PM
hi tat, your post gave me a reason to post tonight. You are doing great, you are honest, all the ups and downs. It is difficult to accept how long it takes to change our situation. It is ok to take days off and to have slow days.
Earlier today I read the posts on here then read the new board that people referred to in their posts. I was so upset and disappointed about all the posts. Thought I was done with this site.
Tillie has been the one constant on this site for years. She has continually shown acceptance, kindness and encouragement. She was in private chat helping me accept my short comings and not give up, then to see all that has been posted, really sad. I hope she will return here, but we were both very hurt and sad with untruths. I have tried to just let it go, but after reading what was written, brutal, I hope you will do all in your power to let Tillie know how much she has contributed to your life and this site and not just toss her aside because someone made up a story to get us "in trouble". Tillie is not paid to put up with all of our crap, and she deserves to be respected and appreciated.
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Tatoulia
Posted: 10 September 2014 - 07:22 PM
Hello everyone. I haven't done any of the things I said I would yesterday or today. I am feeling very tired and worn out. Am taking tomorrow off from work and will take care of things then. I am hoping I find the strength to go to my storage spot and get something accomplished. Just going to imagine how good that will make me feel. Hopefully with that thought, and your support, I will get there tomorrow.

Will stream a few hoarders tonight-- they are available for free on my roku. (I don't have cable).
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G
Posted: 10 September 2014 - 03:46 PM
Hi Guys!

Today I will work on tidying up some in the kitchen, getting some dishes done, laundry and as ready as can be for a trip out of the city I will be taking in a few days.

Where I live we have had some tragedies in the last 24 hours and while there are some things I must do related to helping make damage better, will have to wait till I am get back to address.

So focus is to get prepared and ready for out of town necesssary trip and fingers crossed hoping all the needs to get done to be succesful can happen in the next few days.

Dianne,I too posted on the other thread after reading your post and seeing what has transpired.

Have a great everyone and happy decluttering and well with accomplishments!

Peace...
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Dianne
Posted: 10 September 2014 - 09:20 AM
Rather than repeat everything here I have posted an apology on the Welcome board. Thank you to Karl for planting that seed of disturbance in my heart.
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Dianne
Posted: 09 September 2014 - 09:16 PM
Bitsy, so glad to hear your son is feeling stronger. We all feel out of place at times. I am tired and discouraged and negative daily. It takes tremendous effort to get thru a day and at the end sometimes cry knowing I have to get up and do the same things the next day. Spiritual reading a.m. and p.m. help me. Just the fact that you try and keep going shows your strength.

Diane, I am so glad to see you here!! Your emotional strength seems to have more clarity to it. Hard to explain ~ I kind of see you as a crystal that was somewhat cloudy a long time ago and continues to get more and more clear showing all the nuanced beauty inside no matter which way it's turned. {{{BIG HUGS}}} Thanks for your concern for my GSD. Jack is my big, handsome fellow, such a good, good dog. When he goes it will be of the end of an era around here. I can't handle the very big dogs anymore.

Tat, wonderful job clearing out your kitchen and keeping up with it! My kitchen story for today is a big bummer. I'm having some serious problems with short term memory. I tend to leave things out and need to focus on each area to make sure it's clear before bringing the dogs in from outside. Today I was in a rush, called everybody in and shut them in the kitchen/breakfastroom/laundryroom area. About 45 minutes away I remembered that I left 2 big pizza boxes with pretty many pieces on top of the feeding crates. I called Laura 5 times before she picked up. She went in but too late. No more pizza and boxes and oily paper shredded everywhere. That means diarrhea tomorrow. :(

Got some laundry done tonight while watching the grandkids at their house. So I was able to stay out of kmart. After I put it away it'll be some playtime for little cats and Laura will handle getting the dogs settled in. Then to bed. I am beat. Good night all ~~
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Tatoulia
Posted: 09 September 2014 - 08:24 PM
Good work on the kitchen, Diane! I hope G and Sandy have had some success with their kitchens too! Be sure to let me know if you were able to get started! It's hard. Luckily I had very few food items and the ones that I did had expiration dates from as long ago as 2003! Not a failure, I told myself. I hope you and others here made some progress and that you feel welcome and supported.

I didn't make any progress on house tonight. But I am going to take my change to bank tomorrow. Last week I took my "closet change" (change found in my Dreaded Closet that I only recently started working in) and it was just about $30. Tomorrow's change is all in a tin, where I put my change from purses and pockets. We will see how much that comes to.

I am also going to quickly identify some stuff for my sister to take on Thursday. Hopefully she'll feel like going to my storage space with me but if not, I'll just choose some stuff from here.

Hope to see you all soon. Special regards to Bitsy--how nice that your son is doing better.
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diane
Posted: 09 September 2014 - 06:30 PM
Tat, got the dishes done and counters clean, realized some of clutter was stuff that belongs in garage, on kitchen counter, but when it sits there for more than a couple of days, it confuses me what to do with it, so thanks for reminding me that when kitchen is clean life is better, I even heated up some soup I made and froze, once the pan was clean, and could fill it on counter. Also, the floor mats for the car are clean and dry, sitting by gate, going out to put into car now, you are a big help. Once stuff is out of your trunk and you only return what is suppposed to be there, you will love it.
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Tatoulia
Posted: 09 September 2014 - 05:58 PM
Diane!!! It is the only place not suffering from clutter creep. The kitchen and my dining room table. I'm not kidding you, I run dishwasher, clear it out, then put dishes in. I wipe down sink and everything! I don't mean to boast but honestly, my life is so much easier. Since I've significantly changed my cabinets, everything has a home the second it's clean.

I need to follow your lead and get my car cleaned out. It's okay (not great ) in passenger areas but trunk is just another pile of hoarded stuff. I'll make a list when I finally go into it so we can laugh, or cry, about it.

Much love.
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diane
Posted: 09 September 2014 - 05:36 PM
Tat, thanks for describing your process of cleaning all cabinets. I did similar process last year, except counters have not stayed clean many days. Your post motivated me to go to kitchen and clean counters.
Today is a new day
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Tatoulia
Posted: 09 September 2014 - 05:07 PM
Good to hear from everyone. I recently de cluttered my kitchen, one cabinet at a time. If you've read any of the past posts, I have a terrible hoarding problem with dishes, china, glassware, etc. some family stuff, some antiques, some vintage. Very tough decisions but I cleaned out the kitchen cabinets one at a time, then washed down with soap and water. I didn't have shelf paper (and was going to use that as an excuse to stop-- or even better--not start!) but instead went to linen closet and used linen and cotton napkins. I have a million of them. After I did all the upper cabinets (and trust me, my heart was breaking-- turned out the top shelves of each cabinet was pretty much filled with adorable little boxes such as jewelry boxes and Christmas boxes) I put what I was keeping away and in a logical place. For some of the dishes, I decided to keep just four of each sized plate, which allowed me to have my cake and eat it too. I went to goodwill nearly everyday with my donations, since I felt that keeping them here might lead to backsliding. There was NO usable food in my cabinets. Then I worked on my counters. Not sure but think I completed everything in under two weeks.

My kitchen has remained absolutely clear and clean since then. All dishes are put away, nothing on counters. For the first time ever I have counter space. And when I use stove or oven I don't have to move a thing. I will admit that I had a friend visit and she further scrubbed down the cabinets and completely cleaned my fridge. That was unexpected and very nice. She also taught me some things re keeping kitchen clean.

That's my advice on the kitchen. I am not exaggerating when I say I must've donated 20 cake pans and pie pans. It was wonderful and good and I do not have regrets. I most certainly have regrets with some other stuff I've gotten rid of in the last two months, but the kitchen stuff is out of sight/out of mind. If anyone needs some support or tips on kitchen clean up, I'll try to help. And if you have any ideas, trust me, I need them.

Welcome and love to my fellow hoarders, both old and new. TODAY IS A NEW DAY!
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diane
Posted: 09 September 2014 - 04:55 PM
Nice you are letting go of anger about chat. I had a one time only private chat and will not do that again. Chat is for everyone and should be safe. I will not be in chat on Sunday again, so please let it go. I plan to continue to post on here because I feel close to many people on here. I have made mistakes, hope to learn from them. What was done in chat stays in chat, no names on message board of what was said in chat. What if a woman said private things in chat about her worthless husband, we named and quoted her on message board, which is permanent, her husband signs on and sees it.
Today I got up, took care of some business, vacuumed, then back up on roof. Scraped several areas and coated them, like you Dianne, preparing for winter, almost done.
I have always used the patch stuff from can and today used patch in tube with caulk gun, so much faster and less messy. I used the whole thing, only a little left to finish. Have clutter creeping out of garage from my fixit projects, that I plan to put away today.
Dianne, I am grateful you are posting again, and that you have a clean house, sorry about your sweet pooch going down hill. Tat, happy you are posting your progress. karl, you are so right, communication problems happen. I am so sorry I have adhd and can not be in groups whether in person or online, I learn so much from groups, but due to my inability to stay calm when distractions happen. I want you to have a safe place so will not be in chat, so please forgive me and let it go. Think of me as a handicapped person that is begging for understanding rather than condeming me.
Bitsy, your post was so touching. I totally understand your post about feeling old and not as able as others to get things done. I will be 66 y.o. soon, and see how tired I get. Please know we understand all you are going through and do not give up.
Tillie, have to say hello to you, you have helped all of us, and hope you are feeling better.
Welcome Sandy, sounds like you are doing great and able to put things into perspective
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diane
Posted: 09 September 2014 - 04:55 PM
Nice you are letting go of anger about chat. I had a one time only private chat and will not do that again. Chat is for everyone and should be safe. I will not be in chat on Sunday again, so please let it go. I plan to continue to post on here because I feel close to many people on here. I have made mistakes, hope to learn from them. What was done in chat stays in chat, no names on message board of what was said in chat. What if a woman said private things in chat about her worthless husband, we named and quoted her on message board, which is permanent, her husband signs on and sees it.
Today I got up, took care of some business, vacuumed, then back up on roof. Scraped several areas and coated them, like you Dianne, preparing for winter, almost done.
I have always used the patch stuff from can and today used patch in tube with caulk gun, so much faster and less messy. I used the whole thing, only a little left to finish. Have clutter creeping out of garage from my fixit projects, that I plan to put away today.
Dianne, I am grateful you are posting again, and that you have a clean house, sorry about your sweet pooch going down hill. Tat, happy you are posting your progress. karl, you are so right, communication problems happen. I am so sorry I have adhd and can not be in groups whether in person or online, I learn so much from groups, but due to my inability to stay calm when distractions happen. I want you to have a safe place so will not be in chat, so please forgive me and let it go. Think of me as a handicapped person that is begging for understanding rather than condeming me.
Bitsy, your post was so touching. I totally understand your post about feeling old and not as able as others to get things done. I will be 66 y.o. soon, and see how tired I get. Please know we understand all you are going through and do not give up.
Tillie, have to say hello to you, you have helped all of us, and hope you are feeling better.
Welcome Sandy, sounds like you are doing great and able to put things into perspective
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bitsy
Posted: 09 September 2014 - 03:59 PM
Dianne, I don't know how you get all that done.

Time is going by so fast! Already almost the middle of September. It is a little cooler. nice. but just a reminder that before we know it it will be really cold and harder to do a lot of things.

I have not done anything about the NE house and property. My son is getting stronger and yesterday we went to the SE house and got five bags of trash and four bags of recycling out to the street for pick-up today. So today my back is really hurting and my stomach is upset so we won't be working there today. He is adding up all the hospital and related bills he has received so far. very depressing.

Roxie. I hope you are doing better every day.

Chat room.. Too fast. was a new experience for me. I felt out of place. Even on the boards I feel out of place. Everybody seems so motivated and gung ho. I am old and tired and discouraged. I try not to be negative but it is hard. I try to keep going anyway. Sometimes people here give me hope. At least I know I am not the only one who struggles with this. I wish there had been something like this 25 or 35 years ago.

We have to go to store and run some errands, Bye.
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Dianne
Posted: 09 September 2014 - 01:42 PM
Getting back on track ~~

It's been hard keeping up with maintenance the past week. My live-in daughter and I have had doctor appointments. After years of neglect there's a lot to check out.

My last German Shepherd, Jackson, is going downhill with DM (similar to ALS in humans) and requires a great deal more care every day.

I've been like a little squirrel prepping for winter. Farmers' Almanac is calling for a rough one. I've been getting stuff together for winterizing the beach place. I got in 1,000 lbs. of salt for water treatment, 800 lbs. of cat litter and hundreds of lbs. of dry and canned dog and cat food. We've bottled over 100 gallons of water for drinking and for toilet flushing. When electricity goes out the well doesn't pump and we lose water.

The next 2 weeks are pretty busy so I'm down to very basic maintenance and not all that is getting done. Trash is getting to the dump, animals care is current but good food and healthy habits are gone. It's been pizza and snack food and staying up later messing up sleep habits we had worked on. Laundry is piling up and I was sorely tempted to run into kmart and buy something clean. I'm kind of kicking myself for all the clean stuff I had that was given away in dejunking. The hoarder inside taunting, "I TOLD you not to let that go!" Tonight I'm babysitting and will do laundry there.

Keep up the good work everybody!
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G
Posted: 09 September 2014 - 01:09 PM
Dianne, Thank you for clarifying the two nn's and big "D". It is nice to hear anothe person happy for my choice to stay, as well as the warm welcome :)

Look forward to working with you and making lots of changes in life working this site and the great people here like yourself, Jar :ady, Beverly, Karl, LR etc etc etc...
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Dianne
Posted: 09 September 2014 - 12:54 PM
Hey G,

I'm Dianne with 2 n's and use a larger blue font.

Suzie gave details in her Welcome to the New Board post.

We haven't met but I'm glad you're staying. :)

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G
Posted: 09 September 2014 - 12:53 PM
Wish there was a window for private chat or a way to put someone on ignore(not that that is ideal, although at leas a way to control and remove someone else's negativity if they are bent on it).

Looks like Sunday was not the first nor the last. Wish I had been in there, as I would have helped this "Suzie".

Cory is who owns the site right? Maybe he can access the chat logs and get to the bottom of what is going on here and who is all causing the troubles? Maybe this has been going on for a long time Diane?

Sorry I did not post to your post Tat, although am getting ready and heading out the door for some errands. Will check back later.

Wishing everyone well with accomplishments today!
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G
Posted: 09 September 2014 - 12:45 PM
Oh no Diane!!!

That is horrible. I have no idea who was even n chat yesterday as after Sudnay night decided to take a breather, so cannot be of help. Between what went on Sunday meeting and hearing that, maybe we need a moderator? Karl is usually in there...

So, maybe he knows? Sad...very sad as this is a support site and well everyone who comes here needs support. Is hard to feel it when negative things happen or people are not kind :(
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Tatoulia
Posted: 09 September 2014 - 12:40 PM
Oops! As I was composing my post two other people posted--not ignoring you! Will read and write later!
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Tatoulia
Posted: 09 September 2014 - 12:38 PM
Hello everyone! Glad to see you are up and at 'em, Sandy! I am at office today but did get dishwasher emptied from last night's run. My sister has agreed to take some of my mother's things, notably her beautiful antique wine and champagne glasses so I will see that they are ready for her before she comes in on Thursday. Having my sister as a support system is new for me! Very excited about her visit!

Have a good day, everyone! Nice to meet you Sandy. I'm ready for the real challenges! Best wishes to you all.
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G
Posted: 09 September 2014 - 12:37 PM
Karl, Great advice and perspective. Thanks for sharing. Am wiling to chalk it up to "communication failure" and move forward without hard feelings here.

Annonymous, Excellent words of wisodom, as well as important points to be honoured for this site and interactions to be kept positive/supportive :)

Jar Lady, I too find your input and presence to be highly valueable to myself and can tell, others in chat do too. You have a lightness and humor that makes it easier to share(amongst several other positive qualities). Appreciate your support around what you saw despite being new as well. Your words were so sweeet, they made my day...maybe week or month! Yep, I am staying for sure and thanks for being a friend here who has made me feel welcome and clear that I provide positive support in your chat experience.

Sandy, Not sure either how anyone could find bad mouthing or untiing against others fun(nevermind why anyone mature would do it), although do recall it from junior high. At any rate, I am here to focus on improving my environment and supporting others doing the same. Thanks for your support and welccome to the board. Hope you get lots done in your kitchen today! :)

Today will be my first day posting here about what I am going to do and am excited to be part of this community not only in chat, although now the boards. Am very optomistic about the support and believe working with other people dealing with similar issues, will be of great help especially on the days that are more overwhelming. Am relatively new, although guess I will just jump in here too!

I shall work on some areas of clutter in my kitchen as well today.....the thought of it is completely overwhelming as I feel I do not know where to start and that areas which had improved have backslid, although am commited and going to slay that dragon slow and steady.

Peace...
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Dianne
Posted: 09 September 2014 - 12:34 PM
Not sure what's going on here.......

There's a new person, Suzie, on the Welcome thread who says she will never come back to "this awful place" after going into chat yesterday, being treated rudely and told to leave.

Is there a window to open for a private chat if needed? If not maybe people can exchange emails if they want to talk privately.

Cory set up this site for everyone.
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sandy
Posted: 09 September 2014 - 10:27 AM
Hi guys, why all the talk about the past, what are you doing today to solve your hoarding problems? Easy to focus on a problem instead of doing work on your hoard. Focusing on negative people or behaviors of others is a good way to avoid cleaning up your side of the street!!! Look at your part in any situation and improve yourself. Bad mouthing others is fun and uniting but not a good way to live your life.
Today I am going clean kitchen. Look for things I can throw away. Please write about your accomplishments today. Lets stay focused on success.
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Jar Lady
Posted: 09 September 2014 - 09:34 AM
Hi! I just wanted to offer my support to G, who I feel was unfairly ganged up on at the last meeting. G and I are both relatively new, and I am relieved to hear that she is not discouraged from continuing to attend. G's input at meetings is friendly, positive, empathetic, and very encouraging to me and others.
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anonymous
Posted: 08 September 2014 - 07:02 PM
Whether on message boards or in chat this is a support group. There will be people we like or don't like. But respect must be paramount. This isn't the first time conflicts have arisen nor will it be the last. At the very least, apologies are always a good thing. It acknowledges that mistakes were made, intentional or not.

It is important that newcomers never feel excluded. Everyone comes here looking for help. Today's newcomers are tomorrow's mentors. Keep calm and support each person.
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Karl
Posted: 08 September 2014 - 06:00 PM
As I said during the chat last night, I think the best approach is to call it "communication failure" and move on, ideally with nobody having any hard feelings. Even if you think someone else acted in a way that you wouldn't consider appropriate for yourself. (This applies to today's confrontation, too.)

Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate. Let's try to all remain friends.
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G
Posted: 08 September 2014 - 05:30 PM
Diane, That was big of you to apologize for blowing up in chat last night and being very negative telling either myself or the group to shut up...not sure?

It is very concerning for myself and am sure others who are new(maybe some who are not?), to have experienced that volatiility in chat last night. It is a support chat and as such would hope we all make an effort to be kind and there for each other.

For those who were not there, since my name has been brought up. It was Jar Lady's turn and she had just said she was going to pass, as she had to find her cat. I responded to her comment wishing her well finding her cat. Immediately there was a "shut up etc". Apparently between Jar Lady sharing about her cat and my comment being able to be typed, diane's turn had started.

So at most an innocent unintentional comment duriing her "talk time", of which resulted in nasty words and support around them by some.

Personally, I do not agree with that type of behavior which is all I had made clear despite some defending it. Bet it if had been me saying it to someone, would have been completely pounced on as despite being a good and supportive person....am new and don't have that rapport built with many here. I would hope even if I had been around long enough to have solid friends here that it would still not be considered ok if I treated anyone whether new or old that way....OR that anyone that has been here a longer time think it is ok for that reason to say things that are so negative and unsupportive to new(er) folks.

I "get" and it has been made clear that diane has a specific request that no one speak except for tillie during her turn in group chat. Firstly again, I was still responding to Jar Lady who passed her turn to Diane...wishing her well finding her cat. Secondly, errors from those of us who are not familiar with the nuaces or different rules for different people are going to happen. To have aggession not only directed(understand there was frustration and why despite there not being any intention) and supported by some in the group is quite disturbing.

Vi, I do not believe there was anything malicious or negative said about diane after she had left by myself or Beverly. I get that you all know each other well and it seemed felt the need to defend diane as opposed to be real about what went on.....we do that with our close friends sometimes(not so good for an innocent new person to have to bear or anyone else who also has stress and concerntraion issues as well either). I know you this is a close knit group and some of us are new, although am not taking blame or responsability for someone else's issues or ok to be made out like I was nsaty for standing up for myself or the group(whoever the shut up was directed towards). [ P.S.- you were logged in late last night in chat .... still on into the morning my time. Just an fyi in case your computer is doing weird things.]

In a perfect world enough time between Jar lady passing he turn to diane while finding her cat and my comment wishing her well doing so, would have occured before her time started. It was a supportive comment towards a member in chat that resulted in a volatile reaction that was not ok. In saying such, the focus seemed to be placed upon myself or Beverly for not being ok with it, instead of where it belonged with clarity that yes none of us should be speaking to each other that way in support chat. There was nothing mean or intentionl done towards diane.

It certainly left a bad taste in my mouth for sure, although since hearing that is the first time for that to be the case am not going to throw the baby out with the bathwater. Before last night, chat had been mostly a positive experience for myslef that I was looked forward to, as did Jar Lady share who started same day as I.

Am not here to argue or debate anything with anyone about last night, as frankly it was stressful and exhasuting enough experiencing it once. Quite silly when you put it into perscpective really.

Am here to give and receive support like everyone else and we are all human, as well as have different needs. Hopefully we can all move forward now and take whatever lesson if any, each of us may have gotten. So long as we all treat each other with respect and allow for human error(not intentional negativity), it should stay a great suportive place.

Look forward to getting back to that and posting here as well to give and receive the support this site has been intended to provide.

All the best to the new friends I have made so far and everyone else, who I do not yet know! We all need each other and the journey getting where we want/need to go is going to be amazing!!! :)

Peace....
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Dianne
Posted: 08 September 2014 - 12:40 PM
Hey Diane ~

I totally hear you. The very few times I was on chat over a year and a half ago wasn't for me. It goes so fast, I couldn't keep up and honestly I didn't like having to sit in one place for a couple hours. I felt it wasn't right for me to get what I needed and split. If others had sat thru the conversations then I should too. I found that the message boards at my pace, when I wanted, worked much better for my personality.

As far as leaving the group and problem solving on your own it could be a good choice for a time. I had been thinking about that for several months as I wasn't accomplishing a whole lot, I was spending too much time here and it felt like, for me, all I was doing was socializing. Then I was forced into it by outside circumstances for a few months. I took what I had learned from the wonderful people here, you included my friend, and moved forward hugely. Of course I missed everyone.

There was a time when the only posters were Tillie, MayMay and me. There were a lot more on chat but they didn't post. So, being the *one who has to provide all* I felt like I had to post multiple times daily to support the board. When I was doing my *inner work* of hoarding I realized I could put that aside as well as all the material stuff. It was very hard.

However I had a good support system in the real world. My isolation is self-imposed. A soon as I reached out there were family members and some friends I held at a distance who were happy to ~ I get stuck here....... my first reaction is that they oozed in taking over my stuff......it wasn't always pleasant. My next reaction is they helped. My next reaction is push them away again I NEED my isolation, I'm not used to contact and it's still too irritating. Yesterday I talked to a neighbor and her kids in my yard, a guy who stopped by unannounced to help (he is a wonderful guy I don't mean to put him down) and my ex-husband all in the space of 15 minutes. They actually overlapped. The rest of the day I was scattered and full of anxiety ~ did I sound stupid (of course), did I talk too much and too fast (of course), did I hop from one thing to the next the rest of the day (of course). It sucked.

You have made HUGE, HUGE changes here. I love seeing how you have grown in insights, your willingness to change, your ability to help others and all the accomplishments you've achieved in real life. If it's time for some self-soothing in solitude your heart will know.

As part of the dejunking process I am accepting that there are seasons in life. Sometimes it's ok to let go of what we've been doing to try something that might work better. Remember you and I had a conversation about my fight with my married daughter. It was, as she put it, life-changing, and it still isn't 100% right between us. Probably never will be. But I've accepted that maybe the time had come for that relationship to change. Sometimes we evolve thru pain and destruction.

For some the relationships here are vital to continued connection and growth. And that's great. God bless the internet for opening new avenues of communication and friendships. These relationships can be like family, loving, supporting, challenging, fighting. When the family base has done its job the younger members go out and try their wings. Or it's like a support group in real life. You go maybe a couple times a week for an hour or so, then you go back out and test your skills in the real world. The family/group is always there to welcome you back, listen to your triumphs or failings and cheer you on. As you can still do for them.

None of my ramblings are meant to say leave. They're meant to say listen to your heart. Is your decision the result of a blow-up? In which case, you may just need a short break. Or have you had some stirrings in your heart for awhile and the blow-up was the push you needed? Heading out for a time doesn't mean you can't come back.

The most important thing is to know you are much loved and honored and respected here. You are a shining example of openness and self-sufficiency. It sounds like in the real world you do much good in your clinic work and caring for dogs. Which you do so beautifully ~ you actually interact a lot with them, not just dogsit.

If you leave for a time do so in strength and love. And know you are always in my prayers. And come back dearheart.


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Tatoulia
Posted: 08 September 2014 - 11:58 AM
Ps to Vi! Congratulations on your bravery--glad to hear you have a therapist appt scheduled!
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Tatoulia
Posted: 08 September 2014 - 11:57 AM
Dianne, thank you so much for your post. I cannot thank you enough. You made me feel worthwhile.

Wishing everyone a beautiful day. It is lovely here on the East Coast and I hope to read everyone's posts. You are important to me. You never fail to build me up.
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Vi0l33t
Posted: 08 September 2014 - 11:36 AM
Good Morning.

I'm very sorry I didn't return to chat last night, frankly I have to admit I was appalled by the behavior I witnessed and didn't really want to be there. G, if you read this, I'd like you to know that I don't think you or Diane handled things well last night, however the things you and Beverly said after she left were so disappointing to me that I don't think I will be in chat if either of you are on. I'll keep checking the message board though, because many of you have become very important to me as a community.

Diane, you are fantastic, and even if you did lose your cool last night I hope you keep coming back.

As for me, I'd like you to know that I'm still not acquiring, I have let a little clutter creep in here and there, but Mister has been really good about helping to remind me to keep it in check, and has been helping to facilitate my cleaning needs without complaint. We still haven't gotten more shelving, but baby steps. I've been tossing out things that break that I've had problems throwing out in the past, i.e broken toys, and socks with holes. It still makes me sick to my stomach to do it, but I know it's the best thing for me to do. I'm also still organizing the few boxes of things that are unorganized still and if I find an item unacceptable it gets tossed.
I still have a long way to go. I'm also finally getting some things started that I should have a long time ago. I cleared it with my insurance and I'm making an appointment to see a therapist next month. It scares the hell out of me but I can't keep going on like I have been.
Again, I'm sorry I haven't been around, life changed a bit after we moved. I've made a few friends and both kids are in school now. I've been expanding my portfolio, which is good too.
If anyone has skype they can contact me there. my skype name is vi0l33ts.
See you all soon, lots of love,
Vi0l33t
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Dianne
Posted: 08 September 2014 - 11:28 AM
To Tat ~

What a burden being the go-to person. I wanted to be her, and I was her, and now I'll leave that to someone else. I don't want to have a bunch of #{%^¥ junking up my house because some day, some one, be they friend or stranger, might possibly need one of the six million things I bought in the last 19 years. It's a relief. These things exist in the world, I tell myself, at places called stores. I don't need to warehouse this stuff any longer. Other parts of my hoard have a different story, but my 'just in case stuff" has all been cleared out. I'm fortunate that I don't have a moment of regret. And today was a good test of that.

I hope repeating what you wrote came out in pink! I wanted it to stand out! That is some of the best stuff I have read in a long time! YES!!!
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Tatoulia
Posted: 08 September 2014 - 08:00 AM
Diane, Grace and Sheryl , I wasn't on chat last night but hope to see you all here posting on the boards. I take great strength from my fellow hoarders and I very much enjoy my friendships here. I

To Diane, my dear friend, I have signed on to chat a handful of times. I am comfortable hearing other people tell their stories and trying to offer some support. I am less comfortable when it's my turn. It can be a busy place and I haven't found it to be a comfortable venue for me.

I respect your wishes and do not want to pressure you, but please don't leave the message boards!! Pretty please!! You are important to me, and I bet I'm speaking for a lot of people right now.

That said, please know from the bottom of my heart I do want you to do what's best for you. And if taking a break is best, I support you and I understand.
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Grace
Posted: 08 September 2014 - 07:38 AM
Thank you all in the Sun meeting. Remember that no one is perfect but we are growing.
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sheryl
Posted: 07 September 2014 - 11:19 PM
I was in the chat room tonight and can understand how you feel! This was my 2nd time and it gets a little hectic; especially for the person who only has 15 min to type!! Think about your decision, maybe you have now helped the group to set some ground rules; when it's someone's turn. Think about it??!!
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diane
Posted: 07 September 2014 - 10:05 PM
Just wanted to say I am sorry I lost it in chat tonight. I find it difficult to focus when interrupted. Looking back I should have just signed off. I often focus on others and solving their problems, and it is difficult for me to ask for help. The 15 min. chat time is usually a good exercise for me to focus on myself and look at my accomplishments and goals for the week. When continually interrupted I became more and more anxious until I could not concentrate at all, all I could think of was "SHUT THE X UP". Being on this site has saved my life this past 1&1/2 years. Maybe it is time to let go of the group and problem solve on my own. Having ADHD is no fun and distractions are difficult to deal with for me. I will try to talk myself into posting on message boards, not sure if I will be able to return to chat. Wish you all well on your journey.
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Tatoulia
Posted: 07 September 2014 - 08:28 PM
Diane, I loved being the person who had everything. Need this? Take mine! Then I began buying stuff in anticipation of someone, anyone(!) needing it. Then I bought multiples of things, in case someone needed it. Then it turned out my beautiful place was junked everywhere. And the second I realized that I'm trying to be everyone's hero, I was able to let it all go. This happened a few months ago, when I was forming my friendships here. Something snapped.

What a burden being the go-to person. I wanted to be her, and I was her, and now I'll leave that to someone else. I don't want to have a bunch of #{%^¥ junking up my house because some day, some one, be they friend or stranger, might possibly need one of the six million things I bought in the last 19 years. It's a relief. These things exist in the world, I tell myself, at places called stores. I don't need to warehouse this stuff any longer. Other parts of my hoard have a different story, but my 'just in case stuff" has all been cleared out. I'm fortunate that I don't have a moment of regret. And today was a good test of that.
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diane
Posted: 07 September 2014 - 06:44 PM
Hello gals, great to sign on and read your posts, was feeling a little isolated. fun day today painting things, you name it I painted it, just because. cleaned up most of it, creeping clutter seems to sneak up from every direction, thanks for discussing it. did dishes again today.
congrats tat for having no more extras in case people need it, I still have stuff for others, so helps to here it is ok, to just get rid of it, but makes me so happy to give it when others need it, even if I waste 2 hours looking for it to give it to them. then I get grumpy because I do this for them and do not take care of myself, how silly is that, so much easier to get rid of extras and say, nope, all gone.
I watered this morning before painting. finally washed car mats, hung them and now they are dry and ready to go to car, they were so dirty, had been vacuumed in past a few times but never washed, really need to be replaced, huge old coffee stains. Good enough for now. did not get much done of any substance, just using up more paint before it freezes. the chinese red shelf is outside freezer room in walkway and looks so cool, gloss red, so fun to do creative things. also painted a wood mirror frame/shelf same red yesterday and hung that today on other side of door, looks like it was planned. Plan to put shelves up in garage with some of the boards I painted today, already have brackets.
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Tatoulia
Posted: 07 September 2014 - 05:46 PM
Great to read everyone's posts. Thank you Tillie for discussing creeping clutter. I cleaned off my dresser this AM and will take care of living room tonight. Congratulations to LR for having an extra large shredding bag! Diane, thank you for your kind words. Greatly needed. And of course hello and thank you to everyone!

I was cranky today because I spent the entire weekend taking care of everyone but me. No time left to get to storage and I was getting grumpy. Then, I had a moment that only a struggling hoarder could appreciate: My mother asked me if I had a planter so she could re- pot a plant. And I said, no, I hot rid of everything. I no longer have things just on case someone should need them. I felt fantastic. Completely fantastic and proud of myself. Not an inch of guilt. I felt proud.

Thank you all. You got me here. Now I have to continue to work. Including finding time to go to storage, which would actually be fun for me. Fun to get rid of stuff and to be able to get to a smaller storage space, with an eye toward complete elimination.
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Tillie
Posted: 07 September 2014 - 11:17 AM
Creeping Clutter

Yes, clutter is very sneaky and can grow so fast.
Kind of like toadstools happening in the lawn over night.
Clutter happens to me too. It happens to everybody.
We all must keep on the lookout for things starting to clutter up spaces where they should not be.
My kitchen counter is in the center of the room. It divides the kitchen area from the living room area.
I use it all day every day to do just about everything I ever do in here.
If I am not careful and clear the clutter regularly during the day it could very easily become overwhelming.
The dresser in my room sometimes has stuff placed on it to be put away later when I am in a rush and don't have the time right then to put stuff away properly.
This has to be done just as soon as I see it later and have the minute or two to put stuff away correctly.
Some things I pull out to use like the vacuum, broom, bucket, etc. become floor clutter if I haven't yet put them away after I finish doing the cleaning job.
My sewing/crafting projects will become clutter if when I have finished for the day and the stuff still sits where I left it.

This is why it is so very important for us all to defend our cleared areas.
Periodically throughout the day look around, see if you can spot the small stuff that if left there will grow over night into a major clutter monster.
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Tillie
Posted: 07 September 2014 - 10:58 AM
Good Morning Everybody :)

Hi LR2014 :)
WAY TO GO!!!
What a big weight off your shoulders now that all that stuff is shredded and gone. :D
Keep up all this GREAT progress.

Hi Diane :)
I have my fingers crossed and am optimistic about the leak proofing you have been doing.
GREAT job, doing projects around the home to distract yourself from shopping. (((hugs)))

Very quiet around here this morning.
Cats have had their breakfast and have gone off to nap.
He's gone off to town to hang around with his man friends and tell them all just how wonderful and perfect he is as they all gossip and put down everybody who isn't them.

Need to clean the kitchen today. Took yesterday off from housework and the kitchen has suffered.
Neighbor is scheduled for some major back surgery on Monday. I will be looking after their pets, mail and home.
She should be home by Friday and her husband should be home sooner unless she needs him close by.
The hospital is in Reno which is a far commute from here.
We do have a small hospital out here but you are just taking chances with your life if you ever go there.

Hope to "see" you tonight in the "Online Support Group"

TTYL :D
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diane
Posted: 06 September 2014 - 05:45 PM
LR, Tat and Tillie, reading your posts, made me smile, so happy things are going well and tat that you are so honest, creeping clutter is not our friend, but sure tries to be.
Fianlly dishes are all caught up. Think I finally found the magic combination to stop drips in walkway. Poured water and it looks good, now just have to finish attaching my inventions!! It makes me smile when I look at the way I use my crap to patch things, including coated stove pipe, not up to builders standards, but they said there was no answer to leaks, we will see if it holds when winter visits. Painted white around my red door to freezer room. I had painted it tan last year, but wanted white around chinese red. Beautiful day enjoying my little projects, just have to talk myself into finishing it and not just jump to next thing. During this break I came up with lots of things to do rather than finish fastening pieces around pipes of walkway. I think part of me likes the drama of leaving things undone, and see if it falls apart. Whats that about? Oh, typical addict behavior. Several thoughts of acquiring today, to avoid doing the hard part. Tat your post helped me. I would like an aversion to acquiring, but just knowing you are stopping helps me. LR sounds like you got through those boxes. Tillie you continue to make the best of a bad situation, inspiring.
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LR2014
Posted: 06 September 2014 - 01:59 PM
Happy Saturday. Good to read everyone's posts.

I took my shredding to my "shred place" this morning. I had gathered so much that it was too heavy for me to carry all at once. (That's a happy thing . . . got lots more stuff than usual shredded!) Yea!

Might post more later, but I wanted to share that little tidbit. Hugs to everybody.
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Tillie
Posted: 06 September 2014 - 10:38 AM
Good Morning :)

Hi Diane :)
YEA!!! that you got to sleep in! :D
How wonderful that you painted things RED!
Love RED, my favorite color. I painted my front door RED.
WAY TO GO!!! for finding fun things to do at home and staying away from the yard sale. (((hugs)))
I always feel that if the neighbors have a problem with my color choices it's their problem, not mine. snicker snicker ;)

Hi Tatoulia :)
FANTASIC! that you are donating stuff and not stopping in to see what's in there.
Make it a conscious effort to see, feel and appreciate all the new clear spaces in your home.
This will help you when the temptation is there to buy things.
The more we buy, the less clear, clean, serene space we have in our homes.
Good Luck with your storage space. :)

Well, finally got some sleep last night.
Yesterday I got some gardening done, wanted to do more but was just too exhausted to continue.
Want to get some groceries today.
Have no plans to do any chores except the usual daily stuff.
Next week I start on my "Fall Cleaning".
Soon it will be too cold here to do some things and I need to get them done while the weather is still warm enough.
Hose off the outside walls, wash windows & screens, wash the back porch, wash/wash/wash lots of outside stuff, etc....
But today and tomorrow I will rest up & take it easy. :)

Remember to smile, laugh, dance and sing a little. :)
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Tatoulia
Posted: 06 September 2014 - 08:18 AM
Sounds like you had a great day, Diane! Good color choice for the freezer room door! You got so much done AND you avoided a garage sale! You did a great job. I have passed up all street sales since I met everyone here. Have only gone to Goodwill to donate, haven't wandered back to see what China or glass treasure is waiting for me. For now, I feel an aversion to acquiring stuff. I hope it lasts, for I still have a long way to go. Tomorrow is supposed to be better weather (we are having a blast of hear and humidity here) so I vow to go to storage space.

I see the clutter creeping back into living room and into bedroom dresser. I need to address this.

Have a wonderful day, everyone!
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diane
Posted: 05 September 2014 - 09:23 PM
Thanks for the support Tillie. Waking up at 5am is not a lot of fun for you, hope your day went ok.
I slept in for the first time in weeks.
Went up on roof and did about an hour of work. My friend that I got the digital camera a year ago is having her annual garage sale today. She asked me to come and visit with her, I said I might. Well I knew I would come home with stuff I do not need, so happy hoard knocked some sense into my brain!!! Had to talk myself into staying home by bribing myself to shop at home and do some painting. I painted the freezer room door Chinese Red, gloss enamel, so fun. Then painted my flower petals red that I cut out of sheet metal from roof, cute. Painted a board same red to use as a shelf. Fun to paint. Painted the white roof coat grey so doesn't stand out so much, neighbors had complained about how bad it looked, did it for myself, not them. The brat part of me enjoyed annoying neighbor that complained, the one that smokes and tosses butts.
I did not get much done, things that matter, mostly just had fun today. Friend emailed and asked where I was today. I just said I painted a door and myself. I really like staying home and doing fun stuff and avoiding garage sales.
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