Tillie, I can't believe I forgot to post about your pantry project - I was really impressed!

Tatoulia - I hope you feel better.

Dh is taking the day off to work on the baseboards.

The house is a mess, and I am just as tired as usual on Fridays, but, I feel better about the barn, I got some planting done, and I am on top of my lesson planning (although I wish I had finished grooming the rabbit yesterday - I wanted to take her in today, but I don't want to take her half groomed. OTOH, we have dinner with the kids tonight, and the rabbit is not necessary to my lesson plan, so maybe this is a case of learning not to pack in one more thing. She can go next week, or the last day.

I did very little actual work on my pottery - glazed one dish and stuck it in the school kiln, plus finished the hippos for my grads - but I did pick up my work from last class session and discuss my results with dh, get some new tools, bring home scrap clay, sign up for a late summer class, and develop some ideas. I forgot to call the reuse store lady.

Good Evening Everybody

Hi Tatoulia
I believe that by working through the problem the reason for it becomes secondary.
Decluttering and cleaning we feel all the various emotions, the guilt, the shame, the remorse, the grief, the anger, the hurt.
We feel it all, no longer running away from our emotions is what heals us.
We move on into the future, living in the present and quit living in the past.
(((HUG)))

Have a wonderful and relaxing day tomorrow! :D

Relaxation time is like open space.
Plus the more clear our spaces are the more time we have to relax and recreate.


This morning was sunny and very pleasant.
This afternoon the clouds gathered and we had extreme winds, thunder and a big gully washer but the downpour didn't last very long.

Pantry is all put back together.
The whole project start to finish only took two ibuprofen.
Only project now is the ceiling in my room but I have to wait for the roof to be fixed first.

Last several days the wild yellow roses have been blooming.
Hundreds of blooms and they smell so pretty.
I have gathered up a large decorative crystal bowl full of the fragrant petals.

Loved reading all the posts! Yay Tillie no critters in the pantry! I bet it looks really nice now! Ooohhh a nice Imari bowl! Did he know it was a museum and not a shop? Ridiculous!!!

SubC your thought process on the stamps is spot-on.

I don't think I've ever directly discussed how I got here and how bad it had gotten. I generally like to work on the problem and then do a post-mortem. Or ignore the cause altogether. This has been interesting for me this week to discuss it fairly directly.

I am taking tomorrow off. I don't feel like myself. I have moved my haircut to the afternoon.

I should be at work but I asked for the day and I got it. I'm m hoping to bake or do something else to find some relaxation. My Tuesday night mentor ship ended up being pretty intense. I will limit myself with this particular person to day time activities because the open ended nature is too difficult. And then I've been worried about someone else, too. So I'll enjoy my day and maybe work on my closet or maybe not. M
Oh! SubC!!!! When you talked about down-time/all I could think about is Tillie saying, open space is an object. Relaxation time is doing something. It's taking care of yourself.

Thank you all for giving me friendship and advice and for caring about me.

Good Morning Everybody

Hi Subclinical
Wonderful posts. I love catching up on all you have going on in your life.

That book sounds like it is really going to help you.
You always try to do the work of at least three other people in any given day and get disappointed when you can't do it all.
And I would find it depressing that you were too often sacrificing doing your art.

Sometimes we do need to buy things.
I believe you will get a lot of use from the craft items at home and at school.
Plus I know that if something is not getting used you will pass it along to someone else who has a use for it.

Thank you so much for telling me about your take on museums and the reuse store.
When I dug up a cannonball in my yard I gave it to the museum to put in their pile of other cannonballs piled next to the cannon.
Thought that was the best place for me to keep it.
When I was a docent at the museum a large very loud man once tried to buy our Imari bowl.
He was quite angry that a museum would refuse to sell the item to him (?).


Hi Tatoulia
LOL, Miss Kitty sleeps on his head or at his feet.
she loves him. :D
Hoarding and squalor is not always just about the stuff.
There is usually something else going on and the mess and lack of self care are just an outward symptom.
(((HUG)))

Hi Joan

Hi CriticalMass

Well, today I need to wipe down everything from the pantry and put it all back neatly organized.
Then my pantry will be Spring cleaned!
When I took everything out yesterday to lay the flooring I did not find ANY evidence of bugs or mice.
Just a very thin coating of dust on some things.

Serial posting, but I have unloaded the car and admired my stamp haul.

One stamp for me to actually use with ink - perfect for a gift card or note to my mom.

Four (vintage?)crocheted doilies (fabric) to use to impress designers on bowls.

One clay press mold for me that I forgot.

Six new roller wheel stamps and two additional handles for my class, and 14 roller wheel stamps for me (I may decide to turn some over to the class after I try them for a while)

And 29 assorted wood block rubber stamps (mostly around 1"sq) for me.(again, may pass some on to the class later)

Plus, one accidentally left in the handle ink pad to go back to the shop (It was included fairly in my purchase, but I have no use for it.)

I lost a piece of my post! When talking about the reuse store, I said "the cost is like a membership or storage fee. "My" pool costs me $15 a month. "My""giant craft supply room" costs less than that."

It's great to see so much going on in here!

CM, the book is written primarily as if for working people, so you have to look at the theory under the application and ignore the career parts.

One thing that is hard for me and I can see in my life, but am struggling to truly understand and apply, is that your focus time is not your rest time. Just because you are doing something that is only for you, that is creative or uplifting, it does not mean you are resting. Something can be fun and still be work. You also have to schedule open time into your days when you actually rest - effectively "do nothing". Times to turn you brain and body off and slack in your day to be spontaneous. You can't schedule and use every minute.

I have a really hard time with the fact that when I get home after 7:00, I am tired and generally "accomplish nothing" between the and bed ("nothing" being my evening chores, dinner, making my plan for the next day, and sometimes a few dishes.) I always think "I will have a couple of hours, I can take care of xyz" and then feel bad about myself when I don't.

Now I am telling myself "7-9:30 is my rest time. Of course I will do my chores, but that is all. I will eat, read, talk to dh or maybe a kid on the phone, and just generally relax. I will NOT do anything on my list."

My house is getting messier, but it is not too bad. We can clean it up this weekend (see how I said "we"? - his slippers on the living room floor are not bothering me - why do I take them upstairs all the time?)

Joan, I am glad you have a sense of progress, and that you have been able to post. I hope some day you will have a new life like Tatoulia and we will be able to feel the same joy for you.

And Tatoulia, I do feel joy when I think about your "new" reclaimed life and home - you are a bright soul and it is like watching a bird set free. Sometimes we think we are building a nest and it turns out we are really building a cage. You show us it is possible to open the cage and fly free again.

Tillie, I love museums! I love that someone else is taking care of all of this amazing stuff and that it belongs to me (as a member of the museum using public) but I don't have to store it. I have been known to long for a particular piece of art or love a display so much that I go to the gift shop and buy a reproduction or post card to keep it close to me (or in places where it is allowed - take a photo) but it is not like art fairs, where someone else might buy the work and not appreciate it and if I walk away I will never see it again (now and then I do ask an artisan if I may photograph something to show my students - when I truly want to show my students. They usually say yes)

Knowing I absolutely cannot take the thing with me actually relieves the pressure. I "have" a beautiful ancient Chinese bowl at a local museum that I go to stare at now and then. Dh does not understand why, out of the whole museum, I always have to spend so much time staring at that one little bowl from different angles, but he accepts it. We refer to it as "my" bowl.

The reuse store is also helpful to me, because I know I can go any week and buy a nice selection of random useful bits and pieces for almost nothing. Also that I can take them my random useful bits and pieces and they will get them into the hands of people who will want, appreciate, and use them. "my" "giant craft supply room" costs less than that.

That said, they did have a bag sale on rubber stamps yesterday, and I went after work and splurged quite a bit on stamps for both my studio and my classroom. I also bought some fabric for a new kind of bowl i just started making that I really like and think will sell, took some free plastic canvas shapes for next year's fiber arts class, and a free sparkly, furry plastic tiara that I plan to give the other art teacher for "crazy hat day" in two weeks. I will give a more honest and detailed accounting of the stamps and fabric later.

But, the bags were the large party gift bag type - not as big as a brown lunch bag - and I told myself I was limited to two before I started, and managed to keep to that goal (although I must confess to being an excellent bag packer)

I talked to the lady at the store, and she said I should call today and talk to the head lady, but that they might be able to take my extra plaster molds. One mold (or a couple small ones) takes up the same space as everything I bought.

Ps Joan I used to go to the movies back when I still drove at night. There's a movie theatre with independent type movies. When I'd hop in the car to go, BF would say, who are you going with? And I'd say, me, myself, and I. With the exception of the night I took a neighbor, Janie. That night I said, me, myself and Janie.

Wow! Tillie!! Great work on the new floors!

Wow! Joan!! Your self-work and break-throughs are fantastic!

Joan, I am grateful to know that you are here, even if you cannot post. I send you lots of love.

Tillie thank you for helping me sort through what happened to my life. My BF was working tons of hours and I would stay with him, bringing the kitty, and not really dealing what was going on here. I could put enough stuff into closets and the bedroom for Christmas meals. And my kitchen would be such a mess. But those days are over for us.

I remember once during a terrible snowstorm and I thought, oh no he'll have to sleep here and I was so grateful when he said that no, he needed a decent night's sleep (kitty is in and out all night; and although she doesn't sleep with me, she sleeps on his head, or wedged between his feet and the footboard). and he and a bunch of university workers got hotel rooms and they had dinner in the hotel bar and then in the AM the university police escorted back to their jobs.

Meanwhile I'm cooking for shut-Ins and cleaning trash out of other people's homes and I'm volunteering and taking care of brother and I'm hoarding and letting dirt build up and it got so bad here. So bad. I'd have to buy at least one thing a day. I bought anything and everything.

My life is far more balanced now. And I'm happy without faking it. I am frequently lauded for being so positive and kind, but a lot of it was hard work. Now I can do it more genuinely, the way I used to. And I have far better balance with helping people out. I set limits with them and me.

Goodnight my dears. Tillie rest up you worked so hard today. I hope you won't be sore.

Love to SubC and CM and Anony

CM, I am still thinking of you.

Hi SubC.

Hi Tillie. I am sorry you are going through all of that. It is very difficult with nastiness in your house.

Happily I live by myself now. I have plenty of company: me, myself, and I.

Hi Tat. You sound good. Allbirds are very mesningful to me for many reasons. They tell me I will walk free one day. Right now I cannot do much. The inability to move around a lot and the limited constructive interactions I have with the world around me do contribute to hoarding. Regular posting is too much for me, so I will come back later.

It feels like my work is coming together. If I don't have a manic episode, I will have healed my own OCD (amd hoarding). I don't know of anyone else who has done that. There will still be 30 years of hoarding to address, but it will all keep until I am able to function in the way I was designed to function.

I hope you are all well.

Good Late Afternoon Everyone

Hi Tatoulia
Thank you (((((HUGS)))))

Very impressed with all you wrote about.
I am honestly convinced you neglecting yourself, home and the hoarding was a coping mechanism for the abuse you were suffering on a daily basis.
Punishing yourself with neglect along with self medicating with the acquiring.

Extremely glad you can and do enjoy museums and art shows.
We get to learn so much from them.


Today to burn off steam I laid a parquet floor in the pantry.
Looks FANTASTIC!
Found the 12X12 inch solid hardwood "tiles" at the thrift shop a few weeks back for 15.00, they also have a hard type clear polish coating on them, just wipe them with a wet rag to clean.
There were exactly the right number of them to cover the area.
Was really delaying this project because I had to completely empty the pantry to do it.
Have not put everything back in today, just the big stuff.
Will wipe down everything little thing and replace them tomorrow.
I am very tired right now.

My pantry is where I keep all my food, cat stuff, cleaning supplies, ironing board, clothes drying rack, vacuum, water dispenser, tool tote, step ladder, large shelf to hold my food stuff, umbrellas, craft lamp, etc. and now my portable heaters/radiators & fan.
Two cupboards hanging on the wall hold all the smaller stuff.
Three large milk crates placed as shelves to store things on.
It's a very small space but it's the only place to store all these things.

Tillie your question has provoked a lot of thought on my part and I'm so grateful you asked it.

This is some stuff I've learned through being a hoarder:
1. Retailers have learned how to create a false urgency through sales and "limited editions" and I fell for them.
2. Growing up, I would save for something. There was no fear that it would be gone or unavailable; I would save up.
3. Even in my thirties, I continued to save up for things.
4. By age 40, I'd paid off my student loans.
5. Somewhere i stopped cleaning, taking care of myself, and bought things just to buy.
6. Somewhere I let my brother rule my life.
7. When I forget I had something, and I'm letting it go, I try to learn the lesson that if I forgot I even bought it, there's no chance that I'd remember that I didn't buy it, so I need to go with don't buy.

Tillie thank you for your question. For me, going to museums is a wonderful experience. I have loved going since a child. I don't feel the need to own it, I know it's there. It also informs my lasting purchases (furniture, art, tapestry, fabrics). I've learned to buy certain things in pairs (my bedroom lamps, not sure if you could see them in the pictures, are a pair as opposed to two identical lamps.).

Now, after going through the hoarding experience, going to the museum helps me get rid of stuff, the same way that going to a person's uncluttered house helps me.

I used to buy the gallery books at the gift shop but now I buy postcards only and I use them. I save them and then when I need a card, I have them.

Consignment and antique shops used to tempt me because I'd buy every cute thing without asking, where will this go m, so I need another yellow ceramic bunny, why do I have this glass elephant in my hand. I've gotten past that here. I can't do the one in/one out method or even the one in/two out methid because it's the IN that's the problem. I'm well in my way in OUT.

I can go to art auctions now and I'm good. The only thing I'd like to add is a mirror for over my fireplace, once it's built-in. I know my artist friend wants a chandelier in my bedroom (I'm good with that) but I won't do til I find something I like and at a price I'm willing to pay. She also wants sconces here and there but I only want one pair, flanking the fireplace, which I won't be buying until I've met with contractor. So I've got a few things I'll be adding to the decor to my house but nothing else. I'm truly getting through this.

I'm so sorry he is nasty. I know the nastiness. I truly do. I am still hypersensitive to it. I think that spending decades pretending it wasn't happening has damaged me a bit. I would pretend it wasn't happening, then I was pretending it didn't happen, then I'd just hope he'd break my jaw so I could find away alone. I am so, so sorry for this situation Tillie. Obviously your situation is vastly different but I still think I can understand to some extent.

I am sorry you are missing your furry friends. I know how much they loved you, Tillie. And that kind of love is very nurturing and healing.

Sending you my own love.

Good Morning Everybody

Hi Subclinical

Hi CriticalMass

Hi Tatoulia

Hi Joan


Hoping today is a better day here for me.
He has been being extremely mean & nasty.
I have been extremely furious with his uncalled for behavior.
This all has made me very depressed and I miss my cats so much it hurts.

To answer your questions Tatoulia
I used to vacuum once every week, moving small furniture and vacuuming under it.
Then I'd just vacuum around things as needed if it needed it to keep it nice.
But with him here underfoot 24/7 my house cleaning routine has gone to heck.
I want to get back to every Monday morning house cleaning.

I have often wondered how a person with hoarding tendencies feels when going to museums where they can look but not own anything there.
Have a wonderful time enjoying all the art!

How are you feeling about returning your cute shoes?

And as always, it is such a pleasure to snuggle down into those wonderful sun dried linens.

My plan for today is to try my best not to throttle him.
Not for his sake but for mine.

Good morning! Yes it's afternoon here.

Doing one load of laundry, working, and making other decisions in my mind regarding reducing stuff. It will reduce chaos for me, and that's what I need. I have two more pair of shoes to send in their way.

More sunshine today!!!!! I cannot believe my eyes. I have a gallery talk tonight (free) and I'm excited. was hoping BF could join me but he cannot. This one is in the city so I'll walk down and enjoy it. The last one we did was put quite a distance and we had to drive. The paintings are all in the tens of thousands so there's no fear I'll get tempted!!!

10 PM and I'm just getting in from mentoring someone tonight. I'm exhausted and my feet are tired. So tired.

Would love a bowl of ice cream, SubC.

Tillie I hope you had a pleasant day. I'm thinking I should start vacuuming my bedroom on Saturdays when I change my sheets. How often do you vacuum?

Cm it is a difficult time for you and your friend. It's remarkable to be able to laugh and catch up and spend time together. I send you both much love.

Joan, we had sunshine today followed by some rain. I wore the tree skippers in but a lesser shoe home.

Here's some remarkable technology: I initiated the return for the Rothys, then today I printed the label, put it on the box and walked it over to the PO, and the lady scanned it. When I checked my email this afternoon, there was already the credit in my PayPal.

Amazing.

Tillie how was your night's sleep on the wonderful air-dried sheets??

SubC, yes, that book sounds very relatable for me! I meant to mention it. I shall do a search now before I forget. Thanks!

I ended up deciding to forego quilting this morning but maybe could go tomorrow. It had to do with needing to sleep in and be less rushed. But it's okay. Sometimes I just start feeling pressured and, though I don't want to start making too many excuses to avoid things (which as a procrastinator I can easily do), I think I have to be flexible in this unusual time.

Quick note to wish everyone a gentle day.

I made cookies and cream and chocolate. I don't make fruit ice cream because I don't like it. I like my fruit put up just plain frozen or in jam, or if it's peaches, canned with a little brandy.

I have some coffee mix ready to go this morning. Then I will have TEN! pints in my freezer! (Including vanilla)

It's really frozen custard, which is why I have to get it ready the night before and chill it overnight. Great way to put up extra eggs and milk!

Joan, i'm Glad to hear you have been sleepy at bedtime. It is so frustrating to try to get yourself to bed at a good time but not be able to sleep. Dh struggles with that.

CriticalMass, I am so very sorry about your friend. I know you are making this time easier for her, and I hope you can enjoy the time you have together.

I am thinking about your doll situation and wondering if you would benefit from this book. If you want my thoughts on it, let me know.

I am sore and stiff from cleaning stalls yesterday, but feeling fairly pleased with myself. I even managed to run a load of laundry in my "leftover" time yesterday evening. Normally I would start the laundry earlier and then when I got to the evening it would be too dark to work outside, or I would be too tired to be creative.

I also started sorting my spices into my bread pan, but quit because going to bed on time is part of my heath focus. So there are still spices on the counter, but when I pass them, I just say "no, no, no." Maybe dh will put them away. Or maybe I will get back to them tonight. Housework is never truly done, so I am experimenting with leaving it half finished instead of all the things I want to do. I think spices will survive a week of neglect more easily than plants. And maybe I won't have piles of half finished projects everywhere. Which would be better than not having spices out on my counter or laundry in my hamper.

Good Evening Everyone

Hi CriticalMass
So nice that you two chat just like you always have.
You are already grieving in your heart for her, seeing her this way.
Make sure to be kind and gentle to yourself.
Glad you will quilt tomorrow and be with people.
(((((BIG, BIG HUGS)))))

Hi Joan


Hi Tatoulia
You're welcome ;)
Subclinical said she makes vanilla ice cream one day when I asked her for a scoop of peach.

Today I vacuumed and washed dishes then did a little beading.
Refreshing cool breeze coming through the windows tonight making me sleepy.

CM, I am so sorry about your friend. Passings and transitions and separations are always difficult, emotional times. I generally do refrain from trying to sway the situation one way or another, because I feel it is the sick person who has to decide what is best for herself/himself.

Good for you for balancing your yearnings for dolls with everything else that is going on. Sometimes you need a fix.

Tonight I am sleepy. It has happened now a few nights in a row. I have worked for over 66 years to be sleepy at night. I still spend my whole day, every day, engineering my activity, diet, and supplements so that I can sleep at night.

I got myself a family doctor last month, for the family of me, myself, and I. They are all boggled over there that I am even alive. It made me feel good. One nurse wanted to know "What if someone else were taking care of you?" I told her, "No. I have to do it." They had not even heard of some of the stuff I take. My body is burned out on medications, so I cannot have almost any synthetic medication.

I have survived, among other worse things, the mental heath systems in three states over a period of about 35 years. Most everyone I knew is dead. The drugs alone will kill you.

Now I am planning to have a life. Slowly.

It's been a few days longer than I meant to go without an update. My friend is still in the hospital. The doctors and our other friends (the couple with the husband being a retired firefighter and paramedic) are pretty sure her chances aren't good for survival even long enough to, say, go to a nursing home or assisted living.

She has so many issues that it's hard to say what would be the thing to take her. Mr. Paramedic says probably one of the blood clots in her heart or lungs will dislodge and she'll have a stroke. She doesn't want to think about signing a Do Not Resuscitate order though, because she felt some years back that her siblings gave up on their mother too soon. It's all rather complicated.

I pray for either a miracle or a peaceful passing when the time comes. I try to set my subconscious to dealing with anticipatory grief, and keep my conscious focused on enjoying the time we have. When she is able to talk we talk about stuff just like we always have. One day at a time, which is really all any of us gets.

Joan, good to see you back. I know about the online shopping temptation. Ordered many dolls last year. Right now I'm not buying dolls at near the rate as before, but now and then. I get frustrated because I could really enjoy making clothes for them and posting photos in my Facebook doll groups - but since there's no time to do that, I tend to want to look for another doll to buy.

With my friend being in a state that is stable-for-the-moment, if uncertain, and this week being less busy (last week I was doing the evenings with the 96-year-old friend), I'm doing a balance thing. Today I didn't go up to the hospital - I had thought to do laundry but was tired. Didn't want to take a nap and wake groggy though. So I went to Walmart and bought a doll. And some supplies to clean other dolls.

Tomorrow I will go for awhile to quilt; the ladies know the situation - I'll give them a little update, and tell them I'll be rather hit and miss for awhile till my friends situation resolves one way or the other. In other words, if I show up, I'll be there. If not, I'll be back later.

Hello Tillie! Yup we had sunshine and I went for a very pleasant walk after work! Thank you for helping me try to reconcile those years where I let it all go. I appreciate that.

I wore my Allbirds during my walk.

Joan I am sorry that your situation is so awful and I know how hard you are working. While I can never comprehend your situation, you are frequently in my thoughts. I hope you will always post here and stick around. Standing by your side.

SubC tell me what flavor if ice cream you made! I'd love a scoop of strawberry.

Goodnight dear friends.

Good Afternoon Everyone

Hi Subclinical

WAY TO GO! getting done all you got done.

Extremely elated to hear you are pursuing your passions!
I feel so bad for you when what you are passionate about always has to be put on the back burner.
GOOD LUCK and BEST WISHES!!!

YUM! home made ice cream.
I'm sure the goats have forgiven and forgotten by now.

WTG! DH, hurry and finish baseboards. ;)


Hi Tatoulia
Thank you for that evaluation of the shoes.
Pretty Summertime shoes must be comfortable enough for festivals and outdoor concerts and all the standing & walking involved.

They sure are cute, too bad they didn't pass a reality test.

YEA!!!!!!! :D finally you have sunshine!!! :D

Please release any bad feelings you have about the past.
It is in the past, leave it there.
I believe we are all put here on this Earth to learn.
We live, we learn.
((((HUG))))

It is frustrating that no-one has any grasp whatsoever of my situation.

I do not talk to anyone for exactly that reason.

The truth will come out someday. I can only hope that someone somewhere will get a clue about my work in this here lifetime.

Everyone will eventually acknowledge the work I am doing, but that is way down the road.

SubC! You are amazing! You do so much!

I love how the book is helping to direct your focus! That is terrific! I'm very pleased. You do so much in a day and I stand in awe of you. Farming, teaching, creating, ice cream.

I bet the flooring looks nice. You deserve a lovely space to live in.

Joan!

Hi! Glad you could post!
and see Tatoulia's photos - I am on an iPad also.

I slept most of the weekend. So tired! After I posted I stretched out with a new book and ended up taking a three hour nap. I did go out with dh and make some cheese on Sunday - after sleeping until almost ten (poor goats!). Also made some ice cream mix, which I froze today.

About half of the furniture is put back - dh is working on the baseboards.

I have been reading a book called "the renaissance soul" it is not about hoarding, but it is about managing your time and planning when you are pulled 100% in many many different directions. It is very me! I am trying to use it to improve the structure in my life.

The way this relates to the hoarding is that if I am passionate about x, I want all the things that go with x, and then I am also passionate about y, and z, and a, and b, and c, and pretty soon, there is no space to do any of those things and I am just curating materials and equipment.

So I am supposed to pick a few areas that are my focus "right now" and block out time for them each week, and I am actually chanting "no, no, no" out loud when I am tempted to get sidetracked by something that is not on my focus list. Like, I can't do the dishes until I finish my focus items - unless the dishes are actually in my way (so I did do them because one of my focus areas right now is "health" and one of my health goals for today was to make dinner so dh didn't get carry out again.)

So far, so good, but the start of everything is always the easy part.

Today I cleaned stalls, patched the fence, and froze the ice cream (farm)
And did yoga and made dinner (health)

Tillie based on what you've said today, I've decided to send the yellow shoes back. I tried them on today and they will not get the kind of use I expect out of my shoes. The color and style are good, great actually, but the comfort level is a bit off. They are too narrow for my feet. So I've started the return process. I do love them but I keep looking at my stuff and they won't get the kind of use that my gold flats from Anne Klein will get, and those are about a third of the cost. I can wear those all the way into office and back home. These will not be that flexible. Thank you for asking the tough questions.

I initiated the return. Goodbye, my little bits of sunshine!

We have actual sunshine today.

In my teen years, I preferred to fill the dishwasher rather than empty it because there wasn't enough room for stuff. Now when I empty my dishwasher, I pay attention.

Thank you for saying the kind things to me. The moths was a shameful time. I'd just try to sleep at BFs and ignore what was going on here. I've had too much stuff for a long time, but I let it become unlivable here. Still a work in progress. And I enjoy the progress now. So I understand about ignoring the physical world. When I'd clean brother's apt, I'd feel so superior, meanwhile, he had no idea what was going on here. By Christmas I'd get the living spaces cleared (to my untrained eye) but now the whole house is good. My now-trained eye needs to pull it together, still more to go.

Did I mention we have sunshine today??? Shocking. I'm have bedroom windows open.

When there is just TOO MUCH STUFF!
it's impossible to clean or put things away out of the way where they will stay clean.

When Steven had the entire inside of the house hideously hoarded I couldn't clean or put anything away because there was no place to put things and worst of all, I could not get to my dressers or reach anything.

I completely and totally zoned out.
Lived in my head.
Withdrew from life, was just a dead thing.

Yeah, the stuff was not mine, the hoarding was not my own personal issue
but I honestly understand what trying to function in a hoarded house does to a person's mind, spirit and emotions.

(((((HUGS)))))

Even squeaky clean neat & tidy homes that contain just the right amount of items get bugs, mold, rodents, leaks, holes and other issues.
But you can see the problem and fix it before things get dire.


Thanks Tatoulia
Sorry you had them too.
WAY TO GO!!!! folding and putting laundry away!

Your furniture is lovely and fits the building's era.
My furniture is a combination of things from here & there.
Great Grandma's (Selema) dresser, Beulah's dresser and coffee table, a few things from my Granma that belonged to her Mom or Great Aunts, rocking chair (glider) from neighbor friends and a few antique pieces I bought many decades ago.

Ugh the moths. Tillie I never told anyone but they got into my oriental rugs and I threw them out. I haven't seen a moth since. They did more than their fair share of damage here.

My vinyl rugs are lovely. They look nice and the cat vomit cleans up well. But the cat isn't to blame. I had so many opportunities to do things and I ignored them. I just would avoid certain spots in my home so I could pretend it wasn't happening.

My kitchen is tiny. I used to have so much stuff in there including my giant old microwave, which in turn was loaded LOADED with little ceramic things and bits and bobs. Now I have just Mrs Butterworth to preside over.

My furniture is a combination of things from my childhood, things I purchased as an adult and things I inherited when my friend died. I cannot wait to have my existing bookshelves built in and cabinets built below. Then they will be painted white. I'll try to make more panoramic pictures. The bedroom is fairly large and has a beautiful bow window. I have to relocate my tapestry, which is why I haven't taken a picture of it. I'll take. one of my dresser and post. My dresser used to be piled high with clothes, dirty and clean, and the chair was just a giant lump of stuff. Until you taught me to food and put away my stuff, the clean would get mixed with the dirty and then it would all fall to the floor. So gross.

I have a conference call in a few minutes. I'm so sorry about the moths, Tillie.

Good Morning Everybody

Hi Joan
Sounds like you have an online shoe shopping addiction.
Collecting things can be a fun and exciting hobby as long as it doesn't negatively impact on our finances or living spaces.
Steven had an online shopping addiction for a while.
Every day there was always something being delivered to the house.
Fortunately, that has stopped.


Hi Tatoulia
Every day I am enjoying looking at your photos.
Noticed that the areas are long and narrow.
Your furniture selection and placement works very well.
The decorations are extremely lovely!

Sounds like you had a very busy and productive Sunday.
Lots of walking and enjoyable visiting too.

I like sweet potato but have never had it in a sandwich.
That all sounds so delicious!

Keep up this GREAT job of sorting out closets.
You are doing FANTASTIC! WTG!!!


I took yesterday off from dish washing so today I will do that.
Need Steven to mow the grass so I won't do any laundry because he needs to mow that little patch under my clothesline too.

Noticed an infestation of those tiny moths in his bedroom and they are migrating to the rest of the house now.
He seriously needs to declutter and vacuum in there.
I can't spray pesticide no matter how much I may want to.

Read that clothes moths like dirty fabrics and carpets.
The moth larva can't live on just clean fibers alone.
They need the soiled fabrics/fibers in order to get the necessary nutrients.

Today I plan to thoroughly vacuum my "NO CLUTTER" zones.

Those tree breezes look really nice! I'm have all the shoes I need for now, to get me to and from work, for special events and for the weekend. As it was, I felt guilty when BF bought me two pair of the tree skippers. With this weather pattern, I'm never going to be able to wear the white ones!

Im still getting rid of things from my bedroom closet. I feel strong and capable right now, and I need to keep going on that direction.

Thank you for looking at my pictures, Joan. I appreciate it.

Ooooh - somehow I got in. Yes, your house is exactly the kind of house I pictured. Very nice. Wish I could have a pet. No way I coukd care for one so far, just happy to get through my day. Watch TV, mostly.

Thanks for sharing!

(wool loungers, not lungers - although I may try lunging in them - )

FREE shoelaces! Oh my God! I didn't know there was a STORE as close as Boston.

I really mean my house is full of Allbirds. I can really get into collecting stuff. I wear wool runners outside (better support) and wool lungers inside. Have tried the tree runners, but not the tree skippers yet (although I plan to wear them soon, have a group of them here).

The website is quite a trip. I read about them last May (2018) in the Wall Street Journal. I was drooling over them on the website, and hit the "place order" button by accident. It was scary to order anything online - but now -

Don't look now, as of this weekend there is a whole new type of shoe, "tree breezers". Some sizes already sold out. I have no high tops, not into high tops. I had a bone spur removed last August and have very mild neuropsthy now on one little toe, so the shoes are a great boon.

Would LOVE to see your pictures, but entering that on my browser just gives me options for websites. Don't think I can get to the pictures without being on Instagram. which is a bridge too far for me. May be because I only have an iPad.

Hello Tillie. Hello CM and SubC and everyone else!

Joan!!!!!!! Allbirds!!!!! I like the slimmer one or skipper one/I now forget the name. So comfy!! I have in charcoal with white sole and chalk with white!!! Like little hammocks got my feet! Gentle little places to say, hey, tiny foot, how bout resting in a cloud!! Bf got the slipper ones and he was wearing them today! Together we look totes adorbs in our charcoal Allbirds!!! Welcome to the flock! We have a store here in Boston and they have things like extra shoelaces in different colors, for free! I got some blue ones for my white sneakers.

Joanie I've been posting some pictures of my house and my life if you have any interest in looking. (No obligation). But if you do, go to Instagram.com/susie.7010

You can post the address in your browser/no need to be in instagram. I can't tell who's looked at my photos so your anonymity won't be broken.

So excited to know that your feet are doing so well!!!

Allbirds!

You read my mind. I was just thinking of how my house is full of Allbirds. It seems that that is the direction my compulsive buying has taken.

I oredered NOTHING online until last May - and this May, I am still getting Allbirds. Only comfortable shoe with the support I need that I've ever found.

There are worse addictions to have. . .

Oh boy! You have a scarecrow! Great teamwork!

I bet you'll have a good night's sleep on the clean sheets, Tillie!!

I walked all over today-in my new sneakers. I went downtown to pick up something for a neighborhood child to give to her mother for Mother's Day, then on the way home I stopped to get my new batteries for my summer watches. I posted some more pictures and I thank TIllie and SubC for sharing in my life this way. You are under no obligation but I do feel closer to both of you, knowing I can share a few visuals from my life.

I visited mom twice, and I just brought her the rest of her groceries. I changed out of my sneakers and into my Allbirds (which are also sneakers). My feet are so comfy now. They were tired after walking all over today. I met with BF for s sandwich at a local shop and had a nice time with him.

I'm now tired. I showered and washed my hair after all of my errands and before I met BF for the sandwich. My sacdwich was sweat potato, spinach, tomatoes and other delicious stuff. I have them hold the avacado. It's made on a hearty whole grain bread and is just so tasty.

I'm going to do some relaxation before calling it an early night.

Good Morning Everybody
Not yet noon here.

Hi Tatoulia
Have a great day today whatever you get up to!

Scooter snuggled all night but when I was waking up this morning he started bringing his toys into the bed and was playful.
Sometime during the night the tuna and sardines in oil must have worked to move along all that dry grass straw.
Scooped the litter box and he had passed a small scarecrow.

Been busy!
Got a lot of things done already today.
The clothesline is full of laundry.
Tonight I will sleep on fresh clean line dried bed linens.
Needed to take some ibuprofen last night and this morning for some muscle soreness but otherwise the weeding caused no other issues.
Guess I'm just out of shape. ;p

Watch and wait! That's all you can do. Good plan thank give Steven a task. Did he take anything to the dump??? It's 11:24 and I had a beautiful night's sleep. I wish they could make my bed everyday!

Perfectly comfortable having them here. I was walking by as they were leaving so I popped in, set the alarm, and kept on going.

I have more errands today but it's a Mom day. I'm not sure if she'll have the strength to go out. I still have her groceries from yesterday and I'll know she'll want things like milk and fresh fruit so maybe I can combine my errands with her grocery shopping then just spend some time with her.

Coffee clinks!

Hello Everyone

Hi CriticalMass
Was hoping you would run by today and say
May the fourth be with you.
Happy Star Wars Day. (((hug)))

Hi Subclinical



Hi Tatoulia
Thank you :)

So you are comfortable having the ladies in in your absence.
You are doing GREAT!

Sleep well...


Since Steven is always driving off all the time anyways I asked him to pick up Scooter's tuna.
He bought the right kind, with oil not water and he also bought Scooter some sardines packed in oil.
Put a little of each in a bowl and Scooter lapped up all the oil and ate some of the fish.
He's not very hungry but he just couldn't resist the fishy oil.
Now I watch and wait.

Beautiful work, Tillie! The smaller flower beds are working perfectly for you!

I am tired and yes it's not even 8 PM. But, I just had a cup of coffee with BF while we watched the Derby. I still feel like showering and climbing into my professionally made bed.

It was fun leaving the house while the three ladies did their job. Much easier on me. I returned some clothes today and I'm glad. I have all my spring/summer outfits yet it's cold and rainy here.

I cannot imagine snow on July 4th. That must have felt very, very odd, Tillie.

I stopped at grocery store to buy bread and jam and cat food for mom but I ran out of time to get it to her. Now I'm out of steam.

Talk to you later, dear friends.

HELLO ANONY AND CM!!!

Good Afternoon

Hi Subclinical

Sounds like you get an A+ for will power with that huge yard sale going on.
Nothing frivolous came home with you! :D

WTG! Mr. Kitty defending your couch!

Hi Tatoulia
I was thinking you would wear them with a Summer dress to any festivals or concerts.

YEA! for DROPPING your Winter coats off to be stored!
I have to keep mine close at hand since it has snowed here on July 4th before.

Of course they all loved your gifts, you only give them the best. ;)

Did 2 loads of laundry then went out to weed the garden.
After weeding all the flower beds I watered them all well.
Came back in and ate lunch since it was 12:00 noon!
Have done 2 more loads of laundry, stuff like table cloths etc.
Now I am watching Netflix, beading and generally relaxing.

My garden flower beds were so easy and quick to weed.
I can live with this arrangement! :D

Tillie the yellow shoes will be more of when we are going to a neighborhood restaurant or symphony hall or somewhere in a car. My Allbirds are walking around the city shoes.

SubC I am proud of your very modest purchases and that you got things you'd thought about.

My fairies have come and gone. There were three of them. They loved the clothes. They immediately try on and it's sweet. I've dripped my suits off to my car and I've Atheneum my wool coats to the cleaners for summer storage. I'm now heading to return some things.

We will watch the derby tonight.

Tillie I hope your body doesn't pay too much of a price for the garden work.

Scooter! I love the tuna in oil idea. It makes me feel like I failed an IQ test. What a great way to get oil in the kitty.

I have just a moment so will write more later. Cleaners will be here in a few minutes so I want to be ready to dash out.

Tillie,

I missed your post. I hope scooter feels better. The tuna sounds like a good idea.

We put the couch back and Mr. kitty is holding it firmly in place.

Tatoulia, I am glad you ar feeling better.

I got feed and delivered the pot. I forgot it was the big yard sale day for that town, so traffic was awful. Also I bought some things. But I am doing better.

I gave the library a dollar for a bag, but then instead of filling it all the way for Justin, I just picked up three books for me and three for dh. Then I gave their bag back.

For my classroom, I bought a cart of a type that I have been searching for for two years. It is a little beat up, but serviceable and the wheels are good. Also a game new in the box for one of my classes.

For me, I bought a whisk slightly larger than my favorite small one, with a longer handle, an interesting dish to use as a slump mold, and a bread pan to hold my spices (i've had an eye out for that for a while).

Finally, I bought a little grater to use for clay, but I don't know if I will keep it or take it to school.

Including the library, I spent $5.

Good Morning Everyone
"Tea Clink!"

Hi Subclinical
That was a very busy day yesterday.

YEA!!! for the new flooring!
Things there can now start getting back to normal for you and Mr. Kitty.

Hoping today you get in plenty of rest time.
With all your rain so nice you have your new boots.


Hi Tatoulia
Glad you're feeling better this morning.
A stress headache. Maybe it's time to schedule another massage?

Do you think the new plastic bottle shoes have enough arch support for walking and standing at events this Summer?

Have a great relaxing day walking about. :)

Hello CriticalMass :)


Just going on 8:00am here.
44 degrees is a little too chilly yet this morning, waiting for the low 50s before I get outside weeding.
Jack came by with Butter Bean yesterday morning and then alone again in the evening.
I'm concerned about Scooter. He has been eating the tall dry grass while outside and has gotten himself extremely constipated.
I keep telling him to eat the fresh juicy green grass but he never listens.
Would also help if he would allow me to brush him so he wouldn't consume so much fur.
Thinking about buying him a can of tuna packed in oil to see if that helps.
Bought him some low calorie kibble since he has gotten very fat last few months, stress eating I think.
He is unnecessarily nervous and clingy all the time since my boy kitty passed.

Going to wash two loads of assorted laundry now while I wait for it to warm up outside.

Hello SubC and Tillie!

Coffee clinks!

SubC what a roller coaster of a day you had! I'm glad that your hard work is recognized and making a difference for the kids and parents alike. I do think there'll always be a kid that you worry about. I've learned that from my work with the neighborhood kids. I still have one that I believe in, even though he's done time for felony gun charges, has been shot at twice, has four bullet holes in him (and one remaining bullet). And yet I still believe in him. I once told him, while hugging him, that he makes it really hard to love him but I still do. And one of the police officers said to me, you know, that's the type of thing he'll think about while doing time. SubC, What you are doing is important, and you may be the only pleasant memory that some kids will ever have. We just don't know. So we try. And I'm so grateful that you are out there, doing this wonderful work.

I am much improved today. The Tylenol helped and I had a good night's sleep.

Tillie I would love to be working in a garden today! Let us know if Jack stops by! As soon as I get my window boxes up, I'll send pictures. I do need to weather to get its act together.

Thank you both for looking at my pictures. I appreciate it.

I'm thinking of stripping my bed but letting the cleaners put the new sheets on.

I have a few things to return today and I'm looking forward to getting a walk in. I did a lot of walking yesterday and even though I ended up with a headache, I enjoyed the walks.

Tatoulia,

I am enjoying the pictures also.

Yesterday was...long.

Three classes with various dogs visiting - accompanied by parents, one class where I had to give a lecture (the non academic kind), two students I had to meet with individually about significant problems - one was an assignment and he really listened, the other was a behavior issue and I don't feel like I got through at all, and I am really worried about this kid. One kid who just decided he wasn't going to participate yesterday, another one with spring fever. A parent who told me pulling her son out of his school and bringing him to us was the best decision they ever made. Two hours to load the kiln with tiny pieces of work for the spring art show at school next week. A visit from an adored former student, and a really great school play.

And I put that last mold in the dumpster.

The floor is done (except dh has to put in base boards and molding) it looks really good. My feet are very happy that they don't have to walk on subfloor any more.

Today - buy feed and deliver a piece of pottery to a customer who lives near the feed store, make cheese, date with dh, try to rest. The weather is going to be awful all day - rain, rain, rain.

Hello Everyone

Hi Tatoulia
Sorry you have that nasty headache and hope the Tylenol, water, Miss Kitty and a good night's sleep fix that.

Dishes will keep for now.

I have been enjoying the pictures.
You described things so well but a picture makes it real. :)

Plan for tomorrow morning is to get out and do some weeding in my flower beds.
The weeds are big enough now that I can easily grab them, about 2 or 3 inches tall.