Good Morning Everyone

Hi Subclinical
YEA!!!!! for the finished new room!!!
Sorry that it took a toll on your hips.

The closest business I could walk to is the plant nursery out on the highway, about 5 miles from here.
Used to be a ranch 3 miles away where they sold goat milk and cheese but she has retired.
Just around the corner from me is a tiny one room church with people who don't talk to anybody. (?)

That is very sad and upsetting about the kid.
Young and inexperienced mama. :(


Hi Tatoulia
Your dinner out with Mom sounds delicious. :)

You may get snow on the fourth of July if the weather keeps being so unusual.

September is only -4 months away.
Plenty of time for you to live with your decision about not keeping the car and see if it's really what you want to do.


Slept in this morning.
Going to be up to 80 degrees today.
Today I plan to psyche myself up into going grocery shopping tomorrow or Wednesday.
Maybe Wednesday the fresh produce will be restocked.
Last time I went the produce was scant and not very fresh looking at all so I didn't get much.
Waiting for the other rhubarb stalks to get ready to pick.

Thanks for the support on the car. It's a good one. I'll jerp this a while longer. My garage renewal is September so I'll decide then whether to keep another year. I think the answer will be no.

I am home today, working on a project. So I'll be in touch a bit later.

Tatoulia, I also think the car decision is a good one.

Yes Tillie, if I didn't have a car, I could go to the Methodist church (one mile) k-2 school or fire station (a mile and a half in opposite directions), or three-ish miles to the tractor store, post office, cafe that is open 4 days a week or presbyterian church. There is a farmer's market at the fire station Thursday nights may-October. It is at least nine miles to anything else. - all of that is the one way distance.

CM, I remain hopeful for your friend.

I am not a huge fan of laundry mats and am overwhelmed by huge piles of clean laundry, so I am not a good screen for your thought, but if you think it will help you - go for it!

Yesterday dh finished the floor trim (there remains one raw doorway into the old section of the house) and we put most of the furniture back. Now both of my hips hurt, but the room looks really nice.

Now there is a sad and awful thing, so maybe stop reading. The new buckling's mama laid on him yesterday and crushed him. I have never had that happen before. Now I have a new thing to worry about.

Hello Tillie! Yes mom got her scallops, baked or broiled with a few breadcrumbs on top, with mashed potatoes and also cooked carrots. I had beet salad, no dressing, with shrimp.

I'm just back home now. I had BF leave me at mim's so I could install her new TV antenna and scan for channels. The new one does work much better.

I would love to get more of a walk in right now but it's simply too raw and cold. Central Mass is getting snow, which is crazy.

I haven't decided if I'll go in on a rare Monday tmr.

I haven't done any closet work today so perhaps I'll get my exercise that way.

Good Afternoon Everyone
Just now 12 noon here.

Hi CriticalMass
Getting ALL the laundry done at the laundromat is a fantastic plan.
Make sure to have bags or bins to hold the clean laundry in at home so it doesn't get messed up.
I have found that late at night I have had the entire laundromat all to myself and was able to use all the machines at once so it did not take as long as waiting for one or two loads to finish before starting on the next loads.

Thank you for that positive update on your friend.
It is a hard time when people must realize that they can no longer live independently.
Since she was unable to take better care of herself and got so ill, assisted living could insure a better quality of life for her.



Hi Tatoulia
You not owning a car is very logical.
In a big city there are taxis & buses & other means to get around.
If you absolutely need to drive somewhere there is always car rentals.
Here, where I live, without a car I have no way to go anywhere.
Subclinical probably has the same situation.
Country living cannot be done without a vehicle.

Did your Mom get her scallops?


I am highly allergic to roses.
Right now I have hundreds of them blooming in my yard.
Cough, cough, sneeze, sneeze, sniffle, sniffle....

Cm!!! Imagine my joy, after a cold, raw, rainy walk, to read your post!

You are doing a good job keeping hope and faith alive. You are being very thoughtful about what the next steps for your friend May look like. I'm glad you could catch a nap in her room.

I do think getting the laundry washed, dried and folded in one big swoop sounds like a good idea. It will take much longer than you think, and it will be worth every minute and every dollar. One thing that has helped me immensely is being able to put my laundry away. You may not be at that point yet but I am all for laundry! I wish I could do it for you. I find it immensely therapeutic.

I'm going to shower now and get ready for the meal with mom. I am feeling very tired. It may be allergies for me too, CM

Hi ladies, Happy Mother's Day if it applies, happy day in May in any case. I glanced through posts quickly. SubC, the hippos were a stroke of genius. Tatoulia, I will pray for your impoverished family to have what they need and hope for a brighter future. Good of you to care and help them.

My friend started to see some improvement towards the end of the week. Hope it is a trend! Her breathing is better - they were able to lower her oxygen. Her color earlier in the week had concerned me. Sort of pale orange. My friend said it was the toxins. But she's had a couple rounds of dialysis and her color looks more normal.

It would really be something if she were able to go to a nursing home or assisted living. Although if that happens, I know she will have more mixed feelings than we who simply would rather not have to say goodbye. She wants to live independently, but when she has, clutter and mold and bugs have been a problem due to her lack of mobility, and she tries to get along without the oxygen and diuretic medicine - I learned this is why she crashed so badly.

So we wait and see, support, encourage, and if it comes down to it, help her adapt to a "new normal."

I have a touch of spring allergies at the moment, but glad it's not a cold. Tired at times, rest when I can. Even napped in her room in the recliner when she dozed off! Today I discovered a drip under the kitchen sink - the new one from last summer/fall - here at the house. It looks like just the seal around the drain or maybe the joint in the pipe. Hopefully an easy fix.

My own room looks like it has been shaken AND stirred... I'm brainstorming strategies like maybe taking all the laundry at once to a laundromat. It would cost, but maybe feel like the time saved would be less stressful. At home it gets so easy to procrastinate because so many things need to be done at once and indecision sets in. But at the laundromat I'd be positioned to focus and "Git 'er Done!" - what do you think?

We had a beautiful sunny day yesterday, Tillie. And now it's raining cats and dogs. I'm heading up to see BF then will walk around the city for a bit.

Tillie, SubC, everyone, I've decided not to replace my car. I don't know how long I'll keep it, but I cannot justify getting another car. That's good news. I'm excited. The reasons I want a new car don't make financial sense.

I'm feeling good, having made this decision. It's right for me.

Good Morning

Hi Subclinical

Hi Tatoulia

Going to go fill the clothesline up...

Happy Mother's Day!!!

We will take mom out later in the day. It's rainy and cool and I'd like to get my walk in. I'm having my first cup of coffee and someone is being all snuggly.

SubC I am fascinated about your body changing with the swimming! You really are remarkable. I am in awe of your dedication and ability to fit so much into a day! I am able to be joint pain free most of the days. I have some knee pains here and there. I broke both my knees as a child and my ankle twice. So I'll have knee pain but nothing that I notice. I went through a period of extreme hip pain for a period, maybe a month, but that's been gone for several years. In all, my body is so happy being lighter and I hope the next ten pounds will help it along.

Yes, Tillie, a freshly baked muffin is a cure-all!! Oh gee whiz scooter, have we learned nothing??

So I'll enjoy the quietude of the AM and plan my walk.

Happy mother's Day Tatoulia and all!

It is a weird holiday, and we rarely celebrate it except dh and I call our moms. Ds might call me today if his wife reminds him and he feels like it.

(My kids will roll their eyes and tell you how I feel about "Hallmark holidays")

Bunny is much more active with all that weight off!

Last night dh and I went out and it took me forever to get ready. I'm having a really hard time with my body lately. It is changing shape from swimming, in a good way I guess because the waist of my jeans is looser, and the abdominal fat is the most unhealthy part, but I guess I am building muscle, because I am actually gaining weight. And the weight gain is just as hard on my joints as if it were fat. And my clothes don't look or feel right anymore. Once school is out and my evaluations are done, I need to bite the bullet and attack my closet. I will need to dedicate at least a full day.

Good Evening Everybody

Hi CriticalMass
Thinking about you (((HUG)))

Hi Subclinical
I am glad you did not dig the ditch.
Bet Bunny is feeling good having all that extra fuzz off her.


Hi Tatoulia
YEA!!! for the closet project!
GO YOU!!!

LOL that you come armed with a muffin to your Mom's.

Today I watered the flowers/plants, the trees and the grass.
Buried down in the blooming wild rose bushes I have rhubarb growing.
I'm all out of fresh fruit & veg but I harvested some nice rhubarb stalks while I was out there.
Baked a rhubarb cobbler.
Cleaned the kitchen afterward.

Allowed Scooter to come outside with me but when I was busy he would nibble on the dry grass.
Think I was able to keep him from eating too much but I have a can of tuna in oil on hand Justin Case. ;/

I started running errands at 300 today and just finished them. I'd stopped in my house around 4:45 to use the ladies room then was off again I forgot my phone here st some point and so couldn't take any picture. The absolute second I walked in my door, my phone beeped with a text. It was one of the neighbors wanting to stop by with a Mother's Day gift from her and her children. I was so tired and didn't want to get stuck with someone hanging out so I went to her house instead. Then I saw BF and then she drove me home.

I am so tired. In the best possible way

I saw mom today and cleaned the litter box. I also took care of my cat's box. Will work on my closet more tomorrow! Mom wants to go for dinner with NF and me and so we shall. She's craving scallops.

SubC you are amazing!!!

Tatoulia, hurray for your closet progress!

I did not dig the ditch because my back is still too sore from cleaning stalls.

I also did not grade papers. I was still feeling angry about the kids who did not turn their projects in and that was not a good frame of mind.

I did work on grooming the bunny. I am now laughing that I thought she was half done. She is maybe not half done now. But she is much better. She let me cut the mats away from around her face and back legs, (she gets cheek pompoms in the winter) and I brushed a stuffed full plastic grocery bag of loose fur from her back and sides. She still needs her ruff and belly done, and more mats cut around her tail. I have to be very careful around her tail because it is so small and hidden - I don't want to nick it.

I also cut some maple branches that were starting to overhang my peach tree, and gave them to the goats for a treat. (More arms and shoulders - less back.

Thank you. There's also a neighborhood benefit office right here and I'm going to see if we can get some emergency funds over there ASAP. I've talked to BF today a couple of times but haven't asked re the family yet. I can make sure they are getting all available benefits and will also go by the women's shelter to see if I can get food from their pantry. I have volunteered there and in addition to providing three nutritious meals each day they have a good pantry with meats and eggs and staples such as rice and pasta. They ask no questions so it wouldn't be uncomfortable for me to go with the wife or one of the children and get a bag of food. I will also, quietly, make a monetary donation next week. My company will double it.

I'm more comfortable getting the family acclimated to additional benefits and food pantries than I am for giving them money. If my BF decides to buy them a car, I'm good with it. It will get the father back to work and he can pay BF on minimal installments. (No interest). Right now the dad's walking the kids to their various schools and walking them back home, which I think is so loving. I like his attitude, used to drive them, well, now he's walking. We need to get him back to work. I think the daughter I know is doing okay because she hasn't texted me since Monday. And I spoke with her on the phone on Wednesday.

They may have already availed themselves of these resources but I don't mind be better versed in what's around to help them navigate any paperwork or red tape. I used to do a lot of this type of stuff for people and I'm out of practice.

Closet going well! And I've washed up the tops for the ladies and I've hung them on my rack to dry. I have back and front windows open (one each) . I'll be breaking in a bit to visit with BF. I just had a sandwich. Prosciutto and fig jam.

I will be out in the sunshine soon!!! I will stop up at mom's and change kitty's box and maybe bring mom a blueberry muffin from the cafe. So juicy and delicious.

Yesterday was a true mental break for me. I slept well and happily.

Okay will check on where I've left off on the closet and choose one or two more things to do before heading out.

I'll go do my dishes now too, Tillie!!

Good Morning Everybody

Hi Subclinical
YEA! for a fine Nanny goat and her baby boy!

Your hippos are precious.
So wonderful that you think like a small child and know what they need. (((hug)))

Hope the rabbit is into the grooming and you both find it an enjoyable experience.
Good luck with the ditch digging, don't over do.


Hi Tatoulia
Another place for her to check out is W.I.C.
Women infants and children.
They make sure that pregnant or lactating mothers, infants and children get the proper nutrition and other things to insure proper development no matter the income level.


YEA! for those healthy challenges at work!
I know you will earn your next $100 since you are getting to be such a pro now at decluttering and organizing. ;)

Make sure to get outside and enjoy all those beautiful Spring blooms.

Saw you posted again before I posted...
GO! GO! GO!
You are on a roll! :D


Didn't wash dishes yesterday so I'll do that today.
Need to put a little water on my garden today.
Will decide what else I'll do as I think of it.

Congratulations!

Ladies, I'm doing it! I'm in my closet and my dresser drawers and I'm doing it. I found a bunch of artwork that someone gave me once. Forgot I had it. Have all pieces but one in the donation bin. I also found a Jean skirt I forgot I had so I started a wash with my jeans and the found skirt and a fleece. That way the skirt and fleece will be clean and ready for the cleaners. I also chose three tops from my drawers which I thought I'd wear again the last two times I assessed my drawers but can safely say I won't wear them again. I'll wash them up later today because I think the cleaners will like them. I also chose a recent blouse from my closet because it's just too big now and it's fall/winter colors and I'll be damned if it fits next year.

Ok I am doing this!!!! I am so happy right now.

I put a pair of shoes in donation bin. So I have cleaners pile and donation pile. I know the cleaners say they want everything but honestly some of this stuff is still usable but not in the condition for friends.

Ok I'm doing it!!!

😊

My two year old first fresher had her baby - a little buckling, which is disappointing since I am already swimming in boys, but he is adorable and she has a nice little udder and I milked her out a little and she has good teats. I will definitely keep her in the breeding rotation.

SubC, if I ever lose my memory, I want the last memory to be this hippo story.

Tatoulia,

I am glad that family has you guys. It makes me sad that in a country that has so much, we don't have a better floor under everyone.

I remember having a conversation with a coworker about heart Dd needing to learn that she should ask for help when she needed it - that it was insane to let her water get shut off and have to pay a reconnection fee when she could borrow $20 interest free from me for a few weeks and just pay it! (It is EXPENSIVE to be poor in America.)

And my coworker said "i've done things like that. It's embarrassing to admit that you can't pay your bills." And I told her, well it shouldn't be. I know what you do for a living, and I know how much you get paid, and there are a LOT of people who should be embarrassed if you can't pay your bills, but you are not one of them. And I usually have $20, so please ask!

I don't know if i've Explained the hippos or not.

When I first started doing pottery shows, all my work was raw fired in black and white and shades of grey. So my booth was kind of dull. I tried bright table cloths to set it off and draw the eye, and that worked ok, but it was still pretty stark. I also noticed that a lot of people brought kids to pottery fairs, and everything was breakable and there was nothing kid friendly and kids want to touch everything, and the parents spent a lot of time saying "don't touch that." And couldn't relax, so they weren't having fun, and they weren't buying.

So, I started making these chunky little hippos in bright colors that were rounded and smooth and didn't quite fit in a choke tester and could be dropped from kid height onto a wooden floor and usually not chip or break. Then I spread them around my pottery for color and set up a bunch of them low in the front of my display posed on wooden blocks and colored felt.

So the parents got to my booth and the kids would start rearranging the hippos and the parents would say "don't touch..." and I would say "oh, it's perfectly fine, that's why they're there." And then I would talk to the kid about the hippos and other stuff - because I like talking to kids better than talking to adults - and the parents would stay longer at my booth and relax a little and sometimes they would buy a pot, and often they would buy a hippo or two, because they are cheap, and if your kid has two little hippos that just fill his hands, he is going to be happier and a lot less likely to touch stuff!

And sometimes before a show I would tuck a few hippos into a glaze firing at school (the kiln always fires better full, so I usually top a load off if I need to get it done) and the kids would see them, and they asked about them and a lot of them said "I want a hippo!" And I have a lot of students. So I started saying "I'll make you a hippo when you graduate."

So every year I send out notes to all the graduating seniors who have ever taken one of my classes and remind them that they are entitled to a hippo if they want one, please return this card. And they can tell me what color they want and if they want it marked with the school name and/or their year of graduation. And I make them hippos. The end.

I am being slow and lazy this morning. I don't have any firm plans, but I have a ditch to dig, a rabbit to groom, and a lot of papers to grade.

Thanks Tillie. I've been worrying a lot. I was thinking of maybe taking them to the food bank. They haven't asked for a thing; we are just worried. I have discussed with BF about transferring my car but he doesn't want me to do it. He's considering finding him a car, buying it, and having him pay him $100 a month. I suggested we just monitor for now, with the exception of getting them food/food money. But if his car situation didn't work out soon, we will have to get him a car. We feel morally obligated and he can afford it.

I've been stressed about this since Wednesday. Secretly stressed. And it came on the heels of the very intense mentoring session with someone Tuesday night. The good part is, I can recognize this, so I can take care of it/make changes.

Today was wonderful. I enjoyed just being me with no real obligations. Tomorrow will also be a good day because I won't have to do my sheets and other stuff.

I'll have to find out what mom wants for mother's day, in terms of activities. I came take her someplace or we can have BF take us out for dinner. She won't have enough strength to do two things.

We have all these healthy challenges at work, can earn up to $100 a quarter. I got my $100 last quarter and am well on my way for this quarter. Well next week's challenge is on organization/decluttering. I picked my bedroom closet. I'll have to look over the rules again, to see what we are supposed to do. I think it's a one-week challenge but I cannot now remember. I was just excited to have something that fits in here. So I'll have some photos in the coming week of the bedroom closet!!!

Our dogwood are out. There are pink petals from our cherry trees everywhere and our lilacs are gearing up toward the future. Very pretty.

What about a food bank, community cupboard?
There must be several in the area.
Even with food stamps it's rarely ever enough to last the entire month.

What about St. Vincent's?
In Reno they have food and give free work clothes and help people who are unemployed get back on their feet.

Wishing them the best of luck

Tillie, isn't that something, how the flooring is making you so happy? I'm so grateful you found the tiles and had a good time getting them in place.

After haircut I walked down to my bank to get $ to pay him. I also owed him for mom's haircut last week. Then I went to a cafe and had a delicious, freshly-baked corneal blueberry tarts I had an enjoyable cup of coffee and read my kindle. Then I ran home to put my sheets in the dryer and grab an umbrella, then up to bring BF his blueberry muffin together with a birthday card one of my friends sent to him here. We spent some nice time together then I came back here, started a second load of laundry, made my bed then out to the grocery store. I got asparagus and some sun-dried tomatoes. I'll make pasta tomorrow. I also got some prosciutto.

Now I'm waiting for my pj load of laundry to be finished.

We are helping a family right now that is in dire straights. BF asked me to get a mother's day present for the mom, which I did, so that one of the daughters can give it to her. Then he got a card for her to give her mom. They are out of money for food. The father's car finally died for good and he can't work. The new car from his cousin doesn't work. The dad was practically crying. So I think BF is going to give him some food money. This saga has been going on for almost a week. One of the daughters is very sweet and very starved for affection. It's a tough situation. Mother is pregnant with sixth child. And it's all gone to hell in the last week.

It has been worrying me terribly. I was with BF when he called the father today to see the status on the "new" car. Bf is trying to figure it out. We told the girl that I was going to do something for her to thank her for the lovely picture she drew for my birthday, and when I heard she needed suggestions for a mother's day gift, I decided to buy a pretty watch for her mom.

They are decent, hard-working people. They are out of money, and I don't think their food stamp money comes in til next week. This has been worrying me so much. I'm glad BF said he'll see they are fed.

Good Morning Everybody

Hi Subclinical

" the rabbit is not necessary to my lesson plan, so maybe this is a case of learning not to pack in one more thing. She can go next week, or the last day."

YES! ;D

WAY TO GO! working in the barn, planting, lesson plans, glazing a dish and finishing the Hippos!
Plus all the other things you did and thinking through future plans.

Have a wonderful time tonight with dinner with the kids.

Thank you
I really impressed myself too doing the flooring project.
I keep looking in there saying "WOW"!


Hi Tatoulia
Getting an earlier hair cut means the rest of the day is free of appointments & obligations.

Stairs!
Yes, at first it hurts to stretch those muscles but very quickly the pain stops and your legs and behind start to look fantastic!
When I worked surgeries the doctor and I always raced each other up & down the stairs at the hospital because it was some of the best exercise.

Maybe nobody will need the washer before you get back and put them in the dryer yourself?


Don't have any plans for today.
Chilly and breezy and not expected to warm up much today.
So I won't be doing laundry.
Jack came by this morning and turned his nose up at his breakfast cereal.
Will probably just take today off and keep admiring the pantry floor.
Those hardwood flooring squares were ridiculously easy to work with.
Tongue and groove that you lightly tap into each other.
Reminded me of those wooden puzzles I played with in kindergarten.

Hair dresser just asked if I can come in at 11:45 instead. Yes, I can. I was just stripping my bed and going to put in washer. I will wait. I don't want someone else having to put my sheets in the dryer. I'm picky about my sheets.

After I wrote the above, I decided, just out your sheets in the washer. And so I did.

Going to wash my face and get ready to leave. He's only 20 minutes away, if that.

SubC hippos for your grads!!! More information please! You are amazing in every way. If you've previously discussed the hippos, forgive me as it didn't register.

The yellow roses must be so beautiful, Tillie.

I am up. And having coffee. No agenda. Until 3:00 when I get my hair cut.

The garbage has been picked up. Mine is not out. Monday night it is!! Nothing to get upset about.

I'm thinking of going to a cafe and bringing my kindle with me.

My calves are sore, I started climbing steps with a woman at work yesterday. I did 6 flights up and 6 down in the morning, then 8 flights up and 8 down in the afternoon.

I'm feeling peaceful and calm. I was thinking of bringing breakfast to BF but Friday AMs are a busy times for him.

Tillie, I can't believe I forgot to post about your pantry project - I was really impressed!

Tatoulia - I hope you feel better.

Dh is taking the day off to work on the baseboards.

The house is a mess, and I am just as tired as usual on Fridays, but, I feel better about the barn, I got some planting done, and I am on top of my lesson planning (although I wish I had finished grooming the rabbit yesterday - I wanted to take her in today, but I don't want to take her half groomed. OTOH, we have dinner with the kids tonight, and the rabbit is not necessary to my lesson plan, so maybe this is a case of learning not to pack in one more thing. She can go next week, or the last day.

I did very little actual work on my pottery - glazed one dish and stuck it in the school kiln, plus finished the hippos for my grads - but I did pick up my work from last class session and discuss my results with dh, get some new tools, bring home scrap clay, sign up for a late summer class, and develop some ideas. I forgot to call the reuse store lady.

Good Evening Everybody

Hi Tatoulia
I believe that by working through the problem the reason for it becomes secondary.
Decluttering and cleaning we feel all the various emotions, the guilt, the shame, the remorse, the grief, the anger, the hurt.
We feel it all, no longer running away from our emotions is what heals us.
We move on into the future, living in the present and quit living in the past.
(((HUG)))

Have a wonderful and relaxing day tomorrow! :D

Relaxation time is like open space.
Plus the more clear our spaces are the more time we have to relax and recreate.


This morning was sunny and very pleasant.
This afternoon the clouds gathered and we had extreme winds, thunder and a big gully washer but the downpour didn't last very long.

Pantry is all put back together.
The whole project start to finish only took two ibuprofen.
Only project now is the ceiling in my room but I have to wait for the roof to be fixed first.

Last several days the wild yellow roses have been blooming.
Hundreds of blooms and they smell so pretty.
I have gathered up a large decorative crystal bowl full of the fragrant petals.

Loved reading all the posts! Yay Tillie no critters in the pantry! I bet it looks really nice now! Ooohhh a nice Imari bowl! Did he know it was a museum and not a shop? Ridiculous!!!

SubC your thought process on the stamps is spot-on.

I don't think I've ever directly discussed how I got here and how bad it had gotten. I generally like to work on the problem and then do a post-mortem. Or ignore the cause altogether. This has been interesting for me this week to discuss it fairly directly.

I am taking tomorrow off. I don't feel like myself. I have moved my haircut to the afternoon.

I should be at work but I asked for the day and I got it. I'm m hoping to bake or do something else to find some relaxation. My Tuesday night mentor ship ended up being pretty intense. I will limit myself with this particular person to day time activities because the open ended nature is too difficult. And then I've been worried about someone else, too. So I'll enjoy my day and maybe work on my closet or maybe not. M
Oh! SubC!!!! When you talked about down-time/all I could think about is Tillie saying, open space is an object. Relaxation time is doing something. It's taking care of yourself.

Thank you all for giving me friendship and advice and for caring about me.

Good Morning Everybody

Hi Subclinical
Wonderful posts. I love catching up on all you have going on in your life.

That book sounds like it is really going to help you.
You always try to do the work of at least three other people in any given day and get disappointed when you can't do it all.
And I would find it depressing that you were too often sacrificing doing your art.

Sometimes we do need to buy things.
I believe you will get a lot of use from the craft items at home and at school.
Plus I know that if something is not getting used you will pass it along to someone else who has a use for it.

Thank you so much for telling me about your take on museums and the reuse store.
When I dug up a cannonball in my yard I gave it to the museum to put in their pile of other cannonballs piled next to the cannon.
Thought that was the best place for me to keep it.
When I was a docent at the museum a large very loud man once tried to buy our Imari bowl.
He was quite angry that a museum would refuse to sell the item to him (?).


Hi Tatoulia
LOL, Miss Kitty sleeps on his head or at his feet.
she loves him. :D
Hoarding and squalor is not always just about the stuff.
There is usually something else going on and the mess and lack of self care are just an outward symptom.
(((HUG)))

Hi Joan

Hi CriticalMass

Well, today I need to wipe down everything from the pantry and put it all back neatly organized.
Then my pantry will be Spring cleaned!
When I took everything out yesterday to lay the flooring I did not find ANY evidence of bugs or mice.
Just a very thin coating of dust on some things.

Serial posting, but I have unloaded the car and admired my stamp haul.

One stamp for me to actually use with ink - perfect for a gift card or note to my mom.

Four (vintage?)crocheted doilies (fabric) to use to impress designers on bowls.

One clay press mold for me that I forgot.

Six new roller wheel stamps and two additional handles for my class, and 14 roller wheel stamps for me (I may decide to turn some over to the class after I try them for a while)

And 29 assorted wood block rubber stamps (mostly around 1"sq) for me.(again, may pass some on to the class later)

Plus, one accidentally left in the handle ink pad to go back to the shop (It was included fairly in my purchase, but I have no use for it.)

I lost a piece of my post! When talking about the reuse store, I said "the cost is like a membership or storage fee. "My" pool costs me $15 a month. "My""giant craft supply room" costs less than that."

It's great to see so much going on in here!

CM, the book is written primarily as if for working people, so you have to look at the theory under the application and ignore the career parts.

One thing that is hard for me and I can see in my life, but am struggling to truly understand and apply, is that your focus time is not your rest time. Just because you are doing something that is only for you, that is creative or uplifting, it does not mean you are resting. Something can be fun and still be work. You also have to schedule open time into your days when you actually rest - effectively "do nothing". Times to turn you brain and body off and slack in your day to be spontaneous. You can't schedule and use every minute.

I have a really hard time with the fact that when I get home after 7:00, I am tired and generally "accomplish nothing" between the and bed ("nothing" being my evening chores, dinner, making my plan for the next day, and sometimes a few dishes.) I always think "I will have a couple of hours, I can take care of xyz" and then feel bad about myself when I don't.

Now I am telling myself "7-9:30 is my rest time. Of course I will do my chores, but that is all. I will eat, read, talk to dh or maybe a kid on the phone, and just generally relax. I will NOT do anything on my list."

My house is getting messier, but it is not too bad. We can clean it up this weekend (see how I said "we"? - his slippers on the living room floor are not bothering me - why do I take them upstairs all the time?)

Joan, I am glad you have a sense of progress, and that you have been able to post. I hope some day you will have a new life like Tatoulia and we will be able to feel the same joy for you.

And Tatoulia, I do feel joy when I think about your "new" reclaimed life and home - you are a bright soul and it is like watching a bird set free. Sometimes we think we are building a nest and it turns out we are really building a cage. You show us it is possible to open the cage and fly free again.

Tillie, I love museums! I love that someone else is taking care of all of this amazing stuff and that it belongs to me (as a member of the museum using public) but I don't have to store it. I have been known to long for a particular piece of art or love a display so much that I go to the gift shop and buy a reproduction or post card to keep it close to me (or in places where it is allowed - take a photo) but it is not like art fairs, where someone else might buy the work and not appreciate it and if I walk away I will never see it again (now and then I do ask an artisan if I may photograph something to show my students - when I truly want to show my students. They usually say yes)

Knowing I absolutely cannot take the thing with me actually relieves the pressure. I "have" a beautiful ancient Chinese bowl at a local museum that I go to stare at now and then. Dh does not understand why, out of the whole museum, I always have to spend so much time staring at that one little bowl from different angles, but he accepts it. We refer to it as "my" bowl.

The reuse store is also helpful to me, because I know I can go any week and buy a nice selection of random useful bits and pieces for almost nothing. Also that I can take them my random useful bits and pieces and they will get them into the hands of people who will want, appreciate, and use them. "my" "giant craft supply room" costs less than that.

That said, they did have a bag sale on rubber stamps yesterday, and I went after work and splurged quite a bit on stamps for both my studio and my classroom. I also bought some fabric for a new kind of bowl i just started making that I really like and think will sell, took some free plastic canvas shapes for next year's fiber arts class, and a free sparkly, furry plastic tiara that I plan to give the other art teacher for "crazy hat day" in two weeks. I will give a more honest and detailed accounting of the stamps and fabric later.

But, the bags were the large party gift bag type - not as big as a brown lunch bag - and I told myself I was limited to two before I started, and managed to keep to that goal (although I must confess to being an excellent bag packer)

I talked to the lady at the store, and she said I should call today and talk to the head lady, but that they might be able to take my extra plaster molds. One mold (or a couple small ones) takes up the same space as everything I bought.

Ps Joan I used to go to the movies back when I still drove at night. There's a movie theatre with independent type movies. When I'd hop in the car to go, BF would say, who are you going with? And I'd say, me, myself, and I. With the exception of the night I took a neighbor, Janie. That night I said, me, myself and Janie.

Wow! Tillie!! Great work on the new floors!

Wow! Joan!! Your self-work and break-throughs are fantastic!

Joan, I am grateful to know that you are here, even if you cannot post. I send you lots of love.

Tillie thank you for helping me sort through what happened to my life. My BF was working tons of hours and I would stay with him, bringing the kitty, and not really dealing what was going on here. I could put enough stuff into closets and the bedroom for Christmas meals. And my kitchen would be such a mess. But those days are over for us.

I remember once during a terrible snowstorm and I thought, oh no he'll have to sleep here and I was so grateful when he said that no, he needed a decent night's sleep (kitty is in and out all night; and although she doesn't sleep with me, she sleeps on his head, or wedged between his feet and the footboard). and he and a bunch of university workers got hotel rooms and they had dinner in the hotel bar and then in the AM the university police escorted back to their jobs.

Meanwhile I'm cooking for shut-Ins and cleaning trash out of other people's homes and I'm volunteering and taking care of brother and I'm hoarding and letting dirt build up and it got so bad here. So bad. I'd have to buy at least one thing a day. I bought anything and everything.

My life is far more balanced now. And I'm happy without faking it. I am frequently lauded for being so positive and kind, but a lot of it was hard work. Now I can do it more genuinely, the way I used to. And I have far better balance with helping people out. I set limits with them and me.

Goodnight my dears. Tillie rest up you worked so hard today. I hope you won't be sore.

Love to SubC and CM and Anony

CM, I am still thinking of you.

Hi SubC.

Hi Tillie. I am sorry you are going through all of that. It is very difficult with nastiness in your house.

Happily I live by myself now. I have plenty of company: me, myself, and I.

Hi Tat. You sound good. Allbirds are very mesningful to me for many reasons. They tell me I will walk free one day. Right now I cannot do much. The inability to move around a lot and the limited constructive interactions I have with the world around me do contribute to hoarding. Regular posting is too much for me, so I will come back later.

It feels like my work is coming together. If I don't have a manic episode, I will have healed my own OCD (amd hoarding). I don't know of anyone else who has done that. There will still be 30 years of hoarding to address, but it will all keep until I am able to function in the way I was designed to function.

I hope you are all well.

Good Late Afternoon Everyone

Hi Tatoulia
Thank you (((((HUGS)))))

Very impressed with all you wrote about.
I am honestly convinced you neglecting yourself, home and the hoarding was a coping mechanism for the abuse you were suffering on a daily basis.
Punishing yourself with neglect along with self medicating with the acquiring.

Extremely glad you can and do enjoy museums and art shows.
We get to learn so much from them.


Today to burn off steam I laid a parquet floor in the pantry.
Looks FANTASTIC!
Found the 12X12 inch solid hardwood "tiles" at the thrift shop a few weeks back for 15.00, they also have a hard type clear polish coating on them, just wipe them with a wet rag to clean.
There were exactly the right number of them to cover the area.
Was really delaying this project because I had to completely empty the pantry to do it.
Have not put everything back in today, just the big stuff.
Will wipe down everything little thing and replace them tomorrow.
I am very tired right now.

My pantry is where I keep all my food, cat stuff, cleaning supplies, ironing board, clothes drying rack, vacuum, water dispenser, tool tote, step ladder, large shelf to hold my food stuff, umbrellas, craft lamp, etc. and now my portable heaters/radiators & fan.
Two cupboards hanging on the wall hold all the smaller stuff.
Three large milk crates placed as shelves to store things on.
It's a very small space but it's the only place to store all these things.

Tillie your question has provoked a lot of thought on my part and I'm so grateful you asked it.

This is some stuff I've learned through being a hoarder:
1. Retailers have learned how to create a false urgency through sales and "limited editions" and I fell for them.
2. Growing up, I would save for something. There was no fear that it would be gone or unavailable; I would save up.
3. Even in my thirties, I continued to save up for things.
4. By age 40, I'd paid off my student loans.
5. Somewhere i stopped cleaning, taking care of myself, and bought things just to buy.
6. Somewhere I let my brother rule my life.
7. When I forget I had something, and I'm letting it go, I try to learn the lesson that if I forgot I even bought it, there's no chance that I'd remember that I didn't buy it, so I need to go with don't buy.

Tillie thank you for your question. For me, going to museums is a wonderful experience. I have loved going since a child. I don't feel the need to own it, I know it's there. It also informs my lasting purchases (furniture, art, tapestry, fabrics). I've learned to buy certain things in pairs (my bedroom lamps, not sure if you could see them in the pictures, are a pair as opposed to two identical lamps.).

Now, after going through the hoarding experience, going to the museum helps me get rid of stuff, the same way that going to a person's uncluttered house helps me.

I used to buy the gallery books at the gift shop but now I buy postcards only and I use them. I save them and then when I need a card, I have them.

Consignment and antique shops used to tempt me because I'd buy every cute thing without asking, where will this go m, so I need another yellow ceramic bunny, why do I have this glass elephant in my hand. I've gotten past that here. I can't do the one in/one out method or even the one in/two out methid because it's the IN that's the problem. I'm well in my way in OUT.

I can go to art auctions now and I'm good. The only thing I'd like to add is a mirror for over my fireplace, once it's built-in. I know my artist friend wants a chandelier in my bedroom (I'm good with that) but I won't do til I find something I like and at a price I'm willing to pay. She also wants sconces here and there but I only want one pair, flanking the fireplace, which I won't be buying until I've met with contractor. So I've got a few things I'll be adding to the decor to my house but nothing else. I'm truly getting through this.

I'm so sorry he is nasty. I know the nastiness. I truly do. I am still hypersensitive to it. I think that spending decades pretending it wasn't happening has damaged me a bit. I would pretend it wasn't happening, then I was pretending it didn't happen, then I'd just hope he'd break my jaw so I could find away alone. I am so, so sorry for this situation Tillie. Obviously your situation is vastly different but I still think I can understand to some extent.

I am sorry you are missing your furry friends. I know how much they loved you, Tillie. And that kind of love is very nurturing and healing.

Sending you my own love.

Good Morning Everybody

Hi Subclinical

Hi CriticalMass

Hi Tatoulia

Hi Joan


Hoping today is a better day here for me.
He has been being extremely mean & nasty.
I have been extremely furious with his uncalled for behavior.
This all has made me very depressed and I miss my cats so much it hurts.

To answer your questions Tatoulia
I used to vacuum once every week, moving small furniture and vacuuming under it.
Then I'd just vacuum around things as needed if it needed it to keep it nice.
But with him here underfoot 24/7 my house cleaning routine has gone to heck.
I want to get back to every Monday morning house cleaning.

I have often wondered how a person with hoarding tendencies feels when going to museums where they can look but not own anything there.
Have a wonderful time enjoying all the art!

How are you feeling about returning your cute shoes?

And as always, it is such a pleasure to snuggle down into those wonderful sun dried linens.

My plan for today is to try my best not to throttle him.
Not for his sake but for mine.

Good morning! Yes it's afternoon here.

Doing one load of laundry, working, and making other decisions in my mind regarding reducing stuff. It will reduce chaos for me, and that's what I need. I have two more pair of shoes to send in their way.

More sunshine today!!!!! I cannot believe my eyes. I have a gallery talk tonight (free) and I'm excited. was hoping BF could join me but he cannot. This one is in the city so I'll walk down and enjoy it. The last one we did was put quite a distance and we had to drive. The paintings are all in the tens of thousands so there's no fear I'll get tempted!!!

10 PM and I'm just getting in from mentoring someone tonight. I'm exhausted and my feet are tired. So tired.

Would love a bowl of ice cream, SubC.

Tillie I hope you had a pleasant day. I'm thinking I should start vacuuming my bedroom on Saturdays when I change my sheets. How often do you vacuum?

Cm it is a difficult time for you and your friend. It's remarkable to be able to laugh and catch up and spend time together. I send you both much love.

Joan, we had sunshine today followed by some rain. I wore the tree skippers in but a lesser shoe home.

Here's some remarkable technology: I initiated the return for the Rothys, then today I printed the label, put it on the box and walked it over to the PO, and the lady scanned it. When I checked my email this afternoon, there was already the credit in my PayPal.

Amazing.

Tillie how was your night's sleep on the wonderful air-dried sheets??

SubC, yes, that book sounds very relatable for me! I meant to mention it. I shall do a search now before I forget. Thanks!

I ended up deciding to forego quilting this morning but maybe could go tomorrow. It had to do with needing to sleep in and be less rushed. But it's okay. Sometimes I just start feeling pressured and, though I don't want to start making too many excuses to avoid things (which as a procrastinator I can easily do), I think I have to be flexible in this unusual time.

Quick note to wish everyone a gentle day.

I made cookies and cream and chocolate. I don't make fruit ice cream because I don't like it. I like my fruit put up just plain frozen or in jam, or if it's peaches, canned with a little brandy.

I have some coffee mix ready to go this morning. Then I will have TEN! pints in my freezer! (Including vanilla)

It's really frozen custard, which is why I have to get it ready the night before and chill it overnight. Great way to put up extra eggs and milk!

Joan, i'm Glad to hear you have been sleepy at bedtime. It is so frustrating to try to get yourself to bed at a good time but not be able to sleep. Dh struggles with that.

CriticalMass, I am so very sorry about your friend. I know you are making this time easier for her, and I hope you can enjoy the time you have together.

I am thinking about your doll situation and wondering if you would benefit from this book. If you want my thoughts on it, let me know.

I am sore and stiff from cleaning stalls yesterday, but feeling fairly pleased with myself. I even managed to run a load of laundry in my "leftover" time yesterday evening. Normally I would start the laundry earlier and then when I got to the evening it would be too dark to work outside, or I would be too tired to be creative.

I also started sorting my spices into my bread pan, but quit because going to bed on time is part of my heath focus. So there are still spices on the counter, but when I pass them, I just say "no, no, no." Maybe dh will put them away. Or maybe I will get back to them tonight. Housework is never truly done, so I am experimenting with leaving it half finished instead of all the things I want to do. I think spices will survive a week of neglect more easily than plants. And maybe I won't have piles of half finished projects everywhere. Which would be better than not having spices out on my counter or laundry in my hamper.

Good Evening Everyone

Hi CriticalMass
So nice that you two chat just like you always have.
You are already grieving in your heart for her, seeing her this way.
Make sure to be kind and gentle to yourself.
Glad you will quilt tomorrow and be with people.
(((((BIG, BIG HUGS)))))

Hi Joan


Hi Tatoulia
You're welcome ;)
Subclinical said she makes vanilla ice cream one day when I asked her for a scoop of peach.

Today I vacuumed and washed dishes then did a little beading.
Refreshing cool breeze coming through the windows tonight making me sleepy.

CM, I am so sorry about your friend. Passings and transitions and separations are always difficult, emotional times. I generally do refrain from trying to sway the situation one way or another, because I feel it is the sick person who has to decide what is best for herself/himself.

Good for you for balancing your yearnings for dolls with everything else that is going on. Sometimes you need a fix.

Tonight I am sleepy. It has happened now a few nights in a row. I have worked for over 66 years to be sleepy at night. I still spend my whole day, every day, engineering my activity, diet, and supplements so that I can sleep at night.

I got myself a family doctor last month, for the family of me, myself, and I. They are all boggled over there that I am even alive. It made me feel good. One nurse wanted to know "What if someone else were taking care of you?" I told her, "No. I have to do it." They had not even heard of some of the stuff I take. My body is burned out on medications, so I cannot have almost any synthetic medication.

I have survived, among other worse things, the mental heath systems in three states over a period of about 35 years. Most everyone I knew is dead. The drugs alone will kill you.

Now I am planning to have a life. Slowly.

It's been a few days longer than I meant to go without an update. My friend is still in the hospital. The doctors and our other friends (the couple with the husband being a retired firefighter and paramedic) are pretty sure her chances aren't good for survival even long enough to, say, go to a nursing home or assisted living.

She has so many issues that it's hard to say what would be the thing to take her. Mr. Paramedic says probably one of the blood clots in her heart or lungs will dislodge and she'll have a stroke. She doesn't want to think about signing a Do Not Resuscitate order though, because she felt some years back that her siblings gave up on their mother too soon. It's all rather complicated.

I pray for either a miracle or a peaceful passing when the time comes. I try to set my subconscious to dealing with anticipatory grief, and keep my conscious focused on enjoying the time we have. When she is able to talk we talk about stuff just like we always have. One day at a time, which is really all any of us gets.

Joan, good to see you back. I know about the online shopping temptation. Ordered many dolls last year. Right now I'm not buying dolls at near the rate as before, but now and then. I get frustrated because I could really enjoy making clothes for them and posting photos in my Facebook doll groups - but since there's no time to do that, I tend to want to look for another doll to buy.

With my friend being in a state that is stable-for-the-moment, if uncertain, and this week being less busy (last week I was doing the evenings with the 96-year-old friend), I'm doing a balance thing. Today I didn't go up to the hospital - I had thought to do laundry but was tired. Didn't want to take a nap and wake groggy though. So I went to Walmart and bought a doll. And some supplies to clean other dolls.

Tomorrow I will go for awhile to quilt; the ladies know the situation - I'll give them a little update, and tell them I'll be rather hit and miss for awhile till my friends situation resolves one way or the other. In other words, if I show up, I'll be there. If not, I'll be back later.