Thank you for the encouragement! I especially took note of Lila's reminder that I know how to get things done.
Last night and today I've been gathering and packing things up. I have mom's china that the woman at work wants. I have mom's china that is going to habitat for humanity and I have other nice things for habitat as well including some artwork and some Christmas things. Last,y, I have a bag for goodwill. So today will be a big day. I have a car at noon and a friend is meeting me. I have out the stuff into hallway so that mentally I can start to feel the weight being lifted. I have enough time to look for more stuff.
It's raining on and off today. Hoping for more off than on. My friend needs to buy a desk so we will be looking at habitat for humanity for her. That's how this day unfolded, I told her that we could go there. She doesn't like city driving so I'm happy to just get a car for the day. They are really gouging on the price since it is Mother's Day weekend and it is graduation time in Boston, the hotels that someone at work stays in are normally 300+ a night and this week it was $1400 a night so he worked from home all week instead of coming into the office. He lives out of state.
Subclinical
Posted: 10 May 2025 - 04:56 AM
Yay progress!
Do you think you can donate one item for each new item you keep, plus one?
Remind yourself that this is a sign of the abundance in your life. You do not have to save things you don't like or aren't using "in case". You have relationships and connections that will carry you through.
The small town that I have to drive through to get to the cows is having their community wide yard/garage sales this morning. It will be tempting to lose the whole morning there on my way home. Maybe I will roll a die and give myself a number of stops. Or maybe I will resist and come home to deal with my barn instead? I don't really need anything right now except everyday shoes, and those should probably be new. And I can easily list ten things I don't have enough time for that are a higher priority than shopping. But I love the treasure hunt so much!
Lila
Posted: 09 May 2025 - 01:45 PM
Yay baby goats! That will be fun! (and work?)
Tatoulia, I'm sorry you feel overwhelmed with stuff. I know you know how to dig out quickly, as you have maintained a pretty good decluttery place from what I have read. You can do it!
I worked and volunteered at the shelter all week and I am tired. Today is my day off, and I am not going to the shelter today. There is a big adoption event this weekend, so I am going to volunteer for that instead.
I am trying to get into the decluttering, as my bedroom is like a thrift shop after an earthquake. Someone gave me a bag of NICE clothes and some of them fit me, so I am going to sort my clothes that I don't really like and donate them. Some are nearly new, so they will bless someone.
So far today I: took out 4 trashes and put in new bags pulled weeds outside and picked up branches loaded and ran the dishwasher hand washed some cookie sheets etc and put them away picked up all the toys and stuff all over the living room put a load of clothes in the wash
So, progress. DIL is overwhelmed with things so I end up needing to come home and clean and pick up after the grandkids, but I think she needs the help so I do it. Now that the basics are done (will still wipe counters, put dishes away, and wash towels), I can start working on the decluttering of my bedroom.
What are you all doing today?
Subclinical
Posted: 08 May 2025 - 04:42 AM
Good morning again!
The second goat had her babies - two boys and a girl. All healthy and strong. Two spotty, one (boy) black with white accents.
Nothing else to report - I am just continuing to try to keep up with my abundantly full life.
Today - cows, lesson plans, class prep, babysitting my boys (it's dsil's bday and he has afternoon plans) and my class.
Subclinical
Posted: 07 May 2025 - 05:21 AM
Good morning!
The gifts probably feel overwhelming because they do not have a place to go.
My life remains full. Fortunately right now it is full of good things.
Classes went well yesterday, I stayed late at school to fire the kiln, work on a project for my classes today, and see the jr grades musical. The kids were great and the costume people outdid themselves! I watched one of my little ones (I think she's the youngest 1st grader we have) do a cartwheel across the stage in a turtle costume and questioned my plan to retire before she graduates. I just want to watch them all grow up..
Arrived home, checked on my goats, and the one I've been waiting on for weeks basically looked at me like "oh there you are. It's about time!" And produced four little boys. They started out a little weak, so I gave them a mineral supplement. It's always amazing to watch that work. She went into labor around 8, and by 11 they were all mostly dry and on their feet and I had dipped their navels for infection control and seen them eat their first meal. This morning they are starting to have personalities. The one who couldn't even pick his head up after he was born (3) was eating aggressively when I went out. 1, who was also very floppy, is more chill. 2 is still the sturdiest and the least interested in me because he got his first meal on his own, and 4 is annoyed because one of his knees is still bending backwards (it will straighten itself out in a few days) and his brothers keep knocking him over.
Baby goats are ready to be separated from their mother overnight at about two weeks. I was planning to separate these guys during the day the first time and take them to my Wednesday class, then return them and start the night separation on the weekend. They were literally born on the last possible day for me to be able to do that! (So they will be the smallest they can be when they go. The kids will love it!)
#1 is spotted and has a bandit mask. #2 is white and fuzzy with twisty ears. He is the smallest and the sturdiest. #3 is white and sleek. He is the longest and has the most "dairy" character and best ears. #4 is a very pale sand color and also extra fuzzy. Momma seems to like them all equally and is doing a good job.
Tatoulia
Posted: 06 May 2025 - 10:18 PM
Good to hear the wedding was nice! I haven't been to a wedding in quite a while. I do enjoy a wedding.
I think some of the clutter is gifts that I got in London that haven't been distributed yet. And I have my sister's gifts from Switzerland as well. I'm packing up mom's china and that will make things easier.
I'm also not doing basic stuff. I received an email from someone about a check (for a decent amount) to make sure I received it and I just hadn't deposited it. Ditto I have a rent check from BF's place that is just hanging out. I'm not doing small stuff and I'm feeling really overwhelmed by it. This weekend all I wanted to do was sleep. I did rest most of Saturday before going to the museum and Sunday I had my friend's son's confirmation. And I'm behind on laundry because my WFH days are so busy with meetings.
So I'm just behind. Sister will be here Memorial Day weekend and so will get her many gifts then.
Today I took a bunch of clothes to fed extra to return them. I didn't even try them on til today, and I got them returned just at the 30 day mark. I don't feel depressed but I'm acting like I'm depressed.
Thank yoi for your support. I treasure these friendships.
Subclinical
Posted: 06 May 2025 - 05:06 AM
Good morning again!
The wedding was lovely! Everything about it was so very right for the bride, and my Dd (maid of honor) did a great job with the logistical bits that are the kind of thing the bride doesn't think about.
I got some things done in my pottery studio yesterday and feel pretty ready for today. The house is less bad. Dd flies home today. Dh is taking her to the airport after I leave for work.
Subclinical
Posted: 05 May 2025 - 04:59 AM
Good morning!
Hi Tatoulia! Have you been bringing more stuff in? I can't imagine that you are drowning. Funny how our perception changes though.
Good for you for getting your laundry done. And I'm glad you are enjoying your ymca membership.
I spent yesterday working in my studio and hanging out with my dd2. We sorted through her old Barbies and accessories. She found enough things she was ready to part with to get the little suitcase that holds the people into the bin that holds everything else. I'm not sure if that belongs in my tally yet, but it makes my basement slightly more organized.
In the studio I found a few more pots that could go and a bunch of packaging I need to take to school for end of year. I also wedged clay and I now have three empty clay buckets to take back to school. I'm not sure that is real progress, because there is a lot of clay at school waiting to be reworked. Currently my mixer is full of school clay that will be for next year. I need to work on getting the clay remixed and back to the kids earlier in the year next year. I have six buckets from 2023-2024 that I never processed! That is probably enough clay for a whole class.
Some gear punches I ordered for making steampunk pottery (my new interest) showed up in the mail yesterday. I'm going to short the tally thread out later..
Today, more pottery, more homecaring, more time with dd2, and a wedding.
Tatoulia
Posted: 04 May 2025 - 08:23 PM
I'm glad you are getting to hug your daughter today, SubC! Good for you to do some weeding, CM. That is hard work! Lila! Good for you to find some vacation time!
My place is falling into a pit. It is driving me completely crazy. I honestly cannot keep up. I still have the cleaners once a week so it is clean but I feel like I am drowning in stuff. Next Saturday, I am getting a car and I'm donating my mother's china. That will free up my brain. I am also starting a bag of clothes.
I am 100% enjoying my YMCA membership. It's been amazing for me.
I feel very discombobulated and like I'm getting zero accomplished. I am even behind on laundry, which, as you know, isn't like me. I'm doing a few loads tonight.
Went to Art In Bloom at the Museum of Fine Arts last night. Lovely time. Today my friend's son had his confirmation and that was a lovely way to spend my day. My friend was diagnosed with breast cancer a few weeks ago and she's doing great. Got back good results following her surgery and she'll start radiation soon. No chemo.
Okay I'll go swap out my laundry. I'm so mad at myself for living like a pig.
Subclinical
Posted: 03 May 2025 - 05:44 AM
Good morning!
Up early but moving slowly.
Lila, I'm glad you got a vacation. It sounds like you came back with more energy. And I think the volunteering sounds like a good way to spend time with pets for a while without getting over committed.
My barn is really overwhelming right now. It won't stop raining, so the low side of the barn is flooded - there is about an inch of water in half of the main chicken pen. Meanwhile, the ducks have outgrown their pen, and I've tried five different ways to give them water. No matter what I do, they splash it all out, make a muddy mess, and "run out" before I get home from school.
They don't have to visit my class again, so I'm tempted to turn them loose to free range, but I'm pretty sure they will get eaten. Ideally I would get the mobile pen set up for the large chicken flock and move the ducks into the flooded area! But it won't stop raining.
I'm officially on baby goat watch - some time in the next two weeks. Hopefully sooner rather than later.
Yesterday evening it was pouring rain and I distracted myself by shopping online for pottery toys. I've set aside a portion of the money from my spring sale to buy new tools and materials for some work I want to make. I need to sit down and do an accounting though, because I might be done.
My brain is racing ahead on all the things I want to do, but my body is saying "no thank you. More coffee please."
I get to hug my "baby" this afternoon.
Lila
Posted: 02 May 2025 - 01:03 PM
hello!
Thank you for my evaluation, SubC! It made me smile, and I like how you see evaluations. I will think about that when I am writing up my evals on others in my work and volunteering.
I have only scanned the posts and not read them yet. But I hope to catch up later today. I was on vacation, I don't think I even mentioned I was leaving, because I was so overwhelmed. I am back, and doing pretty well. I go volunteer at the animal shelter several days a week to take my mind off my sadnesses and to get some good exercise. I am now walking about 7k steps a day, but have some days with 8k - 11k steps. This is good, as last year when I worse my pedometer for months, I was only walking 2k a day most days and on days I pushed myself, 4k or so... occasionally 5k.
Today I: took out 3 trashes to the bins unloaded, loaded, and ran the dishwasher used lysol wipes all over the place put the remaining bin to the road for pickup pulled weeds in the front, twice. It is bad so it is taking me some time to get it done. I can go out again in the cool evening and tomorrow morning. Brought in and put away my grocery order
I plan to pay some bills, do some emails and such, go volunteer for 2 hours, and eat yummy food today.
Will I declutter? That remains to be seen! I hope to do a bit of that as I wander around the house later, and more of it tomorrow, as my bedroom is in dire need of decluttering, and I am getting less and less attached to things as time goes on.
Subclinical
Posted: 02 May 2025 - 04:55 AM
Hi CM,
Good to see you!
I'm glad you are sticking with pickleball.
On your weeds - my dad always says "God is an amazing gardener, but we often disagree on what to grow."
For my part, I have decided that dandelions look lovely mixed in with the irises. Did you know hummingbirds use dandelion fuzz to line their nests?
I did get called to babysit, and had a lovely time with my grandsons. I also spent a good chunk of my morning cleaning up my house with only a little "stollen" for pottery work and sorting through the studio mess (cookie cutters in tally thread) the house is just generally messy now. Except the counter of doom. The counter of doom is a wreck.
School today and stopping by the studio to finish prepping some pots for class next week. Also need to fire the kiln again (maybe)
Tomorrow my Dd2 flies in from CO, but Dh is picking her up at the airport, so I have a lot of the day to do stuff at home.
CriticalMass
Posted: 02 May 2025 - 01:16 AM
Very busy here too, many things happening simultaneously. Getting closer to doing some of the bigger decluttering and reorganizing projects yet needing to have a game plan so that they don't "fluff" things worse in my space or the shared space, as there are areas in both needing dealt with. Time is at a premium, and so is space (very little staging and sorting room).
Praying for the conclave, trying not to do too much armchair quarterbacking about it, though some of the cartoons and memes are amusing, for example if Cardinal Pizzaballa is chosen, some people want to know if he will address the issue of pineapple on pizza. Lol!
Roommate and I both feel the time pressure, and when I haven't felt ready to tackle big decluttering I have gone outside and pulled weeds in the yard and garden. Filled 7 big bags with plenty more to go. This frees up roommate to do her planting, and should pay off in reclaimed time for both of us soon. And it's good exercise and good to be out in the sun.
Continuing to play pickleball, have high hopes for it being good stress relief and a cognitive boost. Nice people at the senior center, relaxed, no pressure. They offer competitive play at a different time, which would be interesting to watch but I will stick with casual play for myself.
Have learned that the last relative of my parents' generation, an aunt, is almost at the end of her time on Earth. My cousins and I will be 100% "the old folks." I'm among the younger ones on either side. Some of the older cousins have already passed too. Some remaining are already great grandparents themselves. Hard to wrap my mind around. Time moves swiftly. Even just the fact that it's May already and it seems not that long ago the year was just getting started.
I better wind down for the night...
Subclinical
Posted: 01 May 2025 - 05:06 AM
White rabbits!
Good morning! Happy May! It's very quiet here.
3.5 weeks left in the school year. The art show went well last night in spite of two minor disasters caused by me and in one case fixed by me by staying an hour and a half after school with glue, and in the other case fixed by Dh who left work for the afternoon to drive all the way in and bring me all the labels I had left at home. Yesterday I didn't fire any kilns for the first time in 8 days.
Today is my "day off" - I leave around 4 for class. But I may get called to babysit the boys if it doesn't rain (it's supposed to) because their dad volunteered to help with something at a park. I'm torn between trying to work in the garden (it may be too wet), making pottery (I need more work for my class), and cleaning my house (don't want to, but the cleaning fairies won't be coming)
How is everybody?
Subclinical
Posted: 27 April 2025 - 07:25 AM
So, as I posted in the tally, the sale went well yesterday. I actually unloaded my car and unpacked my inventory in an orderly fashion last night!
I am now feeling very inspired to work in my studio, but I have Bean's family and 25 of their friends coming today for a belated egg hunt, live bunny photos, visits with ducks and chicks, and general mayhem. Tomorrow is a regular Bean day, and then I teach, so it will be Thursday before I can really get back out - and I promised to go watch the boys in the afternoon on Thursday.
Friday I teach, Saturday dd2 will be here for the weekend, boys on Monday, wedding Monday night.. cow milking. I shall have to steal moments and try to hold on to my motivation. So far this morning I have achieved yoga, chores, and a healthy breakfast.
I hope the day is going well for all of you!
Subclinical
Posted: 26 April 2025 - 05:14 AM
I have my spring sale today.
I got the booth all set up last night. (Except for one last thing I'm taking today that wasn't waxed yet - some of the alternative firing pieces get a wax seal/gloss)
The person in charge upgraded my space again, which was a very pleasant surprise. I struggle with self-awareness and realistic assessment, so I am taking this as a sign that she likes me and that my sales must be fairly good relative to the average, because she could have given the extra display space to anyone and her job at the studio includes marketing. Also, I think the level of my work is improving. And my daughter stopped by with Bean right after I finished set up and didn't move a single thing on my display! (She has a good eye and always comes and critiques and rearranges in ways that help me - "see, I told you to put that up there." "But it hasn't sold." "But how many people have walked over, picked it up, and bought something else? - high end top and center mom." "Don't clump all the color together, spread it out so it moves the eye." "Think garden, not grocery store.")
And another potter told me that someone came to the studio yesterday and asked if I would be there this year!
I'm hoping we all have a good sale. The way things are in the economy right now, I'm a little nervous. If I go home with one empty box it will be good! (I took six) but I have a variety of goals for the sale and hopefully will reach a couple.
Besides getting ready for the sale, I haven't posted because my kiln got fixed! So far I have loaded and fired two loads. I'll stop on my way home from the sale to unload and fire a third. I'm working really hard to get the kids' stuff through.
House is a mess. Garden is behind. I'm just trying to get through the next four weeks focused on: People - my boys, a friend's wedding, milking her cow, end of year events at school Farm - garden, baby goats coming, keeping the new poultry healthy and safe My job - winding down the last four weeks of classes on a high note (and making sure the kids help with clean up so I don't have a ton of stuff to do for the room!)
Big projects and house stuff can wait.
Tatoulia
Posted: 25 April 2025 - 11:05 PM
Your evaluations made me smile! Cm I'd also like to express my condolences.
I'm here. Just very busy at work. I've been going to the gym and I feel better both mentally and physically. I need to get a bag of things to the textile recycling drop off. Odd bits and bobs like some pj tops where I no longer have the bottoms. I might be able to really apply myself and find something to take to the cat shelter. I just need to continue to get rid of stuff. Going to go through my books again.
Subclinical
Posted: 23 April 2025 - 05:27 AM
Good morning!
I had my end of the year review yesterday (there are four more weeks of school, but they have to schedule us all in during lunch and breaks) it was good (it's always good, I don't stress about it any more) and I finally managed to adequately communicate my struggles with evaluations. My administrator told me that because I am an enrichment class, I don't have to track and give feedback on all of the skills covered for each child, just list the class content and then add a few general comments about the child's work, participation, and growth. I don't even have to note if the child was present for a particular lesson. This is going to make it so much easier!
Example, if I was doing evaluations for this site: (List of skills we are using) Followed by: "Lila has made huge progress on reducing her boxes this year. I admire the way she overcomes challenges to work on her goals even when circumstances make them difficult. She is always supportive and caring in her interactions with others and gives helpful, positive feedback. I'm happy to have her in our group."
Not "Lila emptied x number of boxes this year. She wasn't here for clean out the van week, but her car doesn't seem to be a problem. Her main focus has been on room a, She has made good progress on reducing categories x,y, and z. Her items out count is really impressive, and she was able to let go of the following difficult items. I would like to see her be less hard on herself."
I always include the stuff in the first paragraph, but it's the second one that takes forever and makes me struggle. It also requires record keeping for each project - now I will just have to make a quick note on any project that stands out for a particular child ("Lila's tally thread is a great addition to our site""CM's rabbit updates always make me smile""Tatoulia sets a great example by maintaining her space.")
Anyway, I hope you all don't mind your "evaluations" Today I need to glaze work for my sale and take the chicks to school. I am giving my classes a "work day" to catch up on projects and just reviewing and supporting because we have a lot of unfinished items and I have a teacher meeting at lunch. (They will feed me and the presentation sounds interesting)
CriticalMass
Posted: 21 April 2025 - 09:11 PM
Awww, thank you SubC for thinking about me. It was of course not completely unexpected given his age and complex health problems. There was one point while he was still hospitalized when the doctors had really thought it might be the end, and then God gave him that little bit of extra time. He got to meet the King and Queen, VP Vance, and some others, and he got to put in the appearance at the Easter Mass and take a short ride around St. Peter's. In retrospect it seems like a closure for him.
I had been up late doing a fun annual virtual Easter egg hunt thing online on one of my rabbit sites. But I didn't flip over to news before going to sleep so I didn't know until my roommate asked me this morning if I'd heard about the Pope. I was pretty sure I knew what she meant then I looked.
I think he is at peace and it does seem that he was loved by many. It'll be a busy time as the Vatican observes the lying in state, funeral, and so on, and then the conclave. I'll probably be watching a lot of TV or YouTube.
Thanks again for caring <3
Subclinical
Posted: 21 April 2025 - 04:51 AM
CM, I am sorry about the Pope. I am not Catholic, but I th8nk he was a good man, and I know this will unsettle one of your pillars of steadiness.
CriticalMass
Posted: 20 April 2025 - 02:17 PM
HAPPY
EASTER
Subclinical
Posted: 20 April 2025 - 07:00 AM
Hello! Good morning! Happy Easter!
I am starting very late this morning. I had the boys yesterday instead of tomorrow because their parents were deep cleaning the house in anticipation of Easter celebrations with dsil's family. Then we went into the city for a concert. The violin soloist was amazing! We got home very late.
Buddy is very interested in music - sounds, tones, rhythm.. We have some percussion instruments he has been having a really good time with. One of them is a lollipop drum that he really likes but struggles to manage because it is so big. Yesterday I decided to order the small sized lollipop drum and a set of "boomwhackers" tubes that play different notes when you hit them on things - we used them when I taught preschool. When they come I have committed to cleaning out the toy instrument bin. We have a lot of things that are not that great, so hopefully this will turn into a net out.
I forgot my dumpster pot the last two times I went to the pottery studio. So when I go to set up on Friday, I have to take 3?
Anyway, today and tomorrow are going to be all about planting in my garden and preparing for my show next weekend. I have put a halt on big projects until school is out, because between now and the end of May I have 5 weeks of class to teach, my show, a big after-Easter egg hunt party here for my boys and their friends, many heavy firing days once the kiln is (hopefully soon!) fixed, 2 goats kidding, a wedding to attend, a bunch of days (fortunately not in a row- there is another milker) milking cows for the bride while she is on her honeymoon, a garden to plant, evaluations to write, and probably something I forgot.
CriticalMass
Posted: 16 April 2025 - 06:22 AM
Thought I would check in, it's been awhile. Getting back to routine after roommate's surgery. It added to my routine with a few things like going along on the dog walks to hold the leash and also lifting things for her various times of the day when needed, like pet stuff. Good news on her one bunny who had been having crazy sneezing fits for awhile, he would get better then worse. He had a vet appointment Thursday and the craziest thing, a couple of days before it he stopped sneezing and has been his normal self. It's like a car that stops making the funny noise when you take it to the mechanic. Sometimes we read they can get a tiny bit of hay or dust stuck in their nose and then it finally gets unstuck; that may be what happened. Whatever it is, we are thankful he is better.
Went to the plant nurseries Saturday which was fun. I only bought one plant but my roommate and other friend bought quite a few. It is a bit tricky with this drought to decide what to get or not. Many people are putting off starting new trees and shrubs because they won't be allowed to water them enough. We may get rain over Easter weekend, and cooler temperatures along with it. I wish it could hold off a couple days because I love a bright sunny day for Easter, the symbolism, but Kansas gonna Kansas. We need rain desperately. Don't need Dust Bowl 2.0 almost a century after the first one.
Anyway, mainly we are attempting to reestablish routines or establish them if they weren't there before (for me especially, routines are hard). I know roommate is eager to start her going through stuff again though gardening will cut into it. I will have a clearer head to do more with mine. Lent flew by too fast and I can't believe it's Holy Week. I will be occupied with church more until early next week. After that, I hope to establish more of a schedule and plans and carry them out. Still doing the pickleball thing which I'm hoping the exercise will continue to help me be more energetic and more mentally sharp and focused.
In case I don't get back here before, Happy Easter.
Tatoulia
Posted: 15 April 2025 - 04:23 PM
Hi everyone! I'm going to finish up work and head to the Y. Going to force myself back on track.
Subclinical
Posted: 13 April 2025 - 06:51 PM
Good evening,
Lila, I don't know. Where have things been the longest?
Probably the garage would be a good idea. Can you separate your bins from other people's bins as you go?
My sister in law has been here (except mostly not here - she was at her son's band competition) for five days. She left this morning. She has gone straight to Dh parents house because his mom had surgery.
I posted about discarding pots in the tally thread.
I put my toothbrushes away. I don't think I told you that I bought a 4 year supply of toothbrushes. I had to - I really like these toothbrushes (they are 100% plant based, so you can just toss them in the woodstove when you have run out of other uses) and that put them at the cheapest price each. They take up two average paperback books worth of space in their box.
Anyway, I cleaned out some expired meds and empty boxes to fit them in my bathroom drawer. I'm not counting in or out on that job. I continue slowly using up lotion.
And clay - I worked in the studio and started tomato seeds (very late) today.
Continuing to try to keep up with school and ge5 ready for my sale. I have my boys tomorrow.
Tatoulia
Posted: 13 April 2025 - 06:03 PM
Lila, I'm glad you are feeling better.
Put on some music and pick up a box. You've been making GREAT progress and you'll be looking at the stuff with different eyes. Something that you could never get rid of six weeks ago might be top of your list to say goodbye to now. Plus, if you are like me, there is stuff that I say I've been through but maybe half the pile I said, I can't cope and left it untouched. You may be more disciplined than me, but I do notice that I cannot deal with certain stuff, and then I don't.
I promise you that you've been building up your muscles for letting things go, and as such, you might find that you have the strength to get rid of stuff now. Our dear friend Tillie used to talk about how it's peeling the layers of the onion. You've peeled the first layer, now go to the second. I've lived this, all the way to the near end of the onion. It's an amazing phenomenon as you become more aware of how little you really need at the end of the day.
Let me know if this helps.
Grey rainy weekend here but I made it to the gym!
Oh Lila, to answer your question, a week or so ago it wasn't so much of a lecture as a reading. David Sedaris was at Symphony Hall. This week I'll be seeing Ken Burns regarding the American Revolutionand the following week I'm supposed to see Andrew Lloyd Webber for a speech but my good friend is having mastectomy that day and I am on duty for her children and I'm not sure if I'll be back in the city by 8PM. The Andrew Lloyd Webber presentation is the last evening of the Boston Speakers Series, to which I've subscribed since its inception. Maybe 10 years, maybe longer.
Lila
Posted: 13 April 2025 - 04:31 PM
Good advice, Tatoulia. Also, I am feeling much better finally.
I am, however, really dragging my feet on the sorting today because now it "feels" like I have sorted "everything" multiple times. Obviously not, since there are still things I have not found. But I walk into any room or garage and think, "I already looked at everything here!"
So, how to get motivated? I think I have not been thorough enough. I know there are bins in the garage I passed over because they are full of other junk. Part of me wants to start in one corner ad go through every single box/bin/drawer piece by piece. But another part of me is like omg that will take forever.
So I don't start.
My garage is so full of everyone else's bins AND mine and theirs are stacked to the ceiling to it is difficult to get one out. Honestly I just don't want to deal with it. It was more motivating when it was boxes I have not looked in for years.
So please pass me any advice on how to get motivated and where to even begin (again).
Tatoulia
Posted: 12 April 2025 - 10:23 AM
SubC! I am so proud of you for not going to help with your daughter's clean out! That would have caused you anxiety and put you in a position of making decisions on other people's stuff! Congratulations!
Sorry you have been sick, Lila. Good work on making decisions. See if you can drop the modem to an electronic recycling place. No one will want it at a donation center. Modems change so quickly and there is no value beyond recycling. I don't know where you live but even the internet provider or a big box store may let you drop it off. I save my electronics for our hazardous waste days in Boston. Our next one is in May so I have to look alive. They also take clean textiles and shredding and other stuff.
Hope your roommate's surgery went well, CM.
Lila
Posted: 11 April 2025 - 05:47 PM
Celebrate the weight loss, SubC, even as a side effect! Although I do hope you feel better soon.
I looked around in the garage, no luck finding a box with the letter. But I found an old modem to donate.
I sorted some bedroom drawers, threw some things away, donated a pair of reading glasses in a case.
Little by little...
Subclinical
Posted: 11 April 2025 - 04:50 AM
Good morning!
CM, I'm glad things are going well there.
Lila, I really hope you find your letter. You are doing a very good job with the things you find looking for it.
My daughter has the use of a company truck and dumpster this weekend and they are cleaning out their basement and garage. She assured me that they are donating anything useful and invited me to join the project by bring our truck down loaded with dumpster items and watching the boys while they work, but I really want to focus on making work for my sale this weekend. Anything I want to sell has to be dry and fired by the end of next week.
I forgot to take my dumpster pot to class last night. I think I am going to go by after school today, so maybe I will take two.
Right now the only part of my life where I am successfully reducing anything is my weight. That is going ok because I have a bad cold and things don't taste good plus my stomach is unsettled from drainage. Less an accomplishment and more of a side effect.
Lila
Posted: 10 April 2025 - 06:48 PM
I worked today and also volunteered at the shelter. I came home and looked through drawers for the letter. I found a big stack of cards with baby footprints and handprints on them of Teen. I thought, no one needs a dozen sets of prints from every month of babyhood. So I picked out the best ones and threw the rest away, along with a lot of random papers I don't need.
No letter, though.
Lila
Posted: 09 April 2025 - 01:34 PM
hi friends,
I went to work this morning but had to come home because I was too sick. I could not stop coughing, even with medicine. So I am home, working, and feeling pretty out of it. I am supposed to have a meeting tonight and work tomorrow. So maybe I will feel better in a bit.
I also will look for the lost letter some more.
CriticalMass
Posted: 07 April 2025 - 12:51 PM
Hey, possible Life Pro Tip - I think I found a hack for the Captchas on this site if you're using a PC browser to post. Before, they kept putting up more new pictures to click on and it was frustrating. Then for some reason I thought to hold down CTRL while clicking, and that seems to make it stop doing that and let you click the 3 or 4 you see and then be able to be done. Just thought I should share that in case anyone else was having trouble. It doesn't do it on a touchscreen device; this was using the mouse or touchpad of my laptop. OK!
CriticalMass
Posted: 07 April 2025 - 12:48 PM
I know there's been a lot going on for everybody. SubC, I hope you haven't been in any flooding danger. Tatoulia, glad you enjoyed your trip. And Lila, it does sound like there's a lot of shaking up going on but sometimes when that happens good can ultimately come out of it. Believe me, I know.
Roommate is getting ready for 2nd eye surgery tomorrow. She messed up her back stepping off the porch the other day and we're hoping the sedation for surgery might also relax some of her back muscles.
I play pickleball today, which should be good for reducing stress and such. We've had a lot of disruption of schedule and extra stress with roommate's back troubles. I will be careful not to injure myself!
The bunnies seem to be doing well, even the one that was acting sick seems better. Possibly the rain we finally got this past week washed some allergens out of the air. He sees the vet anyway on Thursday just to be on the safe side. My elderly bunny is now 12 years 7 months and pretty chipper - we started giving him supplemental feedings and that has perked him up.
The rain wasn't enough to break the drought, that will take a long time. But we're grateful for it. A couple of days it got cold, windy, and not very pleasant out. This week is a milder pattern and will be easier to work on projects in, especially when I need to go outdoors to shake dusty things, rinse things off, carry donations out, etc.
Subclinical
Posted: 06 April 2025 - 07:30 PM
Tatoulia, I am glad you had a good vacation!
Lila, I'm glad you were able to clear out papers, but I hope you find the letter!
Hang in there, change is hard! Try to find a few small things you can do when you feel paralyzed or instead of/before watching tv. They don't have to be "productive" things, just things that might shift your energy - drink some water, dust one item, pick up a book you haven't touched in a while and think about wether you might want to read it again, put on a song you like, look outside through three different windows in your house.. Anything that will move your body and shift your brain.
I slept really late today and then rushed off for a brunch at the pottery studio as soon as I rushed through my chores. I worked in the studio for a while and then Dd picked me up and we went thrifting. I'm not sure how going to count my ins, but I will tell you what I got - paper sorting trays, trays for supplies in my home pottery studio, two toys with parts - one for each in town grandson to stay at my house, a set of alphabet blocks with figures in them, a book, and a shirt.
The blocks were a set I own from when I was little and have always liked, but three of the figures were lost. The set I bought was missing a block and many figures, but had my three missing ones. So now I have a complete set of blocks and figures, but I have to decide what to do with the extras.
Obviously redonating is an option, but they are only good to someone who needs to fill in a set! Will they go in a dumpster? They are plastic, should I recycle them? What if I get rid of them and then I lose a figure or break a block.. Arg!
Lila
Posted: 06 April 2025 - 03:52 PM
hi Tatoulia. You are doing some good maintenance there. I'm curious, what is the lecture about? I have not found the letter yet, but moved a lot of bins around looking. I am taking a rest and then going back in the garage to look and to try and get a few items into the Daily Tally by donating.
I am trying to sort out in my head what my life is about now. Sounds weird but it's almost like a mid-life crisis/empty nest syndrome/dark night of the soul all in one. I have taken care of people and animals for almost 40 years without any break. Now I feel confused and lost. But I am looking for good things in it. I am getting more decision paralysis where I sit for long periods unable to do anything. Or watching tv to distract myself. I'm working it out, doing better day by day. Learning a new way.
Tatoulia
Posted: 06 April 2025 - 02:56 PM
I hope you find the letter, Lila!
Today I've run a few errands. No laundry because someone has the machine tied up. Tomorrow. I still have quite a bit of catching up laundry. Would love to be able to do it today but I have dinner with a friend tonight then a lecture. So maybe tomorrow.
I'm gathering the recycling to take out. Just started the dish washer (early for me, I like to run in the vending) and I've wiped down the kitchen counters. I'll go freshen up the bathroom, which would be easier to do if I could run a load of towels but alas it is too late. I'll just put some clean towels out in case my friend wants to use the facilities between dinner and our lecture.
So I'll challenge myself for the next hour.
Lila
Posted: 05 April 2025 - 11:51 AM
Thank you friends. I appreciate you and the encouragement.
The Daily Tally also keeps me motivated. I think, "what can I get rid of so I can add to the Tally?" It helps me a lot. I am more than halfway to my goal for 2025 already. However it is going to be slim pickin's once I get through the garage stuff again. Unless I have another epiphany about my bedroom.
There is a letter I need to find from about 20 years ago. It has the address and contact info for some relatives that my cousin and I would like to visit. They have a very common name and we don't remember where exactly they are. I know I saved the letter and it had photos in it.
Yesterday searching for the letter, I sorted a big tote full of papers. It was not there, but I culled about half the papers into the trash, and found some things I need, so that's good.
Today I will sort the other totes in there (the office/sorting room) and look in my bedroom as well for the letter.
Tatoulia
Posted: 05 April 2025 - 10:34 AM
Hello everyone! I have missed you.
Lila, you are an important connection for all of us! What a sad time for you. I feel sad on your behalf. I think about how hard it is to let our own stuff go, and here you are, going through the pain of letting teen's stuff go and losing teen all over again. I'm sorry you are going through this.
Subc and CM! Good to hear from you both!
I'm back from my short vacation. Had a lovely time and the weather was sunny and cool. Really perfect. Did a lot of walking. Fabulous.
I'm up early for me today. I've had two cups of coffee and my groceries have been delivered so I'll head out for a walk now. I have some things to return.
Subclinical
Posted: 04 April 2025 - 02:54 PM
I would definitely say the depression is situational! Hopefully the upcoming visit and the clearing out and the sunlight will help!
Good for you revisiting bins and finding more things to let go! this is why we set aside the "maybes" and keep moving - so we don't get bogged down. Once we run out of "goes" we can come back around.
We need you too!
Ok, I've survived the school week - off to buy some food and enjoy the weekend. Maybe I'll stop by the library, I have two books to return...
Lila
Posted: 04 April 2025 - 12:18 PM
CM, yes, prayed for you, and I hope you have a good day today. SubC, I need to start thinking forward. I look forward to the trip to go see my oldest son and his children. I have not seen them in almost 2 years, and I am leaving later this month. Surely that is something I can feel positive about.
I am happy for you not saving the broken pot "for something else." That is a victory.
I need to do better about taking care of myself, too.
I am probably clinically depressed at this point, but if my past experiences are true, it is "situational" depression from the grief. I have tried in the past to get a counselor but they have mostly felt like a waste of time. I probably would benefit more just from being with people who care about me. Or making better connections with family.
I have even thought about quitting my job, but I think that would be a rash mistake, not to mention I do need an income. Hopefully they will ride this out with me. I am not doing as much or as well as I was when they hired me.
I am still sick so will attempt to work in the downstairs "office" space that used to be ex's den, before that it was my office, now it is really just a staging area, but a very nice one with lots of natural sunlight and a twin bed to sit on. I have some papers in there I need to find, and I think I could get rid of some things as well.
When I went in the garage the other day, I saw clear totes of things I kept last time I sorted in there with TotsDad (last year) and I was astounded at the things I thought I needed to keep. I bet if I take a box in the garage, I could fill it up pretty quickly and make room for more "keep" items to get moved out there.
I need encouragement and you all are my only connection at this point so thank you for reading.
Subclinical
Posted: 04 April 2025 - 04:39 AM
Good morning.
CM, I hope things keep easing up for you.
Lila, I am so sorry you are so sad. I know that sometimes in our lives we just have to sit with that, but I want you to have things to look forward to!
Today is going to be a long day. I woke up at 3:30 needing to use the bathroom after less than 5 hours of sleep and spent the next hour and a half lying in bed trying to get my "list" out of my head and go back to sleep. I know I didn't drift off because I heard all the clock chimes downstairs. Then when I got up, I hadn't fixed the clock on the coffee maker from the power outage, so the coffee wasn't made yet. I have a headache already and of course now that I'm up, I'm too sleepy to do any of the things on my list.
One good thing I did last night at class - the bottom blew off of one of my pots during firing (it's raku. It happens. We had a lot of stuff break last night. Mostly everybody shrugs and says "the kiln must have been off") anyway, my classmates were all making suggestions about ways the pot could be salvaged/repurposed because the surface came out really nice. But, I threw it in the dumpster! (This does not count as one of the"100 pots out", because it never came home)
Off to look over my lesson plans and make a really clear list of my day so I don't forget something because I'm tired. And drink more coffee..
CriticalMass
Posted: 03 April 2025 - 04:39 PM
Lila, sometimes our immune systems hold out while we're still under the gun, then they crash and crash hard.
If you prayed for me, thank you very much; I'm a little less stressed now. Was able to get a couple of the things done so they can be deleted from my overly full mental buffer.
I was actually going to go play pickleball at a different senior center branch - and that wouldn't have been blowing off the things I needed to do, because that mid-level cardio helps my ADHD and I will actually be more efficient and my short term working memory will improve. However, it seemed like the Lord had other plans - I was delayed first by a funeral procession, then by what appeared to be half the city fleet of various construction and utility trucks right where I needed to go.
So I turned around and ate my already delayed lunch in the park and came back home. I think I needed the little break. It was after returning that I got a couple of nagging computer things done.
I hope you get to feeling better real soon!
Lila
Posted: 03 April 2025 - 02:20 PM
SubC, thank you for the encouragement and suggestions. I think I am making some breakthroughs emotionally, but it is painful.
CM I hope things settle down for you soon. It sounds like an awful lot.
I am sick, can't breathe at all through my nose, headache etc. Why is it every time I have a slow week where I would have time to do things I want to do, I end up sick? I am also grieving still, my dog, my child being an addict etc. I am not sure where my life is going to end up. I cannot foresee anything anymore and don't know if anything would give me life again.
But I plug along.
Last night I had TotsDad take the one medium and one very large box of donations to my car, and I took a bag of "toss" items to the trash can outside. I will be going to pick up a prescription this afternoon and will drop off the donations. This is a big part of everything, since it prevents me from going diving into the donation box and taking things back out. I did go in yesterday and took out a quilt, but I also made myself add something else I was going to keep to the box. Fair, right?
The Daily Tally is coming along very well. I am going to vacuum in the little bedroom and then start putting things away. I don't think there is much left in there to donate, but I will take a look.
I don't think I have ever been this sad in my life. I watched my mother die 20+ years ago, my father died before that, and all my grandparents, I lost 2 babies in pregnancy, my best friend died a few years ago, but all of that was not as sad as I feel now.
CriticalMass
Posted: 03 April 2025 - 12:14 PM
This is really going to be brief - not just like when I say that and then it ends up long.
It feels like the spring is spinning out of control - it was sort of crazy already, but it has accelerated.
I've been praying as I'm able, and I'm sure that is the only thing that keeps me from descending into madness from the stress. I would appreciate prayers for me and roommate.
There are just TOO. MANY. DETAILS. Things big and small needing to be done. Interruptions. Difficulty coordinating it all. Not enough hours in the day. For both me and roommate. Pet health issues. Her dog killed a newborn bunny in the yard late one night. Various dramas like that just when we try to wind down, then we each end up getting to bed way too late and not getting enough sleep.
Not enough room in the house with all the clutter but hardly any time and energy and clearheadedness to deal with the stupid clutter.
We had a little rain. That is a blessing. We may get more. It will help.
Really not seeking advice, just ranting and asking for prayers. I feel like I've got a gallon or two of cortisol flowing through my veins from the stress. Surely it will get better, but right now I'm pretty frazzled.
Subclinical
Posted: 03 April 2025 - 05:53 AM
Hi Lila, I'm here, I'm just tired.
The next 7.5 weeks are going to be a bit of a marathon for me. With my pottery sale, the garden, the end of the school year, and some extra family things. I'm trying to keep my focus on the important things and let the rest slide for now.
Amazing job emptying the closet!
I think packing up some of the things for tot is a good compromise. You can always decide later if you want to come back and add some of them to the sleepover room.
Babies only get a bottom sheet now - all the other crib bedding is considered unsafe. I use the old crib blankets as light wraps during the day, or floor mats depending on weight.
If the vhs tape is still around, grab your phone, take a photo, and let it go. The photo will still trigger the memory. You can decide if you need the photo later.
Lila
Posted: 02 April 2025 - 03:34 PM
hmm, where is everybody?
I am working on the little bedroom/storage room. The closet was FULL of things that were Teen's as a little girl. Things she loved, most in excellent/new condition. I had my son text her photos of the things and she doesn't want any of it.
I am struggling with donating all this stuff. It feels like getting rid of her childhood. I wonder if she will want it "later" but I have to let that go.
I think my strategy will be to choose some of the nice, newish items for my granddaughters. There are some really great stuffed animals, dolls, decorative pillows and blankets. Part of my wants it all gone, no reminders. Part of me wants to save it for the "sleepover" bedroom for my grandkids in my new home someday. But do I want those memories in my new home? If I give them now, the babies will ruin things - but I would like Tot, who is now 6, to have them when she has her own room. Ugh.
How about if I donate at least half, and put the things for Tot into a tote in the garage? Will leave it here for her when I move? Is that a good compromise?
All of this hurts, but it is a GREAT accomplishment that I have pulled out all of Teens things from that closet. I've been avoiding it for years.
Lila
Posted: 30 March 2025 - 02:36 PM
I am not sure why, but I even when I feel ready and confident, I get into the actual stuff and start having anxiety and freezing.
I went into the little bedroom/storage area with a donation box. I started moving things to the outside edges of the room and away from the closet. I started to sort. I wanted to keep almost everything. It got harder and harder, I moved from one tote/box to the next, then opened the closet and saw it packed full, looked at several things and got a wave of anxiety and had to leave the room and take a break.
I think each item has a familiarity or an attachment. I did manage to find 5 things to go into the donate box (although only 1 was easy, a duplicate). But each item has memories, people, feelings attached to it.
For example, the vhs tape my little boy begged to watch all the time, his favorite movie. When I look at it, I can hear his little voice asking for it.
I don't want to take a picture of it, that seems silly. He won't want it. I don't even really want it. But I saved it. The crib bedding from when Teen was a baby. I should have put it in the darned crib for my granddaughter! Maybe I will. I always think about selling it, which is kind of ridiculous.
I guess that is why I get anxious. Each item has memories and emotions attached. The stuff I manage to donate, usually does not.
Lila
Posted: 30 March 2025 - 12:43 PM
SubC, good job on the counter! My bar/counter is in a real state, as you might imagine, and will stay that way until I am not so covered in grief and trying to cope with all the changes. For now, I think your idea of starting with the small room is best.
That little room was a guest room and space for one of the grandkids (crib in there) but they never use it. I expect it will remain a sort-and-store room until I sell the house. It can't be a guest room now that the bed and nightstand are gone. It IS really the clearest I have seen it in years, and now there is room to fully sort what is left in there. Good idea doing that before moving things in and making it inaccessible again. It was so bad I could not get halfway into the room and could not open the closet without moving lots of things. Much better now, but much to be gotten rid of.
Seeing all of Teen's things, ex's things, and my dogs' things disappear had made a lot of other things I have left feel insignificant. It is a good time for me to declutter, as very little seems to mean anything to me anymore.
I will update the Daily Tally as I go. I find my lists of what has left pretty inspiring over there.
SubC, all the things I will move with me are all over the house. Mainly because many are being used or in nearby totes for occasional use. But I will begin moving things to the garage and outside storage room (things that are replaceable if someone got in and stole) and will then move things like photos and special family items into the little bedroom for more secure storage.
I am emotionally exhausted and will just be resting today AND decluttering that little bedroom. Maybe making some soup as well.
Subclinical
Posted: 29 March 2025 - 08:25 PM
I think cleaning the dog crate space and filling it back up from the middle of your room is a good idea.
Do you have everything you are saving for when you move in the same place? Is there other stuff mixed in?
You might want to think about starting by sorting out everything that is left in the little bedroom, so it gets emptier instead of more crowded and nothing gets buried or hidden. What will that room be in the long term?
I did not do as much farm related work as I planned today, but i cleaned out the duck pen and cleaned water buckets and watered my houseplants. I decided I needed a rest day and did some reading and puttering and wandering around the yard/woods.
I also cleared the counter of doom! (I do still have that stashed box from when I stashed everything instead of cleaning it up, but maybe I can take something out of it tomorrow.)