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Hoarding Help Message Boards : Welcome to the new board! : Children of hoarders
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Children of hoarders

Posted: 29 December 2013 - 02:25 PM
To website:
I paid car payments until I was able to recieve the car title in my own name,
I pay car insurance,
I pay for premium gas since it can't run on regular and pay for my essential needs on a prayer of a paycheck. (no work,no pay weekly)

other hard times was a very bad break up from my boyfriend

funerials of loved ones should count too as hard times too.
- medical bills, student loans should count too.

Counselors are there for help and guidance,not decoration.

I have the courage and bravery to seek them unlike many others who just broke the boundary just coming to this website which is a huge step.

Those who come to this website should feel relief from this site. (grief before joy) I know it's a huge deal.
Posted: 28 December 2013 - 11:11 PM
Yes, Lynn, I think you said you are in your 30's and have never lived anywhere other than with your mom. I can't relate to that at all, and when/if you ever venture out on your own perhaps things will be different, I think Tillie was saying that as our life changes, some of our behaviors change. Since you have never had the stress of living on your own, paying bills, keeping a job, you have no idea how you may react. I was just saying I had no idea I would ever be a hoarder, until the stress of life was not dealt with appropriately, so if you ever do live on your own, you may have some surprises. Since you have never had a full time job or lived on your own, you may just have to accept that you will live with your mom forever, in that case you will have to just accept the choices you have made and make the best of it. You have blamed others for your situation, but in my experience, bad things happen and what I do next is my choice. I have given you great suggestions on how to start your work life, and you just keep complaining. The job you are reapplying for in May, will remember you from last time it didn't work out, you really need to take a look at why you are not willing to start working on your own, and why you are not willing to leave the security of your moms house. I know I sound mean, but am tired of your excuses. I promise to never respond to any of your posts again, just felt someone has to be honest with you. I know you do not want to look at yourself, so focus on your moms dysfunction, but really think you need to be honest with yourself, looking at the reasons you have been unable to keep a job or leave home. I wish you well and want no further discussion with you ever, thanks for respecting my wishes for no further contact.
Posted: 28 December 2013 - 04:18 PM
True I am older than you were when you first started on your own but I never felt the need to buy things for comfort. I always seek some form of cardio or some form of physical fitness such as tossing a (5 lb) medicine ball from hand to hand or some kind of resistance until the arm muscles get overworked. Bad for me but doesn't hurt anyone or ruin my life. Any form of exercise has always been the answer for me.

Also another solution to stop something before it starts is to seek counseling when I am able to be on my own so that I would never go down the same path as my mother.

Just thinking of the hardship and depressing feelings would also convince me to think twice before doing something I'd regret or start thinking like a "obsessive compulsive spartainism" to some degree.

I can ask myself the 3 questions:
Do I really need it?
Can I live without it?
Will it destroy my life without it?/ What is it's purpose for it?
I can't remember the 3 questions Helen Butigiegg asks but 2/3 ain't bad.

But not every body turns into hoarding just because a parent was one.
Posted: 28 December 2013 - 09:48 AM
Great insight Tillie. When I was a kid I was disgusted by my moms collection of ceramic chickens and could not understand why my mom had her collections. I could see she loved them and I had no affection at all for all of her stuff. I was sure I would never ever have stuff. I left home at 16, stayed in school, worked at fast food place, paid rent at an empty apartment, and felt so free and happy. Then after several difficult times, started shopping for comfort. Didn't think I had a problem because I bought "useful things", then as I got older it took over my life.
Posted: 27 December 2013 - 06:16 PM
I found this link to be insightful

It all depends on you and your relationship with "things".
Also, over time our feelings about "things" can change because we change or our life situations change.
: )
Posted: 27 December 2013 - 04:46 PM
I feel that when I can be on my own I might suffer from some degree of obsessive-compulsive spartanism.
I'm not sure where the line is.

I will also seek counseling when I can so that I can be evaluated. I'm not afraid to ask for help.
But could benefit from some coaching from the sidelines.

I will have some furniture and will only keep what I use within 2 years.

I am totally sure that I will never become a hoarder.
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