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Hoarding Help Message Boards : Welcome to the new board! : Looking to help Hoarders in any way I can!
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Looking to help Hoarders in any way I can!
   

Tillie
Posted: 21 January 2013 - 10:45 AM
Sorry we missed you. :(
Let us know if you still have this problem.
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julie
Posted: 20 January 2013 - 09:17 PM
Downloaded java -- took 3 tries. Installed java -- took 3 tries. Notification that java failed to install 2 times. Went to trouble shooting pages at Oracle and ran the applet that checks java and it said java is working. Hopefully that is correct and I will "see" you Tuesday.
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julie
Posted: 20 January 2013 - 07:36 PM
Missing plugin downloading and installing prob too late to get there. Drat.
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Tillie
Posted: 20 January 2013 - 02:17 PM
Julie I am looking forward to "seeing" you tonight in chat. :D
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julie
Posted: 20 January 2013 - 02:12 PM
My partner and I are both disabled. She with macular degeneration, which is getting worse approaching blindness and diabetes. Me with COPD and depression and probably a bunch of other stuff 8^). We are both in our early 70's and living in the North Bay of the SF area (Solono County). I have a house in Alameda County that I would like to empty and rent.

I will join the chat tonight and I signed up to take the Case Western Reserve Study.

We hired a person to clean up and could only stand her around for 2-4 days a month. She was IMO abusive, manipulative, dishonest and kept raising her charges. I fired her and my partner rehired her getting me banned from the house while she was here.

My partner's children helped for awhile but now have other obligations. The children left us homework (sort through that box and decide what to keep), but my partner was not very diligent. I do as much as I can but am loosing the battle. My partner took out stuff to cook and now I can't figure out where to put them back.

I have very limited income SS only.

I find this scary but all of you sound nice.
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Wendi N
Posted: 06 January 2013 - 07:46 PM
I found this
To be an interesting thread.i used to never get rid of anything , but 15 yrs ago my late father inlaw dropped by for a visit.....SURPRISE!!!! I swore I would never be embarassed like that again. Was I wrong. In 2007, a bad back (3 surgeries ), a mom diagnosed with a terminal Heath issue, 3 kids,and my mounting disability caused a relapse. Now it isn't too bad but we need to sell th echo use so we can move, and I just don't have "good" help. The kids can only do so much with HS homework to do. I have decided to hire a local company to clean, organize and stage my home. I will let you know how it goes and the cost. I m sooooooo ready to get my home back. It's amazing how depression and real physical limitations can throw one back into messy/clutter stage
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pfsears
Posted: 07 December 2012 - 08:43 PM
So, what can I do to help...AcornMama
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acorn_mama
Posted: 04 December 2012 - 01:39 AM
So, I am a 29 yr old mom of 5 who has hoarded since childhood. I want to stop I hate all this stuff but I don't know how, it's like its cemented here or something. I'm drowning in it and I want it gone. I want my kids to grow up in a clean and organized house like I never got to. If there is any hope for me I would be grateful. thank you
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pfsears
Posted: 20 November 2012 - 02:12 PM
John,
I'd be happy to talk to you via the internet.
my email is pfsears@aol.com
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Tillie
Posted: 18 November 2012 - 06:32 PM
Tuesday chat is for messies and hoarders only.
This is for them alone.

Sunday chat is open to everybody.
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Nicole Henderson
Posted: 18 November 2012 - 05:29 PM
Also, these next few weeks I'll be participating in the chatroom sessions on Tuesdays and Sundays now that I'm not overloaded with medical things.

I don't intend to stop this just when my project is due, either, so don't think that I'm just some stranger who'll just leave with the new year. :)
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Nicole Hendersona
Posted: 18 November 2012 - 05:26 PM
Marion--

Well, aside from asking family/neighbors, is there a 1800GOTJUNK nearby? They're great for the really bad messes that seem to have 50 layers.
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Nicole Henderson
Posted: 18 November 2012 - 05:24 PM
John--

I don't believe I have gotten it. Try emailing me at nicolelowehenderson at gmail, my hotmail has been acting up recently.
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John
Posted: 17 November 2012 - 06:42 PM
Sorry pfsears, I didn't know you were talking to me. Would you be comfortable with discussing by email?
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pfsears
Posted: 17 November 2012 - 12:09 PM
I would still like to help in any way I can...feel as though at this time in my life, approaching 60, that I want to lend a helping hand...
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John
Posted: 14 November 2012 - 03:30 AM
Hi Nicole

I've emailed you at that address and while it seems to have gone through ok, I haven't heard anything back yet. Did you get it?
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pfsears
Posted: 10 November 2012 - 02:23 PM
I posted a few weeks back. I want to help hoarders. I have been helping my brother with his hoard and another friend with her garage. I live in Nspa, CA. but can travel within a reasonable distance. Can I help you?
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Marion
Posted: 07 November 2012 - 12:56 PM
Do yo have resources for assistance in clean-up? My husband has threatened to leave me if this house is not cleaned up. :-(
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Nicole Henderson
Posted: 03 November 2012 - 11:33 PM
gaby --

Hi! I have a few solutions for you, but since they are more generalized, feel free to request some more, ask for clarification for your case, or report back with success (hopefully!)!

One-- I think you should reconsider your animal population. I have three dogs and a cat of my own, so I know how easy it is to fall in love with an animal, but if you have even just one too many, it isn't good. Not just the cost of food, but the amount of cleaning you must do after them and the messes they make just being animals, like chewing things or knocking things over. Over time, especially if you have many cluttered things around your house, that can be both exhausting to deal with and dangerous.

Two-- From what I understand, your son is living with you with his children, correct? If so, perhaps all of you could delegate simple chores to each other to help clear up the clutter, such as every week taking a big storage bin through the house and throwing things away that you don't need/use/have any use for anymore. I know this is a difficult concept for most to understand since, well, all of it SEEMS like you have to have it just in case, but perhaps with your son and grandchildren there to help you, you will be able to think more clearly about the items around you.

Three-- Your bipolar disorder will definitely have contributed to your hoarding, as will have your past. I hope you're doing well, and maybe talk with your doctor about getting in touch with a therapist or organizational specialist that could help you over the years? I feel like that would be the best course of action for long-term (as well as short-term) results.
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Nicole Henderson
Posted: 03 November 2012 - 11:23 PM
John--

I'm sorry that the email bounced back! It is still available, but here, try an alternative one: n lowe henderson @ hotmail . com (sans the spaces, of course). I would love to help you out in the best way that I can! :)
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Nicole Henderson
Posted: 01 November 2012 - 10:47 PM
Whoops, my bad! I had surgery in October but I'm back now, sorry y'all! :)

I will respond to everyone throughout the night tonight, thanks for being patient with me.
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John
Posted: 24 October 2012 - 02:10 AM
Looks like Nicole has gone. :(
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Ed
Posted: 17 October 2012 - 08:46 PM
Nicole,
Was here Tuesday with a great bunch. All very supportive. I have a new post entitled "Epiphanies" which I pray people will respond to. I need to find the magic to help my spouse become aware of her surroundings and how it has impacted her/our lives soon.
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John
Posted: 17 October 2012 - 05:43 PM
Hi Nicole

I've just tried emailing you but the email bounced back as the address was apparently incorrect.

Are you still looking for hoarders to help with your dissertation? I think I'm a hoarder, though not in the same way as the other people on here. I'm still trying to understand it really and though that maybe talking through it with a 3rd party could be beneficial. For that reason, if you need another source then do come back to me.

John
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nicole henderson
Posted: 11 October 2012 - 09:03 PM
nicole i am a good can idate fo your internship i think i am new to all of this i just recently begun to over come my hoarding for my self i refuse number one to go to another yard sale or thrifty shop. i made this my first rule my house is so full i even took one day loaded up a storage shed and then purposally let it laps figuring if i did not use any of it in a month i really did not need it. but my house is still full. i posted in an area earlier but not sure i posted in the right spot. i live in my house but it has been deemed unfit and unsafe for me to be here i am unable to move my mother and i owed this house together and it is paid for.so you know i am bi-polar as well as old and grumpy. at first there was no name for hoarding or thoughts my mom started ll this mess in the house i seemed to just carry on with it. she used to tell me that some day we might need it even if just for parts, that one day we will not be able to get things like the depression. she saved every littlething including can lids, some where in her passed they were used to ptch up holes in the wall. now i seem to collect dishes most of the time. i have 15 grand children and i am constantly replacing dishes even if they do not match or are chipped, etc. plstic containers for sure. saving left overs with these. i keep my refridge cleaned of old foods if htere more than three daysi chuck it. if not i make my own dog foods and biskets. saves me from going to shopping too much or at times at all. i will feed my animals before i get food for my self. my son is just the opposit he has now one dog and five cats in his room. as our animals will not get long not at all. my son will feed himself long before he thinks of his animals or his kids. his biggest problem i have is he brings stuff home from where ever i know these are things people have trashed and he thinks he wants them or that i might want them so for me to control me i need to get it through his head do not bring any thing home rather it followed him or not.
sory for spelling my hand and brain is not up too par all the time.
gaby
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Jessica H
Posted: 10 October 2012 - 01:49 PM
Helo Nicole, sorry about the wait. My work schedule was changed on me last minute.

My sister is a beautiful woman who has had some drug issues in the past (which she is okay with me admitting here). Her ex-husband left her, took all of their things, and fled to Canada, leaving her behind with an empty house. That was fifteen years ago, and now her house is filled with useless items, trash, and things she does not need but feels that she does because of her ex taking all of their belongings.

Do you have any advice on what to do about that?

Thank you,
Jessica
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Nicole Henderson
Posted: 08 October 2012 - 10:50 PM
Ed--

I'm sorry, I had family obligations that required me to miss Sunday! Are there other days available that I could hop in on?
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Ed
Posted: 04 October 2012 - 11:36 PM
Nicole. Will you be onboard Sunday for chat?
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Nicole Henderson
Posted: 03 October 2012 - 09:57 PM
Hello Jessica. I would definitely be happy to help but do you mind giving me some more details (if you are willing, naturally) about your situation?

Thanks

Nicole
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Jessica H
Posted: 03 October 2012 - 06:02 PM
Hello Nicole, I am the daughter of a serious hoarder. She refuses to see a therapist and is 'fucntional' and her living conditions are not horrible, but I was looking through here and would love to obtain help as well as helping you.

What do you suggest I do?
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Nicole Henderson
Posted: 23 September 2012 - 09:32 PM
Bumping this thread up again!
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Nicole Henderson
Posted: 22 August 2012 - 10:29 PM
Ali-

Oh my goodness, I am so, so sorry for the wait! I had internet connection problems for a while and then my family went on a camping trip and gave me a twelve hour notice ahead of time.

My email address is nicoleeolee @ live . com. My high school does not provide us with emails but I am perfectly okay with emailing you on this account. : )

I'm eagerly awaiting a response from you!

- Nicole
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Ali
Posted: 18 August 2012 - 11:54 PM
Nicole:


Hello again. Thanks so much for your reply. Sounds great., intriguing even. : }

Resistant to sharing my info, in such public forums as this one, could you make your info available to me, so that I may reach you? My hope is that this will allow us to communicate beyond this forum.

What's more, and as a thought, providing me with your email address at school (for example) might be perfect. This is especially the case, since it'll likely be terminated after you graduate--providing you with a solid means of more greatly assuring your personal privacy.


Sincerely yours,
Ali
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Nicole Henderson
Posted: 04 August 2012 - 11:39 PM
Ali:

Haha, that's perfectly alright!

Preferably, I'm hoping that I can help in some way, whether it be in a major way or just in a minor way. The consultants for this senior project are looking to see if I can prove that I have dedicated my time to helping others and that is what I intend to do.

The minimum amount of 'volunteer work' I have to present is 15 hours, which I could probably accumulate in the span of three months if I take into consideration how often I read, visit, and correspond with others in this thread. However, I am fully prepared to go above and beyond the minimum if it means I can better help somebody, such as yourself. :)

I'm hoping for it to be either on this forum or, if that makes you uncomfortable, over email, if you would give your permission for me to use screencaps of it in my final presentation. I wouldn't use your real name, email, or any other incriminating information, and all it would be in is a slideshow that only a handful of adults will see during my final presentation.

I hope this answered your questions!
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Ali
Posted: 31 July 2012 - 02:44 AM
Nicole:


Wow! I'm just now re-reading your initial post. For some reason, I completely took your message out-of-context. To this end, I apologize for any confusion, etc., that my longwinded post(s) may have created, for you or anyone else.

While I'm still interested in participating, I'm curious to know specifically, just how your participants--the users of this forum, such as myself--will benefit from our involvement? And, specifically, what would that look like? Also, over what period of time do you foresee us engaging in this online dialogue?

Again, I eagerly await your reply on this most sensitive, challenging, and urgent matter. A position each of us on this forum find ourselves, I'm (pretty) sure.


Sincerely yours,
Ali
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Ali
Posted: 31 July 2012 - 02:17 AM
Nicole:


Hello again. I appreciate your timely reply. With that said, how do you propose we connect?

Is there a way that we can share our contact info privately? If so, I'd love to exercise this option, if you don't mind.

I eagerly await to hear back from you. Thank you, in advance.


Gratefully yours,
Ali : }
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Nicole Henderson
Posted: 30 July 2012 - 07:57 PM
Hello, Ali!

I would love to be of assistance to you, and you certainly haven't scared me off!
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Ali
Posted: 22 July 2012 - 02:22 AM
Nicole:


Hello there and how are you?

I truly am so excited to know that you take such interest in such a deeply personal struggle for those of us who live with this derivational challenge. There certainly is a need for more professional clinicians who can work with this often under-served population, to better assist the many faces of those impacted--whether directly and/or indirectly.

I would love to receive any assistance you are able to provide! And I, in-turn, am happy to assist you in your remaining coursework and related endeavors for school.

Also, as information, for as long as I can recall, I have been challenged all of my life, with this embarrassing somewhat-of-a secret. Living "in the closet" with the state of my home has truly weighed on me, as well as on my loved ones (for the few that know), and has been very scarring in numerous ways. : (

Living on a modest, fixed income, due to being on "Disability," I have been officially diagnosed with the following:

* Bi-polar Disorder, (with Deep Clinical Depression, when depressed)
* Anxiety--general and social
* Significant cognitive impairments
* ADHD
* OCD
* Learning disabilities
* and, a host of physical medical challenges

Desperate for another way of living, feeling, and interacting with others, I gladly welcome any assistance I may receive and have access to! As I have remained ineffective in tackling this monumental problem, causing me to live a secret, double life, with a myriad of negatively complex impacts. Impacts that affect me, my loved ones, and those who I would love to include as a part of my life--persons who exist in my past, present, and future (known and not yet known)--every day of my life! : /

Please don't be put-off by my (perhaps.seemingly) intellectual presentation. The host of disabilities I live with are quite crippling. Disabilities that obviously get in the way of my daily functioning, even moment-to-moment, and ultimately my quality of life. What's more, being almost always misunderstood and my difficulty in managing my life doubted, my presentation often creates a major impediment in my receiving the services I so desperately need. "Why?," one may ask. Well, because I sound so darn good. However, beyond this ?cover,' most everyone would be SHOCKED at just how out-of-control my situation and my life really are!! Ultimately, I constantly struggle, and am crumbling under the weight of my dysfunctional life! : [

Eager to connect with you, please advise me as to how I/we may do so. Especially if the magnitude of my challenges don't overwhelm and/or scare you off. [b]PLEASE HELP!!! I am beyond drowning!!! :' {


Gratefully yours,
Ali :}
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Ali
Posted: 22 July 2012 - 02:10 AM
Nicole:


Hello there and how are you?

I truly am so excited to know that you take such interest in such a deeply personal struggle for those of us who live with this derivational challenge. There certainly is a need for more professional clinicians who can work with this often under-served population, to better assist the many faces of those impacted--whether directly and/or indirectly.

I would love to receive any assistance you are able to provide! And I, in-turn, am happy to assist you in your remaining coursework and related endeavors for school.

Also, as information, for as long as I can recall, I have been challenged all of my life, with this embarrassing somewhat-of-a secret. Living "in the closet" with the state of my home has truly weighed on me, as well as on my loved ones (for the few that know), and has been very scarring in numerous ways. : (

Living on a modest, fixed income, due to being on "Disability," I have been officially diagnosed with the following:

* Bi-polar Disorder, (with Deep Clinical Depression, when depressed)
* Anxiety--general and social
* Significant cognitive impairments
* ADHD
* OCD
* Learning disabilities
* and, a host of physical medical challenges

Desperate for another way of living, feeling, and interacting with others, I gladly welcome any assistance I may receive and have access to! As I have remained ineffective in tackling this monumental problem, causing me to live a secret, double life, with a myriad of negatively complex impacts. Impacts that affect me, my loved ones, and those who I would love to include as a part of my life--persons who exist in my past, present, and future (known and not yet known)--every day of my life! : /

Please don't be put-off by my (perhaps...seemingly) intellectual presentation. The host of disabilities I live with are quite crippling. Disabilities that obviously get in the way of my daily functioning, even moment-to-moment, and ultimately my quality of life. What's more, being almost always misunderstood and my difficulty in managing my life doubted, my presentation often creates a major impediment in my receiving the services I so desperately need. "Why?," one may ask. Well, because I sound so darn good. However, beyond this ?cover,' most everyone would be SHOCKED at just how out-of-control my situation and my life really are!! Ultimately, I constantly struggle, and am crumbling under the weight of my dysfunctional life! : [

Eager to connect with you, please advise me as to how I/we may do so. Especially if the magnitude of my challenges don't overwhelm and/or scare you off. PLEASE HELP!!! I am beyond drowning!!! :' {


Gratefully yours,
Ali :}
[/size]
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Nicole Henderson
Posted: 17 July 2012 - 05:04 PM
First of all, I am so sorry for my absence, I was without a computer for a while.

@Pat, I would love to help you!

@Amanda, I will message you shortly via Skype. Could I have your permission to use some information from our chats for my presentation later this year regarding what we've talked about? Of course it will only be what you allow me to use and I can give you an alias if you would like.

@Shannon, I do, as a matter of fact! I was cleaning out my bedroom a few days ago and it's very cluttered with boxes since we recently moved houses. What I did was make piles- things I absolutely cannot live without, things I wouldn't mind putting away/giving away, and things I don't care for anymore. I'm not a hoarder myself but even that was hard for me to get rid of some childhood things that I remember cherishing that just no longer appeal to me!

Another thing to do is remind yourself that your clutter does not define you. I think that before you clean up the physical mess, you have to work on the inside mess. I'm sorry if that seems very personal but it was my thesis in my essay and I strongly stand by it. Fixing the symptoms does not fix the entire problem.

(Also, if anybody would like to see my essay out of curiosity or whatever, let me know and I'll link it here. I'm pretty proud of it myself! :))

Sorting through real trash (expired coupons, out-dated newspapers, etc) and throwing that away is also a good first step if any of that is lying around.
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shannon
Posted: 10 July 2012 - 10:43 PM
what tips can you offer i would love to here some ? i would love to find ways to keep organized but all my attempts fail...
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Amanda
Posted: 06 July 2012 - 12:10 AM
Hello Nicole, thank you for your kind gesture.
May I email you please?

I am very private so if I may add you on Skype first, that would be best for me.

My skype is HBK-0105
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PatB
Posted: 05 July 2012 - 12:37 PM
hello nicole.

my name is patty bennett, And i am a major clutterer. i have boxes and boxes of storage and other miscellenaeous items. now that my family is dead it is Impossible to oart ways with such items. i don't want to turn into a hoarder and am Currently here to get somet ips on how to manage my cluttering problem.

if You wouldnt min helping me on this forum i would Be greatful. i do not have email or a computer and must travel to the local library to do anything reguarding the Internet.

- patty B
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Nicole Henderson
Posted: 28 June 2012 - 08:15 PM
Hi Anne! I'll email you shortly.

For the record, I cannot give much help, only 'moral support' and a few tips here and there for coping, etc. I'm definitely not licensed or anything but I believe that even just being there for somebody can make a huge difference.
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Anne
Posted: 24 June 2012 - 08:11 PM
Nicole, what sort of help are you offering?
I am a minor hoarder / major clutterer. I have had this problem all my life. I am also bipolar which plays a part in my problem. Before I got on the right meds and a good therapist, I used to buy like crazy.
We are in the process of getting our house ready to sell and move out of state. I am in a constant state of anxiety because my house is so messy. My only saving grace is I have amazing friends that I have confided in and have offered to help me.
I will be glad to answer questions, if you want to email me direct, that would be okay. eaorn52@gmail.com
Anne
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Anne
Posted: 24 June 2012 - 08:11 PM
Nicole, what sort of help are you offering?
I am a minor hoarder / major clutterer. I have had this problem all my life. I am also bipolar which plays a part in my problem. Before I got on the right meds and a good therapist, I used to buy like crazy.
We are in the process of getting our house ready to sell and move out of state. I am in a constant state of anxiety because my house is so messy. My only saving grace is I have amazing friends that I have confided in and have offered to help me.
I will be glad to answer questions, if you want to email me direct, that would be okay. eaorn52@gmail.com
Anne
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Nicole Lowe
Posted: 19 June 2012 - 08:14 AM
Hey guys, just bumping the thread up. :)
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Nicole Henderson
Posted: 13 June 2012 - 09:28 PM
Hello! I have always been interested in why some people seem to have OCD while others are hoarders, or a mix of both, or neither. My goal on this message board is to reach out to others and help them in any way I can, and maybe ask some questions (if that's alright!) about how hoarding affects your life. (It probably won't be used in my presentation, I'm just curious myself.)

Um... I think that's it. I will try to check this thread daily, if not multiple times during the week, and all correspondence will take place in this thread so that it's all easy to access for me in the future.

Please don't hesitate to talk to me, I won't bite, I promise. All results will be confidential in the final presentation, and nobody needs to tell me more than what they are comfortable with.
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