When every part of your life is chaos it can be overwhelming. Where do you even start? When you get married you expect it to be for life and you expect the othe person to be ther for you so when they are not it is very hard to deal with. I guess the only way to think of it is one part of your life is over which leaves you free to start a new part! Now you don't have to check with your husband. If you decide you want to go away for a weekend at 6pm on Friday you can!! My advice is to tackle the financial part of the mess first. Being financially strapped is very stressful. Set up a small desk area to pay bills, get a file cabinet to file your bills when you've paid them. (I have folders for each bill like taxes, rent/mortgage, electric, each credit card, etc.) I also have a budget on excell where I list each bill. (can do the same on a piece of paper) When I pay the bill I write the date and the amount. This way I can tell at one glance if I have paid all my bills for the month. when I have not received a bill I can call and have them send it. This is very important when it comes to credit cards since they will increase your rate if you are late. Once you have improved your financial situation it will give you more options to do things for yourself..like taking off onFridays at 6pm! Good luck and try not to go shopping for more stuff. Ask yourself if you "need" it or just "want" it. Only buy if you need it.

Hi, this is the same boat i'm in, except i have a lot of nice stuff that i can't fathom parting with, yeah there's trash too - boxes and old mail and new mail, but no male .. don't want one, that's what started this fortress i've built and hidden in, anyway - i say i'm gonna do, and i get paralyzed too-- i can't figure this out, i'm wonderful outside the 2 bedroom apt, i don't let anyone in, except my daughter, i hide from the maintenance dept and change my own air filters, my fridge conked out last year, can't tell anyone they'd take care of it right away, but the area from kitchen to door is not wide enough, and i have yet to make it. It's books and clothes and clothes, Why? Why? Why? Why am i stuck? i'm smart, i socialize well, oh, i don't work, retired, got all the time in the world, just not the inclination? going to camp this week, haven't packed a thing. this has got to be mental, thanx for reading,

Hello, I'm sorry you're dealing with all of that. My heart goes out to you. Perhaps asking some friends or your local church or even something like 1800hoarders (or another similar company) could help.
If you need any moral support, I will be here for you to talk to on this board.

- Nicole

Hi TrashLady,Unfortunately this board isn't very active. I want to tell you I am so sorry about the state of your life, many of us on this board are in similar predicaments. It's terrible to live in fear and shame over something out of your control. As a fellow hoarder, I'm afraid I'm not of much help... just that I'll send as much positive energy to you as I can. If you're willing to be on tv, maybe one of the tv shows will help you? I've considered that myself, but too scared to be made public. Do you have any local clean out companies? Maybe it won't be as expensive as you think. Have you seen a therapist? I hope you have some family and friends that can give you some support, it's a terrible burden you're carrying.

I just found this site and I'm sitting here trying to think of what to say. I guess I should start by saying that I think I'm a hoarder. Maybe I shouldn't say "I think" because I know I am. I don't buy things and hoard that way. I'm not a shopper. I have no money for that. I have never really gotten rid of anything though. I am 48 years old and have 48 years of stuff in my house. I've never been much of a housekeeper but my house was liveable and functioning. I could invite people over and enjoy my life. That is no longer the case. Things took a dramatic turn for me when my marriage fell apart after 23 years. I went through severe depression and have never been the same. I can no longer function. My house has turned into one giant trash can. My house is completely full of trash. I have had to isolate myself from everyone because of this. I am so ashamed. I don't understand why I'm like this. It has taken over and effected every aspect of my life. I have to keep everyone at a distance because I can't let them find out about my dirty little secret. Everything is in complete chaos. My personal life, my work life, my finances. All of it. My air conditioner is no longer working and my refrigerator also went out but I can't have anyone come to fix them because I can't let anyone in my house. My house is in chaos, which send my brain into chaos and I just completely shut down. I go to work and then come home and sit in my chair because I can't function. I swear to myself that the next day will be better and I will try to throw out some trash, try to just clean out a little corner, but I come home and it completely overwhelms me and all I can do is sit. I want help. I want a home that I can invite my best friend over for dinner and have girls night. I want to normal! I feel like I can't talk to anyone about this. I can't let people know what I'm really like. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to get help.