i keep things because i saw my biological father hoard also. Ive been physically and mentally abused and lost alot of belongings and was stolen from. ive had many deaths in my family. i like nice things. My mom was a clean hoarder of sorts so i get clean hoarding from her. I'm sick of hoarding its getting on my nerves. I started changing my behaviors,not saving dumb stuff like bread ties jugs and other things cluttering up our home. GOD promted me to write a song about being a keeper of stuff {hoarding.} The song is called all these bags!Look for it on youtube n Where did the people go tribute to 911 ill be putting more on later. im starting to chang my life little by little giving away things. Bless others n ill be blessed its a win win situation! ill write more of my story later dint sleep much need a kn ap

Im not sure what topic to write in so i guess this will do. I am in need of advice concerning my mom. Im 30 years old and getting ready to move in with my son at my moms house until my husband gets back from Army training...my mother knows she is a hoarder. Ive watched lots of Hoarders episodes so i understand the risks, signs, how to "handle" the hoarder. My mom has a beautiful 5/6 bedroom home. She sleeps on the couch every night.2yrs ago my sister and i cleaned out the "library" out for my grandma to stay after hip surgery...to my dismay that room is right back if not worse than it was. Ive started cleaning out the kitchen and i feel like it will go right back when im done. My question i suppose is where do i begin? What can i do otherr than waste my time cleaning? What are the right steps to take? I will be moving away when my husband gets back and i hate to leave her in that house. She is 56 stubborn and will not let anyone in her house or get counceling....what do i do?

Hi Sherrie,
Thank you for posting your story. I agree with Darci. You should try to find out what is causing the sleeping issues for you. It is very hard to be motivated to take on any size cleaning project if you are constantly fatigued. We can help you with suggestions on how to start the cleaning process of your home, but truly the first step is to treat yourself. Feel free to ask questions and we would all be happy to provide you with our input. Most important...don't get so discouraged that you give up. The fact that you are posting on here lets us know you aren't at that point yet :)

Hi Sherrie... we are all here to help. All of us are at various stages of recovery and/or helping others. Have you sought medical evaluation of why you may not be sleeping well? It could be due to interaction of medications, an underlying illness... many things. A two prong approach of medical care and counseling is very effective. Even if you don't feel that you need counseling, sometimes it is good to have a sounding board and someone to help you take a barometer reading on how you are feeling about various facets of your life. In the meantime, would you like some other suggestions on how you can take little baby steps, say... 10 minutes a day... to get you started? I have MS and was a single mom working two jobs for 10 years... am no stranger to fatigue and can help you through this! We are all here for you :)

I know that in my case I am sleep deprived. I work every day in a very stressful job and when I get home I just do not have the energy to try to clean and purge. There is no clear space to work from and I just do not know how to purge and organize. My main problems are books that I hve not read but want to and personal papers. I have heard it said that the outward appearance of your place is the inward feelings of your mind

As it turns out, there is quite a bit of studies and commentaries out there about sleep deprivation, acquiring too much and hoarding. Based on my own patterns, I was relieved to see that there are strong links between sleep deprivation, acquiring too much and hoarding. Regardless of why you were/are sleep deprived, it is a compouding factor to the momentum of our downward spirals, especially if there are other factors playing into the "perfect storm" (illness, other forms of OCD, loss (job, family, etc.) Even a "sane" person can become erratic and irrational if sleep deprived (ask any mother of an infant about three weeks old...).

Like so much of a hoarder's life, everything is intertwined and there often seems to be a catch 22 (I can't sleep well until I can clean off my bed, but I can't clean off my bed until I clean out my closet, but can't clean out my closet because I don't have room to spread out and sort everything, plus I am so tired I get so overwhelmed and go out and shop just to get a temporary burst of energy...

I think that this phase (being sleep deprived and being on the brink of acquiring more, hoarding more and possibly spiraling downward) is where we need to most support and the least amount of judgement from those around us.

I would love to hear what "the professionals" have to say about my tendency to keep those who insult me away when I am sleep deprived and fragile. As much as I need my family and friends at this point (to prevent isolation factoring into the "perfect storm") I need their insults even less. What is scary for me is that once I start to isolate from those who insult me, I feel so sad that they see me as crazy, lazy, OCD, a packrat, a hoarder that I assume that the people who do love me see me the same way and I cut myself off from them as well.

What a self-perpetuating condition!

But even if you have a clean place to sleep, you still might have other things that prevent you from sleeping well (illness, anxiety, etc.) Do you feel that you are sleep deprived? Going back to the original question, do you feel that sleep deprivation seems to make to acquire and/or hoard more?

I guess I am an exception as far as not having a clean place to sleep. My queen-sized bed is the largest CLEAR flat spot in my house. Of course, it's upstairs and once I come downstairs for the day, I rarely go back up there until it's time for bed. I get upset if anyone puts anything on my bed that needs to be removed in order to lie down. It's almost like it's a sacred spot or something.

Great question! In my experience, many compulsive hoarders are sleep deprived because they lack a proper place to rest. Most only have a small "clearing" on a couch or chair, and spend their awake and sleeping time there. Furthermore, the anxiety level of most is elevated, to put it mildly, resulting in difficulty "turning off" their brains in order to properly rest. When working with compulsive hoarders on their recovery process, we prioritize our efforts to provide for a clear bed in which they can retire each night. Furthermore, we work with them to find ways to fall asleep and stay asleep for the night. Deep breathing techniques, white noise or focused thought excercises tend to be the best solutions to getting rest. For some, sleep medications are prescribed, though there are several natural herbs and teas that can also help. Improper sleep, as well as, nutritional deprevations do seem to have an adverse affect on hoarding and acquiring behaviors. During the recovery process, it is imperative to develop healthy habits to sustain mental, emotional and physical strength.

From the little bit that I have to talked to fellow "keepers", I am beginning to see common threads... one of which is sleep deprivation. Sleep deprivation can be caused by medications, work stress, general anxiety, children, domestic issues and illness and several other factors. For those of you comfortable doing so, please note if you are chronically sleep deprived and, if so, if you feel that it worsens not only your hoarding, but your tendency to acquire too much as well.