I wish I could offer you a solution, but I am pretty much in the same boat you are. Like you, I have suffered a tremendous amount of loss over a period of many, many years ... so much that it has beaten me down. Not just loss of loved ones but loss of physical and mental abilities, loss of hope ...
People just don't understand how difficult it is to cope with even the most minor daily things when your body and/or brain are broken, and I don't know how to get them to understand.
My mother is a hoarder as are both my sisters. I had always prided myself on being organized, but when I became extremely ill many years ago and couldn't keep up with disability paperwork and was in and out of hospitals constantly, everything spiraled out of control. I haven't even been able to file my taxes for the last 2 years because whenever I start working on them, something pressing comes up: my mother is ill and needs to be taken to the E.R., I have a broken bone, I have to complete paperwork that is due by a deadline or I'll lose my benefits, my dog suddenly becomes ill, things in my house break down and companies I hire to repair them take my money, don't do the work or don't do it correctly and leave the house in worse shape, leaving me with more to repair.
I always wanted to move to Oregon, so I envy you. Does Portland have services to help people with disabilities? I've sought help where I live, but all I can get is a shower chair.