I just don´t know what to do.
It hurts me and makes me so sad, that the man I love above all things; won´t let me clean our own house!
Everytime I clean something, he yells at me. And then he goes through the garbage I have collected to throw away, and of course he picks up almost everything again!
He is a hoarder.
I understand that, but I would never leave him because he is my soul-mate.
I just DON´T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!
I cannot have any friends over.
My son has moved out, because he couldn´t live in the house.
I cannot cook or bake, because there is NO ROOM to do so!
I often eat out on restaurants or at friends, because there is no room to sit.
We as a family, has NO PLACE TO SIT and for example watch tv or a movie.
We stumble over everything and I have fallen more than once.
I had to leave, due to family problems, for more than 6 months, and when I got home....IT WAS EVEN WORSE!
I try to talk to him about his....try to make him get help, but HE REFUSES!!
Our kids are teenagers, and "his son" is used to this living conditions, but my son lives with his grandparents, because of how the house is.
And now, my husband wants us to try to have a common child.
But how could I ever bring a baby into this mess?
I AM SO FRUSTATED AND SAD!
It feels like, this will be my "lot" for the rest of my life.
I cannot leave him, because I love him to death and back again.
But I cannot live in this house!!!
WHAT SHALL I DO???
If I contact any clean-up crew or get help somehow, my husband will scream and yell and most likely NOT let anyone into the house; or on his property.
He will be angry with me and I would still not had accomplish anything.
I DON´T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!