My mom has been a hoarder since I was about 10. She recently had a stroke and I am finding that I am absorbing the blame for her actions. I've been told By family that I should have taken her money away from her, that I should have physically forced her to get mental and physical help. These same people do nothing to help with her day to day care or with helping to clean up. My sister and I have made a start by cleaning one room, and that was like pulling teeth.
I think people feel bad putting the blame on her now because she's sick and I have become the abuse proxy. I work a stressful job (Nurse) and I have my own health problems. I simply can't take this anymore..everywhere I turn there is blame and anger directed at me and no help.
I am almost 50 and only now am I starting to break free. I recently got my own apartment and am being vilified for that. Surprisingly, my mom doesn't think it right that I'm being blamed either and she supports my move to a new place. I am not abandoning her..even with her hoarding problem, she is still a good person. But, I can't go on doing this. I feel like if I do, I am going to have a nervous breakdown. I feel so alone.