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Hoarding Help Message Boards : Welcome to the new board! : Being blamed for hoarder's actions
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Being blamed for hoarder's actions

Posted: 11 June 2019 - 04:54 PM
Hi Steph

Sorry your Uncle is putting the blame on you and your siblings.

I am not a hoarder but I live with one.
I keep the inside of the house clear & clean but he has hoarded up the entire garage, carport and outdoor property.
People blame me.
Say I should clean it up or say I should force him to clean it up.
If I could have I would have.

I do not blame you at all.
As a child it was impossible for you to make your Mom change and as an adult child it's still impossible.

Great that you will soon buy a home.
Happy to know you will not be dealing with the hoarded house, ever.

There is a website specifically for the children of hoarders.
It's called "children of hoarders".

Your Uncle is being unreasonable toward you.
He has no concept of the hoarding disorder and how it manifests.

You are NOT to accept any of this blame he is trying to put on you.
Posted: 11 June 2019 - 03:37 PM
Hi, I'm new. My mom has been a hoarder since I was about 10. She owns a house that is unlivable and is ruining the apartment she lives in as well.

I am looking to buy my first home in a couple of years. My uncle thinks I should purchase her hoarder home and fix it up.
The house needs thousands of dollars of work- it may be unsalvageable. When I stated I would not be doing this, he became irate. It turns out he blames us kids for my mom's hoarding because he thinks we could have stopped her.
I think because she's been ill lately he feels badly giving her grief and I'm the next best thing.

I love my mom and in many ways she's a good mother. But, I want no part of the hoarder house and I've told her this. She doesn't even think I should do what he suggested. The last thing I need is that monstrosity under my name. I've already told her I don't want it, and not to leave it to me when she passes,lol.

Is it normal for family members to blame the children of the hoarder?
Hoarding Help Message Boards : Welcome to the new board! : Being blamed for hoarder's actions

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