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Hoarding Help Message Boards : Welcome to the new board! : Daughter of mother who is a hoarder
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Daughter of mother who is a hoarder

Posted: 10 January 2019 - 07:34 PM
Hi Tammy

Many mothers that hoard extend their hoards to their children's homes.
It's not fair.
It is impossible to clean a house when there is way too much stuff.

Please stay strong and do not surrender.
You and your children deserve to live in a clean safe home.

Go ahead and let her scream and freak out as you declutter YOUR home.
Tell her she is welcome in YOUR home but all the stuff isn't.

You will still have to fight with her but eventually in time she will have to learn that you will no longer tolerate her hoarding up YOUR home.

Keep tossing all the unwanted stuff and cleaning the areas.

Do not allow her access to the house when you are not home or she will sabotage your efforts.

I live with a hoarding man.
He has learned that the areas inside the house are
Took a long time to get him to stop trying to clutter every living space in here but he eventually learned.
Since the areas are clutter free and clean I can easily see anything out of place and get that gone too.
It has been worth the fight to live in a clean clutter free home.

Put your foot down
Do not back down
Stay strong
Clean your home

Best wishes, Tillie
Posted: 10 January 2019 - 07:18 PM
Hi, I'm new to this site & am so glad to find it. My mother is 70 & has hoarded my whole life, but it is worse than ever. I'm 38 yr old mother of 2. Growing up in her house was shameful, stressful & chaotic. I left at 17, but still cannot escape her. I bought my house in '02 & was obsessed with having a clean, clutter-free home & did for many years. After 2 failed relationships & raising 2 children alone depression got the best of me. I couldn't keep up with all the things children have & all the while people, especially my mother, would constantly bring in more junk. I would panic because of all the crap coming in. My depression worsened & she amped up the amount of things she would bring; clothes, books, kitchen items, newspapers, etc. She reveled in my inability to deal with the mess because I'd given up fighting her. She knew my shame of having people see my cluttered home & it was her way of keeping people (i.e. New boyfriends/ friends) away from me, yet she would bring relatives over unannounced & was pleased to see how upset I was. I had enough & started clearing the clutter. When she came over & saw how much had been done she freaked out, arguing about how I needed those things & I would regret getting rid of them. If she's here while I'm hauling out the trash/ recycling, she gets completely upset with a crazy look in her eyes & tries to convince me about how I shouldn't recycle that good, heavy store bag because I'll need it for something. Then she'll bring over more crap to try to compensate for what I've got rid of. I've tried many times to help her clean out her hoard & it always ends with her screaming & crying at me until I give up. At this point I'd just like to be able to have my own home clean without her hoard extending into it. I can't take the stress, fighting & mess but don't have the heart to cut her out of our lives. It seems that's what it would take for me to live in a peaceful, clutter-free exsistence. Heaven help us.
Hoarding Help Message Boards : Welcome to the new board! : Daughter of mother who is a hoarder

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