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Hi, I'm new to this site & am so glad to find it. My mother is 70 & has hoarded my whole life, but it is worse than ever. I'm 38 yr old mother of 2. Growing up in her house was shameful, stressful & chaotic. I left at 17, but still cannot escape her. I bought my house in '02 & was obsessed with having a clean, clutter-free home & did for many years. After 2 failed relationships & raising 2 children alone depression got the best of me. I couldn't keep up with all the things children have & all the while people, especially my mother, would constantly bring in more junk. I would panic because of all the crap coming in. My depression worsened & she amped up the amount of things she would bring; clothes, books, kitchen items, newspapers, etc. She reveled in my inability to deal with the mess because I'd given up fighting her. She knew my shame of having people see my cluttered home & it was her way of keeping people (i.e. New boyfriends/ friends) away from me, yet she would bring relatives over unannounced & was pleased to see how upset I was. I had enough & started clearing the clutter. When she came over & saw how much had been done she freaked out, arguing about how I needed those things & I would regret getting rid of them. If she's here while I'm hauling out the trash/ recycling, she gets completely upset with a crazy look in her eyes & tries to convince me about how I shouldn't recycle that good, heavy store bag because I'll need it for something. Then she'll bring over more crap to try to compensate for what I've got rid of. I've tried many times to help her clean out her hoard & it always ends with her screaming & crying at me until I give up. At this point I'd just like to be able to have my own home clean without her hoard extending into it. I can't take the stress, fighting & mess but don't have the heart to cut her out of our lives. It seems that's what it would take for me to live in a peaceful, clutter-free exsistence. Heaven help us.
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