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Hoarding Help Message Boards : Welcome to the new board! : Fears, overwhelming, still at home
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Fears, overwhelming, still at home

Posted: 06 March 2013 - 01:12 AM
Hi Caitlin,

Yeah my 2 fur babies love getting into high jinks when they are at home too. :)

The other day while I was in the process of getting dressed Matt decided to run off with my pants and hide under the kitchen table with them. Lol. :)

They are very well behaved when they are out in public with me though. :)
Posted: 05 March 2013 - 11:48 PM
Thank you for your words of inspiration.

Moving things around to other parts of the house isn't quite an option because my mother seems to be a very mild hoarder as well, as well as an OCD control freak (think Danny Tanner from Full House but slightly less). My furbabies are what get me through the days. My youngest one is 10 months and is every zoo animal plus all three stooges combined which never fails to make me laugh. Today alone she managed to get paint on herself because mom was painting a room and she had to be a part of everything in there. She's been bathed since though (by me).

I tend to get frustrated when I "shuffle" only because it feels like it only seems to move and not disappear completely. I do like the pictures idea and may have to start trying that. I know some of my clothes can be donated to people impacted by Sandy. My town was severely hit by her.

i have thought of renting a storage unit and bagging everything to take there so that I have room to simply sort through it and not take up my house. That way it's not in my room so I can clean everything and start putting some of it back if I decide to keep it and donating/throwing out what isn't going to come home again. It would also give me a deadline of sorts too since I'd have to pay rent on the space for a month or so. I can't even get to places that I would be putting stuff, like clothes or books. I haven't gotten to my closet in years so a lot of those clothes would get donated...

Even just typing this out is helping. I'm grateful for finding this place because while I love my family to bits, they're not the most supportive about some things so hearing that I'm not the only one and that I can do this and such is a comfort. I thank you for that *virtual hugs*
Posted: 02 March 2013 - 08:19 PM
LOL. :)
Posted: 02 March 2013 - 07:48 PM
Fur babies are the best! They never fail to brighten your day.

My daughter says the reason FURniture is called that is because the cats and dogs have a right to lay on it. :)
Posted: 02 March 2013 - 12:55 PM
My 2 dogs, Cory and Matt, have also helped me deal with my depression too. Like whenever they do something goofy or when I come home and they immediately jump on me; that always cheers me up. :)

The other day I left a sandwich sitting on the coffee table and when I went back to get it, I saw Cory eating half of it. Lol. :)

When I saw that he got to it before I did, I laughed so hard that I started crying. :)
Posted: 02 March 2013 - 12:08 PM
Just being around people who know and understand what I am going through like, my boss and my boyfriend, has always helped me with my depression. And of course being able to help hoarders whenever I can always helps too. Like right now I feel like the happiest person on earth because in a week I get to go to Texas and help another hoarder. :)
Posted: 02 March 2013 - 11:07 AM
Hi Caitlin,

You just got started by coming here. Congratulations! I came here about a month ago and read all the posts. It is so helpful to know there are others who have the same feelings and troubles you do. It's good to read online articles and books about hoarding too.

How many people live in your home? Is the rest of the house pretty clean? Is anyone there kind enough to talk to about help? For instance if you told your Mom you really wanted to make an effort to start cleaning your room would she agree that some things belong in other places, like the dvd's?

It sounds like your family members don't respect you very much and that makes life even more painful and difficult. Realize that you ARE worthy of respect no matter what your life is like right now. But right now the respect may have to come from only you.

Try to remove things from your room that are pure trash. Put them in a trash bag and in the trash can. You'll feel better, no one else will have to deal with it and it gets some action going. Some people have trouble deciding what is pure trash. Like used paper plates, soda cups, empty snack bags. If that's what happens to you is there a friend or family member who can guide you thru it?

It's my opinion that when a person is starting to clean, churning (I have always called it shuffling) is not such a bad thing. It takes a lot of time but in the process of going thru a pile if you can put some items together, like all papers in a box, all personal grooming items together, dirty clothes in a bag then you have a little more control and can go back to it later. While doing that if you handle anything that you can easily let go for trash or donation do it.

Some people start out with boxes that are labeled ~ keep, discard, donate, think about. That's too many decisions for me at one time but I like the organization of grouping like items, hence my shuffling method. Each hoarder will find a method that works best for him/her if the time is available. Some people need to move at a faster pace if there are outside pressures.

Do you have the time to commit to some action every day? Even 5 minutes and then a break may be the way to start. The first level for me is fairly easy ~ pure trash ~ but as I get deeper into things and need to make emotional decisions that takes a lot of energy out of me. My breaks are to go on the computer and read something encouraging. and are 2 good ones.

I also keep a list on my computer of daily maintenance areas and project work (the hoard) and keep track of every single minute I spend working. All those things add to my self-respect and self-esteem. The days that I just can't deal I at least try not to make things worse by going out buying something. And I tell myself it's ok, every day, sometimes every hour, every five minutes can be a fresh start.

I love the tangibles that trigger memories too. Most hoarders do. My brother took pictures of what he loved before giving it to someone who could use it and would appreciate it. Maybe you could make a memory box. Get colored index cards and write a few notes about the item and why it was meaningful to you. Then let it go to donation with the thought that it will definitely be used and loved and provide memories for another person. I'm very low tech so I do things old school. :)

You mentioned depression and anxiety. Have you been treated for that? Depending on the severity you may need talk therapy and meds. That's been a problem for me for decades. I'm 61. If you can't do therapy or meds for whatever reason try to do the basics of healthy living. Try to eat healthy, not so much junk, walk and get fresh air, try to keep a regular sleep schedule, find one thing that gives you pleasure and do that. Find another person who needs a little help and do something for them. The other day an old woman was sitting on a bench in Walmart, trying to bend over to tie her shoe. I said, "Let me do that for you." So simple but I felt good and it gave me a little boost of energy.

Most of all remember Caitlin that you are a person capable of loving yourself and you deserve that love. Even if the people in your life right now aren't the best, you still can be. Hoarding, depression and other disorders are lifelong problems. You have recognized that you need help at a young age. You have courage and strength and the desire to better yourself and that is exactly what it takes. Take things one day at a time. Keep coming back here and all the best to you.

Dianne :)

Posted: 02 March 2013 - 10:59 AM
Hi Caitlin :)

Many people take pictures of items that have memories attached to them and then release the items.
Keeping pictures, not items will preserve your memories and free up space in your room.
Posted: 02 March 2013 - 06:23 AM
Hi Caitlin,

I have suffered from depression and anxiety disorder since I was 19 years old; so I feel your pain. :)

Cleaning a hoard can take a while to do; so don't give up on it. :)

As long as you keep trying you'll eventually get there. :)
Posted: 02 March 2013 - 12:21 AM
I am a 28 year old girl who is a hoarder and still lives at home. My room is where my problem is mainly because any little item of mine that is anywhere else in the house my mother throws into my room. My memory isn't the greatest, despite my young age. I am afraid that I will lose those memories if I lose those items. I have tried to clean little spots but to me it doesn't look like I even made a dent and it frustrates me so I give up. I want to move out but I'm afraid the hoarding will follow and the thought of having to go through everything to pack overwhelms me. My family is annoyed and is constantly yelling at me that I need to clean my room but even if I take a few things out because I feel their rightful home is in another room (ex. dvds going into the entertainment center where the player is) my mom throws them back into my room. I know I need help but I'm at a loss. I don't know how to start or where and how to get my family to leave me alone to get my head around the idea of trying to do this. I know there are things that I'm embarrassed for outside people to see. When I was about 14 or so my grandmother and I spent about 3 days cleaning it out but it has gotten worse. I also have suffered from depression and anxiety disorder since I was 16.
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