Hi Lcg83 :)

I'm so glad that you spoke to the pastor's wife.
Now you are not all alone in trying to help your friend.
Make sure to wear protective clothing and sturdy gloves whenever cleaning up any kind of poop.
Rodents can carry some terrible diseases.
A face mask is most important and use a solution of 50-50 water and bleach to help kill the germs.
Good luck & best wishes and please let us know how you are doing. :D

Tillie thank you again so much. I did talk to my pastor wife. She offered to help as well. I told my friend but she said she would consider allowing her to help. The nurse said she did report her to a social worker through the hospital but I haven't heard an update yet. I truly appreciate your help. I am going today to help clean the mouse droppings from under the kitchen cabinets. She seems to want that done more than anything.

Hi LCG 83 :)

Personally, I would talk to the pastor and ask him for guidance.
He and his wife may have a better way to approach your friend on the subject of cleaning up her home.
Plus, if the house is reported to the authorities due to the home health nurse your friend will need all the help she can get to stay in her own home.
Usually APS gives people a chance to clean up before permanently evicting them from the premises.
She may not be in a position to turn down help.

:)

Tillie thank you so much for the reply. I don't think my friend even realizes how truly bad and dangerous the house is. She seems to know it's dirty and not normal, but didn't seem to grasp the true extent of it. She said she has told the therapist that she has a hard time cleaning it and how her family does not help, but instead contributes to the mess, but I don't believe she has really conveyed the realness of the situation to the therapist. I have been debating talking to my pastor and his wife. The church is full of truly wonderful people who I know would help without a doubt, but I'm not sure how to do that without making my friend feel betrayed and humiliated. I am the first person she has allowed in. I am so grateful for that, but my heart hurts so much over it. Should I talk to my friend first and see how she would feel about me getting her some extra help? I worry she will turn it down as she is embarrassed for one and not able to see how severe the mess is for two.

Hello :)
That was so nice of you to come help her clear a path.
From what you wrote, they have a severe case of squalor.
People who squalor generally have no problem letting you throw away items. People who hoard have difficulty letting people toss things.
I suppose the therapist she talks to has no idea how bad the house really is.
Some home health care nurses report terrible living conditions, some don't.
Maybe the home health care nurse will know what the best way to proceed is.
If not, you mentioned you both attend the same church. Maybe there is some help there with volunteers?

Good luck and best wishes

A woman from church told me she needed to get her house straightened up before her husband was released from the hospital. I offered to help and she accepted. He will be wearing a boot and very disabled from the surgery. She also suffers with back problems and severe depression. When she told me she needed a "path" cleaned out for him to be able to walk through, I knew it would be bad. When I arrived at the house, the smell hit me immediately. I was greeted by her dog (she owns 1 dog and 4 cats). The door was completely surrounded by garbage and animal feces. There was a small, tight path through the house. The kitchen was completely stocked full of old food, dirty dishes, garbage, etc. There was a massive pile of clothes on the couch (she told me there was a couch under it anyways) the clothes towards the bottom of the pile were so saturated with urine and feces that were like frisbees. The toilet appeared to work, but was also covered with human waste. I was pleased that she trusted me to throw stuff away with very little meddling, but all I managed to do was clear enough garbage from the living room and tiny hallway to give them a foot path from the front door to the bedroom and bathroom. I want so much to help as my heart us completely broken for her, but it will obviously take so much more than myself. I am not sure what I could do next. She told me DFS has been called before and did not do anything about it. Her husband will have a nurse stopping by every day to assist him, so I can imagine (and told my friend) that she will probably call adult protective services. My friend said she warned the hospital the house is "messy" but I have no doubt she downplayed it the same way she did for me. She seems to not be able to see how truly dangerous the home is. What step should I take next? I'm more than willing to help her clean. She does speak with a therapist and I'm also willing to listen and support her, but I know I can't do this alone. Should I just see what happens in a day or 2 when the nurse comes by? Is there someone I should report this to? Thanks if you read this far.