Sorry, I don't have any great advice. My mom is the same way. She buys all this expensive stuff and then tries to give it to me, so she can buy new stuff. She tries to manipulate me into keeping (storing) her stuff that she can't fit in her closets, but doesn't want to get rid of. Then, she tries to guilt me into keeping it. "I paid $200 for that sweater. If you don't want it, I'll give it to aunt Helen." Then, we get into a fight because she has no money for her retirement and is in debt. Then, she goes, "Oh, I'll just move in with you." Ah, no you won't.

I don't know if my mom or your grandma will ever see that they have a problem. It's not easy to deal with though. Just hang in there and do what you are doing.

Hi :)

Sorry she acts this way but so very glad that you are doing the right thing for yourself and your family.
I'd say it is a very good success to no longer have her storing things in your home.
Keep up the good job protecting your own best interests. :)

Thank you for the advice! It is such a difficult situation & infact- i did have this conversation with her that stemmed from me throwing away a broken space heater from my house - that was mine ...... Sheesh - 2 hours of her screaming & crying & calling me names, i kept my reserve & voiced my concerns for her safety & let her know i am not going to have those concerns at my home, for my family ect. There is no changing her, but i set the boundaries i needed & though i am written out of her last will & testament, she wont be storing any more crap at my house . Im calling this success:)

Hi :)

What I am going to say to you is what I have done.
Sometimes we need to set boundaries and teach people how to respect our boundaries.
Stand up straight, speak in a clear calm voice and talk to her about what type of behavior/treatment you will and will no longer accept from her.
Keep your emotions under control. Be the adult.
Be firm. Stand up for yourself.
She may act childish and throw a tantrum but that's the risk we take when we grow up and establish a life of our own, away from them.
Make sure you are clear about the "new" rules and do not back down no matter what she threatens you with.
A good book to read is "Digging Out" it's for people who have a hoarding person in their life.
Good luck and best wishes :)

My Grandma is a good, educated , thoughtful woman- but she is an extremist. Two houses that she owns & hoards in, its terrible. She hoards everything, there are serious health & safety concerns. My question though is this : what do you do when a hoarder starts hoarding at your house ? Her homes are full - cant properly use any room in either house- but she keeps buying & letting me "borrow" things i have no need nor desire to borrow.She just brings it over & never takes it back. For example : service for 30 , 25 sherbert cups, 19 salt bowls ect. I talk to her often, and she gets irrationally mad at me if i am cleaning my house. If I throw things away or talk about rearranging the furniture in MY home- she yells at me & talks to me like im stupid. So, what is the best way to handle this type of situation? I love her & i dont want to hurt her feelings , but this has got to stop.