To both Greta and Jersey Girl-- please come over to the Daily boards as they are the active ones and you will get responses. I don't check these Welcome boards often or I'd have "seen" you sooner. Seems like you two share a lot, which is great, but you need even more support.

See you there?

Jersey girl,

My heart goes out to you. This is very hard and you deserve to be happy and enjoy your life with out feeling guilty for doing so. I wake up most days in a panic wondering what will happen in the future and I can't stop worrying. I wish there was a magic wand to fix this and that no one would have to go though this. But having read your letter and you responding back does help and I hope the same for you. Some days I just want to take my family and runaway. You are doing the right thing making sure you father has the right care but it is so overwhelming with everything else attached. I had to respond to your post last week I wrote something here hoping someone would respond but no one did sadly that made me feel worse about everything and I know it shouldn't . Have you thought about going to counseling or anywhere for guidance I have thought about it but don't know where to turn. I guess it is true misery loves company this does help writing on here and knowing I am not the only one in this situation .

Hope you have a good day

Jersey girl,

My heart goes out to you. This is very hard and you deserve to be happy and enjoy your life with out feeling guilty for doing so. I wake up most days in a panic wondering what will happen in the future and I can't stop worrying. I wish there was a magic wand to fix this and that no one would have to go though this. But having read your letter and you responding back does help and I hope the same for you. Some days I just want to take my family and runaway. You are doing the right thing making sure you father has the right care but it is so overwhelming with everything else attached. I had to respond to your post last week I wrote something here hoping someone would respond but no one did sadly that made me feel worse about everything and I know it shouldn't . Have you thought about going to counseling or anywhere for guidance I have thought about it but don't know where to turn. I guess it is true misery loves company this does help writing on here and knowing I am not the only one in this situation .

Hope you have a good day

Greta,

Thank you for your reply. Sometimes I think I'm the only one. I'm sorry about your situation. I'm worried about my dad too. He's 79, and as time goes on, he has more difficulty with walking. My mom is only 60. I worry about her and her future since she is considerably still young yet. But I feel all the pressure is on me since I'm my mom's only child. She thinks she can solve this problem on her own, but I know she can't. Worst part is she doesn't want anyone to help her.

Hi jersey girl,
I have many thing in common with you my parents have stayed with my family and I twice once 7yrs ago after my dad's hip replacement for about six weeks and last year after my dad got out of skilled nursing for rehab because he was to have home healthcare which wasn't possible at there house they we're here for 7months had to move to a mobile home because my dad was physical unable to do all the steps in there house anymore my mother didn't want to move they had lived in there house for 51yrs she would have been happy to stay here with us (wouldn't have been so bad if she wasn't so set in her ways and would have kepted at least 1or 2 opinions to herself)my dinning room was my dad's bedroom and had bedside toilet my mom stayed on the couch to be near my dad and we were upstairs in our bedrooms we only have 2 my kids share. While here my mom was trying to hoard but I would throw it out and tell her don't put empty stuff in my cabinets plus other stuff she would keep. While they were staying here my mom was suppose to be working on cleaning her house but never happened she didn't want move to their trailer and would have stayed if I didn't give her a date. My mother was very disruptive with my family and causing some problems . My dad is more easy going. Fast forward to march of this year my dad had to go to rehab again and now can no longer walk an is in ltc my nephew is in the process of buying their home which he wanted to do almost a year ago and my mother delayed that because she needed to have time to get het stuff never happened we just had to clean the house out so the mortgage company will give him the money they wouldn't do that with all the stuff in there my mom thinks the bank has no right to say that it's none of their business. We got a dumpster an went though the stuff with no help from my mom I know it's not the ideal way but this need to sell so I can proceed with getting medicaid for my fathers care and make sure my mom has what she needs unfortunately this has caused my mother to be nasty to me & sis in law. She was worried about a pr of shoes rather than family photos or meaningful things that family has given her for me it is very very very hurtful because she will tell me that's not important clothes shoes and knick knacks that meant something to she can't find she can't replace them but thing we have handmade her that she lost because of hoarding she don't care about I guess to me they are not replaceable and can be bought at a store. I know the way the house had to cleaned was not ideal but for her financial future I had to be done. She said she will never let thing get like that again she is going to change BUT she busy with my dad and going to nursing home to visit sadly I don't think she will change because she doesn't think she has a problem. I try to tell her it's not different than any type of addict the first step is to admitt you have a problem. I am heart broken because of my fathers situation and how things are with mother and how when I tell how things hurt me she tells that not it you are just saying that because of tv

Hi everybody!

It's been an ongoing battle with my mother for the whole 36 years of my life. I grew up with the difficulties of having my mom unable to keep a house clean, but this situation is at its worst. I really don't know what to do anymore.

What makes situation unique is that I moved out on my own about 5 years ago to get away from my mother's hoarding and to live a life I couldn't have as a child such as having friends over. Unfortunately my parents moved in with me. It all started when my dad was diagnosed with a back problem (spinal stenosis), and he was in the hospital and rehab for 2 months. He had to have rehabilitation at home for an additional month, but he stayed by my place because there was no way a nurse can come into my parents' house.

They are still here, and it's been almost 2 years! My mom goes home to "clean," but nothing is accomplished. I contacted the show "Hoarders." She got accepted, and they wanted to start filming. She denied this and any outside help. In the meantime she likes my clean home, but she makes more work for me because she still can't keep my place clean. When she does go home, I have to take care of my dad.

This really isn't fair for me. I'm a 36 year old elementary teacher, and I want to date and eventually get married. This situation doesn't help me at all to get what I want out of life because my focus is constantly on them. I get blamed for causing arguments. My moms blood pressure is extremely high, and she tells me to keep her calm and not argue. I don't know what do because unlike many other parents who are hoarders, mine came to live with me. They have a decent sized home rotting away to live in my condo. I'm afraid I'm not going accomplish what I want from life and have a family of my own because it's difficult to date when my parents take up my space. I love them dearly, and I want to help. I just don't know how. PLEASE HELP!!!