I don't really have anyone to talk to about this without major judgment, so I hope this forum will be the place to share and grow.
I think I have been a hoarder since I was about 18. I am 36 now and have been trying not to be a hoarder the whole time, although I didn't know hoarding was the label.
I get really distracted from organization and have rarely been able to stay in one spot to clean and sort. If I were to diagnose myself, I'd say I have OCD, ADD, anxiety, and depression. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder in high school, but I don't know... I don't go crazy on people, but I feel like I am on an emotional roller coaster internally.
I am overwhelmed to say the least. I am taking a step back in my career in hopes to get balance in my life. I tend to take on too much in every aspect of my life, including responsibilities too.
I am so embarrassed by my messy house and stuff that I avoid company at all costs. I used to host parties a few times a year and that pressure would force me to clean. It would usually take me 40-60 hours of work to get all the main rooms in order. I haven't hosted anything in a few years now. I have fibromyalgia, sciatica, plantar fasciatis, and asthma. I physically can't get it done in a week or two. I realize I have to stop organizing stuff I don't need and just get rid of most of it.
I am in physical pain all the time. I'd like to ask family and friends to come to my house instead of sitting in a car or spending money I don't have to go out because I am too embarrassed to have them over. I have kids who make messes behind me and I admit I have taught them to be hoarders unintentionally. I keep things safe for them and once they are grown, I think my house could get worse without that guilt that forces me to work on it.
I feel like a loser. I am afraid of anyone who doesn't already know finding out I have a real problem. My husband is furious and no one helps. So, this is all on me. I need encouragement that isn't condescending, demanding, or cruel. I hope someone out there can relate and give me tips to finally get out of this trap I set myself in.