I'm 34 years old and my mother is hoarder. We are not on speaking terms as of now. I already understand why she hoarders. She had a horrific childhood, and has never received help for her feelings. Now as an adult she finds emotional connections to crap that means nothing. And because of her lack of control in her own world, she tries to control everyone around her. Like a boss tells me and her friends where and when, what they should be doing for her. And if you don't she crys hysterically about how you don't love her and no one has ever loved her. And how poor she is, but continues to shop and spend obscene amount of money. She recently moved 6 hours away from where she used to live but continues to drive to her old city and live in her hoarded van, and cry to people how poor she is and how she is forced to live in her van because, her daughter "me" won't help her and that I'm a selfish person. ....needless to say, I'm emotionally over it. And can't force her to get help. So I cut her out of my life. My marriage and child come first!!! But now I wonder if it's ok for me step away??? And there's more to this story, but to much to type. So I summed it up.