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You need to understand a couple things. First, this is a true disorder that he needs to get therapy for. The hoarding disorder is complex and usually involves other underlying issues. He needs to discover what those issues are and work on them but it will take time. Second, he may never truly be ready to deal with this. You need to have a serious talk with him about it, expressing your concerns in a loving way and let him know you can't marry him and live this way for the rest of your life. This disorder will only get worse with time. You know him well enough to know how he responds to things, so pick the most appropriate way and discuss it. Let him know things like, if you are going to have children, they can't grow up in a house like this or you want to invite friends over and it is too embarassing. Ask him if he will help deal with this now, so you BOTH can be happy in your relationship and your home. Finally, join our Sunday evening online hoarding support group meetings and you can talk with us, including some hoarders, on how to best approach him. They sometimes have some great ideas. The meeting is Sunday night on this site, just click on the red tab on the right side of this page.
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