Susan, I just entered the forum a few minutes ago. I'm in Northern Virginia. I wanted to see how you're doing.

Hi Susan,
I have been checking each day here and wanted to let you know that because of lack of response, I will no longer be doing so. I am going back to my infrequent looking in.

I do not have the emotional strength and focus to track and respond to all the threads of thought going on over in Daily Chat, so I have not been posting there. I stop by sometimes and read a last post. One of those times I saw your post here.

I was very concerned about your situation when I read your post, which was why I responded to it. There were 2 issues that were of particular concern to me.

Suicide. I checked the VA resource listing and there are a number of counselors listed too (in addition to cleanout resources). I hope that you will get help with the suicide issue. It has been my personal experience that creating an emotional response to a situation or a person, in the form of; I will fix it, or you, by hurting myself, is not particularly useful or helpful.

I was also concerned about you expending the last of your resources by/in taking actions in a sequence that will not create the lasting change you wish to have.

I wish you the best in improving your situation.

Thank you. I will.

susan,

I'd like you to take a look at a couple of other threads.

Down a little bit below this one, a thread called I've never had a clean house started by stuffer.

A thread called new started by Courtney. It's down quite a ways, the way I have to find it anymore is to just scroll down the started by column until i finally see Courtney's name.

After you've read them, please make a post back here about one or two things (no more than 3) that strike you from reading them.

Thanks

The property is currently under mortgage but if we are ever able to pay it off I will own half. It's 10 acres of riverfront + the house.

The property (10 acres riverfront + house) is under mortgage but if we are ever able to pay it off in will own half.

susan,
just curious, you mentioned a family home. Are you the owner of the place you and your partner are living now?

Contact Steri-Clean and ask for an estimate.
Estimates are free.
Do you see their ad just to the left on this page?
THERE IS HOPE! THERE IS A WAY OUT!

Best wishes



http://hoardingcleanup.com/virginia

Hi. I'm new here. I realize that I have to overcome the feelings of shame and of being overwhelmed, swallow my pride, and ask for help. I feel paralyzed. I've been the sole caregiver for my partner, who had 2 cancers and one metastasis to her brain. I also took care of my mom in the three weeks between her diagnosis of stomach cancer and her death. I neglected myself for so long and my partner, it seems, was left unwilling and/or unable to care for herself or her surroundings. I care, I'm just too overwhelmed and depressed. If I'm not asleep, I'm sobbing. There is garbage everywhere, including cat urine and feces. I've made a lot of attempts to make a difference--I cleaned out the refrigerator, which was full of flies and maggots, but nothing I do seems to make a difference. I' developed an addiction to buying new things; craft supplies, clothes, shoes, jewelry... I spent what small inheritance I was given and lost the family house in the process. I have enough left, I hope, to pay someone to help me out of this hell. I've considered suicide but my feelings of obligation to my partner and my son (who would be horrified if he knew how I am living; he doesn't know. He lives across the country) prevent me from doing so. I feel dirty, hopeless, ashamed, and ineffective as a human being. I'm not used to asking for help but I'm drowning. Oh--I live in Northern Virginia but I'd love to move to a different state.