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Hoarding Help Message Boards : Welcome to the new board! : Mom and sister
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Mom and sister
   

WE CAN HELP-THE BILL CUNNINGHAM SHOW
Posted: 04 November 2011 - 01:06 PM
HI MY NAME IS NAZIA I AM AN ASSOCIATE PRODUCER WITH THE BILL CUNNINGHAM SHOW IN NYC AND I WOULD LOVE TO TALK TO YOU. WE ARE HAVING A SHOW ABOUT CHILDREN/FAMILY MEMBERS OF HOARDERS AND WE ARE LOOKING FOR PEOPLE WHO KNOW THEIR HOARDING FAMILY MEMBER NEEDS HELP. IF YOU CAN PLEASE CALL ME MY NUMBER IS BELOW AS WELL AS MY EMAIL ADDRESS.

WE ARE LOOKING TO HELP AND WILL OFFER AFTER CARE. WE ALSO KNOW THAT BEING EMBARESSED IS SOMETHING THAT MOST PEOPLE FACE BEING A HOARDER IF YOU ARE WE CAN ALWAYS PROTECT YOUR APPEARANCE AND NAME.

WE PAY FOR TRAVEL, PLANE TICKETS, MEALS, HOTEL ROOMS, & HAVE A GREAT HAIR AND MAKEUP TEAM THAT WILL WORK WITH YOU.

CALL: 212 419 7447
EMAIL: NDEFRANK@BILLCUNNINGHAMSHOW.COM
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THE BILL CUNNINGHAM SHOW
Posted: 03 November 2011 - 08:34 PM
THE BILL CUNNINGHAM SHOW IN NEW YORK CITY IS HAVING A SHOW THIS WEDNESDAY ABOUT PEOPLE WHO ARE HOARDERS WE OFFER HELP AND PAY FOR PLANE TICKETS, MEALS, HOTEL ROOMS, AND HAVE A GREAT HAIR AND MAKEUP TEAM TO HELP YOU LOOK YOUR BEST.

THIS COMING WEEK WE HAVE A SPECIAL SHOW ON FAMILIES OF HOARDERS. WE WOULD LOVE TO HELP AND HEAR YOUR STORIES. PLEASE CONTACT US: 212 419 7447 I AM THE ASSOCIATE PRODUCER ON THE SHOW!

I LOOK FORWARD TO HEARING FROM YOU :)
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Juliette
Posted: 13 June 2011 - 11:34 AM
Hi Lynn. Lucky you-it sounds like you have 2 , possible , hoarder's. It's a big difference between being a hoarder or simply being messy and lazy. Does either one ,or both , shop a lot for things they don't and don't use? Are they both active-do they work? Do they both ignore normal chores-or is there some semblance of an effort " to clean up"?Have you ever tried to talk to them about how you feel? If so do they get angry and defensive or acknowledge the problem and give reasons for not making an effort? I think that they feel no embarrassment when you , and the kids , drop in. I know that my family and friends just know not to just drop by or count on coming in because I get anxious-at possibility of being judged. If you already haven't- look up the resources and have a "do-able plan" when you speak to them both. Don't talk negatively but concerned, loving, and helpful. If they agree-great! If they don't-leave subject alone for them to deal with when they decide it's time. You and the kids can stay with a different relative, friend , or reasonably priced motel room.Remember-criticism should always be constructive! Good Luck!
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Cory Chalmers
Posted: 19 April 2011 - 10:36 PM
Hi Lynn,
I completely understand your frustration and concern for your mother and sister. It is hard to lead a normal life while knowing your loved ones are living quite the opposite. However, they very well may be happy living this way. Your mother has obviously been through a lot of tragedy it sounds like which explains her hoarding. Many people choose to lock those emotions in their vault thinking it is over with however we know that the past, unless dealt with properly, will come back to haunt us over and over. She really does need some serious therapy to work through all of her issues. There is no easy way to get her to accept help. Until she truly understands the correlation between her past and her present and even the future, she probably will not seek or accept help. And to clean her house out without her getting the therapy would be pointless because it would just fill up again just like in the past. Your sister may have developed her own hoarding tendencies due to living that way or as a result of genetics in conjunction with her own traumas. Who knows? But, you can rack your brain trying to help them and driving yourself crazy while they are living happily amongst their clutter. They know it is not normal and they know it isn't the best way to live but for whatever reason it is home to them. If nothing has worked, it just may not be the right time. I would say wait it out until one of them wants the help. They know you have the desire to help them so you will probably be the first person they call when they are ready. I wish I had better advice for you but from what you wrote, I am not sure what else you can do. Feel free to join our Sunday night support group meetings on this website as some of the other participants are hoarders and they can give some great advice as to what they feel and what they go through so you can hear it from their side. I hope you will join us!
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Lynn
Posted: 18 April 2011 - 09:46 AM
Hi, My mom has been living in her house since it was built in 1949. The house has been bad as long as I can remember. There is still stuff from my grandparents who passed over 40 years ago. My mom has suffered a lot of loss and it's easy to see why she won't let things go. My sister on the other hand has also suffered loss, but I don't know if she has the problem.
My mother and sister's bedrooms are completely uninhabitable. My sister uses my old bedroom which is on it's way to being full of junk. the main floor is always a mess. If they are expecting company they throw stuff in boxes and put the boxes somewhere. The basement is horrible. My brother did a lot of work to try to organize it a few years ago and it's been completely destroyed. I am sick of them living this way. I live out of state and stay there when I visit and staying there with my kids is so hard. I have said things to them many times and it hasn't done any good.
Any advice for getting them to seek help?
Thanks,
Lynn
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