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Hoarding Help Message Boards : Why Do You Hoard? (NEW!) : age
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age
   

AbiYah
Posted: 30 October 2015 - 07:36 PM
The first time I started hoarding, it was soon after my first husband's accidental death when I was 28. The second time I started hoarding, I was 40.
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Anonymoniker
Posted: 31 August 2015 - 03:57 PM
....lately ive been seeing all my stuff as a cause for my loneliness more than a relief from.it...cuz if i threw it oug i wouldnt be embarrassed to have people over here. Im 56 and had never had enoughroom.to accumulate stuff till i got here. Each load i toss.is a huge weight lifted...and as i do clear out stuff, i realize how much the.poverty factor was in.keeping much.of it for so long.
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Tillie
Posted: 25 August 2015 - 10:48 AM
Hi Kent :)
Do the things surrounding you really help or do they at times add to your anxiety?
So many people here try to fill a void in their lives with shopping. We do truly understand this.
Loneliness, if only we could buy that one perfect item to relieve all the loneliness.
I too suffer with it.
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Kent
Posted: 24 August 2015 - 09:03 PM
I am 30 and I have a problem with buying stuff all the time. It seems to be the only thing that keeps my mind off of my loneliness and also fills up empty spaces which will give me anxiety.
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Coralie
Posted: 25 July 2015 - 11:14 PM
It looks like I'm so far the youngest one on this thread as I'm 28.

I have never been the most organised and tidy person around but I was definitely not a hoarder as a child or teenager. Looking back, it was moving out in an attempt to distance myself from a problematic relationship with a family member by going to study a country away that started the cluttering and hoarding issue.
Come to think of it, it got out of hand very quickly and in great measure (I wasn't hoarding at all and suddenly I found myself in a mess, unable to live with the stuff, feeling ashamed and embarrassed) after I saw my father for the first time in 15 years (or since he had abandoned me when I was a little girl) and last time in my life (he passed away prematurely last year).
Ironically, his passing is what prompted me to start looking into hoarding, showing interest in it, trying to find episodes of the different shows online and realising I was a hoarder myself...
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bitsy
Posted: 20 January 2015 - 04:36 PM
it's on the daily chat board
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bitsy
Posted: 20 January 2015 - 04:33 PM
welcome. i thought i was reading a post of mine because it sounds just like me! i am sitting in my cluttered dis-organized car. try posting or reading the thread what are you doing today... lot's of us post there often.
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Jenna
Posted: 20 January 2015 - 11:35 AM
New Here. My House Is A Disaster. I Don't Love My Clutter. I Can Throw Stuff Away. I Feel I Have A Major Problem With ADD and Disorganization. I Can't Even Clean My Car Out.
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Jenna
Posted: 20 January 2015 - 11:33 AM
New Here. My House Is A Disaster. I Don't Love My Clutter. I Can Throw Stuff Away. I Feel I Have A Major Problem With ADD and Disorganization. I Can't Even Clean My Car Out.
53
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fi
Posted: 16 January 2015 - 06:32 AM
hi, 37 yrs old
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Dianne
Posted: 05 January 2015 - 09:00 AM
Hi Rhonda,

It sounds like you have made great strides in your life getting away from the problems of hoarding. You are aware of any tendencies in yourself and keep it within bounds. Nail polishes, etc. can be contained easily.

You're married, employed and have moved across the country from your family of origin. You avoid visiting them.

I think you know you will never be able to "make them understand" how it still affects you. Your brother and sister aren't going to change with long distance efforts.

The best you may be able to do is to get your mother settled in a nursing home where she will be well cared for. Or move her out to live with you. Who is taking care of her finances? If your brother or sister has control and won't allow her to be moved you should think about calling Adult Protective Services. It is very sad that she was able to have a time of beauty in her life when her home was remodeled to being back in squalor.

At some point the care of your siblings and what to do with the house becomes an issue. You could just turn away from it. Let local authorities handle things when it becomes a problem for them which it will eventually.

You say, "I won't go back to my childhood." No, but you may have to revisit it as an adult. Here's the great thing about that ~ now you have a whole lot more control than you did as a child. You get to make the decisions that will heal you. And the *adult you* can help the *child you* to understand and let go.

You're a smart, strong lady, Ronda. Take care of what you can when you can. Some things we have to let take its own course.
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RondaW
Posted: 05 January 2015 - 12:10 AM
I forgot to say my current age is 59!
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RondaW
Posted: 05 January 2015 - 12:08 AM
I grew up in a home with chaos, my father had a mess in every room and none of his projects were ever completed. Whether he was a hoarder, procrastinator or a procrastinating hoarder is in question. My mother was very passive and unfortunately my father threatened anyone if we moved his stuff or tried to clean up. Even my father's parents could not understand him and occasionally his father would come over and try to find something or clean up. Tools, books, papers were left all over the house where ever he last touched them, and the house it self had rodents, pealing paint exposed wiring and a leaking roof.

I left home at 17 and a year later my father died of heart disease. This was like a dark cloud had been lifted and my mother was able to have a professional remodel the house. I married and eventually earned a living as a house cleaner. I live far across the country. I did see the example of gracious living at my mother's side of the family. I try to emulate my aunt in the care of my home.

I have a adult sister and a brother that remained in the family home with my mother. They have no spouses or children. Unfortunately they have both become hoarders and blame each other. I have tried to visit but run into the hoarding behavior. Someone hands you a cup of coffee and there is nowhere to set it down. When you go to the kitchen thinking you will be able to fix lunch for your elderly mother and the cabinet only has stored empty jars instead of food. Food in the refrigerator that is spoiled. Old prescriptions that expired 5 yrs ago and brother tells you that he might use it one day. Stacks of books and newspapers, 2 full computers that don't work, a vacuum that is plugged with paper and doesn't work. Mold on the walls, and a kitchen table you can't find. 48 rolls of paper towels randomly somewhere in the house. Twenty or more air fresheners that someone might think will hide the odors.

I realize I have some of the inclinations. I have way too many nail polishes, body lotions, candles and bars of soap. They don't take up much room and don't invade my lifestyle much so I think I can live with that. I'd like to think that there is a sort of balance to my desire to have a clean pleasant home. I own several vacuums but the one I use every day is a small bagless Hoover I can maneuver easily and I use it daily. My kitchen counters and floor are clean and I stay current with the laundry, trash, and dishes.

Making order out of chaos is satisfying to me. I don't want the disorder and I am frustrated that my siblings are so disabled by it. I avoid visiting them. How can I make them understand that their lifestyle is a threat to me, just as much as my father was a threat to me. I won't go back to my childhood.
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jennifer14225@yahoo.com
Posted: 16 September 2013 - 09:17 AM
Book Buried in Treasures helps organize and tells you how to break it down. Get boxes and label for Keep, Give Away, and Sell. Label to who things go to with Stickees or black marker. Boxes at grocery stores. Chip Away Every Day! Buried in Treasures is a great book! Sell, give away, or give as presents household pretty items that you cherish and give to friends or families, so you are giving a piece of yourself to others you care about.
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jennifer14225@yahoo.com
Posted: 16 September 2013 - 08:50 AM
I am 52 yrs but I have hoarded since young in small things like candy bars. I have similar to a "nesting" syndrome and seem to save up and stock up just in case issue going on.

It is based on trauma and struggle and not having a support system with my family who has estranged me and dismissed me as a human being. So I Hoard and Collect Items to Create My Own Family with my things. I am an artist also and see art and usefulness in many things. I dress in many styles with hats, scarves, sports attire, many shoes, so this is all collectors.

Many different items come from Goodwill or Amvets so I must bring someone with me when I go there or I will spend $300 a pop. Also at Garage Sales or Flea Markets because there are many treasures there.

My collecting is more of a Nesting Issue to Compensate for the Loss of Family in my Life.

I have Joined Many Meetups in my area to bring like minded people in my life, so I am very active. I must balance Not Running Away From Home because of the Condition with my Activities. Hoarders really need to commit 1 hr or more daily routine to their schedule to organize a particular area of their home at a time. Do not look at entire home, look at one section at a time and chip away daily. You will get there!
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Mare
Posted: 01 August 2013 - 04:56 PM
59 going on 40! Young as you feel and all that hahaha.
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diane
Posted: 17 July 2013 - 02:03 PM
will be 65 years old this year, and this is the first time I have been able to stop shopping in many many years, definitely was an addiction and the only real pleasure was shopping, trying to deal with the need to find replacement pleasures, not that easy, when my go to, was shopping, close by, exciting.
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Isabella_Ringen
Posted: 16 July 2013 - 04:27 PM
Am 52.
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Tillie
Posted: 12 June 2013 - 12:26 PM
Hi Wes :)
Welcome to the message boards.
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Wes
Posted: 12 June 2013 - 12:23 PM
I am 48 from Mechanicsburg, Pa. and I don't know why I Hoard, Have been told becuase I have Asperger syndrome and ADHD. Which causes me social interaction issues thus I have turned to "Things" for my interaction and companionship instead of human's. Thus am where I am today with to much stuff and not enough friendships.
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Tillie
Posted: 29 May 2013 - 07:57 PM
Welcome Jamie :D
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Jamie
Posted: 28 May 2013 - 09:20 PM
Hi, I was always a pack rat as a teenager and now at age 27 I struggle with what I call organized clutter... As a mom I see it is affecting my marriage and my child's behavior... So I have decided to get this under control... I am noticing it is harder because others think it should happen over night....
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Tillie
Posted: 22 May 2013 - 08:56 PM
Hi Jody & welcome :)

Many moms take photos of their kids artwork and keep the memories on their computers rather than keeping every pretty picture their kids make.
Some arrange several drawings together on the fridge and snap a group photo.
It is one way to keep them all without sacrificing space in your home. :)
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Jody
Posted: 22 May 2013 - 12:18 PM
I am a complete sentimental hoarder and a mom of 2 small children so i struggle with anything attached to them. I am 32 and i cannot have a life of this. I always hoarded. Always. In high school i had a friend notice that I liked boxes, and hiding things inside and she said "I think there is something to that".....lol
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Roxie
Posted: 21 May 2013 - 01:06 PM
Jody, at a younger age we only referred to it as being a "packrat." And that runs in my family. The squalor came to me much later in life, though.
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jody
Posted: 20 May 2013 - 11:34 AM
Yes I agree, it can happen at any age, it just doesn't seem like a lot of those talking about their struggles are often in the thirty age range or younger...I personally think hoarders are born, not made, meaning that we always had the predisposition to hoard.
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Anne
Posted: 19 May 2013 - 08:33 PM
Hi Jody, I am 53 years old, but I realize I have had a hoarding problem for a long time. I don't think age has anything to with it. My dad was a "packrat" and I believe, from what I've read, it can be hereditary.
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jody
Posted: 19 May 2013 - 06:19 PM
Not trying to be seclusive but very interested in finding patterns within hoarding so I am interested if there are any hoarders here around 35?
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