Hi Kent :)
First thing you need to do is break the shopping habit.
Commit to not buying anything for one month to begin, except food and toilet paper as the need arises.
This is hard but the benefits will be worth it.
There is a concept we have about "shopping at home".
As you sort through your boxes you will find things you forgot you had and now you can enjoy using.
You need to make your home comfortable for YOU and nobody else.
A place for YOU to relax and feel safe, secure and happy.
As you clean, declutter and tidy up keep telling yourself "I deserve to have a clean uncluttered home".
The level of cleanliness will be acceptable to you because there will be nobody standing over you saying "it's not good enough, do it over".
A really good book is "Buried In Treasures".
It will help you make decisions as to what to keep and what to let go of.
I understand that this is hard but please believe me that as you work through doing small tasks you develop skills that help make it easier as you go along.