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Hoarding Help Message Boards : The Daily Chat : New to Forum- Need to Vent
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New to Forum- Need to Vent
   

Arianne
Posted: 23 February 2021 - 01:39 PM
Have you thought about evicting them and reclaiming your space?
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Tatoulia
Posted: 22 February 2021 - 06:03 PM
Chris, I just remembered the book that Tillie used to recommend for people dealing with hoarders-it's called Digging Out. Tillie lives with a hoarder and she has to defend her space all the time. She hasn't been feeling well and we haven't heard from her but if you go though some of these boards, you will see her loving advice.
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Tatoulia
Posted: 22 February 2021 - 06:00 PM
I am sorry this is a situation you are dealing with. It sounds so frustrating and so upsetting. One book that is frequently recommended is Buried in Treasures. I have not read it but a well-loved person on this board, Tillie, frequently recommends it.

I cannot imagine what this must be like for you. I went through a hoarding phase, which I have been able to overcome. I have trouble with my mother, who refuses to give up anything, and I do mean anything, at 91 and immobile, I can at least stop stuff from entering her place. She can't see well enough to use a computer anymore and she never really got caught up in on-line buying. But if I try to throw out the simplest things she becomes defensive and mean. And despite having had to take a look at myself and having to make a lot of decisions on my own things, I still lose my patience with her.

I am so sorry you are going through this, happy to chat with you anytime.
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Chris
Posted: 21 February 2021 - 09:32 AM
Hi,

I'm new to this forum but I am desperate to vent.

My partner is a hoarder, clutterer, and shopping addict and it's making me miserable. Her nine year old child is developing cluttering behaviors too. I pay all the household bills and without my support, they'd be living on the street.

We all know the behaviors, so I won't go into details about the hoarding or cluttering.

I've tried to address the issue in every sort of way from constructive and supporting, to being the maid, to being angry, to making ultimatums. But the result is always the same- they curse at me, call me names, mock me, and gaslight me. The mocking hurts the most. I am allowed no space in our home to be just mine except for a few square feet where I have a small fish aquarium.

It makes me want to die. I don't mean hurt myself. I mean just be dead inside so I can tune it all out.

I just needed to say that to someone because I feel so alone and sad.
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