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Hoarding Help Message Boards : The Daily Chat : Landlady comes soon
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Landlady comes soon
   

Subclinical
Posted: 25 March 2018 - 06:48 AM
I'm sorry mar. I prefer not to have company in general. Also my mess and my tolerance for people seeing it are finally close together.

I remember the mad rush of grab and stuff when the kids were young and would have friends over or out of town relatives would come. It was not fun. And my hoard got jumbled up so it was harder to find th8ngs (more duplication!) and more overwhelming.
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Mar
Posted: 24 March 2018 - 09:07 PM
No, I usually do not explain, although we give reasons like: my father works, we spend little time at home, I'm in another city...

Some years ago, my father and me lived in a two-story house with several rooms. Then, we could clear and clean the living room and/or the dining room and hide the mess in another room when we had guests.
Recently, we moved to another (smaller) house, which is far from the place where we lived. Therefore, it is very difficult for old friends to visit us.

Regarding the new friends, one of them has a big house with a big space for meals, meetings and parties. It's great! They all go there.

In addition, most of our relatives live far away from us.

But when it is inevitable that someone visits us, we try to establish or agree on the date and time to receive them and have time to put some order before the meeting.
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Anonymoniker
Posted: 23 March 2018 - 02:18 PM
Mar, do you explain to your friends why you dont want to invite them to your home? Ive found this to be tricky. Either i can let them think i just dont want to invite them, or i can explain that it is my disgusting house. Ive gotten so that if they have a nice clean home, forget it, but if their place is run down & awful, too, then they can come over here.
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Mar
Posted: 23 March 2018 - 10:58 AM
Basicly for the mess :(
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Subclinical
Posted: 22 March 2018 - 04:31 AM
Do you prefer not to have guests because of the mess, or do you just prefer not to have guests?
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Mar
Posted: 21 March 2018 - 12:24 PM
In fact, we/I prefer not to receive guests at all, unless it is really inevitable.
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Mar
Posted: 21 March 2018 - 12:21 PM
Thanks Porter for being happy for me :)

The yard is a priority because a relative of landlady can see and inform about it. Also, the garage can be seen by people.

Living room (to receive guests) is very far from be perfect.

Really, the clutter came back to cleared areas very soon.

We need a plan or schedule of chores to be made daily, weekly and so. But it will be until I return to home. Now I'm in another city.
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Mar
Posted: 21 March 2018 - 12:08 PM
Yep, it was all day and not finished.
I don't have learned it yet. I tend to underestimate the required time to do something :/
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Subclinical
Posted: 17 January 2018 - 05:06 AM
It would take me all day!

Part of this journey for me has been learning what I can reasonably accomplish in a given time and accepting that it will be slow and giving myself credit for small steps in the right direction.
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Mar
Posted: 16 January 2018 - 09:11 PM
Did you really though that? I assumed that all this (all numbers) could be done in a single day!

Well, I have a big problem estimating times ...
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Subclinical
Posted: 16 January 2018 - 07:36 PM
Mar, i'm Glad it went well.

When I looked at your list, I saw item #1 and thought "oh lord, that is a whole day!" So I think you did well.
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Porter
Posted: 16 January 2018 - 05:54 PM
Glad to hear this.
So many times , I see a post in defcon1 mode and then never hear back.

I can't ever say what worked for me will work for others.
What worked for me was knowing that I have hoarding tendency, and to allow
1 simple rule. A little mess is ok , but alot of mess is unacceptable.

Then many variations I've tried.
Landlords want to their investment property isn't going lose value due to tenant . So plumbing and pets just must be top priority. The next personal sub rule, I having a path into each and every room. No huge piles of accumulations of clutter.
So that if needed I clear a room in few hours if I really wanted to.

This led to having a large cart in the house , and a really large tub with heavy duty wheels. In this way I can clear a living space , then cart away the objects to where they belong or outside to another location. I realized I was basically abandoning thing in places. So decided to deal with it, by living in routine of chores. I can only say it's awkward to me, but I can't argue with the result .
Priority, front room to receive guests must be perfect at all times. Then the kitchen and bathroom must be comfortable for people who care about to feel welcome , clean and safe.

So then also the rooms that connect the bathroom and kitchen to the front room.

I found myself walking back and forth back and firth back and firth not really claiming space or completing a room.

So I adopted mine own way , can't recommend it , it's just my way . Is approach a room like a clock, pick a corner and clear it clockwise, then when after clearing , clean it in clockwise motion. Then go back and reorganize it in clockwise order. Removing all things not needed in that room. If I feel like the room is complete I stay there all day til it is. What discovered is the first few times takes forever, but by the tenth time it goes so quick, I'm donein just few hours.
Where as before I was hit or miss, but found a method that makes sense to me to get to the completed room feeling.
5months now in completely clean and organized.

Sometimes I make a shirt list of major things. About ten. Drink an energy drink , while I listen to music. Turn off my phone and devices , and just get to that point where there's nothing left to do.
It's not quite bliss, but I earned the feeling of happy with place , and will keep reminding myself how much better I feel about it. It's like a different life , well, a different social life anyways.

Ohhh I over posted , made it about me.
But I'm just sharing, I very gald it has worked out for you , so far. The others here great, I've learned so much!
And I don't think I would ave gotten to this point with out them. I so appreciate them, even if I don't say it as often as I would like. So happy for you MAR
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Mar
Posted: 16 January 2018 - 05:15 PM
Well, the storm has passed and I survived!

With the advice received here, I made a cleaning plan:
1- Kitchen: dishes and sink, counter and stove, sweep and mop, pantry doors, fridge (outside) and windows (getting a big bag for the trash)
1a- At same time, my father sweeping the garage
2- Bathroom: sink and toilet, mirror, floor
3- Living room and dinig room: armchairs, table, floors
4- Bedrooms: bed, main surfaces, floors
5- Backyard: sweep, vacuum surfaces (we have items there)
Things to be done in order.

What we could do in reality:
1- dishes and sink
1a- garage (dad)
1b- more dishes
1c- going for our food (dad)
1d- more dishes! (total: about 2 hrs or more)
1e- Forget remainig dishes, go to the counter!
...

For not to do long the story, I summarize: things was done in a different order, and not finished everything!

Landlady arrived, she wanted to talk with us. A long but friendly talk. At the end, she went to the kitchen. A brief glance to other areas. Backyard and bedrooms were "safe and sound", hehe.

Last time she visited us she did a more complete review, going to all rooms! That's why I was so scared!

For now, this has had a happy end :-)

The challenge will be to keep OK what we done and work on decluttering and cleaning the rest of the house. The problem is spaces always end up cluttered again ...
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Mar
Posted: 14 January 2018 - 08:23 AM
Hi Porter, thanks for your advice. With it and the one I received yesterday in the chat, I'm planning right now how to do the work today.

No social networks today, but I'll have my computer turned on because I'll be in the chat room to do "cleaning buddies". And of course, music!

Also, my dad is here and we will work together :)
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Porter
Posted: 13 January 2018 - 08:29 PM
I understand and relate to wasting time on computer .

So turn it off until after the landlady comes.

Make sure all rooms have clear path to walk through.
That the kitchen is clean,
that the bathroom is clean.
The first room , the entrance room is clutter free.
Get trash bags and remove anything that is garbage .take the bags out.

Then prioritize which rooms are easiest to clear.

I once turned a CPS worker away , in order to straighten up.
But I put all my clutter in one giant pile in one room . I explained I keep my clutter in there. It's a bedroom we don't use.

After that it took me five weeks to reorganize the clutter of the really big clutter pile. , but it was opportunity to throw stuff out , sell it, or donate.
I estimated how many objects there were, about 600 pieces in the pile. I wanted it gone in one month so 600 divided by 30 .
20 pieces a day. But it took just a little longer.


See I get feeling of being overwhelmed. So I have do a little at a time . This may not apply to you. And I'm not the resident expert here. But what I would do is focus on the rooms with the plumbing in them. The first impression room, entrance room.
And then tackle the Easest room in order. So that say you have 6 out of 8 rooms .
Then say something like I got nervous and just put all my clutter in there , but I've called goodwill or some other thrift store to help you cone get it taken away. And ask if shed like to come back some other day to inspect the cluttered rooms. Like an extention.

But then stick to numbers of pieces . Per day.
So 1 reclaim the easiest spaces ,
Then two keep on dealing with 20 pieces of clutter a day as a permanent activity.

However speaking to my life experience the clutter comes back , no matter what do , I get clear , then it comes back.

I put things in large containers , when an inspection is eminent. I cart the containers to a storage. Taking pictures of the the inside of the containers. But the storage is only temporary, and arranged so if I need to get inside a container it's easy to accomplish .

Basically like saying
At first I put all clutter into just one room.
Then after the inspection moved the clutter to temporary storage.
Then gave myself three months to clear the storage.
90 containers divided by 90 days. 1 a day , or 7 a week.

Then what I can't part with is apart of my permanent hoard.
I have to realize if I'm going to live with the hoard in my home. Or pay for the hoard in storage. I was forced to move last year after a landlady inspected my rental. It was difficult.
But I found something that fit the capacity of needs,

I have a junk room , and a hoard room. Lol. Not the same thing to me. It's not the content. It's how well the home can be walked through.

The tubs really help me, but not if I can't photo them .
Storage helps me , but adds to my expenses.
Daily work adds up to permanent decluttering.

Getting away from social media When I know I need to helps to get started and stay on task till the deadline passes
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Mar
Posted: 13 January 2018 - 03:57 PM
Hello!

Last week were informed that our landlady would come next Sunday. I though one week would be enough, but following days I only got stuck on facebook and email and did almost nothing about the house.

I got sick to my stomach (because stress, I think) and did nothing (house), until the anxiety surpassed me. I was crying, feeling alone, unable, w/o knowing where to start.

I went to the chat, where received advice and could begin to work on the dining room table in 15-minute sessions. Sadly, 2 days later, the poor table was cluttered again :(

On these days I have continued staying stuck on my computer instead of working, I have a problem with that. So, the overall progress has been small.

Currently, my house looks like this:

https://www.dropbox.com/s/n4zuakcf1cyk3k1/1bdrm.jpg?dl=0
https://www.dropbox.com/s/bbuvay1842jcrre/2ndbdrm.jpg?dl=0
https://www.dropbox.com/s/ydr9xnkub7zeznh/bkshlf.jpg?dl=0

I have a list of activities, but in the practice is difficult to identify which are the more important things, specially now when I have only 1.5 days left ...

Any help will be welcome ...
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